Detective Jane Rizzoli loved her job. She always had, and she had always known she would, since she was a teenager. As a kid her favorite shows were the reruns of Kojak and The Rockford Files. She'd sit way too close to the television and shush anyone who dared talk while a show was on. She studied each episode and got good at solving the crimes before the characters in the shows even did. Charlie's Angels and Cagney and Lacey weren't bad, but Jane's favorite female cop was Police Woman. That Sgt. Pepper Anderson would do whatever was needed to get the information to solve the case, and that usually meant going undercover in dangerous situations. So when Jane was initially assigned to the drug unit, and had to pretend to be a hooker, she embraced the assignment. She had become Police Woman.

Jane was the youngest woman in BPD history to be promoted to Detective. She could see herself as Sergeant one day, like Korsak maybe, but didn't aim any higher than that. The brass-kissers who wanted all the recognition without doing any of the work pissed her off. Jane simply loved the day-to-day work of solving murders. She'd hate to be stuck behind a desk like Lieutenant Cavanaugh or any of his superiors. They had all forgotten what it was like being on the ground. Most of them, even the good ones, would eventually let the power go to their heads. No, Jane wouldn't ever trade in her detective job for a higher up position.

Because what Jane really loved about her job was the rush. The excitement of chasing after a bad guy, the feeling of power when she stood over him in interrogation, squeezing him for a confession. She'd lose all sense of time wading through evidence files, looking for something that might help break a case. She even enjoyed watching Maura do autopsies. It was gross, for sure, yet there was something enticing about it (aside from the doctor herself), being able to learn what their victims were like and what got them killed. But there was no greater feeling than the rush of adrenaline as she cuffed some asshole who dared test her.

Yes, Detective Jane Rizzoli loved her job, she loved doing her job, and she wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. Almost.

The homicide team had been called to a cheap motel on the city limits. A woman, identified by a driver's license as Sharae Williams, was haphazardly tied to the bed with the telephone cord. Contusions on her head and face indicated that she was struck several times before she was shot twice in the chest and killed.

Maura examined the body while Jane and Frost looked around the room for any evidence that the killer may have left behind. Korsak was outside the room, talking to the manager and the maid who found the body. Frost noted a small duffel bag between the dresser and the wall, haphazardly packed, as if someone was in a rush. He rifled through it, then paused and called out ominously, "Jane." There were children's clothes inside.

When Jane saw them, she put a gloved wrist to her forehead and sighed, closing her eyes to steel herself against what she was about to say. Then she turned and called out to Korsak and Maura, "Ok, looks like we've got a possible kidnapping. Frost, notify Family Justice?" She held up a small T-shirt. "Kid's probably… what? Four or five years old? A girl." She checked the tag. "Keisha Williams." It was handwritten and faded, but still legible. She crumpled up the shirt and shoved it back at Frost, shaking her head angrily. "Motherf—" She stopped her tirade before it began when she saw Maura's sorrowful face. Frost, too, looked ill. This case wasn't going to be easy for any of them. Jane gave Maura a sad smile and asked, "Anything else to go on, Maura?"

Maura mirrored her expression and tucked her emotions aside. The best they could do was to solve the case and find the girl, as soon as possible. "Time of death between midnight and three this morning. I'll know more once I get her to the lab."

Jane nodded, then looked around again, just in time to see Frost pull open the closet and practically jump back from it. Jane's left hand grazed her weapon, but she could see that he wasn't afraid of what he found, just surprised. "What is it?" She peered inside and saw the girl, curled up in a ball, her face hidden between her arms and her knees. Two black pigtails poofed out from the top of her head.

"Oh, honey." Jane used the wall for balance as she knelt down in the closet doorway, trying to look less intimidating even though the girl couldn't see her. "Keisha, it's ok, we're the good guys. You're safe now." Her head moved just enough for one big brown eye to emerge and examine Jane. Jane smiled disarmingly. "It's ok, baby, no one is going to hurt you."

