CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
The screams woke her. It took a minute to realize they were her own. "I'm right here, Veronica, I'm right here." Logan was cradling her against him, rocking. "You're safe." She buried her face in his chest while he stroked her hair. "I've got you," he murmured against her temple, "you're okay."
Her breathing slowed. Being in his arms always made her feel safe. It was soothing to be so completely loved, cherished, that she could be secure knowing there was nothing he wouldn't do to protect her and keep her from harm.
Veronica didn't know they weren't alone, until the nurse spoke and the overhead lights clicked on. She blinked against the brightness. "Okay let's just fix these monitors and give you something to help you sleep." Her brusque attitude made her instantly unlikeable.
"I don't want to go back to sleep." Veronica's protest fell on deaf ears. Nurse Ratched was already injecting the morphine into her IV.
Logan settled her back on the bed, but he didn't release her. The nurse frowned at him, but his stony expression kept her silent on the subject. Her lips thinned into a line of disapproval and she fixed the monitor leads without making him move.
"Turn off the lights when you go." His cold gaze followed her from the room. When he turned back to Veronica the transformation from icy to tender was instantaneous.
"She was only doing her job." Veronica laid her fingers against his cheek. He wasn't the only one with an overwhelming need for contact. She loved having him near enough to touch.
Logan turned his face and kissed her hand, "and I'm doing mine. Taking care of my family is the only job that matters to me."
The word 'reenlistment' popped into her head. "What about the Navy?"
"I would give that up right now if you wanted me to. You have to know by now; I would do anything for you."
Walk the walk, Veronica. She met his eyes. "I will never make you change for me Logan."
He smiled, "Veronica Mars are you saying I'm perfect just the way I am?"
"Perfect, not so much." She closed her eyes and laid her head on his chest, "but I love you enough to keep you around for, hmm, I don't know fifty, sixty years?"
Logan kissed the top of her head and rested his face against her hair, "that might not be long enough. I was thinking forever would work for me."
"Sounds nice." The gentle rise and fall of his chest coupled with the steady beat of his heart lulled her to sleep, but when she woke up, she was alone. The curtain around her bed was closed, cutting her off from the rest of the room. "Logan?"
"I'm here," he tugged the curtain back. The contents of her case file were spread around the room. There were neat stacks lined across the windowsill, floor, and rolling table. A thick pile of pages was balanced on his lap.
"What are doing?"
"You're the one who said I should read more."
"I meant books."
"We're a team remember? Bonnie and Clyde, the dynamic duo."
"I think you've got that wrong. The Dynamic Duo was Batman and Robin."
"You don't look like a Robin." Whatever he was thinking turned the temperature of his gaze from smolder to simmer to boil. "Now, Catwoman on the other hand, skintight leather, thigh high boots, a whip."
Veronica fanned herself, "did someone turn up the heat in here?"
"Ssh you're interrupting my fantasy."
"If you play nice and share maybe next Halloween it won't have to be just a fantasy."
"You're right, it is hot in here." Logan glanced down at the pile in his lap, "what do you want to start with? Boring emails from his mom? Equally boring emails from Wallace? Or…"
She cut him off, "why are you being so agreeable?"
"You know me, easygoing Logan Echolls." When she didn't respond, he sighed. "I love you Veronica, all of you and this…this is what you do. I'm not going to stop you from being who you are. Besides, don't you think I want to find the person who shot you just as much as you do?"
There was something in the way he said the words, don't you think I want to find the person who shot you, which made Veronica nervous. He might be safer back on his aircraft carrier. "Have you read through all of it?"
"This is my last pile," he yawned. "These emails are like warm milk and tranquilizers."
"So nothing interesting then?" Logan just stared at her. Veronica sighed and looked around the room. The sight of all this work with no leads was just depressing and she was afraid her best chance at solving who killed Piz, died with Marjorie. "Hey, I don't suppose while you were doing all this work you thought about food?"
He'd gone back to reading. Without looking up, he responded, "I ate."
"Uh, I meant for me."
Logan grinned, "I knew what you meant."
"Wyatt is hungry." His grin intensified. "What?"
"You called her Wyatt."
"It means nothing except my brain is obviously impaired by hunger." She tried and failed to contain her own grin.
"Buzz the nurse."
Veronica wrinkled her nose in distaste, "hospital food?" Dick was totally spoiling her.
