Blurry vision soon focused as Gilbert realized where he finally was. The bright lights of the room made him squint momentarily, but he definitely knew where he was. "Son of a bitch," he thought aloud, "I'm not dead." Suddenly, the sound of knocking on the door filled the small room as Gilbert's eyes had gotten acclimated to the brightness. "Yes?" he replied languorously.
The door squeaked open and a female doctor filled the doorway. "Gilbert?" she asked, "Gilbert Beilschmidt?"
"Present and accounted for, ma'am." He answered quietly. She entered the room and closed the door behind her.
"So, um," she began nervously as if she was an intern, "I don't know how to ask this, but you attempted suicide, correct?"
Why was that such a difficult question, Gilbert thought, "Yeah, sure did." She then sat down at the foot of his bed and as soon as she did he began to cough heavily. When the coughing concluded, he noticed black grime on his left hand. "What the hell is this shit?" he asked as if no one else was in the room.
"Oh, that's the left over charcoal being excreted from your body, Gilbert."
He did a double take, "W-wait a minute, did you say charcoal?"
"I'm afraid so, you did overdose on ibuprofen and we had no other way of saving you."
"Why didn't you just let me die?"
The room had gotten unobtrusive. The doctor seemed as if she could not find the words to express her thoughts. "Well….," she began soberly, "I don't want to lose another patient. It wo-"
Gilbert cut her off, "What? Make your record look bad? You don't actually care, doyou?"
The doctor had gotten slightly irate, "I do care; in fact, that's what I was going to express before you jumped to such an foolish conclusion!" He responded with silence. Gilbert did not want to cause any more trouble than he already has. The doctor sighed, "Listen, this is very important to me, Gilbert. I've already had a patient that has gotten raped."
"Really?" Gilbert was intrigued, "Who?"
"Feliciano Vargas, but that's not important right now. Let's focus on you, dear."
Gilbert's jaw dropped, "F-Feli…..my little bro's best friend? No way," he shook his head and then covered his face with his hands, "No, no, no, no….."
She put her hand onto his lower leg, "You know him?"
His voice was muffled by his hands, "Y-yes. All too well, actually."
The doctor straightened her posture, "Well I guess I should tell you everything then. Your brother's friend was sent to Queenswood and sadly didn't survive a whole day. Hopefully you'll be more fortunate."
Gilbert was confused as he removed his hands from his face, "More….fortunate? "
"Yes, you'll be heading there today at three."
"Great," Gilbert threw up his hands, "I'm going to a loony bin."
She exhaled, "Don't view it like that, Gilbert. View it as a start to your recovery."
"I'll try."
"It was just….a dream…" Feliciano wheezed, "It was….just a….dream…." The sun that beamed through the window warmed his back as he sat on the floor with his bedding scattered across the room.
The door creaked open after two knocks, "Hello? Is everything okay in here?" It was a nurse; he looked about twenty-five years old. He looked down at Feliciano, "What're doing on the floor?" The nurse began to chuckle as he walked in the room. He then held out a hand to Feliciano, "Here, let me help you up." Feliciano took the nurse's hand and was now finally standing erect again. The nurse then went to the left to check out Feliciano's clipboard. "Well, looks like you're heading back to Queenswood in an hour! Lucky you…."
Yeah, Feliciano thought, real lucky. "So what should we do until then?" he asked the nurse.
"Well we could talk until I'm paged to do something, I guess."
"Pagers still exist?"
The nurse laughed, "They sure do!" He unclipped his to show Feliciano, "Nifty little things, aren't they?"
Feliciano sat back on his bed, "Heh, I guess so."
The nurse clipped the pager back onto his belt and sat next to Feliciano on the bed. "So…..Feliciano, is it?"
"Yeah, that's my name. How did you know?"
"Read it on your clipboard."
"Oh."
"Yeah…..I'm not good at small talk." The nurse snickered.
"Neither am I," Feliciano laughed.
