Dogmeat

Janus grinned as he watched Ethan set up shop in Sunnydale. It had only taken a few nudges to encourage him to act. He quite liked Ethan even though he could be a bit of a bastard at times he admitted with a chuckle. Suddenly hands clasped themselves over all four of his eyes.

"Guess who?" a voice rang out, a bit muffled so Janus couldn't immediately place it.

"Hmm, you'd have to be powerful to be able to sneak up on me," Janus said. "And to get the eyes on both my faces at once means multiple hands, so I'm guessing Hindu, which narrows it down to two, as most of the pantheon doesn't have enough power and humor to bother to pull this off."

"Give up?"

That night…

Xander put on the fatigues and dog tags he'd found in a small box in the basement, glad that his mother's pack rat tendencies had come through for him again. Still he had to wonder, what kind of name was Remo anyway?"

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Remo stumbled and shook off the wave of dizziness that had hit him and froze in shock. He wasn't in his body!

"Xander! Xander!" the red headed girl started running up to him.

Remo quickly took stock of the situation, he was in an unknown situation in the body of a pansy in the midst of god knows what. "The name's Remo miss," he said calmly, hiding his confusion.

"Oh no, it got you too!" she worried.

"What got me?"

"Listen carefully, you aren't who you think you are," she said quickly. "Your name is Xander Harris and you dressed as a soldier for Halloween but something's gone wrong and we've all turned into our costumes."

"What did you dress as?" he asked, his eyes running up and down her skimpily dressed form.

Willow blushed heavily. "I had this on under my ghost costume."

A scream rang out from a girl with some impressive lungs.

"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed. "Please you have to help me save Buffy!"

"Let's go," Remo said moving the body he was in as fast as he deemed safe since it lacked his, or any in his opinion, conditioning.

Willow blessed her incorporealness, as being able to run through objects was the only thing that allowed her to keep up with Xander, who seemed to glide over and around obstacles like they didn't exist.

Remo took in the scene at a glance seeing a young lady in medieval garb cowering against a tree as what appeared to be two small red horned devils taunted her.

"They're children!" Willow cried out as he raised the rifle he was carrying to fire.

Fortunately he caught her words in time to shift his aim, sending a line of bullets to stitch the ground in front of the two devils and send them fleeing.

"Everyone turned into their costume, remember?" Willow asked anxiously.

"Non-lethal," he replied with a nod as he decided he was going to find out who was behind this and make his feelings about trying to trick him into harming children known.

"Buffy, we're here to rescue you," Willow said.

The young lady dressed as a noblewoman looked at the way Willow was dressed.

Ten minutes later…

"Drop her there," Willow said pointing to Buffy's bed. "How long will she be out for?"

Remo set the spoiled noble on her bed. "Until well after sunrise," he replied as they left, locking the door behind them.

"Thanks for…" she trailed off unable to think of how she should put it.

"It's no problem," he assured her. "I'm sure she's normally a barrel of laughs, but royalty is generally scum."

"Thanks," she said and a scream sounded from just outside the house.

"Hold that thought," he said with some amusement before gliding down stairs and out the front door in an unhurried pace that Willow couldn't keep up with.

By the time Willow managed to reach the front door it was over and Remo was escorting Cordelia up the walk. Cordelia was of course complaining about her costume being damaged and acting like it was Xander's fault.

Thirty seconds later…

"Just put her there," Willow said, pointing to Mrs. Summer's bed.

Remo placed her on the bed.

"She's going to be seriously angry when she wakes up," Willow said.

"She gets worse?" Remo asked doubtfully.

"Kind of? Louder anyway," she replied as the two went downstairs.

"Now what?" he asked when they reached the living room.

"Now I go get Giles while you keep them safe," Willow said. "I can't be touched so I'll be fine."

Remo opened his mouth to say something but instead spun around and leapt at the figure that just entered the room.

Angel was just entering the living room when a green blur hit him and he found himself on the floor with Xander Harris on top of him.

"Don't tell me this one's in costume?" Remo asked, a hand drawn back like a snake above Angel's heart.

"No, but he's a friend," she quickly said.

"A blood drinker?" Remo asked, doubt in his voice.

"Cursed by gypsies to have a soul and help us hunt vampires," she quickly rattled off.

Xander's eyes looked like chips of obsidian as he stared at Angel as if weighing his soul. "Why are you here?"

"I came to make sure Buffy was ok," Angel said slowly. "It's chaos out there."

Xander got up off Angel, satisfied by the resolve in his voice. "He can guard them, let's go."

"I-I don't want you to get hurt, or get my Xander hurt," Willow said worriedly.

"I've yet to see anything I would consider a threat," he promised her. "The sooner we get this done the sooner you get him back."

"Ok," Willow said, "Follow me."

The two set off at a quick jog, since Willow wasn't a track star and could only run so fast despite not having a body. Fortunately Buffy's house wasn't all that far from the high school and they made it in record time with Willow beating Xander inside and causing Giles to spill his coffee.

Remo made it inside just in time to hear Giles say, "Ethan that bloody bastard. You stay here; I'll take care of this."

"I'm going with you," Remo said. "I have a few words to say to the man who almost made me hurt children."

"I-" Giles began when he caught Xander's eyes and found himself backing down. "Fine, but I get to beat him first."

Remo followed Giles outside. "What is that?" he asked as he spotted Giles' car.

"It's a classic," Giles said with a scowl.

Remo backed off, hiding his amusement. "Classic doesn't mean speedy," he pointed out.

"Just get in," Giles ordered. Shortly the two were off at speeds Remo was pretty sure he could match even if the body he was in was woefully out of shape.

Remo wondered briefly if he took all this in stride because he had run across stranger things or because the body he was in was used to such things. How much of a person was body and how much was soul?

While Giles muttered things that boded ill for Ethan's continued ability to not piss blood, Remo concentrated on his breathing. The body he was in breathed all wrong, robbing it of most of its strength. Rather than have to keep his concentration split to ensure he breathed correctly, he took the opportunity to program his subconscious to engrave it in muscle memory.

"We're here," Giles said pulling to a stop in front of Ethan's costume shop.

Typing by : The Last Primarch!

AN: I also haven't seen enough Destroyer crosses!