AN: Thanks so much as always! Please leave a review! Theres some slightly heavy content in this chapter just to warn you. Enjoy!
Chapter 13
So take this night
Wrap it around me like a sheet
I know I'm not forgiven
But I need a place to sleep
So take this night
And lay me down on the street
I know I'm not forgiven
But I hope that I'll be given . . .
Some peace
This Night by Black Lab
Layla's POV
My heart is racing. I feel positively sick to my stomach. My vision is blurring at the edges. Without thinking I'm on my feet and rushing to the bathroom. I fall to my knees and heave the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
Damon is at my side, holding my hair back in that way that only happens on TV.
"Are you ok? What's wrong?" I scoot backwards until I hit the wall. I put my head to my knees. I don't trust myself to stand.
"She's dead. She can't be calling. She's dead!" Damon's hand is on my back trying to soothe me but I jump at the contact.
"Someone else probably has her number now." I peek up at him. His face is blank aside from his concerned eyes.
"And that person just happened to get my number? That seems pretty improbable." I sound pathetic, even to my own ears.
He runs a hand through his raven hair and lets out an exasperated sigh. As per usual he crouches down and lifts me under the knees and head, cradling me like a child. Before he can take me to his room I speak up.
"I don't want to lie down Damon." We're blurred outside in a fraction of a second. He sets me down on a wooden patio swing. He of course sits down next to me.
"Why are you so freaked out by this phone call? I'm sensing some unresolved issues." My hands are very interesting all of a sudden. I can't look into Damon's inquisitive, piercing eyes.
"We were never close, my mother and I. After my dad died she spiraled out of control. She was an alcoholic and a drug addict. She used to hit me in her fits of rage. She always had some new John over. She and I fought almost every day she was alive. Let's just say we weren't on the best of terms when she died."
He disappears for a minute and returns with a blanket and a bottle of tequila. He knows it's what I prefer if I'm not having girly mixed drinks or wine. The bottle of Partida Elegante is handed to me and I take swig. I cringe as the liquid burns down my throat. I'm still no alcohol connoisseur, even though I live with a complete snob. He lays the blanket on the ground for later and sits down next to me on the swing.
"Did you know anyone that wasn't a complete asshole before you moved here?" I smile weakly and hand the bottle off to my 'boyfriend'. "That still doesn't explain the petrified look on your face and the puking, princess." I wish he was capable of not pushing me constantly. I'm getting irritated quickly but I know it's because I don't want to tell him the darkest secret I have, so I reign in my mounting anger.
"I don't know if I can tell you Damon." I whisper the words but I know he can hear me clearly. He lets out a loud sigh.
"How about you tell me and I do something for you in return, anything you want at all." The last part is said seductively. He winks and I can't help but laugh. I know deep down Damon will never judge me for anything I've done.
"Alright. You have to do what I want first though." He slides an arm around me.
"Gladly." I don't think he'll be saying that in a second.
"You told me once that you've only ever loved two women. I want to know what happened." His smirk fades fast. His crystalline eyes look far away.
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a sexual favor? I bet it would make you feel all better." I shake my head in amusement.
He lets out a loud groan and puts his face in his hands.
An hour later I know quite a lot about Katherine Pierce and Elena's relationships with Damon. Katherine is obviously an evil bitch. I don't think Elena is a bad person, but I don't think she should have dragged Damon a long like she did. She's been a very good friend to me and his story doesn't really change my opinion of her, it just makes me want to protect Damon more. Now I know why he's as closed off as he is. The only two people he's ever cared for never wanted him.
I know he doesn't want my sympathy but I can't help but embrace him. He stiffens a little; I'm sure he thinks I'm pitying him. He told me about all of the women he's slept with and how they were just there to distract him, to be human blood bags. Nothing he says shocks me or upsets me; I guess that just confirms how truly screwed up I am.
I get up and go to the blanket that he had laid out earlier. I stretch out and sit up on my elbows. I gesture for Damon to join me. He grins and comes towards me. I sit up a little grab him by the shirt and pull him down on top of me.
Our lips and tongues meld together. I know I'm not quite ready to have sex with him yet but I want to give him something. I push at his chest until he gets the hint and rolls over. He's actually smiling rather than smirking. I straddle his waist and resume kissing him. I can tell he's trying to keep his hands to himself, just letting his hands stay splayed on my back. I kiss my way down his neck and chest. His breathing is unnecessarily heavy. I nip playfully at his stomach as I travel down his body.
I trace my tongue from hip to hip at his waistline. He sits up on his arms and watches me with heavy lidded eyes as I pop open the button of his jeans. How like him to not be wearing anything underneath. I ease the zipper down, as I begin tugging his pants down his legs his face is suddenly questioning.
"I thought we were keeping things PG 13?" He lets out what can only be described as a hiss as I give his length a stroke.
"I think I can afford to cross into R territory for a few minutes."
"Whatever you want princess."