"No, I'm taking you out to eat and you need to get ready." He called for the nurse, "there's a very strict dress code in the cafeteria."
"Oh good you're awake." Unlike last night's nurse, this one seemed overly perky, "time to get you up and out of that bed." All she needs is a pep squad uniform and some pom-poms. Logan gathered the case file together, while the nurse changed her dressing and got her ready for her "date."
"You clean up pretty good Mars."
She batted her eyes at him, "that's what all the boys tell me."
"Hmm maybe you should wait for one of them to take you to dinner." Logan slowed his pace to match her shuffle step. "They're talking about discharging you," he sounded skeptical.
"The rising costs of health care, what can you do?" They reached the elevator and she leaned against him. "Does that mean you'll have to go back?"
"Why don't you let me worry about that?"
That didn't sound good. "You're not planning to do something Logan-ish are you?"
"Logan-ish?"
"You know something that involves military police, court-martial, and the brig."
"We can be prison pen pals. I hear sex by mail is really hot." He smirked, "I think it has to do with all the licking."
"They use self-seal envelopes now." The cafeteria was on the ground floor in an open space with tall glass windows and ceiling. It even had a name, Atrium Dining. There were individual hot and cold stations, a salad bar, a dessert cart and an area where you could build your own ice cream called the Sundae Spot. Maybe Logan wasn't kidding about the very strict dress code. Even when sick, the wealthy in Neptune dine better than you do, Veronica. "What no maitre d?"
"He was fired last week for letting in the huddled masses and wretched refuse." He steered her toward one of the tables, "just tell me what you want and I'll get it."
"And pass up on the chance to impulse eat? I don't think so." Logan shook his head, but he did her bidding and circled her around each of the stations. They both got the macaroni and cheese with pancetta and cups of tomato soup. She added a spinach salad, two chocolate milks, a sliced mango and a piece of lemon cake. "That should be good for now." Not one snappy quip about her food consumption, she was impressed.
He left their tray with the cashier, settled her at a table and went back for the food. As soon as the tray was down, she dug into the rich and creamy macaroni. After each bite she sucked the cheese off her spoon. Logan was staring at her, his food untouched. His hand was curled around the edge of the table and the side of his thumb was drumming out a steady beat on its wood surface. "Are you jealous of a plastic spoon?"
"It is where I would like to be." Only Logan could make her feel sexy in a hospital gown with an IV in her arm. "You turn the most delightful shade of pink when you're turned on."
"This," she pointed to her face, "this is embarrassment."
A slow smile, "sure it is." His gaze wandered away, "what is it about us and cafeterias?"
"We both belong in institutions?"
"Ah there's that quick wit I love so much."
He still wasn't eating. Something was on his mind and it wasn't flirting or food sex. "Is this about my discharge?"
"How long do you think they'd keep you if I donated a new wing?"
"Until the baby was in college?"
"Perfect." He pushed the food around his plate. "An hour? Two? I'm trying to figure out the wait between your release and the start of your detecting."
"Start? I'm detecting right now and what I deduce is sarcasm. What happened to I love all of you and this is what you do?"
"I meant every word, but it's easier to say when I can see you and as much as I may want to engage in mail sex with you, I do have to go back."
She softened. "Do you know the odds of someone getting shot twice? They're probably really high, like being struck by lightning."
"That's not funny Veronica."
"I'm sorry." She finished her macaroni with less enthusiasm than before and moved on to her soup; studiously trying to avoid looking at him. There was nothing she could say anyway. It didn't matter if she promised to be careful; it wouldn't alleviate his fears. New subject to the white courtesy phone, paging new subject to the white courtesy phone. "Do you remember Cara Murphy from Hearst?" At his blank stare she elaborated. "Tall, beautiful, brunette in your Sociology class?"
"The class I attended so regularly? Must have missed her; all my attention was focused on this cute, little blonde number I was sleeping with at the time. Worked in the library, was always trying to get me to expand my horizons." He poked at his food. "Do you think she's the one Piz wrote those unfortunate emails to?"
"Maybe." There was another candidate for that role, one with a better motive. She just didn't know how it all tied together. Cara Murphy was her first logical stop, but she wanted to talk to Philip Dunn too. The words fat chance instantly followed the thought. Philip Dunn was not going to be very receptive to helping her after the murder of his sister. She might have more luck trying to talk to Karen Dunn. The frosty attitude at the house when Veronica mentioned Marjorie hinted at a strained relationship between the two, which meant Karen Dunn might not be above speaking ill of the dead.
