Ha, once again I have more characters added to a category! Upon noticing that every character in the Metroid section was from Other fucking M, a game that almost destroyed me as a person, I quickly had other characters added. During some quick research I learned that Dane's first name is Castor. Gonna have to incorporate that into something later.

This also means that I had to decide on main characters. This was extremely easy as Ridley and Kraid both get the most screen time.

Published December 7, 2010

The Seed

"RIDLEY! COME QUICK!"

The space dragon trudged across the homeworld complex, ignoring the acid rain as it batted at his shields. He soon entered the room that the cry originated from. "I remember once telling you never to talk to me again."

"Look at what Phillip can do!" Chykka sucked a large vat of Phazon into its tail. Its skin turned purple and its tail swelled from the liquid. It then spewed the Phazon back into its container, returning to normal. "Isn't it so cool?" Kraid ecstatically asked, practically jumping up and down in joy.

"That was disgusting," Ridley grunted. "Now I want you to stop calling me and let me get some damn sleep! Doesn't that monstrosity need sleep too?"

"Nah, I don't think so. He's one of those things that stays up during the night, and does the opposite of staying up when the sun's awake. What was that word again?"

"I hate you."

"I thought that was what your dad was named... Man, your dad's parents must not have had much of a creativity if they named him that." Ridley just walked away, not saying another word. "Okay Phillip, now let's do the same thing with ketchup!"

Chykka, not knowing what the hell he was talking about, was all too eager to do so.

Ridley found himself intercepted on his return trip by a being who could almost give Kraid a run for his money on the space dragon's most hated list: Draygon. "What do you want?"

"You're always so uptight," his fellow pirate commented. "What if I just wanted to see how your dented ass is doing?"

"My dented ass is as dented as it was yesterday," Ridley snapped. "Small talk isn't your thing. You're more interested in when someone's going to die so your midget offspring can eat their corpse."

"That's true. Since you're being grumpy I'll get to the point. We lost contact with the ship that was returning from Aether. It's still in range of our sensors but won't communicate with us."

"And this affects me how?"

"You're responsible for that ship and it's currently an unknown. You know that the other high commanders hate unknowns."

Ridley rolled his eyes. "Let me guess: I was 'volunteered' to go make sure that it arrives in one piece because it's my operation."

Draygon's scaly lips curled into a smile. "Exactly. You're a quick learner, aren't you?"

After spending so long with Kraid, Draygon wasn't nearly as hard to deal with. That was the one thing for which he could thank the lizard. "How long until it arrives?"

"Twelve hours, but we'd expect-"

"That's enough time for some sleep. Goodnight." He walked past the floating crayfish, intent on getting some shuteye.

-The next morning-

Ridley was rudely awoken by a knock on the door to his quarters. The door opened and, without opening his eyes, he said, "You have thirty seconds to tell me why you're here, starting now."

Jikarvl cleared his throat. "I am to inform you that, as of twenty minutes ago, the ship you were supposed to check out completely disappeared from our radars."

"Hm? Ship?" Ridley sat up, cracking his bones. "Ah yes, that ship. Wait, what do you mean 'disappeared?"

"Disappeared. Gone. Absent. Missing. Astray. Vanished into thin air. I could say as many synonyms as there are seconds in an hour."

"Do me a favour and don't. Find the last known coordinate of the ship and scan for any abnormalities in the area. Have everything ready when I arrive in thirty minutes." This was not going to be a fun day.

-A few minutes later-

The first thing Ridley saw when he left his residence was Kraid's goofy grin. "HAI RIDLEY!"

"Do you even have a job here anymore?"

"DUNNO! I heard you were feeling sad so I got Olvar and Phillip to help me dance to make you better."

"That's unnecessary." Ridley pushed by him, stalking down the hallway toward an opening ahead. From there he could fly away from what would likely be a very annoying and awkward situation.

He almost fell flat on his face when Kraid grabbed his tail, pulling him back. "C'mon Ridley! We chlorined it for days! Pleeeeeeaaaaase?"

"Release me at once!" the space dragon indignantly roared, struggling against Kraid's grip. With every second, he was more and more tempted to bite his own tail off.

-One horrific dance routine later-

"That was horrendous," Ridley snapped. To the uneducated, humouring Kraid would seem like a good idea as they would get out of there much more quickly than if they got into an argument with him. However, saying 'that was wonderful' only encouraged him to do things like this more often. Ridley couldn't handle that, he never would. "I'm leaving now."

Kraid went into a thinking pose. "Ya, it was a bit scary in some parts."

"That's not..." Deciding that enough was enough, Ridley left.

Kraid didn't seem to notice. Instead, he turned to his two dance partners. "I think we did a very great dance! LET'S GO FISHING!"