Keisha lifted her head and evaluated Jane. Her cheeks were stained with tears and when she moved, the smell of urine was apparent. Jane opened her arms anyway. "My name is Jane. Do you want to come out of there and let me take care of you for a little bit?"

Keisha shook her head at first. "I want my momma." The tears began to flow and her little face crumpled up and she just hugged her knees tighter.

Jane's heart ached enough that she involuntarily lurched forward, pulling the child into a hug and onto what was left of her lap. As soon as she did, Keisha turned her head into Jane and cried on her shirt. Jane rocked her and rubbed her back and cooed until she calmed down. When Jane looked up, Frost and Korsak were staring at her like she'd grown two heads.

"I guess that maternal instinct has kicked in," Korsak stage-whispered to Frost.

Jane glared at them both for a moment, then ordered Frost, "Call DCF, not Family Justice. She's going to need a representative and a guardian." Turning back to Keisha, who was looking up at her with wide eyes, Jane added, "Is there anyone who takes care of you when your momma's not around? An auntie or uncle? Gramma, maybe? Or even a friend of your momma's?"

"Grammie. Grammie lets me watch Backyardigans." She pronounced it without the 'r': Backyawdigans.

Jane's eyes twinkled at her. "Good." Let's get you cleaned up, put some food in you, and then see if we can get a hold of Grammie."

Jane and Maura had very different afternoons. While Maura was trying to entertain Keisha in her office (a box of crayons could only go so far), the case brought Jane, Frost, and Korsak to an abandoned warehouse in East Boston. Two individuals fled the building in different directions, and the three detectives took off after them. Frost followed the taller of the two to the south and cornered him at a dock. Jane wasn't at her top speed, but she was still faster than Korsak, following the smaller man north into an alleyway. She slowed on her way around the corner and stopped when he scaled a fence. She knew she'd never be able to make it over and catch up, not 30 weeks pregnant. He was gone. She kicked a trash can in frustration.

Still, Frost's tackle was something they could work with. They brought him in and Frost grilled him for all he was worth, getting enough information to begin a search for the leader of their drug operation. By the time Jane got home, Maura had turned Keisha over to her grandmother in a teary reunion. She was waiting for Jane on her new favorite piece of furniture, the oversized family chair Maura had suggested in her sleep, which Jane liked to call their cuddle chair. Exhausted, Jane dropped her keys, removed her gun and badge, kicked off her shoes, and collapsed into the chair, her head landing right in the middle, next to Maura's hip. She closed her eyes when she felt Maura's fingertips at her hairline.

"Would you still love me if I wasn't a cop?"

Maura took no time to think, and answered with as much certainty as if Jane had asked whether Einstein was a genius. "Yes."

Jane wrenched her neck back to see Maura's calm smile and lack of hives. Then she relaxed again, tucked her nose against Maura's side and snaked her arm under Maura's bent knees and between her ankles. Her hand landed on the top of Maura's foot. "I talked to Cavanaugh today." Her fingers drummed the extensor tendons in succession. "I requested desk duty." When Maura made no comment, she added, "It's time."

There was a resolute sadness to Jane's voice that Maura couldn't quite identify. To her, it was the inevitable next step in Jane's pregnancy. It even gave her some measure of relief to know that Jane and Echo would be, at least temporarily, further from harm's reach, though Maura knew from experience that the precinct wasn't always the safest place to be. What made Maura hesitate was that Jane seemed to be giving the decision so much gravity. Her statement almost sounded like a confession, so instead of passing judgement, Maura responded with a confession of her own. "I showed Keisha her mother's body."

Jane's eyes and mouth popped open and her fingers pressed into Maura's foot. "You what?"

"Was I wrong to do that? She kept asking about her mother, when was she going to come back, and I had to tell her something."

Jane sat up and leaned cross-legged against the side of the chair, so she could see Maura's face. "So instead of just telling her…" suddenly Jane's indignation dissipated. "I don't know what you should have told her. What did you say?"

