I'm so sorry that I took so long, and that this is so short, but I just haven't been in the mood to write anything lately. But I promise the next one will be longer, and there won't be much of a longer wait.

. . .

"Will you become my apprentice, Yūmaru-san?"

I was frozen in my seat, staring up at him with a surprised look on my face. My hands lay in my lap, feeling numb and seemingly dead.

I didn't know how to feel.

Should I feel happy?

Excited?

I inclined my head a smidgeon.

Rin's offer seemed very sudden- had he even thought over any of this before requesting something of this magnitude?

I didn't know.

Rin was very patient, I noticed. He didn't seem to be the least annoyed with me because I was taking too long to answer.

He merely gazed at me with those deep blue eyes of his- eyes that spoke of unimaginable pain, sadness, and, most of all, tiredness.

It was as if Rin was simply tired of life itself- and he looked the part, too.

His skin was sallow, looking to be even paler than the snow of his hair. There were lines on his face that hadn't been there before, and there were dark shadows under his eyes.

He looked sick.

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. Not with those soulful eyes staring me down.

I swallowed hard. "Will you become my apprentice, Yūmaru-san?" His question echoed in my mind again, unrelenting and vicious.

"Can… can you even do that?" I finally asked, unable to tear myself away from his gaze.

"I'm perfectly capable of doing it," he answered smoothly, and, while I stared at him in silence, he managed a non-characteristic smirk, "Come now, Yūmaru-san. Don't you want to get stronger?"

"Of course I do," I retorted, and I crossed my arms over my chest, "This… this world is… harsher than the other one. And I don't want to die again," I admitted in a small voice.

Rin's eyes became hard, the smirk melting off of his lips like liquid water. He rested his arms on the table, steepled his fingers together, and leaned forward, the distance between us diminishing.

"I promise you," he began in a surprisingly soothing tone, "That you shouldn't have to worry about that any time soon. Not in my care, you won't."

I bit my lip, knowing that, like Rin smirking, it was uncharacteristic of me to do so, "What would you teach me?" I finally asked, ripping my gaze from his and staring at my hands nestled in my lap, "Would it be anything that I couldn't learn on my own?"

Rin looked severe, "Yūmaru-san, while anyone could learn what I would be teaching you, only I can be the one to teach you."

I blinked, muttering a very intelligible, "How?"

Rin smiled faintly, and his severe visage seemed to almost dissipate. Almost, "I have decades of experience under my belt, both in this world and the last. So, what do you say? Will you accept my offer and become my apprentice, Yūmaru-san?"

I knew that this was a great opportunity, and that it was literally being dropped in my face. A huge part of me urged me to accept the deal, as it was being handed to me on a silver platter. But a smaller part of me told me to decline- that I didn't deserve what Rin was so generously offering. After all, what had I ever done to receive such an opportunity?

Well, besides killing a man and blubbing all over his corpse, nothing.

The neutral part of me, the logical part, urged me to ignore the larger and the smaller parts. It urged me to think, to use my head. Just what would I gain out of this?

It was obvious that Rin had to be a powerful man, despite his sickly visage. He was a Jōnin, after all.

And if I accepted his offer, just what would my team mates think? What would Kazuki think?

I still hadn't made up with my sensei, or even with my team mates for that matter. If I suddenly left their team, what would they think of me? Would they be disappoint? Upset? Or just neutral?

"Why are you doing this, Rin-san?" I broke the long silence with a very obvious question, and I probably looked more serious than I ever did in my life.

Rin pursed his lips in thought, and then asked, very softly: "Why do you think?"

I think I had a mental blank just then, and it suddenly occurred to me that I didn't know why. I didn't know why Rin, a man who barely knew me, was doing this for me.

"Tell me why," I said.

That faint smile of his came back, the corners of his lips quirking up like they so often did, "Because I care, Yūmaru-san. And because you're the daughter of my dearest friend. I cared for Sosuke so much that his death nearly destroyed me."

"Am I an obligation then?" I knew then that that had been the wrong question to ask, for Rin's eyes tightened.

"No," he practically spat, "You are not an obligation."

I nearly smiled, "Then what am I?" I asked, leaning forward in anticipation.