The nurse's pager then buzzed and he had to leave, which left Feliciano alone once again. As the door shut behind the nurse as he exited the room, Feliciano tensed up. He didn't want to be alone anymore; he wanted to be home with his brother to talk about the good ol' days when their grandfather was still alive. Alone, he contemplated, with my thoughts…..God give me the strength.
The hour passed on like a snail dipped in molasses and Feliciano felt every minute tick away, every second pass by, and every millisecond vanish into the abyss of time. He did not even fathom to turn on the television. He just sat on his bed and thought about the dream he had the night before.
"Guess what day it is, Feli" Ludwig replied hauntingly as he walked up slowly to Feliciano.
"Um…?"
"I said guess what day it is, boy."
"Um….I don't know."
"It's the day you get out of here, faggot."
Feliciano was frightened; Ludwig had never talked to him like that, "Lud-Ludwig?"
Feliciano shook his head to snap out of the memory. It didn't happen, he thought, it didn't…happen.
The door then opened to the same nurse to inform him that the ambulance was here to take him back to Queenswood.
Gilbert was in slowly put in the ambulance. Once inside, the cabin was deathly quiet. He attempted small talk.
"So….how are you today?" he asked as politely as he could muster.
"Do not engage me in conversation," the lady sitting next to him replied venomously.
"Oh sorry, my mistake."
"If you say another word I'll put you to sleep."
Gilbert shut up immediately; mean bitch, he thought.
When he arrived at Queenswood, he went through the same procedure Feliciano did but with a few variations. Before Gilbert knew it, he was at Mod D and heading towards his room, four hundred nine.
He arrived at his room quickly since it was one of the first rooms on the right after you enter the module. He already had a roommate, a boy named Francis Bonnefoy. He had shoulder length blond, wavy hair and stubble on his chin and neck and looked of French origins. When he laughed he had the signature 'Oh hon, hon, hon' of a stereotypical Frenchman. Gilbert already knew who he was, however. They were best friends since grade school.
"They got you too, eh?" Gilbert asked facetiously.
"Antonio, too." Francis replied with his thick French accent.
"Son of a bitch, man; first Feliciano, now you and Tony?! What's this world coming to?"
"I dunno, and frankly I don't want to know. But anyway Gil, what brings you to a lovely establishment like this?"
"Tried to kill myself; you?"
"Flipped out on my grandparents; nearly killed one of them."
"Damn. What about Antonio? What did he do?"
"His parents just got tired of him cutting himself, so they sent him here."
Gilbert laughed cynically, "I guess birds of a feather flock together."
Francis laughed sullenly, "Apparently so."
"Feliciano is heading back here pretty soon. At least, that's what I heard."
Francis gasped, "Oh no, not my little Feli! He's too precious to be here!"
"Apparently not, according to what I've heard."
"Oh dear, what did he do?"
"He tried to kill my brother, but he only managed to mess up Ludwig's hand."
"My, my, I wonder what was going through his head."
"Me too; no one does that to my little brother without a reason. I might have to kick his ass."
"Violence is never the answer, Gil. You know that!"
"Says the boy whose ancestors fled from battle." Gilbert chuckled.
"Mon dieu…."
Feliciano arrived back at Queenswood around three thirty. When he entered the boy's day room everyone stopped to stare at him. Many new faces looked at the others in confusion, but eventually gawked at him as well.
"What?" Feliciano asked exasperatedly.
Everyone turned their heads back to each other and murmurs of 'Nothing' and 'I can't believe he's alive' filled the room. Angst filled Feliciano's core and he ran back to his room, four hundred two.
He came into the room and slammed the door behind him. Stuff here spreads fast, Feliciano thought as he still faced the closed door, too fast. He assumed he was alone so he sunk to the ground and instantly began to cry. "Why me….? Why did this have to happen to me?"
"Why would what had to happen to you?" a British accent called from the back of the room.
Feliciano turned around with tears running down his face, "What? Who?"
A boy with messy blond hair and thick eyebrows walked up to him. His emerald orbs stared into Feliciano's ochre ones. "Are you alright, sir?"
"Who…Who are you?" Feliciano stammered.
"Arthur, Arthur Kirkland. Nice to meet you," he held out a hand to pick Feliciano up. Feliciano accepted and was now standing upright.