"I said her mother had died, and her grandmother would be taking care of her from now on." Jane shrugged and nodded approvingly. "But then she asked again, where did her mother go and when would she return. She didn't understand what had happened." Maura looked at her hands, one of them twisting her ring around and around.

"So you showed her."

"Yes. No, I didn't show her the bullet wounds, just her face. To show her that her mother was there, but she's dead and not coming back."

Jane reached out to hold Maura's hand. "Did she cry?"

She nodded. "Yes." Maura had finished the autopsy and put Sharae's body into cold storage less than an hour earlier. She second-guessed herself several times as she retrieved it and prepared her for viewing, covering her with a sheet and making sure the surrounding area was as nonthreatening as possible. No tools, no body matter. She confirmed that Sharae's eyes were closed and even smoothed her hair out. She hoped Keisha wouldn't be troubled by the perimortem bruising.

Then, after removing her gloves and lab coat, she returned to her office, where Keisha was coloring. Angela had supplied a box of crayons and Keisha was quickly making her way through a stack of paper, drawing mostly scribbles. When asked, Keisha described the various scribbles as herself, her mother, the dog who lived next door, Maura, Jane, and Angela. There was also one of bunny pancakes, which Angela had prepared for her when they first arrived at the precinct.

It didn't take long for Keisha to ask again about her mother. Maura tried once more to explain that Sharae had died; she wasn't coming back, but there were other people who loved her and who would take care of her. It was an assumption at that time that Keisha's grandmother would be her loving guardian, and Maura assured herself that were the grandmother not loving or not equipped to care for Keisha full-time, that she and Jane would be able to find someone who was. (The option of them adopting Keisha themselves was not absent from her train of thought.)

Unfortunately, Maura's assurances about the future didn't quell Keisha's questions. Where did she go? Why didn't she bring me? Through questions earlier in the day, Jane had learned that Sharae had been running and when whoever she was running from caught up to her, she had instructed Keisha to sit in the closet and be very quiet until she said it was ok to come out. Keisha had heard voices and loud noises, but Sharae never came to let her out. Jane did.

Maura held Keisha in the morgue and let her see her mother's face. Is she sleeping? The child whispered. No, honey, she's not going to wake up. Keisha tried calling out, shouting, even kicking her mother's body to wake her, until she understood and her tears began again. Maura brought her back into the office and sat on the couch, holding her as tightly as possible. They both cried until Keisha fell asleep.

"I didn't know how else to explain what had happened." Maura said, after recounting Keisha's reaction. "Should I have tried to lie to her? I wanted her to have some closure, a chance to see that her mother hadn't left her, at least not physically and not by choice." Maura felt herself begin rambling. "Keisha may be too young to really understand the concept of death, even with the physical evidence of it. Studies show that children begin to understand the irreversibility of death at age four, but not the associated lack of function for another one to three years, and they don't understand the universality of death until even later. By the way she reacted, she certainly understood her mother wasn't coming back. But what if seeing her mother like that gives her nightmares? What if I've unnecessarily given her a mental image she'll never be able to escape?"

While Maura was talking, Jane had repositioned herself on her side, facing Maura with her legs bent, her knees tucked under Maura's. She pulled Maura in as close as she could, with Echo snug between them, and Maura lifted her feet to link them behind Jane's knees. They fit together like puzzle pieces. "You did the right thing." She nodded when Maura looked to her for confirmation. Jane's thumb rubbed reassurance into a small spot on Maura's arm.

Jane's comforting allowed Maura's mind to slow. Scientific experiments depend on the investigator's ability to keep all but one variable constant. If a scientist can repeat the same test multiple times, varying only one factor, a pattern emerges and a conclusion can be drawn. Life, Maura hated to admit to herself, was not an experiment. No instance could be repeated under the same conditions twice, and no optimum course of action could be identified. Maura would never know whether she'd done the right thing by showing Keisha her mother's body. Even if she observed Keisha for the rest of her life, noting whether she'd had nightmares or difficulty coping with the loss, Maura could never know if what she'd done had made Keisha's situation better or worse. There were just too many variables.