Chykka buzzed at the thought of eating fish.

"I'll pass," Crocomire said. "I have a report I need to-"

"YAY!" Kraid grabbed them both by the waist and ran toward the fish filled lake that he thought existed.

Upon arriving at the Relay Station, Ridley was greeted by a familiar face. "I'm glad I'm tired because you're a bit blurry, and that's going to save me years of shock therapy in the long run."

"It's a miracle that you can see anything in your old age," Draygon countered. "You've already had a hip replacement."

"Believe me when I say it's increased my performance tenfold. Now I can fuck you in the eye socket with even more intensity after I've kicked your ass." He turned to the rest of the pirates present. "I was status updates, now!"

Jikarvl swerved around in his seat. "We searched for abnormalities and found traces of a wormhole's presence. However, it's too faint at this point to locate its destination. It could be on the other side of the universe."

"Send a ship to collect the remnant particles. If anything from the other side, even some dust, came through to here we'll be able to find it."

Ridley was left with three hours to kill while his orders were carried out. The rest of High Command could wait until he learned more. Until then, he needed something to do. Crocomire was with Kraid and Phantoon was on Zebes meaning there was one other person who he could have a good conversation with.

"RIDLEY, MACADADA WON KIN WON."

"I have time to kill while I wait for a recovery team to do some stuff," Ridley told the console Mother Brain was inside. "Is there any progress on the new body?"

"MINO GALVE JOEINSININ LAM. MADA MODO."

"That's good. Has Kraid found you yet?"

"ORSON DINNOG WAN."

Ridley snorted in amusement. "Let's hope it stays that way for a while."

-One month later-

It had been one month since they lost track of that ship and three months since leaving Aether. At the wormhole's location had been many Phazon particles, more than anywhere they had been so far, meaning wherever it was that the ship had gone was much more rich with the radioactive substance.

"RIDLEY!"

The space dragon recoiled as Kraid's static filled voice boomed through his headset. "Kraid, don't scream if you're eating the mic!"

"Ridley, something went really really bad!"

He sighed. "What happened?"

"Me and Phillip and Olvar were fishing-" Ridley was already confused. There weren't any fish on their planet, only birds and reptiles. "-and a huge rock fell onto Olvar!"

"Is he hurt?"

"I'm okay!" a faint voice from the background called.

"I think he's dead!"

Instead of responding Ridley answered the other call he was receiving. "This is Ridley."

"Hello Ridley." Draygon. Lovely. "You probably don't know yet but something very large is approaching the planet. We're calling a meeting to determine what to do with it."

"Blast it or let it land," Ridley grunted. "I don't see what's so special about this."

"I thought you'd say something like that," Draygon said, laughing to himself. "We've found some special qualities about this giant rock."

"Oh, it's a giant rock? Then by all means, let it land. I can see why we wouldn't want giant rocks crashing into our world. It's so helpful after all." Ridley was beginning to question Draygon's intelligence.

"As short sighted as ever, aren't you? This rock is generating as much Phazon readings as the Impact Crater on Tallon IV. We think that this is the same as whatever struck that planet. The other commanders agree that we should direct it and let it hit so we have an unlimited source of Phazon."

"I thought you said we were having a meeting, not that we already had it without me."

"There was some pre-meeting talk before I got through to you." He really hated Kraid. "The point is that we all seem to want to let it land."

Ridley's neck twitched. "This has to be one of the stupidest plans I've ever heard. You do know that Tallon IV was devastated by the Phazon and all sentient beings went insane, right? There was a very detailed report on our scans."

His question was met with another laugh. "You can't seriously be comparing us to those pathetic Chozo. We're far more advanced and prepared for such things."

"You're a floating crayfish. You're as basic as they come."

"I meant technologically!"

"Well I mean that you've got the genetic defences on par with Kraid's hand-eye coordination and- Why am I arguing? Let the damn thing crash and kill you."

"RIDLEY!"

"Oh god..."

Kraid stormed down the hallway, holding Crocomire tightly to his chest. Crocomire looked very annoyed at being held against the giant spikes that protruded from Kraid's front. "I did what you said. Now what?"

Ridley blinked several times as he attempted to recall what he had said to Kraid earlier. "I didn't tell you to do anything."

"Noooo, you told me to throw peoples at him."

"F-"

The ground shook, staggering even Kraid. "What the hell was that?"

His radio flared to life. "Heh heh, well," Draygon began, sounding much more nervous than before, "it seems that it was coming faster than we expected and crashed at half the speed of light."

"How the hell do you not notice that something is moving that quickly?" Ridley shrieked as he tried to stay standing. "Our scanners show speed you fucking idiot!"