Clearly Logan is right Veronica; you're going to be investigating the second you walk out of the hospital. She watched him. There was still more pushing and prodding at his plate than there was eating and he was too quiet. "Not all women find the strong, silent brooding sexy on a man."
"Lucky for me you're not one of those women." He abandoned the pretense of eating. "Piz's story, my name is on his list."
"Better than your kiss being on it." The joke was a reflex. The unevenness of their conversations was sometimes disconcerting. It amazed her how other people couldn't see how alike they were; avoiding confrontation with barbed jokes, deflecting anything too personal with humorous sarcasm. It was their own unique dance: joke, joke, jab, very real moment, tenderness, flirt, and repeat. Her next joke was cued and ready to go: you get arrested too often for me to think you're paying off the Sheriff's Department. Instead she said, "Logan, I know you better than that. Piz wanted something to be true that just wasn't." Her words applied to both Logan's guilt and her feelings.
"He loved you." Logan smoothed down her hair and tucked it behind her ear. "It's something I can understand since I suffer from the same affliction."
Her head tilted and she gave him a coy smile, "suffer?"
"When you look at me like that there is definitely some suffering involved."
Man, he was good. Her mind rooted around for a new subject, a safer one, and she frowned. Piz's unfortunate emails and story notes were at Dick's house. Nice to know Lamb is doing such a thorough investigation into who shot me. Did he even bother searching? "I take it Mac dropped by to see me?"
He nodded, "along with your Dad, Wallace, Dick, Dottie and that Norris guy. What's the deal with him?"
She frowned, "remember? He was the kid the ATF suspected of planning to blow up Neptune High?"
"Veronica, my memory is only fuzzy on things that aren't important to me. I know exactly who Norris is and how you got involved with that case. What I'm asking is what's his deal now? He showed up in uniform and I was expecting to be arrested for loitering in your room."
"He's been helping me with the case. Speaking of which, did he bring me anything?"
"Just flowers, which I promptly threw away." He shrugged, "you wouldn't have liked them anyway, they were hideous. Weeds, really."
"First a spoon, now Norris, you need to get this jealousy in check."
Instead of answering, he leaned over the table and kissed her. Not a soft, you're so cute, kiss, but a real, if only this table wasn't between us, kiss. Achingly sweet, almost reverent at first, its intensity grew until it was white-hot with need and dizzying in its effect on her. It was a long time, before remembering where they were, he pulled back. She gave him a shaky smile, "wow if that's a hint of things to come, can I leave the hospital now?"
He grinned, "Eat up; you'll need your strength."
She pushed his bowl toward him, "same goes for you." They couldn't stop smiling while they finished dinner. As soon as she swallowed her last bite, her eyes flicked to the Sundae Spot and back to him, "ice cream?"
He dutifully went and got her a chocolate cone with sprinkles. Veronica held on to him with her free hand and he pushed the IV stand along. She could feel him watching her and took a long, slow, deliberate lick of her cone. "If you're trying to change my mind about them releasing you, it's working."
Veronica stopped eating, "ooh."
Logan's steps faltered, "What?"
She let go of him and touched her belly, "she's moving."
Logan just stared at her for a minute, his expression unreadable and then he looked away. "Maybe you should pinch me again." He shook his head, "I can't explain it. I know in my head, Veronica's pregnant, but to see you, to touch you." He placed his hand over her belly. "It's just so…unreal that we're here. You and me, having a baby. You're having my baby. The idea of it just blows me away."
Veronica put her hand over his, "I love you Logan." It was as simple and as complicated as that.
"Hearing you say that? It's even better in person."
She laced their fingers together and they resumed their walk. "Want to go look at the babies?"
The doors opened on the waiting elevator, "None of them will be as cute as Wyatt."
"Probably not." She smiled, "we really can't name her that." He made a noise that sounded like 'hmph.' "I do like Charlotte and…Jillian."
"Jillian Echolls. It has potential." He turned and leaned his back against the wall of the elevator so he could look at her, "Jillian Wyatt Echolls. She can be my little Jillybean."
"Still not letting go of that Wyatt are you?"
"I'm never going to let go of either of you." He enveloped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head.