I dip down and take the head of his cock into my mouth. He thrusts forwards involuntary. A breathy moan escapes him as I take him all the way in my mouth. I look into his eyes as I move up and down slowly. The ecstasy on his face as I suck deeper and faster makes me feel powerful. He's not forceful as he takes my hair in his hand and guides my head the way he wants. He shallowly thrusts in time to my movements.
"Jesus Christ Layla." I splay a hand on his abs.
He seems to be getting harder and I move a little faster. I lick the underside of his cock each time I go up. He grunts, the grip on my hair tightening.
"Almost there sweetheart." His voice is husky and strained.
Heat surges through me straight to my core. I hum my approval; it pushes him over the edge. He stills deep in my mouth and curses as he finds completion.
I pull away with a pop. I move back up his body and snuggle into his heaving chest. He tightens an arm around me and pulls my leg over his hip. We lie together in comfortable silence for a few moments before he lets out a chuckle.
"Nice distraction tactics, but you're still going to have to talk to me." I smile against his skin. I take his face in my hands and kiss him hotly on the mouth.
"Katherine and Elena are both idiots for giving you up Damon. Although I'm happy they did or I wouldn't be here with you like this." Happiness seems to touch his eyes.
"I'm glad they did too." I kiss him quickly again before cuddling back into his side.
"You're amazing Damon. I hope I can make you believe that."
I forgot we were outside until I hear a bird fly overhead. My companion seems completely at ease lying naked in his back yard.
"Soooo…." He leaves the statement hanging, waiting for me to tell my story.
"This is completely going to ruin the mood." I look up into his eyes. He seems so content.
"The mood can never be ruined around me." I roll my eyes and let out a hearty sigh. I never wanted to think back to all of this, to put this into words.
"Like I said, my mother was a drug addict, namely a heroin addict. Heroin steals your soul; it makes you into a monster. I didn't even know who she was. She would have done anything to get more of it. She sold so many of my dad's things, my things. She eventually sold herself. A lot of drug addicts sell their bodies I guess. It's disgusting and despicable. I would have done anything to help her when I was younger. Despite all her faults she was still my mother. I loved her even though she was one of the most fucked up people I knew. I took her bullshit my whole life. I didn't think there was anything that could actually make me hate her…but she proved me wrong." He presses a kiss to the top of my head. I clear my throat to push back the cry that wants to escape.
"It was a nice day out and I had just gotten home from dancing. I walked into the house and saw my mother in the doorway of her room. A man walked out of the bedroom and she gave me a look that was almost apologetic before she closed the door. The man came towards me, he was obviously on something. He told me I really was pretty. I knew something was really wrong. I tried to back away, tried to run. But he reached me before I got to the door. He threw me to the ground tore my clothes off and…" Damons body seems suddenly tense. He's holding me a little too tightly.
"After the man finished he got off me and dropped forty dollars on the floor beside me. He said give this to your mom for me, she was right you really were a virgin." I let the tears slide down my face and onto Damon's chest, I can't help it. He begins stroking my hair down my back.
"My own mother sold me. She let some freak steal my virginity away from me. I went into my mothers room and threw the money at her. I told her to go ahead and buy the drugs. I said you better shoot up enough to die or I swear I'll kill you myself. She smiled in a sad twisted kind of way. A few hours later after I'd showered and cried away some of the pain I went to her room. She was beyond high, past the point of nodding off. She had a syringe in her arm, ready to push. She looked me in the eyes, mascara running down her cheap face and said she was sorry. She said she always wanted to love me; she couldn't handle life after she lost my dad. She said if I could forgive her she'd quit right then and there and do what ever she could to change. If I couldn't forgive her she told me to go ahead and push the liquid into her veins, she'd taken enough that it would end her. I was so god damn hurt and angry. I couldn't even think straight. So I stepped forward and pushed the syringe in. Her eyes went wide and she nodded her head. I hadn't noticed that she had another few syringes already filled. I stood there and watched as she injected the rest. I watched as the light faded out of her eyes. And now I get a call from her phone. What the fuck could it mean?" I feel sick again. It's all so wrong. It was entirely my fault.
"She wasn't a mother Layla. She was already gone. Dying was probably the most selfless thing she did. No normal human being could live with themselves after doing something like that to someone they supposedly love. She deserved death." Is he right? Did she really deserve it?
"I killed her Damon. If I had told her to stop, she would have. In that moment I truly wanted her dead. I'm so fucked up, I've always known it." He rolls over so he hovering over my body. His eyes are filled with an emotion I have no words for. I'm scared of the intensity there.
"You did nothing wrong Layla. How can you think you're a bad person? After all the shit you've been through…I would have done the same thing." I know he would have. He looks so conflicted. He runs the back of his hand across my cheek. "You're so God damn beautiful."
His lips crush into mine. He's shielding me from the outside world, covering my body with his own. He kisses my tear stained cheeks and down my throat. I turn my head to the side and offer myself up to him yet again. I want to feel the sting as he bites into my neck, I want that pain, need it. And he gives me just what I want, I think he always will.