A/N: Been a long time huh? Sorry 'bout that :S hopefully this chapter makes up for it :)
Disclaimer: Still don't own St Trinians, only my plot and OCs.
Previously:
"Kelly, I- I want to talk to you about my past, and about- about-"
Come on Annabelle, you're a Fritton damn it!
She reopened her eyes and looked into Kelly's obsidian ones.
"I want to talk to you about Chrissy."
Kelly had nodded, but before Annabelle could start to speak insisted that she sew her stomach, Belle groaned but nodded, throwing an arm over her eyes and laying down on the soft bed. The next few minutes were silent as Kelly softly but quickly stitched her re-opened wound back together. When she was done she used a wipe to clean the area and sat back.
"You can look now."
Annabelle sat up with a mumbled thank you and tugged her shirt down uncomfortably. Kelly moved to sit next to her at the top end of the bed and with a quick glance at the brunet gently took her hand in her own.
They both sat in silence, Kelly waiting for Belle to speak and Annabelle building up the courage to do so. Annabelle let out a deep and heavy sigh, rolled her head back and closed her eyes.
"I don't know where to start." She said.
"Well how about you start at the beginning?" she suggested, Belle snorted with a small smile gracing her face.
"The very beginning?"
Kelly nodded and Annabelle let out another sigh, she tightened her grip on Kelly's hand and began to speak in a monotone voice.
"It all started June 14th 1989, I was born the only child of Carnaby and Victoria Fritton eight years into their marriage. My mother was a very kind woman, she cared for me, loved me, made me feel safe. My father, well, he certainly wasn't a cruel man, but he wasn't all that nice either. Unlike my mother I don't think he ever really wanted a child, but he still made sure I was happy with material objects and received a good education."
Annabelle huffed and then Kelly noticed that she had the bed sheets in a death grip in her other hand.
"It was not too long after we had first met, two months or so I would say, it was then my life started to go to Hell. I had been attending a party with my mother, father and Chrissy, I was fifteen. It was one of my first professional parties which father had been asked to attend for a potential business acquisition, my mother had come over and told me that she felt rather ill and would be leaving, despite my protests she insisted that she would drive as I was too young and father was busy with the business owners."
By now Kelly's hand had gone slightly numb from the pressure of Belle's grip, but she daren't pull away, instead she brushed her thumb over the back of her hand and squeezed back gently. Annabelle turned her head away and looked out of the window.
"That was the last time I saw my mother." Annabelle spoke, her voice cracking slightly at the end as she quickly rubbed her eyes as they betrayed her and let a tear leak through. She sniffed and leaned back again, her eyes closed with her teeth gritted.
"Some drunk truck driver who was on the wrong side of the road had crashed into her, they had a head on collision.
"My father was devastated, he then became angry. So angry. When the man came out of hospital he used all the friends he had, all of the strings he could pull and bribes he would have to pay to get this man locked away for a sentence the same as what you would receive for man slaughter. He got thirty years but father was still not satisfied.
"Then he turned his anger to me."
Kelly's eyes and expression hardened at the hollow tone the girl used, her mind immediately rushing to a single thought.
Had he hurt her?
Annabelle seemed to have noticed Kelly tense and she shook her head, using her other hand to put over their joined ones calmingly.
"No, he didn't abuse me." Kelly almost sighed in relief, but instead she nodded, trying to calm herself.
"Not physically at least," Kelly's head shot up.
What?
"Verbally however, well, yeah. He blamed me for my mother's death. Said that if I was born earlier, or if I had learnt to drive, then I could have stopped the accident, or if I'd spoken to her longer or convinced her to stay-." Annabelle hung her head and took deep breaths, fighting away the battling tears as hard as she could.
"Annabelle, you know it isn't your fault, yeah?" Kelly asked quietly.
"Yeah, I know. I knew he wasn't speaking as himself; he was a grieving man who did not know how to let out his emotions, so he took it out on me. But I didn't know that when I was younger.
"I was also grieving, I was also feeling pain. I had locked myself in my room and hadn't left in a few days. Chrissy had found me and forced me to eat and drink again until I had regained the body weight I had lost. She tried to help me get better, before I did anything drastic, well… it was too late by then."
Annabelle slowly let go of Kelly's hand and rolled up her right sleeve, her face emotionless as she took in the crosshatching of cuts which were forever scarred into her. She hated the scars, they showed her weakness, but at the same time, showed that things can heal over time. Well, physical scars anyway.
