They spent most of Jane's promised cuddle time in their cuddle chair, legs and feet intertwined and the laptop between them, putting together a baby registry. Angela had been nagging Jane about this for a while, saying if they didn't, their baby shower would result in nothing but newborn onesies and receiving blankets. Jane had figured you could never have too many tiny onesies, but then remembered that online shopping was one of Maura's favorite pastimes. And eventually Echo would need medium-sized onesies.
Jane shouldn't have been surprised to find out that Maura had already researched strollers, carriers, swings, car seats, playpens, and monitors. She quickly selected what she'd decided were the safest, highest quality, and most stylish options. Jane refrained from commenting on how few of their shower guests were likely to shell out a grand for a stroller and simply inserted, "Oh, that one is cute," and, "I like it," where appropriate. Next they chose some practical necessities: bottles, a feeding pillow, diapers and wipes, soaps and bath stuff, pacifiers, a thermometer, and on and on. Jane rested her head on Maura's shoulder, closed her eyes for just a few minutes, and fell into a light sleep.
Jane was in the interrogation room assembling a puzzle. Maura sat with her, handing her the pieces one by one. Each piece was an item from their registry. With only a few empty spaces left, Jane looked up at Maura for more pieces, but Maura just shrugged, saying that was it. Jane looked under the table, but none were on the floor. Then she noticed a puzzle piece stuck to Maura's sleeve. She plucked it off and placed it in the puzzle. She inspected Maura more closely and found the rest, tucked inside pockets, tied into hair, slipped under a bra strap, and hidden beneath lace.
Jane breathed in deeply and rolled over, mumbling, "I gotta pee." When she returned and snuggled back up, Maura had the browser open to an endless page of newborn clothes.
"Look at this, Jane. It's a boy's onesie but it has an elephant on it."
"Get it."
"It's blue."
"Get two."
"People will think she's a boy."
"So what? The people who matter will know she's a girl, and we can correct anyone else. I don't think we should assume anything before we even know her. She might turn out to like pink." Jane shrugged. "Or she might be like me and hate it. Let's get things in all different colors and let her decide."
Maura smiled and pulled Jane toward her for a kiss. "Smart Mama." She added it to their list.
Monday evening Jane was talking animatedly about something funny Frost did that day, when Maura noticed a mark on the palm of her right hand. She waited until Jane was done with her story, laughed appropriately, then took ahold of Jane's hand. She held it in both of hers, palm up. "What's this?" On the thenar, the fleshy part of the palm at the base of the thumb, was a small capital letter M, written in ballpoint pen.
Jane tried to pull her hand away, but Maura held on tightly. Her thumb passed over the temporary tattoo twice, then she looked back up at Jane, her eyes amused and challenging Jane to explain this familiar letter. Absently, her thumbs and fingers massaged the faded scar while she waited.
Seeing Maura's challenge, Jane smirked briefly, then straightened her face. "To remind me what's most important," she explained. She extended her wrist and turned her hand around, her thumb pointing toward the floor and upending the M. "Walter, my thoroughbred horse." She failed to hide her smile.
Maura brought Jane's hand around to the small of her back, then draped her own arms around Jane's shoulders. She, too, couldn't stifle a grin. "I don't believe you." Her voice was sultry and as she said it, she leaned up to kiss Jane's jaw.
Jane's fingernails scratched at Maura's dress. She tilted her head so her words rumbled into Maura's ear. "Why, is my spatula orbiting?" Her breath warmed Maura's neck before her lips made contact.
Maura's lashes fluttered. She whimpered. At a loss for words, all she could reply was, "Mhmm."
Jane woke up from a Wednesday afternoon nap to find Maura home from work, sitting with Angela on the couch, a photo album spread between them.
"Is that Frankie? Look at his hair!" Maura exclaimed, pointing.
Oh no, Jane thought. It's the baby pictures. She cleared her throat as she entered the room, giving her Ma a look of reproach.
"Oh, Janie," Angela retorted. "Give it a rest. You were precious." Then she turned back to Maura and the album, saying something about what an easy baby Frankie was compared to Jane.
Maura wasn't listening, though. Her mouth was hanging open and her eyes gradually made their way from Jane's bare feet, up her maternity jeans-clad legs, over the rounded belly sticking out of her strained white tank top, and finally up to her raised eyebrows. When she realized that Jane had watched this progression, she blushed profusely and looked back at the photos in her lap.