"A student, if you so wish," he replied, "You came into this house three years ago under Sosuke's arm, I promised you training. You never got it. So, this is me trying to honour that promise. So, for the last and final time, will you become my apprentice, Yūmaru-san?"

"I don't even…" I began, but stopped.

I didn't know how to respond to him. I mean, what could I say? 'Oh, Rin-san, thank you so much for the offer, but I simply can't right now. I have to resolve my issues with my team first?'

I sighed, then said, "I really appreciate the offer, Rin-san, but I can't right now. Not before I know everything is alright with my team first. I have to makeup with Kazuki first. You see, we had a fight on our last mission-"

I was silenced when Rin held up a hand, his eyes soft in understanding, "I understand. But think about it very carefully. Who would you learn the most from? Your current sensei, or me? But for now, off to bed with you. I've kept you awake long enough."

I nodded and got to my feet, "Goodnight, Rin-san."

He smiled at me in an almost fatherly way, "Goodnight, Yūmaru-san."

I found Hiroshi slumped on his futon when I reached his room, and he looked up when I entered.

"I thought you would already be asleep," I frowned, then looked around his room, "Where am I going to sleep?"

"There's an extra futon in the cupboard," he answered almost absently.

I nodded, and stepped over to the cupboard that he had indicated, not really thinking much of his ability to point things out- he'd lived in this room his whole life, so of course he'd be able to find his way around.

I found what I was looking for and pulled it out with a grin. I unfolded it and set it next to Hiroshi's.

I was about to fall onto it, when Hiroshi's sudden voice startled me, "What did Otou-sama want, Yū-chan?"

I tensed slightly, then whipped around to face him. He was standing right in front of me, towering over me by half a head. His white hair shadowed his eyes as usual, but I could still catch a sliver of green through the snow.

"Rin-san wanted to offer me something," I smiled at the way that he leaned forward in interest.

"What was it?" He seemed to be very happy for some strange reason.

"He asked if I wanted to become his apprentice," I answered softly, "And before you ask what my answer is, I told him I'd have to give it some time. Some time for me sort things out for my team, most importantly my sensei. But believe me when I say this, Hiroshi-kun, I really do want to become his apprentice."

"Oh," was all he said.

I frowned, "Are you not happy with that?" I demanded, "Do you not want me to become his apprentice?"

"No," Hiroshi answered quickly, making me narrow my eyes at him slightly, "It's just… just that…"

"Just what?"

"Ireallywishyouwereonmyteaminstead," he breathed out in a rush, and I raised an eyebrow, "I really wish you were on my team instead," he repeated.

My frown melted into a smile, and I nodded at him, "Same for me," I said, "'Cause right now, my team mates aren't my biggest fans."

"Better than Kimiko, at least," Hiroshi muttered, making me giggle a little.

"Yeah," I agreed, "In fact, I reckon anything's better than Kame-chan."

"She has a crush on your team mate, you know," Hiroshi pointed out with an uncharacteristic smirk.

I raised an eyebrow, "So? It's not as if anything's going to happen between them. They're only seven years old."

"Like you," Hiroshi replied.

"And you," I retorted.

Hiroshi smiled a smile that looked so eerily like his father's that I stifled a chuckle behind pressed lips.

"How do I cope with someone like you?" Hiroshi asked no one in particular.

I leaned forward and swiftly kissed his cheek, pulling back with a grin, "'Cause I'm your best friend!" I chirped.

Hiroshi shook his head in silent amusement, then said, "We should go to sleep now, Yū-chan. It's really late and I have training early tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes, "Alright then. But I'm not tired."

"Goodnight, Yū-chan."

"Yeah, yeah," I answered, "Goodnight, Hiroshi-kun."

. . .

I poked at the food in front of me, then turned my head to face Hiroshi, who was sitting beside me.

"Is this what you eat everyday?" My disgust must have been apparent, for Hiroshi laughed, and I narrowed my eyes at him, "Don't you laugh at me, Hiroshi Akashi!"

"I'm sorry, Yū-chan," he gasped, pressing a single, paper-white hand to his stomach, "It's just… your face!"

"Stop smirking at me!" I snapped, and when he only continued to chuckle, I glared at him harder, "I mean it!"

