December 17, 2013

She'd woken in Hotch's bed.

It's not a unique experience considering her last couple of days and yet it's simultaneously entirely new. As she wanders through a Virginia tree farm, she reflects on the warmth and domesticity of the morning. Honestly, the ease with which she fits into Hotch's life, Jack's life, is getting a little scary. Beyond her initial confusion – she honestly couldn't remember how she'd ended up at the Hotchner apartment – everything had been entirely seamless.

"Emily?"

Right. Christmas trees. They're hunting for Christmas trees. The perfect Christmas tree, to be precise.

Well, actually, they've found said perfect tree. The place is a nice family-run establishment and absolutely massive. So massive, in fact, that they'd been forced to attach their tree to a horse-drawn trailer because she and Hotch had argued over who would be responsible for dragging it back to the entrance. They hadn't argued about splitting up once they'd made it back to the beginning though. So she and Jack wait patiently – the line to have their tree wrapped had been utterly massive – around a bonfire with hot cider.

"Emily, did you have a star on your tree?"

It takes Emily a moment to compute what Jack is asking. The way her brain's been so foggy all day is starting to actually piss her off. "I had an angel."

Well, not entirely true, but she'd been young when they'd switched. It's the angel she remembers most.

Jack kicks his heavy boots against the log beneath him. Oh. Something's wrong. She's been so caught up in her own head that it seems she'd missed it entirely.

"Why do you ask, Buddy?"

"We have a star," Jack says, his feet still kicking.

There's something wrong with that. Now that she's focused on Jack and not the strange domesticity of the morning she can see it, clear as day.

"My friend Hannah as an angel," he says. "It's pretty."

Emily hums her agreement. "Angels usually are."

"Like Mommy."

Oh.

There's the lightbulb. Now she knows what's going on, or at least the reasoning behind whatever's got the youngest Hotchner bent out of shape.

"Honey, do you want an angel on your tree?"

Jack says nothing, just continues kicking his feet, but Emily's spent enough time with the kid now that she can see all the tells. He's chewing on his cheek, he can't sit still and his two-handed, white-knuckled grip on his Styrofoam cup is a dead giveaway. So, she waits.

"I miss Mommy," he says softly almost too quiet for her to hear. Her hand moves to his back automatically, her first instinct, of course, to comfort.

"That's normal," she promises. "I miss my dad every day."

"Your dad lives with the angels?" Jack asks, a little awed.

"He does. I wasn't much older than you when he died," she confides.

Jack's silent for another moment, processing, before he asks. "Is that why you had an angel on your tree?"

Oh God. Her throat clenches. "I hadn't thought about it like that," she lies.

Jack looks away, then back. "I want an angel, Emily. That way Mommy can have Christmas with us."

"Oh honey," she breathes and sets aside her cider to pull him into her arms. He allows it for a few moments then pulls away to look up at her.

"You have to keep it a secret," Jack tells him solemnly, a serious face like his father's. "You can't tell Daddy."

"If you tell your dad you want an angel-"

"No!" Jack exclaims. "You can't. It'll make him sad. He can't be sad at Christmas."

"Jack-"

But the kid is already shaking his head. "Promise, Emily."

God, it's a dilemma.

"Promise."

"I promise," she finally agrees.

Because she has an idea. A good idea. A great idea.

Even if it means she has to bite the bullet and call her mother.

Anything for Jack.

I go back and forth over Em's dad. Sometimes, my headcanon says he and Elizabeth are together and have a happy functioning marriage and Emily's absolutely adored. Other times, her parents or divorce and sometimes, her dad's not around at all. I honestly have not decided on a single headcanon to accept.

Anyway! I promised I'd finish, didn't I? I have most of 18 written now that we're back in the actual routine of normal life. I'm hoping that means generally more consistent updates because, you know, that'll be awesome. But there's every possibility that I just jinxed it.

Regardless, your support is priceless. Thank you.