Chapter 7: First Kiss
Time is a tricky thing. It had a way of making Sarah feel as if it could be frozen in time. It also had a way of putting images into Sarah's head that didn't fit. She felt as if she was slowly falling into an abyss as she kissed Jareth King. Their lips moved in perfect motion, as if this wasn't the first time they tasted one another. All seemed right. All seemed calm.
Then Sarah's phone rang.
Sarah and Jareth didn't have to look at the screen to know that it was Jack calling for the third time.
"You should answer it." Jareth said, gently brushing Sarah's hair behind her ear while catching his breath.
"Hello." Sarah said hesitantly.
Jareth could hear the muffled sound of Jack's voice on the other end of the phone, and he tried not to be so invested in the conversation, but things were different now. He had no choice but to be invested.
"I know." Sarah said.
"I'm in Haverstraw right now." She added a few seconds later.
"I'll see you soon." Then there was a slight resistance before she added, "I love you too."
Jareth couldn't hide his disappointment, knowing that she couldn't look at him when she said those words, as she ended the call.
It was then that the reality of the situation hit Sarah.
"Shall we return to the city then?" He asked, hoping he didn't sound as bitter as he felt.
"I guess we should."
"So that's it then? We go back and pretend like today never happened."
"I need to talk to Jack."
"What are you going to tell him?" Jareth said, looking out the window.
"I don't know really. I need time to process everything. I need time to understanding what's going on." Sarah said.
"Sarah, you can't stay with him." Jareth whispered.
"Can we just go, please?" Sarah answered.
Jareth started the car and began to drive them back to the city. The two didn't talk at all, and somehow the silence was easier than forcing the conversation that needed to occur.
As Jareth drove across the Brooklyn Bridge, he ended the silence.
"I get what you're thinking. You don't understand anything that's going on with the Williams girl and me, so you need to return to Jack… because he's safe and steady. There are no true challenges with the two of you, so you're going to try and make it work with him because you're afraid."
"I am afraid." Sarah said.
"Of what? Taking a risk in order to experience true, soul-shattering love with the person you've somehow been designed for?"
"I won't be that woman who cheats." Sarah said.
"I'm not asking to be the other man. I'm asking to be the man."
"You don't get it. I can't just walk into our apartment and tell him that I think I belong with someone else because I may be the reincarnation of a past love. I can't just throw it all away because you may one day become detached."
Jareth sighed, thinking about the conversation they had weeks ago. She had every right to be wary of his feelings when he spoke so eloquently about how easy it was for him to step away from previous relationships.
"I know it might sound cheap, but I don't feel that way about you. It took all of those wrong turns for me to find the right one. Sarah. I'm not asking you to run away and get married next week. I'm asking for time with me to see if the dots that have already connected will remain connected. Jack is a great guy, and I don't like the thought of hurting him, but you won't be happy with him in the long run." Jareth said as they pulled into the car rental station.
"Yeah, well, that's my decision, isn't it?" Sarah said as she got out of the vehicle and walked in to sign off on the paperwork.
The two went home in separate cabs.
As Sarah walked into her apartment, she expected it to be devoid of Jack's presence. Surprisingly, he was there, catching up on laundry.
"Hey." Jack said.
"Hey yourself." Sarah said.
Sarah knew that she should have been completely honest in that moment about everything: Jareth King, Talulah's reading, the whole Sarah Williams incident, Haverstraw included, but before she could start that leg of the conversation, Jack beat her to the punch.
"I'm so sorry. You're right. You're right about everything, well, everything except for the engagement business. I proposed because I wanted to. I've wanted to for so long, but I kept putting it off because I was always looking for the right time. But then I realized that there's no such thing as the 'right time.' Sometimes you just have to jump and take a chance."
"Jack…"
"Sarah, please listen. I don't care if you go that stupid social in a paper bag and yoga pants. I just want to be there with you. I know it has been trying, but we're going to survive this. If you really want me to turn down the partnership if it's offered to me, then I'll do it." Jack said as he reached for Sarah.
Hugging him, Sarah wished she felt the relief she thought she would when she first heard his words. He repeated how much he loved her, but Sarah couldn't bring herself to tell him the same thing. Yes, she could ask him to turn it down, but she knew deep down he wanted it. She also knew that he would eventually resent her, and that wasn't something she could live with.