Finally, he stopped laughing, and pursed his lips, "I know you do," he replied, "So eat your breakfast."

I sighed and looked down at my bowl, "I am," I grumbled, picking at the rice in front of me with a pair of chopsticks as I continued, "But I still don't know how you can eat this everyday! It's so plain!"

"You get used to it," Hiroshi said simply as he popped a grain of rice into his mouth.

"But it has no flavour!" I complained.

"It's what you'll be eating when you become Otou-sama's apprentice and have to come here really early!" Hiroshi grinned.

"Then maybe I'll just eat breakfast at home," I muttered, finally picking up a piece of rice with the ends of my chopsticks and sticking it into my mouth.

I chewed it for a few seconds, then grimaced as I placed my chopsticks onto the table, "It tastes like nothing!" I announced, all the while a voice at the back of my mind darkly hissed, Stop complaining!

I paused for a second. The voice was right.

I really should stop complaining. I mean, it wasn't as if I was an old woman trapped in the body of a child.

That was Rin, except as a man, mind you.

I was a child with my whole life ahead of me- I think I should stop worrying about the inevitable, as it won't get me anywhere.

And neither will complaining.

Stop your bitching and just get on with it! The same voice hissed.

I blinked, then narrowed my eyes. I stared down at my bowl of food morosely, then picked up my chopsticks and set to eating my breakfast quietly.

The rice, like I had said earlier, tasted like nothing. The distinctive taste was nothing. And I wasn't interested in it in the least.

When I was finished, I set my chopsticks back onto the table and took hold of the cup.

I took a sip. Water. Another thing I disliked.

Water had no distinctive taste either. It was as if Rin was sucking the happiness out from me.

Plain rice and tasteless water. So plain.

I wasn't even allowed tea! How was I going to survive?!

I sighed a little, then straightened when I heard Hiroshi chuckle for what seemed like the infinite time this morning.

I turned to glare at him, "Stop laughing at me!" I snapped.

Hiroshi continued to giggle while I continued to glare, "Seriously, Yū-chan," he said, "How many times have you asked me that?"

"About a million times already," I grumbled, turning away from him and crossing my arms across my chest.

I imagined Hiroshi to nod at my words, for he said, "Yeah, I know."

"Just like you've laughed at me a million times," I pointed out.

When I turned to look at him, his smile was unapologetic, and when he inclined his head slightly, I could see that his sightless eyes were crinkled.

"Yeah," I muttered, "You're really not sorry."

Hiroshi straightened up, the faint smile that he had inherited from his father still in place, "Why would I be?" he asked, "I haven't done anything wrong."

"No, you really haven't."

I paused for a few seconds to grin at him, then said, "No, really, how do you survive on this? It's so… so plain and icky!"

He laughed for the millionth time that day, "You get used to it, I guess," he admitted a few seconds later.

I rolled my eyes, then got to my feet and picked up my bowl, "Where do I put this?" I asked, "Does your Dad have some place where he washes them?"

"Hm?" Hiroshi got to his feet, picked up his bowl, walked past me and said, "Oh, yes! Otou-sama makes me wash my own dishes."

I stared at his back for a second.

Honestly, I was at a loss of words.

Since Hiroshi washes his own dishes, does that mean he's been doing it since he was young? I mean, I wash my own dishes to give Mum a break as she has a three year old to look after. But what about Hiroshi?

I then realised that said boy was currently far ahead of me and, with a muttered curse, I hurried after him.

I came to a stop beside him to see him carefully scraping his bowl clean.

"How can you even do that?" I asked, "I mean, you can't even see what you're doing. So how can you wash your own dishes?"

The corners of his lips quirked up, "Practise," he said simply, "Lots and lots of practise."

I rolled my eyes and placed my bowl in the sink, "Right," I said, "Practise. That seems to be the only thing everyone's doing these days. Practising."

Hiroshi chuckled and then moved out of the way so that I could wash my bowl. I did so, while he leaned against the counter silently.

When I was finished I placed it next to where Hiroshi had set his, then said, "Well, I should get going. Training and all that," I laughed a little nervously as I thought of the argument Kazuki and I had had.

We had been so cold toward each other, and it had gone on long enough.

It was time to make up.

