Chapter 6: This Splintered Mast
If there was an award for the most uninspired soon-to-be bride, Sarah Davies would win the first, second, and third place prize. She and Jack agreed to a long engagement, but Sarah felt awkward because all of the things her co-workers were excited about, wedding wise, Sarah couldn't bring herself to feel joy for.
What kind of dress did she want to wear? Where were they going to get married? What flowers did she want to carry? Cake flavors? Honeymoon ideas? All of the questions were overwhelming, and Sarah thought about just taking the ring off her finger. It was a heavy weight on her in so many ways, and Sarah didn't want to have a wedding be the only conversational piece for people to talk about.
Browsing the racks at Neiman Marcus after work one Friday afternoon, Sarah promised Jack that she would look for something nice to wear to the firm's yearly social. Sighing out of frustration, Sarah felt like she was being asked to be someone she wasn't. The price tags on the dresses were horrendous, but Jack inadvertently insisted she "look the part" for one night.
If things were up to Sarah, she would wear a dress that she already purchased. Sure, it wasn't glitzy or glamorous, but it was her. Searching through the store, Sarah finally found an off-the-shoulder black lace peplum top. It was $2,000, but it was the cheapest thing she found. Sure, it was a top, but Sarah could wear one of the three black pencil skirts she currently had in her closet. Rolling her eyes at the absurdity of it all, she tried on two different sizes before settling on one.
"This is ridiculous." Sarah said as she walked out of the store, the top wrapped in the type of fancy packaging that designer clothes tend to warrant.
As Sarah hailed a cab to take her back to her home, she thought about how Jack tried to cut his hours on the Jules case. As they approached the end of it, Jack's work hours only increased. Sure, he came home at a decent time, but he always had work to do after dinner. Sarah never felt so alone, and every now and again she would stare at the beautiful ring on her finger.
Sitting in the back of a cab, she wondered what Jareth King was doing. Sarah imagined him working tirelessly in his garden. She smiled as she thought of his dirty apron. Madame Talulah's words were all but forgotten ever since she got engaged, but there were moments when it fully hit her that Talulah was right all along about the engagement. If she was right about that, then what about the king to her queen? The king had to be Jareth, didn't he?
Once home, she placed the blouse in the closet and went about her day. The social would take place in two weeks; maybe she could keep the tag on it and return it afterwards?
"Whatever." Sarah told herself as she plopped herself down on the sofa to get in some reading.
Later that evening, Jack returned home, carrying a similar bag from Neiman Marcus.
"Fancy suit?" Sarah joked before kissing Jack.
"Yep! It fit perfectly, which according to the salesperson, doesn't happen very often with Dolce & Gabbana."
"I finally picked something out. I still don't see why I couldn't just wear what I normally wear."
"I personally love your style, but I don't think Maximillian & Associates will love the simplicity on their biggest gathering of the year. So, let me see what you picked out."
"Can we eat first? I'm starving, and I'm a bad fiance because I ordered pizza and it should be here any minute now."
"Greasy?" Jack said happily.
"Very greasy!" Sarah added.
Hours later after eating their dinner and watching some television, Sarah had all but forgotten about the blouse when Jack brought it up again.
Sarah rolled her eyes at the thought of showing the blouse off, but she proceeded to grab it from the closet. Unwrapping it and jokingly waving it front of Jack, she was surprised to see the look on his face.
"That's it?" Jack said.
"Well, I'm going to pair it with a pencil skirt. It'll be fine. I want to return the damn thing."
"I think you should. I was hoping you'd get a dress."
"Jack, since when do I have to put on a show for these people? You work there, I don't."
"I know, but you know how some of those people are. You represent them because we're engaged."
"What is this, 1950? Do they know that I work full time?"
"Sarah, I'm serious."
"I'm serious too Jack. What? Next year I'm going to have to consider plastic surgery? A face lift maybe?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Sarah."
"Why stop there? Are they going to dictate how many kids we have and where we purchase a home? Something right next to that stupid office? Maybe we can move into the damn office!"
"Sarah, I'm serious, stop it!"
"No! THIS blouse is ridiculous! This Jules case is ridiculous! This…"
"THIS WHAT? Engagement?" Jack said it for her.