Jane offered an amused, "Really?" and bent as best she could to kiss Maura hello. While in the vicinity of her ear, Jane whispered, "Barefoot and pregnant. That does it for ya, huh?" Maura blushed even more.
Jane picked out an apple and joined them, sinking into the cushion and leaning in possessively to rest one arm around Maura's shoulders. Maura wiggled back into her embrace.
"You haven't shown her my baby pictures yet, have you, Ma?"
"Oh, yes!" Maura interjected. "You were a handsome child, Jane." When Jane rolled her eyes, Maura put her fingers to her mouth, trying to hide an impish smile, then asked, "When did you start plucking your eyebrows?"
Jane groaned. "Don't you mean 'eyebrow'?"
Maura giggled. "I wonder if Echo will come out with one eyebrow or two?"
Jane poked her in the ribs, eliciting more giggles all around. When the laughter died down, Jane peered over Maura's head and asked, "Ma, did you tell her about Pop?"
"What about him?"
"How he was, before I was born."
"Oh, he was nervous," Angela assured Maura.
"Yeah, but tell it, Ma."
"The story?"
Maura's head ping-ponged between the two Rizzolis on either side of her, bright eyes eager to hear a Rizzoli family story.
"Well, you don't have to, I guess." Jane's words were noncommittal, but her face was smirking.
"I dunno, Janie. Do you think she wants to hear it?" Angela was teasing now, too.
"Yes!" Maura finally spoke up. "Please! Angela, please tell the story." She nodded. "I would like to hear it."
Gratified, Angela acquiesced. "Well, if you insist." She sighed and patted Maura's thigh.
"I got pregnant less than a year after we were married. We lived in Frank's mother's basement at the time, and Frank was so worried about money." Angela tilted her head down as if she were looking over imaginary glasses at her girls. "Babies are expensive, you know."
Receiving two nods of acknowledgment, she continued, "So Frank was taking as much work as he could before the baby came. He was working for old Mr. Cicconi at the time—Do you remember him, Jane?" Jane shook her head. "Oh, he was a mean old bastard."
Maura gasped inaudibly and Jane chided, "Ma, language." Maura turned her head to wonder whether Jane's interjection was on Maura's behalf or her own. Jane winked her answer.
"Sorry, Janie. But he was." Looking back at Maura, Angela made her point. "Frank was working so hard, but his mind wasn't on the job. He couldn't keep anything in his head! He'd forget appointments or think he was going to install a kitchen sink when the people needed their toilet unclogged. The final straw was when he put lead pipes in someone's new bathroom instead of copper. He had to redo the whole thing! Old Mr. Cicconi almost killed him for that, and took it outta his check!"
"But when push came to, well, push, he was right there for me when Janie was born. He skipped out on an important job to be there. Did that for each baby, too. Mr. Cicconi wasn't too happy about it, and he got an earful from his buddies at the local, but he didn't want to be anywhere else."
Maura smiled warmly, but then her smile faltered when she asked, "Did he—What did he do while you were in labor?"
Jane's eyes narrowed as she noted Maura's question and waited for her reaction to Angela's response.
"Oh, honey, he was useless. He was a wreck with Janie, pacing and bored, and then when she finally came out, he fainted." Angela threw her hands up hopelessly.
Maura looked troubled.
"Then with Frankie? Well, Frankie was a week late and I tried everything to start labor. Finally, Mrs. Rossi, our neighbor, said I should try a glass of wine and a nice hot bath. Frank thought it was just an old wives' tale and finished off the bottle, and was still drunk when I went into labor! He finally sobered up, but he was still pretty useless.
"Finally with Tommy he managed to stay conscious and sober, but by that time he was so confident about it, he got bored. About halfway through he went out to get a grinder, 'cause he was hungry."
Maura looked questioningly toward Jane, who shrugged through her laughter. Maura said solemnly, "I promise not to consume alcohol or leave you to eat while you are in labor."
Jane just smiled affectionately and said with feigned gravity, "Thank you."
