It's the new adventures of Barnacle Man and that Sponge Kid! And, for some reason, that Sponge Kid's fat pink friend. We join our heroes in the legendary subterranean Mermalair, heroically debating this heroic new superhero team arrangement.
"What is he doing here?" spluttered Barnacle Boy, pointing at Patrick. "You weren't supposed to tell anybody about this!"
"I'm sorry," said SpongeBob, "I thought that only applied to the first meeting. And, well ..." He put an arm around Patrick, who looked dejected. "He's my best friend in the whole world."
"How much have you told him?" asked Barnacle Boy.
SpongeBob glanced sideways at Patrick, beginning to realize that he'd apparently made a mistake. "Everything."
Barnacle Boy sighed in exasperation.
"But if it makes you feel any better," continued SpongeBob, "Patrick has some short-term memory problems, so we could turn back now and he probably won't even remember we came in the first place."
Patrick raised his hand and nodded in acknowledgement.
"No … he's here now; he might as well stay," said Barnacle Boy. "Against my better judgement ..."
"All right!" cried SpongeBob, heart soaring. He exchanged a high-five with Patrick and leapt onto his shoulders, the duo more than ready for their first evening of official crime-fighting under the tutelage of an expert. "We're ready … to protect the good citizens of Bikini Bottom from the ever-present threat of a super-villain attack and evil things in general!"
"And maybe get a snack on the way," added Patrick.
"To the Invisible Boatmobile!" screeched SpongeBob, steering Patrick in what he thought was the right direction, though given that the Invisible Boatmobile was invisible, he couldn't be completely sure. It didn't matter anyway; before they could make any real progress, Barnacle Boy deftly stepped in front of them. Navigating this sudden obstacle proved too much of a challenge for Patrick, who tripped and fell, taking SpongeBob down with him.
"Not so fast," said Barnacle Boy. "Where are your costumes? You can't go on patrol in street clothes."
"Oh! I almost forgot," laughed SpongeBob, springing to his feet. With one swift motion he tore his usual outfit from his body, revealing the official Mermaid Man costume he was wearing underneath. SpongeBob had chosen this costume in honor of his hero, but had modified it slightly as he didn't want Barnacle Boy to think he was trying to replace Mermaid Man. The plastic utility belt had been left at home, and the front of the costume now bore the blue letters "SK", which SpongeBob had painstakingly stitched there himself overnight. "Ta-da! What do you think?"
SpongeBob waited anxiously for Barnacle Boy's approval, and was very relieved when the old man slowly cracked a smile.
"Not bad at all," said Barnacle Boy. "SK?"
"Sponge Kid," clarified SpongeBob. After all, that was how Barnacle usually referred to him. Why fix what wasn't broken? Barnacle Boy apparently agreed, because he laughed appreciatively and gave SpongeBob a jovial slap on the back.
"And what about you, pinky?" said Barnacle Boy, turning to Patrick.
"I'm Sponge Kid's best friend," said Patrick proudly. Following SpongeBob's example, he removed his shorts with a flourish. Unlike SpongeBob, however, he wasn't wearing a costume underneath. Barnacle Boy looked less than impressed with the underpants-clad sea star in front of him, but SpongeBob spluttered with laughter.
Our heroes, one of whom is only wearing underpants for some reason, emerge triumphantly from the Mermalair. Can Barnacle Man and his two new young wards keep the city free of danger, or will their efforts be ineffectual but amusing to watch? Stay tuned to find out … as if you don't already know.
SpongeBob inhaled the familiar scent of fresh-baked cookies and peered eagerly into the treedome. To his left, Patrick was drooling. To his right, Barnacle Boy was scratching his head in confusion.
"She doesn't look like she's in danger," said Barnacle Boy.
Inside, Sandy was calmly humming to herself as she set a plate of cookies in the centre of her picnic table.
"Trust me," assured SpongeBob, "I know Sandy. She acts cool and collected on the outside but it's just a ruse … probably. We should definitely check it out."
"Well … if you say so," said Barnacle Boy. He didn't look entirely convinced, but shrugged and settled a water helmet onto his shoulders. "Barnacle Man and Sponge Kid and … this other guy … move in!"
SpongeBob charged the treedome door with a battle cry; a small wave of water sloshed onto the grass inside as Patrick and Barnacle Boy followed him inside. Sandy looked stunned at the sudden intrusion and for a moment spluttered incoherently.
"Look out, Sandy! Sea monster!" cried SpongeBob, pointing frantically over her shoulder. She turned to look, adopting a fighting stance, and SpongeBob took the opportunity to pounce on the unguarded plate of cookies.
"What in tarnation-?" Sandy turned back around just in time to see the last of her cookies disappearing into SpongeBob and Patrick's mouths. Patrick swallowed and belched appreciatively. "SPONGEBOB! PATRICK!"
SpongeBob grinned and took a few steps backwards as Sandy approached him furiously. "We were, uh, just checking them for poison."
8:07pm. Barnacle Man calls a top secret meeting back at the top secret Mermalair to secretly review what his new superhero team has accomplished so far.
"So ..." began Barnacle Boy, barely hiding his frustration and tapping a blank notepad with the end of his pen. "Let's review what we accomplished today."
SpongeBob raised his hand eagerly.
"Oh! Oh! We rescued Mrs. Puff's snail from that coral tree." SpongeBob jumped onto the table and began to re-enact the day's events. "We spent three hours twenty minutes fishing Mr. Krabs's dime out of that drain. We stole acorn chip cookies from Sandy and escaped with only minor bruising. And we had a lot of fun."
Barnacle Boy smirked. "Well, it was pretty funny when that cop tackled you to the ground."
"Good think they accept cookie bribes, huh, Pat?" said SpongeBob, nudging Patrick in the ribs.
"That was not a bribe," sulked Patrick, "He stole that cookie from me, plain and simple."
"Karma," noted Barnacle Boy, nodding sagely.
"Actually, it was acorn chip," corrected Patrick.