"Me, too," Hiroshi answered, "We've been eating for long enough. We should go and get ready."

I approached him and quickly hugged him, feeling him tense slightly under my touch, "Don't be a stranger, Hiroshi-kun," I said softly, "I hardly ever get to see you, and when I have my days off, you're not on a day off, so, please, don't be a stranger."

I felt him pat my back a bit awkwardly before I pulled back. Hiroshi sure wasn't a fan for physical contact, was he?

"Okay," he murmured, "I won't be a stranger." He brightened a little as if he had just remembered something exciting, "Anyway, you'll probably be seeing a lot of me now that you're going to become Otou-sama's apprentice."

I blinked, only just coming to that realisation, "Oh," I said, then grinned, "Well, I'll see you later then. I have training and I have to go home and get ready."

I waved him goodbye and left the house, knowing that Rin would know that I would return soon enough.

I reached home in record time and, just as I'd predicted, as soon as I'd opened the door, I was glomped by a blur of red.

"Yūyū!" Akito cried as he fell into my arms.

I laughed and pulled him to my chest, "Good morning, Akito-chan," I smiled.

"You stayin' home today?" he chirped.

I put him at arm's length, "Sorry, Akito-chan," I replied, "I have training today. Besides, I have to makeup with my sensei."

"Did you have a fight?" he wondered.

"Yeah," I nodded, "A really big one. And I don't feel very good about myself after it."

"Why?"

I stared at him, wondering just why I was confiding in my three year old little brother, then I sighed, "I said a lot of really bad things, Akito-chan. Some things that can't be taken back. And I also did some pretty horrible things on that mission, and now, after it, I'm wondering why I even decided to become a ninja in the first place."

Suddenly, Akito smiled, and he wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning his head against my shoulder, "Jus' be yourself, Yūyū," he mumbled.

I stood there for a minute before my little brother pulled away from me, "Kaa-chan made breakfast," he informed me matter-of-factly.

"Sorry, Akito-chan," I waved him off, "I've already eaten."

"Oh," he visibly deflated, then grinned after a few seconds, "More for me then!"

I chuckled at his departing back and then headed for my room. I quickly changed my clothes and tied my head band around my forehead. I was in the process of tying up my hair when the door suddenly opened and I heard Mum gasp.

"Oh, Yū-chan! What have you done to your neck?!" She sounded horrified, and I grimaced, unhappy that she had seen the bruises from Rei's fingers.

She hurried over to me, her hands reaching out to ghost over my neck, then she pulled me closer and took my face in her hands, "Are those from fingers?!"

I didn't reply, and that only made Mum more frantic.

"Answer me, Yūmaru!" she demanded.

"I don't want to talk about it!" I yelled back, shrugging her hands off of my face.

I turned away from her so that she wouldn't see my face, and I sighed heavily as she said, somewhat hesitantly, "What… what happened on that mission, Yūmaru? Kazuki wouldn't tell me anything-"

"Kazuki was here?!" I interrupted, whirling around to face her.

Mum looked surprised at my sudden interruption when I had been so unwilling to talk to her only moments before, but she quickly composed herself, "Yes," she breathed, "She was here only this morning. She said that your entire team has a day off and to not bother to come to training."

I raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Yes, really," Mum hesitated, then gently asked, "What happened when you were away, Yūmaru? What happened that was so bad that you can't talk about?"

I felt a sudden burning in my eyes, and I snapped, "I killed someone, that's what!"

I think I must have shocked Mum into silence, for her eyes were and her mouth was agape, stuttering useless words.

I clenched my hands into fists as I drove myself to forget the images plunging into my head.

I remembered his body, the hole in his throat, and his last words. "Rei'll kill you." I shook my head quickly, then pushed past my mother.

"Yūmaru?" her voice was sharp, "Where are you going?! You have the day off!"

I looked over my shoulder, "I need to apologise to Kazuki," I answered quickly, "For all the things I said and did."

Mum frowned at me, "Can't that wait? You only just home, spend some time to relax."

I gave her a pleading look, "Kaa-chan, please."

Mum sighed heavily, "Alright, alright," she muttered, "You'll find her at the hospital, she mentioned going there when she left."