While she wanted to believe Jane's assertion that she'd done the right thing, Maura couldn't quite take that leap of faith. Resigning herself to uncertainty, she changed the subject. "Why did you decide to request desk duty today?"

Jane's thumb stopped and she glanced quickly at Maura, then back down at their hands. She wasn't sure if she was feeling embarrassed or ashamed, but she did know that she worried that Maura would be mad about what had happened. "I slipped." She rushed on to explain, "I didn't fall, I just slipped. I was chasing a suspect and when I turned a corner there was a puddle or some garbage or something, and I slipped. But I didn't fall."

Maura's eyes clouded over and she reached out to feel Jane's belly. "Has she kicked since then?"

"I—I don't remember." Maura got up quickly. Jane's voice trailed after her. "Maybe—there was a lot going on today…"

Maura called out from the foyer, "Any discomfort or spotting? Anything unusual?" She was suddenly in doctor mode.

"No, I don't think so." Jane was speaking quietly now, too quiet for Maura to have heard her. I didn't fall, Jane kept thinking to herself. I slowed down after that, I should have slowed down before. I should have gone on desk duty earlier. I should have—

Maura returned with her stethoscope and lifted Jane's shirt without asking. She felt around for the baby's back and listened. At first she just heard Jane's strong heartbeat pounding a little too fast for being at rest. She glanced at Jane's frightened eyes and moved the chestpiece down a few centimeters and listened again. When she heard the faint and rapid beating, she breathed a sigh of relief. She let Jane listen for a while, then put the stethoscope away and settled back into position. This time she put a hand on Jane's far cheek, pulling their foreheads together, then closed her eyes.

"Your balance was off." It was a whispered accusation, not angry, but pointing out the lie Jane's subconscious had been telling them both.

Jane took her punishment with a guiltily whispered, "Yeah."

Maura's eyes opened. "That's why you slipped?"

"I slowed down after that. I lost him because of it." That had to be worth something. She slowed down, she wasn't being reckless. I should have slowed down earlier.

"So you requested desk duty." Maura was just trying to understand Jane's train of thought. Did she request desk duty for Echo, or because Echo was interfering with her work? It was a terrible distinction to make, but Maura had to know.

"I can't do both." When Maura questioned again with her eyes, Jane explained, "I can't be a cop and protect Echo at the same time." She shook her head weakly. "She's too important."

Maura's expression softened when she understood. Jane was putting her family first. This earned a series of quick kisses, each more thankful than the last, and when that wasn't enough she punctuated each kiss with a whispered, "Thank you." One by one, they converted Jane's remorse into serenity. It was ok. It was going to be ok. Maybe she should have slowed down earlier, but she did it early enough. They both breathed in relief.

Finally satisfied, Maura put her hand on Echo, slowly stroking back and forth and reflecting on the day's events. While Jane had successfully avoided any potential injury, Maura may have caused a little girl a lifetime's worth of trauma, simply trying to do what was best for the child. "Is this what it's like, being a mother? Worrying all the time? Not knowing if you've done the right thing, or if what you've done has caused irreversible damage?" Maura paused, but Jane just shrugged. "It hurts."

Jane felt tears stinging her eyes. "I know." Her brow knit and her lips pressed flatly together. She kissed Maura's cheek. She wanted to find some way to make it better. To make Maura happy again, and to take away the worry and the uncertainty. Then she remembered. "What about her drawings? The ones of us?"

Maura smiled then. "She made us into a family." Keisha had given Maura the drawings as a gift before she left. There was one Maura intended to have framed and hung in her office.

Maura's smile encouraged Jane. She could fix this. She could make it better. "And when she sat on your lap, or let you hold her?"

Maura nodded. "That was good. Comforting. To both of us." She looked down at her hand on Jane's belly, the way she'd come to comfort all three of them.

Jane felt goosebumps as her heart swelled with pride. In this instance, she knew for a fact she had done the right thing. "Imagine getting to do that every day."