The most annoying thing about being on desk duty was the regular hours. Jane knew she should appreciate being able to go home at the end of the work day, and not being on call to go to a crime scene in the middle of the night or on weekends. And she did appreciate being able to get a full night's rest, at least on the nights Echo allowed it. But Jane was an unabashed workaholic. She loved her job and hated being home with just the pets while Maura was working late or out on a call.
At first she tried cleaning. But between Jane's Ma and Maura's hired cleaning lady, there just wasn't much to be done. She took Joe Friday for long walks until the neighbors started recognizing her and trying to make friends. As soon as one of them tried to touch Echo, and without asking for permission, Jane had to start avoiding that block in the evenings.
The final straw was when Maura's phone rang just after six on Friday night. Maura answered it as she always did, sounding professional even though she had just sat down to relax with Jane while Angela made them all dinner. Jane groaned and reached for the phone in Maura's hand, intending to tell whoever was on the other end that Maura was busy, they should send Dr. Pike instead. Sadly, she was too late and Maura had to go all the way out to Brookline for a murder/robbery. She would be gone most of the night.
So Jane was stuck with her Ma. As much as Jane complained about her mother's hovering, deep down she loved it. Mostly. She didn't love it when Angela barged in without knocking, or when she tried to interfere in Jane's relationships. It might have been Jane's imagination, but she thought Angela was getting better about those things. Angela stayed out of their bedroom except to get the laundry, and even then, she only went in when she knew they were both somewhere else. There was no more nagging about "When are you gonna find a man, Janie?" or "If you'd dress yourself more like a woman you'd have an easier time finding a boyfriend." Jane knew that Maura and Echo weren't exactly the family Angela had imagined for Jane, but she embraced them all the same. She'd never set out to satisfy her mother's wishes, but Jane was pleased she had.
She was also pleased that her mother would still cook her eggplant parmigiana for dinner. Angela set a plate in front of her daughter then leaned her elbows on the counter. "Janie. I've been watching this show on Netflix. It's about lesbians." She said the last word pointedly, as if it carried more weight than it ought to. As if she were saying she was watching a show about female police detectives who get knocked up and fall in love with their female chief medical examiner best friends.
Jane rolled her eyes. "Ma," she warned.
"Now don't give me that look, Jane Clementine Rizzoli. All I'm saying is that I'm learning a lot from this show. They're very glamorous."
"I'm not a lesbian, Ma. You don't have to watch TV to get to know me. I'm the same person I always was."
"I know that, Janie, and that's not what I'm doing. Not everything is about you, you know."
"So what, are you thinking of going gay? Now that you've seen all the glamorous lesbians on TV?" Jane twirled her fork in the air and over-enunciated the words, mocking her mother.
Angela shrugged. "Maybe. If the right woman came along. I'd consider it."
Jane scoffed. "Yeah, well you let me know if that happens." She ended the conversation with a gratuitous eye roll.
An hour later, Joe Friday had been walked, the kitchen had been cleaned, and Angela was out of Jane's hair. After flipping channels for a while, something brought her to the Netflix menu. Because Maura shared her account with Angela, right up there on the Recently Watched list was The L Word. Jane drummed her fingers on the sofa arm, consulted Joe Friday (no objections), then bit the bullet. Play next episode. Then she got up and walked away. Maybe there was some laundry that needed folding. Or something that needed to be put away in the baby's room.
Several minutes of avoidance later, she returned, resolved. She should just consider it research. Like Maura would do. Maybe she'd learn something.
The first scene she saw had a boyish woman with a weird haircut. There was something smooth about her, though. She was talking about music with a black woman Jane thought she recognized from somewhere. But before she could place her, the next scene started. Two blondes… one of them was on Moonlighting… they went into the bedroom and the younger blonde landed on the bed face first, her chest kind of hanging out, right there. This wasn't so bad. Jane thought she might learn something useful. Then the Moonlighting chick brought out a gift for the other one, a book: The Whole Lesbian Sex Book. What?! That exists? The younger blonde flipped to a page and showed the picture, 'anallingus'. WHAT?! No no no no no. I am not old enough for this show. Jane fumbled for the remote and pressed buttons until it stopped.