All she could feel was the embrace of Jareth King. All she could taste were his lips on hers. All she could think of was their conversation. The ring on her finger was now a heavy weight, but she realized that what Jareth said was true. Jack was a safe bet, but would she settle for safe or could she, for once, truly be adventurous and take a chance?
Jack's words ran in her thoughts: "Sometimes you just have to jump and take a chance."
Sarah stupidly believed going to Haverstraw would clarify things, but she didn't know what to do and it scared her.
The next two weeks were composed of work, work, work, and avoiding anything having to do with Jareth King at all costs. Sarah foolishly thought that if she avoided anything that reminded her of him then it would be as simple as an out of sight out of mind situation. She didn't wear the perfume oil he created for her. She tried to go back to her nice and normal life before she ever laid eyes on Jareth King.
Sarah didn't want to go to the Maximillian & Associates social, but she looked at it as simply "taking one for the team." That night Sarah wore the outfit she originally intended to wear in the first place, but as she looked in the mirror, she didn't even recognize the person that looked back at her.
Without thinking, she opened the medicine cabinet and reached for the vial of perfume oil that she had so quickly grown attached to. Dabbing it on her neck, Sarah wiped her fingers and absent-mindedly twirled the engagement ring around her finger. She knew that she would see him there at the social, but she could be an adult in the situation. Sarah hoped that he would rescind Penelope's invitation, but as much as she wished to not see him, a part of her did want to see him.
Sarah knew that Jareth King wouldn't go up to Jack and tell him about all of the things that had been happening between the two of them. The worst of it was a kiss; it wasn't like they were engaging in some sort of lascivious behavior.
"Ready?" Jack called from the living room.
"I'll be out in a second." Sarah said, before looking at herself one more time in the mirror.
She tried to be as positive as possible. Maybe he would flake out on Penelope because he didn't want to put himself in an awkward situation. Yes, that would be it.
"He won't be there. He won't be there." Sarah told herself as she walked out of the bathroom.
Jack drove them towards the destination of the social, Sarah asked,
"Where is it this year?"
"It's going to be at the New Museum. The firm rented out the Sky Room this year. We'll get to see New York City from the top of the building. I hear the view is incredible."
'I don't know why, but I was expecting The Four Seasons again." Sarah said.
"They're trying to be a little more modern, I guess. One of the associates hired a DJ, so you know where I won't be tonight."
"You're not such a bad dancer."
"I'll just stay around the seated areas. I think the firm is trying to be a bit more modern. I applaud them for trying." Jack joked.
"You look amazing by the way." Jack added.
"Thank you." Sarah said.
The rest of the drive was silent as Sarah felt the nervous tension build up in her body. She was worrying too much about something that could possibly not happen. She told herself that she wouldn't worry about anything. She would enjoy the night, eat some well-catered food, and try to play a part of the dutiful fiance.
For the first two hours of the social, Sarah was more relaxed than she thought she would be. The hired DJ was playing a nice mix of tunes that weren't bad jazz covers. Sarah tried not to watch old men dance in the designated space, but it did provide a few comedic moments.
There was no sign of Jareth King, and it was an odd comfort to see Penelope Lancaster alone. Sarah felt awkward standing next to Jack while he talked about the usual business with his co-workers.
It wasn't until she went to grab a drink that she saw Penelope move next to her at the open bar.
"Hey Penelope, how's it going?" Sarah asked.
"It's good. Congrats on the engagement!"
"Oh, thanks. Um, Jack told me that you and Jareth broke up. I'm sorry to hear that."
"Well, that's life. It's not going to say that I'm not sad about it, but he's the perfect man for someone out there. He just isn't the perfect man for me. Plus, with all of the hours devoted to the Jules case, it wasn't meant to be. He's kind enough to be my date tonight, but he's running a bit late."
"Oh." Sarah said, her nerves all of a sudden firing up before asking, "Do you think that you and Jack are going to get the partnerships?" Sarah asked, running her finger over the rim of her wine glass.
"Between you and me, I'm willing to bet my retirement on it. I've already got my eye on a spot in the Hong Kong office." Penelope said.