"That's not what I was going to say."
"Yeah, but that's what you were thinking, right?"
"No."
"You think I proposed to satisfy the bosses? Increase my chances of getting a partnership?"
"Now you're being ridiculous."
"Maybe I am, and I'm not expert on engagements, but ever since I proposed, you've been building higher walls around me Sarah. I get you want a long engagement, but I look at you and I don't see the joy that comes from such a thing. You treat that ring like it's a burden."
Sarah sighed before sitting on the sofa.
"Talk to me, please!" Jack begged.
"I…"
Should she tell him about the whole debacle with Sarah Williams? Should she tell him about what Madame Talulah told her? Could she trust him with the torrent of feelings and emotions that swam through her body?
"I just need time to sort things out." Sarah said.
"What do you mean? What does that even mean anymore?"
"I was just starting to get used to you not being here all of the time due to work, and then you proposed."
"You think I proposed to make up for the time lost?" Jack asked.
"No! I just. I'm so confused right now." Sarah said, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "I have all of these thoughts, and I don't know what to think or what to do about them."
"What thoughts? Sarah, it's just me. I know something's been troubling you for weeks now. What can't you trust me with? Is it me?"
Sarah looked at the book about reincarnation that was on the coffee table.
"NO! It's not you! It's not you at all."
"Then what is it?" Jack pressed gently.
"I don't think you'd understand. I just need time to sort it all out." Sarah whispered, knowing that she was letting him down.
"Yeah, well, please feel free to tell me when you finally sort things out." Jack said before walking into their bedroom and slamming the door.
Sarah couldn't help but give into the tears that begged to stream down her face. Grabbing her book bag and purse, Sarah bolted out the door. She didn't bother to check the time to see that it was past 10:00 pm.
She knew she shouldn't have headed towards his place, but it was the only place she wanted to be. Not even bothering to check the time, Sarah walked as quickly as she could towards Apothecary King. Ezra did say that Jareth lived in an apartment on top of the shop.
The more she tried to control her tears, the more they fell down her face. Is this what her life had come to these past few weeks? Foolish thoughts and wishes? Fantasies of a time that could never be? She was so confused, but Sarah felt as if she couldn't truly proceed forward with her life until she figured the mystery out. She was on auto-pilot, her mind only focusing on getting to Jareth King. She never timed her walks, but Sarah figured it was around 10:45 when she approached the closed shop.
Standing in front of Apothecary King, Sarah looked up, hoping to see a light on. She didn't know why, but somehow the world wanted her to be there. Looking for some sort of bell to ring, Sarah found one a few feet away from the entrance to the shop. Hoping that she was pressing the right button, Sarah threw caution to the wind and pressed down. She could hear the shrill ringing, and her hands shook uncontrollably.
Closing her eyes, she whispered to herself, "Don't be here. Don't be here. Don't be here."
That would be the sign telling her to go home and talk things out with Jack.
"Don't be here." She whispered for good measure.
"Sarah, is that you?" She heard through the speaker.
Sarah was tongue tied. She didn't know what to say. Wanting to apologize for wasting his time, she formulated the words in her brain, but her voice wouldn't allow her to release them.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps approaching from the other side of the door. Jareth King, dressed in his pajamas, opened the door. He didn't speak, he just moved aside to let her in. Sarah walked in knowing that the fates either spited her or applauded her.
Walking up the stairs, Sarah could feel his presence behind her. Using the sleeve of her sweater to wipe her face, she wished she was more presentable, but such things were worthless in wishing for.
It was only when she saw his cozy apartment that she spoke.
"I lied. I lied to you about stuff." Sarah said before turning around to see Jareth.
Jareth looked impassive, as if he knew all along she was withholding information.
"Do you want something to drink?"
"No! No, the longer I wait to say this, the harder it will be." Sarah said, the tears now fresh and bitter.
"Talulah told me some information that just threw me off, I guess. I wasn't expecting to hear such things, but then again, maybe I was." Sarah was now trying to catch her breath.
She wasn't aware that she used her hands to push back her hair, not noticing how Jareth noticed the ring on her finger.
"She said I once had the chance to be a queen, but I turned down the king. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense." Sarah said.