Maura had blocked out two hours on Saturday morning for a prenatal partner yoga workshop. Yoga had never been Jane's favorite activity, but when Maura finally told her what she had planned that morning, how could Jane say no? Maura's lower lip was tethered between her teeth and her eyes were wide, spatulas orbiting and hopeful. All Jane could do was kiss the upturned corner of her mouth and change into the most suitable pregnancy workout clothes she could find.
As usual, it wasn't as bad as Jane had imagined it. In contrast to Jane's previous yoga experiences, none of the positions were particularly challenging (there was only so much twisting and inverting anyone could do at eight months pregnant), but each one involved some sort of touching and cooperation with Maura. It was both relaxing and sensual.
At Jane's request, they went back to bed after the class. Maura lay on her front, both arms under her cheek. Her face was toward Jane but her eyes were closed. Her braid fell across her neck.
Jane was beside her on her side, head propped up by an elbow, watching Maura's ribcage expand and contract. She tugged the sheet down to Maura's waist, then a bit farther. Fingers curled, her knuckles grazed Maura's contours. "You have the perfect ass."
Maura laughed silently, but did not open her eyes. "You do, too."
Jane continued grazing. "No, mine is just there. Yours is perfect. How do you do that?"
Maura made this noise that was either a sigh or a moan, but either way Jane couldn't wait to hear it again. "Fencing, running, squats, yoga." Her voice was sultry, relaxed. "The gluteals are versatile muscles."
"That was a rhetorical question, but thank you, Doctor."
"You're welcome."
Jane's knuckles nestled one last time in the valley where buttock met thigh, then her palm spread and gripped as she grunted with pleasure. "How did I not know I was into you?" Her fingers pressed in possessively. "Damn. I remember watching this ass." She glanced toward Maura's eyes, now open and smiling. "A lot." Her palm continued its caresses.
Maura just wagged her eyebrows.
Jane gasped. "You knew?"
"I noticed once or twice."
"Damn, and I thought I was being so discreet."
"I didn't mind."
Jane sat up, dissatisfied with the limitation of using just one hand to fondle Maura. "No, you liked it, didn't you?" She straddled Maura's legs, kneeling, careful to put most of her weight on her own knees and shins.
The noise that came from Maura's throat this time was definitely a moan. Her eyes had closed again.
"I think you enjoyed teasing me like that, you vixen," Jane joked. Her hands began to massage Maura's lower back, reaching as far up under her workout top as the built-in bra would allow. "Wearing tight skirts." Her thumbs pressed into the muscles next to Maura's spine. "High heels." The heels of her hands pressed into Maura's back now, her fingers coming around to grip Maura's waist. "That leather skirt with the slit up the back."
As Jane leaned forward to press between Maura's shoulder blades, her weight shifted, pressing Maura's pelvis down into the mattress. Another moan escaped and Jane halted abruptly, suddenly realizing what she was doing, and the effect she was having on Maura. Tease. Her own word echoed back to her and she pulled her hands away guiltily. Maura didn't seem to notice her withdrawal. She explained simply and lazily, "Desperate times."
Solemnly, Jane asked, "Were you? Desperate?" She shifted to the side, intending to dismount, but Maura turned over onto her back and held Jane in place. Jane's eyes were downcast, focused on where Maura's hand rested on her thigh.
Maura squeezed gently. "I'm not anymore."
Jane swallowed and looked up, making eye contact. She whispered, "What are you now?"
Maura smoothed her hands over Jane's belly and around to her back, sighed, and smiled. "Content." Jane didn't seem mollified, so she elaborated. "Moments like this, with you. I want them to last forever."
Finally, tentatively, Jane smiled. She leaned forward, intending to kiss the upturned corner of Maura's mouth, but her belly got in the way. Her smile faltered and she sat back up. Instead, she put two fingers to her lips, kissed them, and touched them to Maura's lips. It wasn't nearly as good as the real thing.
Jane was torn. She wanted so badly to give Maura everything she wanted, everything she deserved. She knew it wasn't fair to do this, to be flirtatious and enamored one day, then detached and frigid the next. Maura didn't deserve to be held at arm's length. When I have my body back, Jane promised herself. I'll be ready by then.
Maura saw the twinge of sadness in Jane's eyes and leaned forward, kissing Echo, then struggled to sit up. Threading her fingers behind Jane's neck, she pulled her love forward for a real kiss. "I'm happy, Jane. I wouldn't change a thing."