"Wait, would Jack have to go to Hong Kong?" Sarah asked, a little bit of worry in her voice.
"More than likely no. If you're partner you get some say in things. There are also offices in London, Madrid, Chicago, and Dallas. Oh! There he is!"
Sarah wanted to walk away, but she looked up and saw Jareth King enter the Sky Room. He hadn't noticed her or Penelope yet, and Sarah tried not to stare as he walked around. He was a vision in a well tailored suit. The women blatantly stared as he walked by, and Sarah scanned the room for the quickest exit. She didn't feel nauseated, but maybe Jack would buy her excuse. She did enjoy one too many bacon wrapped scallops, but blaming it on the food was childish.
Noticing the rooftop exit, Sarah walked outside, hoping some fresh air would do her good. Sure, she looked great, but internally she felt like a total mess. There weren't too many people outside, so it afforded her a bit of peace and quiet. There was a nice breeze, and Sarah closed her eyes as she felt the wind and the sounds of New York City swallow her nervous energy.
Fingering the engagement ring, Sarah removed it and had a brief moment where she thought about dropping it from the rooftop of the museum. An overwhelming urge to just let it go surged through her, but the door opening brought her back to reality.
Sarah turned around and, though the glass, could see Jack talking to his co-workers. He was doing perfectly fine on his own; it was as if she wasn't even there. Yes, she looked the part, but she never felt so alone in her entire life. Was tonight a predictor of what lie in her future? She fingered the fancy $2,000 blouse she wore and wanted nothing more than to just shed it from her body. She had all but forgotten about Jareth King when she walked into the room again.
She was more than content to find a table in the back and sit out the rest of the evening, but then she heard the opening notes to the song that had haunted her for the last few weeks. Some couples were already on the small dance floor, but Sarah wanted to make her way back to Jack. Maybe if she stayed near Jack, then Jareth would stay away.
Ain't it useless to fight
Or to pretend
That it'll all come out right in the end
It was then that she spotted him across the now crowded room. Jareth King staring at her like a lion that has just spotted its prey. For a few seconds she stared back, but she had to make it back to Jack. Seeing him across the room, he was still oblivious to all that was happening around him. Looking back to where she first saw Jareth, Sarah was a little relieved to see that he wasn't there anymore.
Seeing a few of Jack's co-workers compliment her on the engagement and her outfit, Sarah was polite as she tried to avoid Jareth King.
Turning to head towards Jack, she was now face to face with Jareth King. He gently grabbed her and led her to the dance floor.
So you wait for me
I who've only time
Yeah you wait for me
Care to ease my mind
Iodine and iron?
The two stared at one another, and Sarah experienced what felt like flashbacks. Jareth's hair was different, and he was wearing some blue jacket that screamed the 1980s. Sarah didn't know how to waltz, but strangely enough, she went along with Jareth as they moved around the room.
And I'm thinking of you
When times are hard
I feel as mad as the moon
And twice as scarred
Yet you wait for me
And you fill my heart
Yeah you wait for me
And you light the dark
When did Jareth guide her head to his shoulder, or did she do it on her own? Sarah caught a glance of Jack in the corner of her eye, still oblivious to what was happening. This was the moment for him to swoop in and knock some sense into her, but he never did. She was supposed to be his partner, right?
So don't plead to me now
To be only mine
Love, you're stripping me down
Like turpentine
"Let's leave." Jareth whispered into her ear.
Still you wait for me
Then you leave no trace
Yeah you wait for me
Sarah looked around, knowing that Jack somehow wouldn't notice. Feeling the tears well up in her eyes, she nodded her head and took the hand he offered her. Letting him lead her out of the room, Sarah felt like she could breathe once she stepped out of the Sky Room.
"Wait, I need a minute." Sarah said as she nodded towards the lady's restroom.
"Okay." Jareth said.
Sarah went into the bathroom, hoping that being away from Jareth King would knock some sense into her. Her two minutes in the ladies room easily became ten of her staring in the mirror, trying to pluck up the courage to leave with him. She knew that once she walked out of the door with him then her engagement would be over. She would make a decision she wouldn't be able to take back. Safety or uncertainty? Security or unbridled passion?