I gave her a grateful smile, "Thank you, Kaa-chan."

Mum smiled tightly, "Don't be out too late, your brother will be missing you."

I rushed toward her and have her a one armed hug and quickly kissed her on the cheek, "Right," I nodded, "I understand. I just want to apologise to her, is all."

Mum nodded and waved me away, then said, "Wear a scarf around that neck, Yūmaru. I don't think you want people to wonder about how you got those marks."

"Can't I just cover it with my hair?" I winced at how ungrateful I sounded, then said, "Fine. I'll wear a scarf."

It was easy enough to find one. All Mum did was venture into her room and come out a few moments later, a deep black scarf hanging from her hands.

She slowly wrapped it around my neck, brushed my hair from my face, and smiled at me, "There," she murmured, "Matches your eyes."

I was slightly amused at that, "I should be going then."

Mum quickly kissed my forehead, and then I left.

It wasn't hard enough to find Kazuki when I reached the hospital. All I had to do was ask the receptionist when I flashed her my head band.

She looked mildly concerned when she saw how old I was, but told me the room number anyway.

Now, I stood in front of the door, my stomach churning. What was I supposed to say to her? 'Oh, Kazuki-sensei, I'm so sorry, I pray to the depths of the earth that you'll forgive me'?

I inwardly snorted. Nope.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and Kazuki stood in the doorway.

My hand was raised to knock, and the both of us were frozen.

Kazuki looked stunned to see me, and the sentiment was echoed- I hadn't expected her to open the door so suddenly when I hadn't even knocked!

A flash of something went through her eyes, and she opened her mouth to speak, only for me to cut her off.

"I'm sorry!" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Kazuki looked at me in surprise, while I felt my face flush, "Stupid," I muttered, "That's what I am, so stupid."

"You came all the way here to apologise?" Kazuki finally.

I chewed my lip, then nodded, "Yeah," I replied, "I said some really horrible things to you on that mission, and… and I'm sorry."

Kazuki was silent for a long time, and that worried me.

Finally, after several minutes had passed, I'd had enough, "You know what," I announced loudly, "If you hate me… fine. I get it-"

"Whoever said that I hated you?" Kazuki snapped in almost disgust.

I flinched ever so slightly as she advanced on me. I shut my eyes in anticipation, but when I felt hands on my shoulders, my eyes flew open in shock, veering up to stare Kazuki in the face.

"Uh…" I trailed off, and I knew that I couldn't answer her question.

"Really, Yūmaru-chan," she whispered, "When have I ever said that I hate you?"

"Um… never?" I offered.

My sensei sighed loudly, "I'm still angry with you," she told me, "But not as much as I was before you came to apologise to me. And I think I should apologise, too."

I blinked, then held up my hands, "Uh, no, you don't have to do that, Sensei-"

"Oh, shut up, Yūmaru-chan, and just accept my apology, will you?" Kazuki snapped.

"Uh…" I glanced wildly around her, still not sure what to say, then I blurted out the most stupid thing that my brain could think up, "Hiroshi's Dad asked me to become his apprentice!"

Kazuki froze at that declaration, and her hands slid from my shoulders.

Oh, shit, I mentally cursed, shit, shit, shit. I think I just pissed her off even more!

Kazuki was the picture pf calmness when I finally dared to take a peek at her face.

But I knew that looks could be deceiving.

"… what?" she finally asked, glaring down at me with hard eyes.

"I-I haven't given him an answer yet!" I answered quickly, hoping to tone down the sudden anger in her eyes, "I needed to see if it was alright with you first!"

Abruptly, her eyes softened, and she sighed, "Am I really that bad of a teacher that you have to resort to other methods?" She sounded sad. Shit, Yūmaru! She thinks you hate her! Better fix this quick!

"I never said that, did I?" I snapped, "Besides, I only want to say yes because I know he can teach me more. That's to say that you aren't a bad teacher. You're a brilliant teacher, Kazuki, and I know Yashamaru and Sasori will benefit hugely from you!"

I paused for a second, then said, "Am I forgiven then? For saying all that stuff to you and going behind your back?"

Kazuki was silent for a second or two, before saying, "Correction, we're both forgiven."

Then, she pulled me close, and I welcomed it.