"Uh….hey, I'm Feliciano. And, um, likewise."
Arthur wiped the tears from Feliciano's eyes with his thumb. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really," Feliciano replied as he strode past Arthur to sit on his bed on the right. The hospital bed was still ominously there on the left….
Arthur sat across from him on that sickening bed, "Come on, it mustn't be that bad!"
Feliciano turned the tables, "You first."
"Schizophrenia, apparently," Arthur sighed, "Honestly I just think they don't believe in fairies and dragons."
"Have you seen anything lately?"
"Not recently due to the medicine they put me on…..those bastards. Anyway, what's your issue?"
"Well," Feliciano reluctantly replied, "First I tried to kill my friend and then when I came here I got raped."
Arthur gasped, "I-I'm sorry to hear that."
"Join the club, kid," Feliciano said heatedly.
Arthur put his hands up, "Hey, getting angry about this isn't helping anyone."
Feliciano sighed, "I know. It's just pissing me off."
"How so?"
"I…I just can't believe I let it happen, you know?"
"It's not your fault, Feliciano. Rape is never the victim's fault."
"Argh, I hate that word!"
"What…word?"
"I'm not a victim! It makes me sound weak!" Feliciano threw a pillow at the nearby wall opposite of Arthur.
Arthur blinked, "What's wrong with being weak?"
"You wouldn't under-"
A nurse opened the door, "Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, but it's time for school." The two boys then headed out the room together in silence.
The term "school" meant going in a small classroom-like space and do work that was faxed from your current school or work they provided. Just like school, the desks were uncomfortable, the worksheets were boring, and everyone was annoying. Feliciano and Gilbert looked at each other hastily as they walked to the classroom together in a group with the other boys. They then sat next to each other in the small desks.
After moments of awkward silence Feliciano spoke to Gilbert, "So….um….What brings you to a charming place like this?"
"Suicide attempt." Gilbert replied sternly, "I should kill you for what you did to my brother."
Wow, Feliciano thought, quick to the point today, aren't we? "Sorry."
"But, you got raped and I don't think you need anything else on your plate right now."
Feliciano gave a sarcastic smile, "Thanks."
School went by slowly as Feliciano tapped his pencil on the desk while trying to figure out a geometry problem. Gilbert just doodled on his paper a picture of his friend Eliza with an arrow through her head. Wang, Ivan, Leon, Arthur, Matthew, Antonio, and Jett all worked on their assignments quietly. The room was almost silent with few whispers floating around here and there. Feliciano looked outside through the window. I don't want to be here, he thought, why did this have to happen?
Gilbert tapped him on the shoulder, "Hey, about earlier…Let's not have it affect our relationship, ok? Shit happens but we're good enough friends to stick it out, right?"
Feliciano remained inaudible.
Gilbert stammered, "R-Right?"
Feliciano shook his head to get out of his daze, "Oh, um, right. Sorry spaced out for a minute there."
Gilbert laughed, "I knew we could patch things up!"
Feliciano smiled and school ended on a cheerful note; next was free time until dinner. Feliciano was oddly called up to the main desk and handed a sticky note. "Your friend Ludwig wants to talk to you sweetie. I'd make the call now before the lines are filled up," a secretary said as she gave him the note.
Feliciano's eyes widened as he looked at the note that contained Ludwig's name and cellphone number. "I-I'm sorry? Are you sure that it's Ludwig?"
"Positive, dear."
Feliciano backed away slowly, "Oh….okay…." He then went to the open phone in the middle day room since the secretary watched him move every step of the way. He then punched the numbers in with shaky hands and held the phone up to his ear. The dial tone blared in his head and he began to sweat as his core filled with butterflies. Suddenly a voice came from the other end:
"Hello?" Yup, Feliciano thought, it's Ludwig, "Hello? Is anyone there?" The German said in his thick accent.
Feliciano began to tremble; he could not do this. Not now, not ever. He immediately hung up the phone and put his back against the wall and sunk to the floor. He could not control his substantial breathing. Feliciano then began to cry.