After fifteen minutes, Sarah exited the restroom, but Jareth was nowhere to be seen. Her stomach dropped at the realization that he must have thought she rejected him again.
Taking the elevator to the first floor, Sarah didn't think she could run so fast in four inch heels, but as she exited the museum, she searched for him, hoping that she didn't blow her chance.
Seeing him walk towards the closest subway station, Sarah shouted the first thing that came to her mind,
"GOBLIN KING, TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS PLACE!"
Jareth stop walking, but he didn't turn around. Sarah ran towards him, not caring if the whole world saw her. As she got closer and closer to him, she saw him turn around and stretch out his arms to embrace her as she ran faster towards him. Crashing into him, she clutched on to him, knowing there was no turning back. If she ran with him, she would be saying goodbye to a part of her life and there would be no room for regrets. If she stayed behind, she would be betraying herself.
Jareth held onto her, as if letting her go would mean that she would somehow float back to the Sky Room and her fiance.
"I can't do it. I can't do it anymore." Sarah whispered before she felt Jareth's lips on hers.
"Where shall we go? What shall we do?" Jareth whispered, desperately holding her still.
"I don't know, but you were right. You were right about everything. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I was such an idiot. Please don't tell me that my second chance is gone! Please don't tell me that it's too late!"
"Shhh. Sarah, we have the rest of our lives." Jareth said before smiling down at her. "All we can do is take it day by day."
"I need you."
"I need you too." Jareth said before crushing his lips to hers again.
Three hours later they lay in Jareth's bed. Sarah changed into one of Jareth's shirts and donned a pair of his pajama pants, more than anxious to rid herself of the clothing she wore that night. She stared at the engagement ring on his bedside table, knowing that it wasn't meant to be hers. It was never meant to be hers.
Jareth spooned Sarah to him, his arm wrapped around her waist. The two were silent for a while, simply growing accustomed to each other's physical presence. There was too much going on for the two of them to fall asleep, but both were mentally exhausted.
"Do you really think that you were a king in another life?" Sarah asked.
For a few seconds Sarah thought Jareth fell asleep, but then he responded.
"I always had dreams that were a bit off. I remember seeing a labyrinth a lot, and there were also some odd creatures out and about. After hearing you call me a goblin king, then it suddenly clicked."
Sarah turned over to face Jareth.
"That's all?" Sarah asked.
"Oh no. I always remembered the ones that involved dancing. The two of us would dance, and while it was completely innocent, there was something there. I, well, past me, wanted you then, but I somehow knew that it wasn't the right time." Jareth said, tracing a finger down her cheek.
"When I saw you for the first time, I knew that you were her." He added. "I didn't know the name, but I just knew that you were the girl in my dreams."
"Do you really believe Sarah Williams and, well, you were involved in the past?"
"What else could it be? Why else would I feel so tethered to you? Five years ago I had this weird deja vu moment back home in Reading where I realized that past me must have died of a broken heart. Rather than fight for his love, he gave up. I remember one evening lying in bed and all I could say for the longest time were four completely random words to me: 'So it is done.'"
"So it is done." Sarah repeated in a whisper before running her fingers through his hair.
"I sense your fear."
"I am planning on ending my engagement in a matter of hours. I feel a lot of things, fear being one of them."
"No, it's not that. Forgive me, but your engagement ended before it even began. You're afraid to truly see where this will go."
Sarah didn't respond because she knew he was right.
"You think that a relationship that starts off as complicated as ours has will only end in tears. Who's to say that I will use reincarnation as an excuse to end this just as I did to begin this?"
"How do you know?"
"Know what?"
"That everything will be okay."
"I don't," Jareth softly replied before adding, "but I can't risk letting you slip away because of a fear the unknown. I'm scared too, but I want to walk through this world with you. Let us not worry about all of the bad things that might happen. Let us enjoy the fact that we've found one another again. I feel so complete with you here beside me. It's something I've never felt with anyone else."
Sarah moved in closer to Jareth and felt a sense of comfort that she never recalled feeling with Jack. For a second she felt guilt at the thought of being so close to a man when she was still technically engaged, but she knew that death would somehow be better than living a lie.