Prompt: Samwise Gamgee - "But in the end it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why." - 'The Lord of the Rings'
I picked up the last piece of my attire, the black bow tie, and headed for the mirror on the wall. As I walked across the room, my eyes fell on my wedding picture in which Kathleen stared back at me with her bright smile. The day I lost her seemed like the day that a shadow fell over my life. The things that I enjoyed so much just didn't seem to matter as much anymore. The only thing that had mattered was Kurt, our boy who was a testament to the love that Kathleen and I had shared and that seemed to be enough.
And then I had gotten to know Carole and I realized how much was missing in our lives. Seeing her with Finn, showed me how much I was failing to provide for Kurt.
Yes, I did the basics. I kept him clothed, fed and a roof over our heads but there was so much more that he was missing out on. I had never been good at talking about emotions and personal topics. How the day went, sports and weather were the topics I was comfortable with. Sticking to those topics though hadn't really allowed me to get to know the person Kurt was becoming. I had come to realize how much Kurt kept to himself in an effort to protect me. How much adult responsibility that he had managed to shoulder at a young age.
I couldn't change that. I couldn't give him back the years of childhood that life had robbed him of. What I could do though was to make an effort to engage in those difficult discussions that would allow him to see how much I loved him. To get to really know my son. To let him know that I was there for him no matter what, and that it wasn't his job to shield me from things. To allow him to enjoy the next couple of years of being a kid before he really did need to shoulder adult responsibilities.
Carole would help me do that. She was already helping me on some of the points, and her being in Kurt's life would be beneficial to him as well as me.
Taking my eyes from the picture, I gazed into the mirror. I was just about ready to take this next step. All I had to do was get this stupid piece of cloth tied correctly and I honestly wasn't sure how I was going to accomplish it. Perhaps I should have gone with a clip on.