"She was upset with me for what I had done, she had a cousin who had killed themselves when she was young, but also as she didn't want me going down this path. She said, 'Once you start down this road, it is very difficult to get off it again.' At first I thought she was lying, that it would be easy to stop. But then, as the months continued in the same way, and the cuts grew in number, I knew she was right. I had begged her for help, to stop me, and she did. She slowly but surely got me to lessen on my cutting. And then Alex and Piper arrived from America, and right from the off we were all friends. They found out and helped even more, and after seven months I was finally myself again. I couldn't wear short shirts or shorts, but I felt better.
"But with it being my life, nothing good can last for long. It was a year later on March 10th; the anniversary of my mother's passing. My father had got drunk again, as he usually was when at home back then, and he started to complain to me about my life. Said that I was going to fail, that my dreams were useless and I couldn't get anywhere. He said I should stop behaving like an imbecile and leave Chrissy, find some nice young man whom I could marry and pop out kids whilst being a good housewife. Then he once again blamed me for my mother's death, and the problems it had caused him.
"I was enraged, I always had an anger problem, but this time I was furious. We shouted for hours, arguing about everything we had held back against one another. Finally he snapped, and he slapped me."
"What?" Kelly almost hissed her voice venom as she tensed on the bed.
Annabelle ignored her however, too absorbed in her own thoughts.
"It was the first and last time, but it was enough of a shock to send me fleeing to my room. I locked the door and played loud music to block out the sound of my father banging against the door apologising profusely. I dug out the only razor Chrissy, Piper and Alex hadn't taken and started to draw into my skin again.
"Once again, I didn't leave my room, I was too lost in my thoughts to notice my father outside my room every morning, apologising, I was thinking about my mother. How she would come into my room, talk to me, play with my hair, ask me questions about school, Chrissy, and life in general. She would even tease me about my girlfriend and ask embarrassing questions she knew would make me blush crimson at their absurdness. She was the best…"
Annabelle trailed off, a ghost of a smile on her face. Kelly interlocked their fingers again and pushed away any remaining anger she felt at Carnaby Fritton.
"She sounds like a great person." She remarked quietly. Annabelle hummed and then sighed yet again, running a hand through her tousled hair.
"And then it got even worse. Chrissy had obviously figured out why I hadn't been answering her calls of texts for three days. She came to my house and practically ripped my bedroom door off its hinges. She had asked me what had happened and I just… I… I snapped.
"I have no idea why, but my anger was unleashed. I shouted, no, screamed at her. I don't even remember what I was saying. I do remember storming out of the house and sprinting away from her, loosing her somewhere in the town as she pursued me. I don't know how but I must have somehow ended up in the dodgy part of town, because I was walking down the street when a teenage boy, who was obviously on drugs told me to give him my money and phone, a pocket knife held shakily in his hand.
"I was still in a blind anger and told him to stuff it. He grabbed me and pushed me up a wall and then my anger started to subside as the severity of the situation dawned on me. He put the knife to my throat and said something about how I wasn't so talkative anymore. He moved to my pockets to try and find any thing sell worthy, not knowing that anything worth taking I had left at home. He got angry, and for some reason decided it was my fault he had no money, he then slashed me across my stomach."
"Where?" Kelly asked, Annabelle pulled up her shirt higher than before to show a jagged thin white scar running across her upper stomach. Kelly ghosted her fingers over it and Belle had to suppress a shiver at the sensation she got from it.
"Then what happened?" she questioned lightly.
"Well, Chrissy happened." Belle now felt a thick lump forming in her throat that hurt to swallow, she knew that the tears threatened to burst, but still she fought them.
"She, erm, she grabbed him and threw him away from me. I had fell to the ground holding my stomach with my head throbbing, and she kicked him against the wall. She didn't- didn't check if he was out cold and- and she came over to me. She took off her jacket and pressed it onto my stomach, but then- then…"
Annabelle hunched over, burying her head in her knees as the dam broke and her tears flooded down her face. She turned and locked her arms around Kelly's neck and hid herself in her shoulder, staining her shirt again. Kelly immediately wrapped her up in a tight hold and rubbed her back gently, not saying anything and letting the girl cry.
"And- and then s-she fell on- to me- she y-yelled a-and that b-bo-y was behin-d her, he stabbed her in t-the back a-and sh-e, she-"
"Its okay, you don't have to say it Belle." Kelly whispered quietly, Belle shook her head and continued her voice steadier than before.
"He tried to run, but this guy down the street saw him and tackled him to the ground, his g-girlfriend called 999 and they tried to help us. I he-eld her hand as we were bleeding-" Kelly was shocked when Belle barked out a harsh laugh and pulled up her right hand to eye level, "she always had a tight grip."
