Published July 28, 2009
Chapter Five: The End of Tallon IV
Samus dragged the last Chozo Artifact to the Artifact Temple. Despite being seemingly holographic, it was rather heavy resulting in her dragging it across the ground behind her. She entered the temple and a portal opened in the middle. "Okay, time to destroy the core of this Phazon."
Meta Ridley roared and approached through the sky. "REMATCH BITCH!" he screamed before unleashing his bombs as he flew over, breaking the portal.
"BRING IT ON!" Samus hefted up the Artifact and threw it at Ridley. It hit his left wing and caused him to crash to the ground. Ridley rose, grabbing his aching wing.
"Holy shit this is heavy!"
"That's my TWELFTH."
Ridley laughed loudly before firing a barrage of missiles from launchers on his chest. Samus began to pump him full of plasma.
"How the hell did those birdies harness plasma into a weapon anyway?" Ridley asked as they fought.
"It was pretty cool, one made a container," Samus explained as she launched a Super Missile at him. "The container could superheat the plasma at a moment's notice and it would fire out the barrel."
"Interesting," Ridley said as he ducked under the temple and out of her sight. He came up on the other side and shot a beam which knocked Samus back. "Did they do the same to liquid nitrogen for ice?"
"Kind of, this one's more of spring loaded through. Pretty funny incidents in early development from what I've heard." She used Morph Ball boost to avoid another bombing run.
"Is it weird that we have friendly conversations while trying to kill each other with missiles and plasma?" Ridley wondered as he landed on the ground and swung his tail at Samus in a circular motion.
"Incredibly, makes me wonder why we're enemies," Samus answered as Ridley jumped off the ground and nosedived off the cliff.
"I believe I tore off your father's head and slurped his insides like a straw, and strangled your mother with her own spine before wearing the brain like a hat," Ridley told her.
"I thought it was the other way around," Samus muttered. "Doesn't matter, that's the past, we need a new reason."
"I would've though the parent grudge would be larger…" Ridley told her as he evaded the plasma.
"Mom was a bitch anyway." Ridley landed on top of her and kicked Samus across the arena. "Okay, now I have something to hate you for!" She began bombarding him with Super Missiles.
Ridley fell as his suit discharged electricity from the damaged points, frying his wings. "WHAT THE HELL?! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THE SLAUGHTER OF YOUR PARENTS, YET KICKING CROSSES THE LINE?!" Samus nodded happily, and Ridley shook his head before ramming her into the wall.
Samus was being held against the wall by Ridley's hand, kicking him in the thumb. "Stop that."
"Only if you put me down and let me kick your ass!" She started to kick with two feet and Ridley's neck twitched. He really didn't like people kicking him. Samus began to kick him one foot at a time, each hitting in quick succession. He growled as his head caught fire.
-A few minutes later-
"So it's agreed: I let you go, turn around, bend over, and you get to kick me ONCE in the ass. In exchange you will not kick me in any other way. Is that good?"
"We have a deal." They shook hands. Ridley let Samus go, turned around and bent over. Samus walked up and was about to kick when Ridley knocked her over with his tail. She fell to the side and Ridley pinned her whole body down with both of his hands.
"The tables have turned, haven't they Aran?" Ridley hissed.
"Not really, this is nearly the exact same as-"
"SHUT UP!" Ridley gave her a blast of plasma to the helmet. "Now it's time to get my revenge for what you did to me underneath the surface of Zebes. Space Dragons do not stand for that kind of humiliation!"
"You mean when I let you grab me, stuck my cannon in your throat and began to fill your gut with missiles before letting you drown in your own blood?" Samus asked. Ridley's neck twitched again, a spark jumping off his head.
"It would be wise to close your mouth before I tear it off."
"Good luck finding out how to take off this helmet, took me three days on my first try," Samus said. "I was starving by the end."
"That's it!" Ridley brought his tail up and wrapped it around Samus' head. "Off comes the jaw!" He began to pull but found that he got no results from this. Ridley brought himself in closer. "Maybe there's a switch somewhere…" He began to tinker with the helmet, using his tail to mess around with the area.
"So how's that going for ya Rids?" Samus asked. Ridley snarled before continuing his hunt for a means of taking off her helmet. After about ten minutes of trying he smashed his tail off the ground hard enough to make an indent.
"WHO THE HELL MADE THIS?!" Ridley screamed, neck twitching violently. He took a deep breath to calm himself. "Okay, there has to be an easy way to do this."
-A half hour later-
The scientist shook his head. "I'm sorry General, but neither me, my team, the mechanics, Mother Brain, or pirate High Command can find a way to remove this helmet. It's just impossible without former knowledge on the suit," he said. Ridley sighed, shaking his sore limbs. The squads began to leave the temple, rolling out Mother Brain's camera and escorting the High Command out.
"You could ask nicely," Samus pointed out.
"You're just doing this to piss me off more, aren't you?"
"It's working, is it not?"
"Not it is. Well, how do I take it off?"
"Say pretty please."
"…"
"Come on!"
"This is so demeaning. Tell me, pretty please?"
"Say pretty please with a cherry on top."
"What are you, 6?"
"You aren't going to be getting the helmet off without saying it." Ridley groaned. You may wonder why he doesn't just tear her in half. There's a rather simple answer: he's obsessed over tearing her jaw off and is very narrow minded at the moment.
"P-"
"WAIT!" Ridley heard a click. "Okay, now you can go."
"Are you recording that?"
"And uploading it on the Internet at the same time! Ridley, fearsome pirate general, asking such a demeaning question!"
