December 22, 2013

If there's one thing JJ's learned from the last decade of her life, it's the importance of family. Will and Henry, of course, but also the family outside of her gorgeous little townhouse. And JJ worries about every single one of them.

She worries about Reid because there's still an innocence and naiveté about him; Morgan because he's so bloody reckless; Rossi – especially after Strauss – because he keeps so much to himself, untouchable and isolated; Hotch because even with Jack the man most definitely works way too much; Blake because she's new and despite the fact that JJ likes her and likes the way she fits, there's still a tiny traitorous part of her that sees Alex as Emily's replacement; and Penelope because sometimes JJ worries the woman wears her heart too obviously on her sleeve.

And then, of course, there's Emily.

Emily is a different layer of worry. JJ worries about her very best friend differently than she does the rest of them. They're equal, is the thing, both capable of doing so much, so it's not that JJ necessarily worries about Emily's abilities. It's more than that. At first, it had just been Doyle, of course. JJ isn't really the type to want her friends dead, and certainly not due to a mission that had very shady parts. Then, with her 'death', JJ had spent months worrying about Emily's recovery and how she'd been getting on in Paris. Of course, that had been overtaken by worries about team cohesion and Emily readjusting to life above ground. When Emily's attitude had turned skittish and uncomfortable, JJ had worried again. Then of course, her move to London and the changes of Interpol…

It's not that JJ's a worrywart. She just cares, deeply. It's not debilitating and it doesn't take over her life or keep her from enjoying her days. They're just little itches in the back of her mind. But she does know that there's something, once again, up with Emily.

They're shopping, last minute gifts, and it's chaos, but JJ's pretty sure that it isn't the chaos that's got Emily acting a little off.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Her best friend tires to play it off, kind of. She tries to look surprised, tries to look like JJ's insane, but it's just kind of screws her face up because JJ can see it all in her eyes. They've spent too much time together in ways that have challenged them both for Emily to really play at pretend. So, JJ just rolls her eyes. Emily's go wide, and it's her tell. Subtle, but there and JJ huffs a breath.

"There's something bothering you. I'm asking if you want to talk about it."

It takes a moment, not that it surprises JJ at all. Emily's a private person by nature, always has been and will be, but JJ's patient. And used to it.

"I'm thinking about moving back to the States."

JJ's gut reaction is, admittedly, negative. With everything Emily went through in the US and the infinitely more relaxed nature of her best friend, JJ's honestly not sure it's the best idea.

"You don't think it's a good idea."

JJ huffs. "I don't think it's a bad idea."

Because she'd never actually say she didn't want her very best friend within logical travel distance. To say so would have been an outright lie.

Emily's arched eyebrow is the only indication that she'd like more information.

"You weren't happy here."

Both women know Emily cannot argue with that. It hadn't felt like home. It had been a fight, every day, to push herself. Sometimes, JJ had been pretty sure Emily had been having more bad days than good days.

"You're happy now."

Emily shrugs. "I'm happier."

"Of course you are," JJ replies on a bit of a laugh. "You run an Interpol office. It's one step away from ruling the world."

That makes Emily laugh, bright and unforced. "It is awesome."

"Of course it is!"

"And London's beautiful."

"It's London."

"The accents," Emily gushes. "Every day."

"I'm jealous."

They laugh together again.

"But it's not here," Emily says when they've calmed.

"Of course not."

"You guys aren't there."

JJ chews her lip for a moment. "All of us?"

She can see the way Emily wants to roll her eyes but the validity of the question stands.

"It's not just Hotch," Emily says quietly. "You guys are my family."

"You've lived away from your family for most of your life," JJ points out.

"My mother? Wouldn't you?" When JJ just shrugs, Emily says, "It doesn't count. The last time I felt at home was when I was here, with you guys."

"But that changed."

Emily doesn't have to acknowledge the truthfulness of JJ's statement.

"Are you convinced it's going to change back?"

"I'm convinced that something's changed while I've been away. There's something missing. I love my job, it's wonderful; my flat is beautiful, but the BAU taught me that's not enough."

"You built a family here," JJ points out.

Emily sighs. "I don't want another one."

JJ chuckles. "You sound like Henry at bedtime."

"I just- It feels good to be back. It feels right. And yes, in part because of Hotch. Because that feels right too."

"It was a long time coming," JJ acknowledges.

Emily's smile is strangely shy, but happier than JJ had seen when Emily's by herself. It's a beautiful thing.

"I want you to think it through," the blond says softly. "You have a phenomenal job, you finally looked settled and relaxed. The people are just a piece, and what happens if you move back and it's not everything you'd dreamed of? Easter isn't just going to hand you the Interpol office again. You grabbed onto an opportunity of a lifetime-"

"Only to walk away back to so many unknowns," Emily acknowledges.

"And I don't want to see you turn around in a month, regretting it because the US still doesn't feel like home," JJ agrees.

Emily huffs. "I haven't made a decision. I'm- I'm thinking about it."

She sounds defensive and JJ reaches out. "Hey. Em, hey." She waits for Emily to look at her. "If you think coming back, moving back to the States, is what's best for you, we will welcome you back with open arms, no questions asked."

Emily blows out a breath like she's composing herself. Then she says. "London is not home."

"The US may not be either," JJ points out.

"Where else?" Emily replies. "Certainly not… Bolivia."

"No," JJ agrees. "Or Afghanistan."

"Definitely not," Emily says.

Sensing they'd come to the end of the conversation, JJ grins. "So, shopping?"

Emily laughs. "Yeah."

This took longer for three major reasons: 1) It turns out I really didn't like the way I'd originally written the chapter. Which meant re-writing it. Because I refuse to post something I hate; 2) Family emergency which wiped my weekend out completely; 3) Real life. I have a meeting today and had to do a whole bunch of prep work yesterday. Pain in my butt, a bit.

Regardless, hope you enjoyed! I do love writing their friendship and it makes me giggle a little given how much of it we got in 200.