She could faintly see four small crescent shaped scars on the upside of her thumb, she mentally cringed, that must've hurt.
"When the ambulances did arrive we were taken in different ones, I remember passing out and waking up two days later. The room was empty until Chrissy's mother walked in, she was a vile woman and resented me right from the off. She told me that C-Chrissy hadn't made it, and that it was my fault.
"Only this time, I knew she was right. If I had more strength, if I was stronger, if I could have resisted the temptation, then she would still be alive. If I didn't have this stupid fucking anger issue, if I was a normal god damned kid, then she would still be here, and I- I hate myself because it was my fault."
Annabelle shuddered out a breath and leant back against Kelly's chest, trying to calm her raising temper by listening to her steady heartbeat.
"I tried to kill myself."
She was sure she heard Kelly's heart stop for a second, but she knew she was mishearing things.
"They stopped me in time and held me back for psychiatric reasons, making sure I wouldn't off myself at some point. I was stuck there for almost three weeks, and when they let me out I begged for them not to tell the school about the cutting. They told the nurse about my anger management, possible panic attacks and needed medication, but not about my arms. They left that out.
"I was doing well for a few weeks, Piper and Alex helped me, cheered me up when I needed it and comfort me when I was down, and they supported me through all the shit, even made sure the bullies stayed well away with death threats. They were amazing, but then Thwaits got to me, and we got into our fight which led to me coming here. You know the rest."
Kelly was silent and Annabelle was thankful for that, she was still overwhelmed she had let that much out, but she also felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders at the same time.
"I just- I want to be a normal kid again. I want to goof off at school with friends, skive class, go out to movies, go a little more crazy, fall in love... Like I used to be. I- I want to be myself."
Kelly rubbed her back and pulled her closer, Annabelle felt vulnerable and crawled closer to the warmth she felt from the older girl, closing her red eyes and taking deep breaths.
"Well, if you would want, we could help you with that." Annabelle raised an eyebrow, despite the fact that Kelly could not see it.
"What do you mean?"
"We could help you feel like your old self. Goof off during lessons, skive, go to movies, be a little crazy and risky, and even… fall in love."
Annabelle smiled, and despite herself felt tears stinging at her eyes again.
"You would do that for me?"
"Of course, how about this weekend? Miss Fritton told me earlier that she had arranged for the school to go to the town down the hill as a treat for doing so well with the painting scam so far. We could all go and just have fun, would you like that?" she asked.
Annabelle nodded and Kelly smiled, rubbing her back again when she felt the tears seep through her shirt again. She remembered something she had heard and started to hum it quietly.
Annabelle started to relax when Kelly began to sing very softly into her ear, the slight shock of hearing her singing soon being replaced by content. She listened to the words and smiled sadly.
"Wandering child of the earth,
Do you know just how much you're worth?
You have walked this path since your birth,
You were destined for more.
There are those who'll tell you you're wrong,
They will try to silence your song,
But right here is where you belong,
So don't search anymore.
You are the dawn of a new day that's waking,
A masterpiece still in the making,
The blue in an ocean of grey,
You are right where you need to be,
Poised to inspire and to succeed,
You'll look back and you'll realize one day."
Slowly but surely, as Kelly's voice continued to hum the lyrics into her ear, Annabelle felt her eyes droop, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to her.
"In your eyes there is doubt,
As you try to figure it out,
But that's not what life is about,
So have faith there's a way.Though the world may try to define you,
It can't take the light that's inside you,
So don't you dare try to hide,
Let your fears fade away.You are the dawn of a new day that's waking,
A masterpiece still in the making,
The blue in an ocean of grey,
You are right where you need to be,
Poised to inspire and to succeed,
You'll look back and you'll realize one day."
And then, as Kelly's voice started to fade away, Annabelle fell into sweet unconsciousness, the last thing she heard was the last line of the melody.
"You are the dawn of a new day that's waking,
A masterpiece still in the making,
The blue in an ocean of grey,
You are right where you need to be,
Poised to inspire and to succeed,
You'll look back and you'll realize one day…"
A/N: Thank you to the Guest reviewer who suggested this song, I looked it up and loved it, I just had to put it in! If you haven't looked it up yet then you defiantly should, its called "Wanderer's Lullaby" by Adrisaurus, go check it out :)
The next few chapters will be lighter and not as intense as they have been at the moment. Leave a review if you liked it, and tell me what you think :)