Sarah didn't know to approach the subject, but she felt comfortable enough with Jareth to do such a thing. Reaching into her book bag, Sarah removed the photo of Sarah Williams that she printed out weeks ago. It was attached to the obituary and the news articles she discovered regarding the autopsy results.
"Read this." Sarah said, pacing around his living room. It was the only way she could calm her nerves.
She didn't see Jareth's immediate concern when the information was placed in front of him.
"Please sit down Sarah." Jareth said.
"I can't. I can't." She said.
"Is this you?" Jareth asked, sitting down on the sofa.
"No. Yes. I'm not sure." Sarah looked at Jareth.
When he flipped the page and saw the obituary, Jareth looked up at Sarah and then back down to the photo. She could sense the wheels turning in his head.
"You have a twin?" He asked, the confusion evident on his face.
"No. Look at the articles attached to the photo."
Sarah watched as Jareth read both pieces, noting how every now and again, he would look up at her with a look in his eyes that she couldn't quite place.
"You think the two of you are connected?" Jareth asked slowly.
"I don't know. I was mistaken for Sarah Williams a few weeks ago on the subway, and my curiosity got the better of me. I started to do some digging, and what you're reading is what I've found."
"Why are you telling me this Sarah?" Jareth asked.
"I… I can't tell Jack. He won't believe me, and we got into this huge fight over a stupid shirt and I'm questing every single thing in my life right now. I trust you Jareth." Sarah said, not realizing that she was nervously turning the engagement ring on her finger.
"I still don't understand what you're trying to tell me." Jareth calmly said, his eyes focusing on her turning of the ring.
"You said once that you thought you were once a king. You talked about reincarnation." Sarah said, struggling to speak.
"You believe that you're the reincarnation of this girl that died 30 years ago?"
"I don't know! You're the only person who knows about this. It's stupid, I know. It has to be some sort of strange coincidence, right?"
"I don't think it's stupid Sarah." Jareth said as he stood and walked towards Sarah. "You need to calm down and breathe."
"I'm so sorry I woke you up. I didn't know where else to go." Sarah said.
"It's okay." Jareth reassuringly said, placing his hands on her shoulders.
Why was he so understanding? Why couldn't he just tell her that she was being foolish and should focus her energy towards her engagement. Jack would have said such things.
"I'm thinking of renting a car and going to Haverstraw tomorrow. It's not a long drive, and it's going to be weekend so… I don't know. I just feel like I have to go there." Sarah said.
"What do you hope to find there?"
"Most likely nothing, but I have to go. I feel like I can't let this whole thing go if I ignore it."
And as if he read her mind, Jareth asked, "Would you like me to go with you?"
Sarah didn't realize the sigh of relief she released until she felt her shoulders slack. But then came the question of whether or not she should tell Jack about her trip. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right? It was just a simple day trip. She could drive the 45 minutes to the town, and get this whole Sarah Williams mess over with in a day. Yes, the plan was already beginning to map itself out. She would get whatever it was out of her system and move on with her life.
"You don't have to do that." Sarah said, her mouth trembling.
"I want to. I think it will be good for you." Jareth said. "We could rent a car, drive out there, and just spend a few hours in the town. Are you going to try and find the Williams family?"
Jareth pulled Sarah in for a hug. It was what she needed, and she reveled in the warmth of Jareth running soothing circles along her back. She didn't realize how much she longed for his embrace until she felt it. It pained her when he pulled away from her.
"I read in another article that the family moved to Maine about ten years ago. I sometimes think about tracking down her little brother, but I think that seeking him out is a bit disturbing. Who wants a reminder that his sister is dead?"
"He's now an adult though."
"Still, that doesn't help the situation." Sarah said. "I don't want to cause anyone any pain. It's tragic enough having a child die from such mysterious circumstances."
"Do you want it to be true?" Jareth asked.
"What?"
"Do you want to be the reincarnation of Sarah Williams?"
"I don't even know how I feel about that. Maybe I'm trying to create chaos out of a stable situation. Maybe I'm trying to avoid having to deal with something."
"Like a new engagement. Congrats by the way." Jareth said.
"Thanks." Sarah meekly said before adding, "I can't go back tonight. I'm going to get a hotel room and…"
"No, you can stay here. I'll take the sofa and you can take my bed."
