Chapter 8

When I returned home from work at the hospital Monday afternoon, I was startled to find that I was not alone in the house. There was the sound of breaking glass and muttering in the kitchen, and I crept along the wall and peered in.

Ray. But what was he doing here? He never gets home from work this early! He was taking plates from the cabinets and slamming them down on the floor, and I jumped at every crash, peering in with wide eyes.

"Hey!" he yelled, noticing me.

I jumped and stood frozen in the doorway, waiting to see what he would do. Glass was scattered on the kitchen floor, and I started to tremble.

"Why are you here!? Shouldn't you be at the hospital!?"

"I…I got off from work."

"Don't stutter! You sound like an imbecile!" His words were slurred.

I avoided his eyes and looked fearfully over my shoulder over at the front door.

He quickly strode over and stood in front of it, blocking my exit, a beer bottle in his hand.

"You always leave! Grow a backbone and stay for once. Come and chat with me."

He walked over to me and slung an arm over my shoulder, and I choked on the scent of his breath and recoiled.

"Don't you have to work?" I asked fearfully as I quickly pulled away from him. "Why are you here?"

His face twisted, and he shoved me backwards onto the couch. Slamming the beer down on the coffee table, he glared at me.

"You being smart, girl?"

I quickly shook my head. My heart began to race as I pieced together his reason for being home. I was terrified to ask, but I needed to know.

"Did you…lose your job?"

He glared, and then nodded calmly. My eyes widened.

What was I going to do!? Now that he had no job, he'd be home every day, and he wouldn't have to save his drinking for the weekends!

I avoided his eyes, and he reached out and grabbed the front of my scrubs, jerking me up from the couch.

"Don't act like that!" he yelled, slurring his words. "Like you're better than me because you can keep a job! You don't even really have a job! You're only an intern, not a real nurse! You'll never understand what it's like to work like me, with your bare hands and by the strength of your back!"

I stared wide-eyed at him.

"No, I wasn't-!"

He raised a hand and slapped me across the face. He released me and I fell to the ground in stunned shock and blinding pain. My cheek stung fiercely, and I gingerly reached up a hand to touch it, tears rising to my eyes.

He had never struck me before. I had been shoved and yanked and cursed at, but never slapped.

"Get up!" he bellowed. "Face me, you stupid girl!"

He reached for me, and I scrambled up and out of his grasp.

He came forward, forcing me against the wall, and stood up close to me as I pressed backwards.

"Let me tell you something, Julia! People these days don't recognize a hard worker when they see one! It's not fair that I'll have to scrounge up the money to stay alive while the rest of them get paychecks! I worked just as hard as the rest of them!"

He was raging against the company that had fired him, and as he spoke he grabbed me and shook me until I felt dizzy and sick. I grasped at his arms, unwilling to fall, but when he released me I slumped dizzily to the ground.

He stepped back and grabbed the bottle off the coffee table and took a drink, then threw it down in front of me. I quickly covered my face with my hands, and the flying glass sliced my arms.

I started to cry, my face buried in my hands.

"Stop crying! You're pathetic!" he yelled at me, and kicked at my feet as I pulled my knees to my chest.

"Leave me alone!" I sobbed.

"My own stepdaughter's giving me orders!?"

"I'm not your stepdaughter!"

He yanked me up by my hair and dragged me, screaming in agony, to the front door. He kicked it open and shoved me outside, and I grabbed at the banister to stop myself from collapsing down the stairs.

"If you're smart you'll get out of my sight right now!" he growled, slamming the door. I did as he said, jumping down the steps and racing into the woods, to my safe haven. I ran down the twisting path to a clearing in the center, where I collapsed onto the waiting bench.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head in my hands. I sobbed for a while as the shock and pain of the scene overwhelmed me. I trembled and wrapped my hands around my knees and leaned against the back of the bench until the tears had slowed and the gasping quieted. Maybe this was a one-time thing. Maybe after today he'd find a new job and return to work, and he would never hit me again. Maybe the slap today had just been a fluke. The circumstances were different than normal.

I released my knees and slowly let my feet down to the ground. I looked around me at the undisturbed, quiet clearing. I was hidden deep in the woods, sheltered by the ring of trees about me. The birds sang cheerfully and flew around above me, oblivious to my sobbing. I leaned back against the bench and watched the wildlife around me. I'll rest here awhile in my clearing, where I was safe.

As I sat, I began to worry about the days ahead, in which Ray would inevitably be drunk and angry. I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind, but how could I forget the stinging of my cheek or the blood on my arms?

I found myself longing for Piero, for his gentle touch and kind words. I raised a hand and gently touched my cheek. What would he say if he knew Ray had slapped me? He'd be angry, and upset, and he'd hold me and comfort me…

A hopeful feeling began to rise in my chest, and I tried to muffle it.

Piero won't find out Ray hit me. I won't tell him. He needn't worry about me. I'm sure he has enough to worry about without adding me to the list.

He already knew too much about Ray. I shouldn't tell him any more and make him feel responsible for me.

After reciting this to myself a few times, I stood and slowly made my way back to the house, where my mother ran out and embraced me.

I clung to her and touched her hair and smelled her perfume.

"I know that he hit you. I made him tell me when I saw you weren't here," she said.

"Will you make him leave now?"

"Julia, I can't. He has nowhere else to go. He won't hit you again, I promise. He was just angry today."

I suddenly felt like crying again, and I pulled out of her arms and ran to my room, stepping over the figure of Ray on the floor.