Ridley's neck twitched again and a small flame erupted on his head, but he ignored it. "Will you take off your helmet, pretty please with a cherry on top?" Ridley growled out.
"Thank you." The helmet suddenly disappeared out of reality. "Surprise!" Samus exclaimed before horking a big chunk up and spitting it in his eye. Ridley roared and staggered backwards due to his eye stinging wildly. Samus charged up a shot and suddenly a flamethrower began to fry the armour gap on his chest. Ridley fell backwards and over the edge of the Artifact Temple, holding on with a single hand and one eye closed.
"That was a dirty, very gross trick!" he snarled to the smiling bounty hunter.
"If you think that was mean…" Samus held up one of the artifacts. "…then what's this?" She dropped it on his hand, breaking all the bones through his armour and causing the dragon to fall into the Impact Crater. Samus, very proud of herself, put the helmet back on and stared at the battle scarred temple ground. "Now what the hell am I supposed to do?"
Some Chozo Ghosts appear. "Greetings, we are-" It dodged a shot of plasma. "ON YOUR SIDE! WE ARE ON YOUR SIDE!"
Ridley crashed into the bottom of the pit, his body aching greatly. "Bitch," was all that he could cough up. The dragon staggered to his feet and looked where he landed, finding that he was on a single rock surrounded by lethal orange Phazon. "Well that was lucky of me."
Ridley somehow crossed the dangerous sea of Phazon and saw some Fission Metroids floating around. "Stupid creatures…" The Metroids did not seem to like this and all latched onto him. They couldn't suck through his plating though and Ridley decided to awkwardly continue with them on.
After about ten minutes of adventuring with his new friends Ridley began to hear noises of battle. It sounded like an arm cannon shooting at some kind of multi-legged shelled mutant, just a hunch though.
-The final battle-
Samus switched her arm cannon to the wave beam as Prime altered its shielding. It then closed its openings and charged her, only for Samus to maneuver through with the Morph Ball. Metroid Prime was getting annoyed at the lack of success.
"A bit of advice," Samus began, "if you have such a huge mouth I'd attack with it, that thing could take a chunk out of Kraid!"
"Don't say Kraid," Prime snapped. "That man has caused me some traumatic experiences in my captivity."
Samus stopped firing momentarily. "I think we've found some even ground; both of us hate Kraid," she realized.
Prime also stopped attacking. "That we do, that we do." They both stood still for a moment before going back to attacking each other.
Ridley walked into a tall room full of Phazon and more Fission Metroids. They also latched onto him but the space dragon ignored them. He spread his wings and jumped into the air, forgetting how they were non-existent and fell flat on his face. "Time to rethink this." He looked at all the Metroids in the area before grabbing some in his hands and holding them into the air. "Make me fly!" he roared.
Not wanting to incur the beast's wrath the Metroids began to rise into the air and tried to bring Ridley with them. "We need more!" one Metroid clicked to the other. The Metroids began to split into two and managed to pull Ridley a few metres off the ground. "Progress!"
Metroid Prime fell to the bottom of the pit it had gone into to get away from Samus. This had given it enough time to shed its exoskeleton and prepare a plan for Samus' arrival. Once the hunter landed on the ground it rose into the air, tentacles lashing wildly. "This is the end!" Prime smashed its energy tentacles together, the power collision creating a fiery shockwave. Samus hopped over it. "That's a nice move, but can you do it again?!" It created another wall of fire but Samus evaded that too.
"Yes, and any other amount of times as well. It's a simple trick involving bending my legs and releasing, throwing myself into the air. We call it jumping."
"Bah, your jumping can only get you so far!" Metroid Prime unleashed another wave of fire that was dodged in the same way.
After some effort Ridley had made no progress whatsoever. He sighed and put the Metroids back before the room began to shake. His radio turned on with Jikarvl on the other end. "Sir, we've detected a large explosion in the Impact Crater, any idea what it is?"
"I have a theory…"
"The place is getting unstable, but that explosion should not have been enough to make the whole place like that, what is going on?!"
-Elsewhere-
Kraid, standing on the Artifact Temple, picked up a large explosive. "Let's see how long you take to go boom!" He dropped it down the cliff and held his ear as close as he could. About fifteen seconds later a large explosion shook the area and debris launched into the sky.
He grabbed another. "You're a bit bigger, let's do you too!"
-Impact Crater-
Samus finally made it out of the holes Prime had created and back to the main chamber where a lot of panicking Metroid flew around. She jumped off and ran toward the door, only to stop. "Ridley? You're supposed to be dead!"
"Do I look dead to you?" Ridley asked.
"Why are you covered in Fission Metroids…?"
"Well you made me fall off the temple and I landed-" An explosion made a large part of the roof land beside them. "Long story short it's none of your business." He Sparta kicked her across the room. "And now I get some more payback."
Samus stood up. "You sure? I didn't use any Super Missiles on Metroid Prime, so guess who I can use them on…"
Ridley raised his arms. "Attack my children!" The Metroids all unlatched and charged at Samus. "Feast!" Unable to freeze them, Samus began an intense battle.
"Sir, you have like twenty seconds," Jikarvl told him.
"Shit! RETURN MY FRIENDS, WE MUST ESCAPE!" The Metroids returned to his body and Ridley bolted out of there to the exit.
"Wait up!" Samus went into her Morph Ball and boosted out his door. Both easily reached the teleporter. Samus went through first and Ridley easily followed, finding himself in the Artifact Temple. "Catch!" He turned to have an Artifact knock him off the temple again.
"What a douche," Samus said before hopping on her ship and flying off.