"I don't want to be an inconvenience."
"Sarah, you're not." Jareth said understandingly.
"I don't have any clothes." Sarah said, her eyes brimming with fresh tears.
"Luckily for you, I've got some stuff."
It didn't take long for Sarah to fall asleep. Jareth took the sofa, just as he said he would, but Sarah felt his presence next to her as she inhaled the scent of his sheets. It was as if he was there, wrapping her in a comfort she never recalled ever feeling with Jack. She was too exhausted to imagine falling asleep in such a bed every night, but the apartment smelled just like his shop did.
That night she dreamed of a man who looked like Jareth offering her what appeared to be a glass bubble. He was saying something, but she couldn't hear his words. She couldn't read his lips either.
The next morning Jareth rented a car to take them both to Haverstraw. She was wearing a long sleeved t-shirt he loaned her. Her jeans from yesterday were still a bit fresh, but when Jareth checked out the weather forecast, he brought a parka jacket, just in case.
The car ride would take just over forty-five minutes, and Jareth insisted on driving.
"So what if you're really her?" Jareth asked as soon as they got on the highway.
"I really don't know."
"Do you see that changing anything? It's obvious you think Jack won't believe you."
Sarah mindlessly turned the engagement ring on her finger.
"I know you're really confused right now, but everything is going to be alright Sarah." Jareth said.
"He hasn't even called." Sarah said.
"He's probably at the office." She added, hoping not to cry.
"Hopefully we'll find some answers for you today." Jareth said.
"We?"
"Yes, we." Jareth said.
Seconds later Sarah's cell phone rang.
"It's Jack." She said, hitting the ignore button.
"You should tell him where you're going. At least let him know that you're fine."
"Yeah, but I'm not fine. Plus, that will open the door to even more questions. Seconds ago I wanted him to call, but now I he's the last person I want to talk to."
Later as they drove into the quiet town, Sarah didn't feel the familiar pull that she expected she would feel. It was just like any other small town.
"Where are we specifically headed?" Jareth asked.
"I really don't know. I just figured that something would…"
"Pull at you?" Jareth finished her sentence.
"Yeah."
After a few more minutes of driving, Sarah asked Jareth to take a right turn at the upcoming street light.
"There's going to be a park at the end of the street." Sarah said.
"Did you study a town map?"
"No. I just know it." Sarah whispered as Jareth continued to drive.
The sky was overcast, and Sarah felt a chill down her spine as the car got closer and closer to the end of the road.
"Can we stop here?" She asked.
Jareth compiled with her wishes. After he parked the car, Sarah and Jareth got out of the vehicle to walk around the park. Jareth insisted that Sarah wear his parka before they explored the grand and beautiful park.
"This reminds me of the parks back home in England. It's rather majestic."
Sarah and Jareth walked around the park. After strolling around for ten minutes, Sarah, once again, felt a chill in her body.
The park was spacious and too grand for words. The sky was now readying for a slight drizzle, but Sarah didn't care. She was functioning on autopilot, letting her feet guide her to an unknown location.
"Are you sure you've never been here before?" Jareth asked, trying to keep up with Sarah.
"I've never seen this place before in my life." Sarah said, steering ahead.
"It's strange. I could swear that I've seen this place. It was almost a bird's eye view. I must be getting it mixed up with a park back home." Jareth said.
It was then that Sarah saw a lone swan swimming in the pond. She paused and stared. For a few seconds it seemed as if the swan noticed her and Jareth too. Walking towards it, Sarah felt her heartbeat quicken. Not knowing what to do, Sarah's eyes wandered around the area, as if waiting for the real Sarah Williams to pop out of nowhere.
"Through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered…" Sarah whispered.
"Sarah." Jareth said. "Sarah. Are you alright?"
How did she fall to her knees? How did she land on the ground?
"Sarah!" Jareth said, moving next to her.
"It's here." Sarah whispered as she fell to the ground.
The other side of her face felt the grass.
"What's here?" Jareth asked, clearly panicked.
"This is where I died." Sarah said before closing her eyes.
"Sarah! Sarah!" Jareth said.
"I'm fine." She whispered. "I'm fine." She whispered again, taking in deep breaths.
"This is where she died Jareth. I feel it."
"You said this is where you died." Jareth said, his eyes slightly watering.
His eyes met hers, and there was an intensity there that frightened Sarah.
"Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great." Sarah said.
Jareth stared at her, almost as if in recognition of her words. Neither realized that they were clutching each other's hand.
"You have no power over me." Jareth whispered before turning and walking away from Sarah. He headed straight towards the pond, as if the swan could provide some clarity.
Sarah continued to lie on the ground, still not understanding all that was happening around her. There was now a slight drizzle, but she couldn't make herself move. She didn't notice when Jareth lie next to her. Both were facing the sky, and as if the universe demanded it, Sarah grabbed his hand. Her heart was steadily pounding, and she wanted to close her eyes.
Minutes later Jareth got up and reached for Sarah.
"I think we should go." He said. It was obvious that he was crying.
"What's wrong?" Sarah asked as she was lifted up.
"We need to go back to the city. I think that little adventure is over, don't you?" Jareth said.
Sarah didn't realize that Jareth was clutching her hand – her left hand.
"I don't understand."
"This is pointless. So what if you're the reincarnation of Sarah Williams? What is it going to change?" Jareth asked.
"I wish that I knew."
It was then that Sarah's cell phone rang. She saw that it was Jack, as did Jareth. Suddenly, as if on a whim, Jareth grabbed the phone and threw it towards the pond.
"What are you doing?" Sarah asked as the phone continued to ring.
"I can't take this anymore." Jareth said.
"What?" Sarah asked, not understanding what Jareth's motives were.
Jareth walked away. It appeared as if he was trying to control some sort of rage inside of him. Following him, Sarah wondered what was wrong.
"What's going on?" Sarah asked.
"I can't do this anymore Sarah!"
"I don't understand."
"I lied to you! I've been lying to you for weeks!"
"Lying to me about what?"
"You know! You have to know! It's been there all along! Say the words Sarah! Acknowledge them, please!"
Sarah stood in the drizzle, knowing full well what he wanted her to say.
"All of those dreams with the faceless woman. That moment we first met. It was you. It was Sarah Williams all along." Jareth said.
"I can't believe that." Sarah said.
"Shall I start it off then? What if I was once a king, and you did turn down my offer."
"She was trying to rip me off! You said so yourself!"
"No! Why are you doing this?" Jareth asked, frustration and anger lacing his voice.
"Doing what?"
"Weeks ago I claimed this connection, and I can't allow myself to continue to brush it aside when the puzzle pieces are starting to make sense. It's you Sarah!"
"I can't do this right now." Sarah said, heading back towards the car.
"Do what?" Jareth said, running to stand in front of Sarah. "Explain how we seemed to know one another? Explain why we can't seem to avoid each other? Explain your engagement? I couldn't let myself believe that there is a connection out of respect for Penelope and Jack. I've felt it since the moment I saw you that night in her apartment. I'VE FELT IT IN MY BONES! I will be your willing slave, but I can't sit by and watch you commit yourself to another man when I KNOW that you're supposed to be with ME. I lost you once by force, and I can't do again by choice. "
Jareth stormed back into the car and slammed the door shut. Sarah was left standing in the light rain. It took her a few minutes to gather herself and walk back towards the car. Sarah stupidly thought coming the trip would clear up so much, but she ended up being more confused.
The car wasn't running, but she could see Jareth lost in thought behind the steering wheel. Getting into the car, Sarah softly shut it and remained silent. The only sound that could be heard was the soft rain that was now pelting down on the rented car.
Sarah looked at Jareth, understanding how hard it must have been to keep all of his conflicting emotions inside of him for the past few weeks. He had known since day one. Sarah thought of the very first time they met, but if the whole reincarnation thing was correct, then it would explain why his first words were, "It's you." It would also explain her response.
"I'm sorry, that was…" Jareth said before Sarah crushed her lips against his.
At first Jareth was in shock, but he quickly met her with a force that Sarah could only describe as soul shattering. Clutching his face to hers, Sarah didn't care about the glint of a diamond that fell in the corner of her eye. She didn't care about the fact that she was now in a full-fledged emotional affair. She didn't care, and for once, it was a great liberator.