Shipping War
Xander looked at his limited budget for a costume and decided he'd have to be creative. Looking through the odds and ends he began to smile. "Hey, Willow!" he called out to get her attention.
"Yeah, Xander?" Willow asked attentively, abandoning Buffy's cooing over a medieval dress to pay attention to the boy she loved.
"You got that light-up Mabel sweater off eBay, right?"
"Yeah, why… We could dress as the mystery twins!" Willow squealed.
"Exactly what I was thinking," Xander agreed, picking up a baseball cap with a pine tree on it, a large crystal, and a bolo tie with a round green stone.
"We aren't going as the reverse Pines or the gleeful twins, right?" she half asked half stated.
"God, no!" he said with a shudder. "I just hate how they use some amazing item, use it once, and then it's never seen again."
"Good," Willow said relieved. "I can't imagine dressing as evil, slutty, Mabel."
"Even if you like the pairing?" Xander asked, arching an eyebrow.
"They are like the perfect couple," Willow said.
"Except for being brother and sister," Xander said pointedly.
"Exactly!" Willow beamed. "Except for that one meaningless detail, they are perfect for one another!"
"What are you two talking about?" Buffy asked.
"Shipping war," Xander replied.
"What?" Buffy asked.
"We are fans of a show but disagree on who the main characters should be in a relationship with," Willow explained.
"Ohh," Buffy said in understanding.
"Well they are-" Xander began.
"Ahem!" Willow interrupted him. "I'd like a chance to educate her on the specifics without you poisoning her mind."
"Just remember," Xander told Buffy.
"Yes?"
"Don't drink the Kool-Aid."
Willow groaned but Ethan, who'd been lurking nearby, burst out laughing. "First ten dollars of accessories is on me," he said wiping away tears of laughter from his eyes.
"Combine that oversized squirt gun with that small plastic-" Xander began.
"Grappling hook!" she cheered and she and Xander laughed.
"That's about all you need for your outfit," Xander said.
"If you are going to have the size altering flashlight and magic amulet I want Mabel Gleefull's magic headband as well."
"I thought you were avoiding slutty, evil, magician girl?" Xander asked.
"Yes, however Mabel who was smart enough to only pretend to destroy it while pocketing it, so she could help keep her love safe is another matter altogether."
"New Mabel and classic Dipper," Xander said with a chuckle.
"Are we gonna use a Henna tattoo on your forehead?" Willow asked.
"Those last weeks, we'll use a marker," Xander decided. "And while I'm skipping the tattoos, I do want a bone spear."
"President's key?" Willow asked.
"You can carry that to even things out, 'cause I'm carrying journal zero," Xander said.
"That is such a cheat," Willow groaned.
"More like pointing out what a cheat the journal is, since it's always got what they need to know. Mine requires a roll of the dice and Pine blood to work," Xander said.
"Tree sap or maple syrup?" Buffy asked.
"You go indoctrinate Buffy into your cult, I'm going to get my costume together," Xander told her.
"Can I carry Larry King's head?" Willow asked.
"You're going to sacrifice it to make Lebam, aren't you?" Xander asked.
"I'll fake a torn out page from the journal and some magic ingredients," Willow replied. "But yeah, I was thinking pre-clone ritual items."
"Then I get to carry Tyrone," Xander said.
"Not paper jam Dipper?" Willow teased.
"That'd be cruel," Xander said with a shudder.
"Are you as lost as I am?" Buffy asked Ethan.
"More," Ethan said. "But it's nice to see someone with some imagination for once."
"Yeah," Buffy said, wondering if she should spice up her own costume.
"I have all the videos on my computer, we'll watch them real quick. Trust me, you'll love them!" Willow enthused.
"It is a great series," Xander agreed.
"And you two are just arguing over?" Ethan asked to make sure he understood.
"Shipping," Willow and Xander chorused.
"Come on," Willow said excitedly dragging Buffy out the door.
"You mean like the arguments over who Kirk should be with?" Ethan asked.
"Exactly," Xander said.
"I'm not much for stories about two men," Ethan said, "but I got a Kirk-Spock vibe in some of the shows."
"James T. 'boldly going where no man has gone before' Kirk?" Xander asked in disbelief.
"He was trying much too hard, like he was covering for something," Ethan said. "Besides they deliberately put in a few things here and there to keep people guessing and arguing. It kept people watching."
"Huh, never thought of that," Xander said.
"Plus, as a species we are so obsessed with sex we tend to see it everywhere," Ethan admitted.
"Still the two main characters in Gravity Falls are brother and sister, twins," Xander explained.
"That doesn't help, male female twins are often seen as soul mates, that complete each other, in many myths and legends," Ethan explained. "People pretend not to believe it anymore but they still do to a degree."
"People are strange," Xander said.
"Life would be boring if they weren't," Ethan said with a smile.
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
Xander looked over Willow's costume with a wide grin, completely missing Buffy's entrance in her princess outfit. "I am impressed, you make a good Mabel."
Willow beamed. "Thanks, Broseph. I had to make my own Larry King head out of paper mache, but I got it all done."
"My journal took some effort as well," Xander pointed out.
Willow laughed. "You made that months ago."
"Which does not make it any less work," Xander said.
"Ahem!" Buffy said drawing attention to herself.
"Buffy!" Xander said cheerfully. "So, how did the viewing go?"
Buffy was a little annoyed he didn't comment on her dress but recognized the fanatic's gleam in the eyes of both her friends. "It was actually pretty good and Willow was right, they do make a good couple, even if they are pretending to be brother and sister so they can vacation together and keep making each other jealous through various schemes."
"Pretending? Schemes?" Xander asked.
"Yeah," Buffy agreed. "Like how Mabel keeps making him choose between her and Wendy and he always chooses her or how she keeps dating weird guys that he finds excuses to go after."
"Willow?" Xander asked arching an eyebrow.
"What?" Willow asked innocently before caving. "OK, I left one little detail out and may have put a spin on things, but that was all pre-viewing! So she is on my side of the war."
"What did I miss?" Buffy asked.
"They aren't pretending to be brother and sister to go on vacation together, they are twins," Xander said.
Buffy frowned. "Kinda squicky," she admitted after a moment's thought, "but… now I'm torn, I'll have to watch the entire series again, because they looked like a great couple. Except for the whole sibling thing they'd be perfect."
"But they are siblings," Xander said with a grin.
"They aren't real," Willow said. "Cartoon DNA doesn't count."
"Well at any rate, it's time to go," Buffy said.
Willow grabbed Xander's hand, causing him to give her a curious look. "You wouldn't let your sister walk around unescorted at night, would you?" she grinned, seeing a way she could flirt and be 'in character' which let her be bolder than she usually was.
"That would be unbrotherly of me," Xander admitted.
Willow wrapped an arm around his waist.
He chuckled. "We are going to traumatize any kids that are fans of the show."
"We can always hide out in Sweater-Town," Willow offered with a smirk as Xander blushed.
Buffy grinned, she didn't really care about who was paired up in the cartoon, this pairing however was one she'd been hoping to see!
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
Dipper stared around him in shock. One moment he was talking to Mabel and the next he was on the corner of Suberbia and Halloween, considering the monsters and chaos surrounding them. A werewolf howled and charged him, but a panicked twitch sent him flying and he suddenly felt really agro and barely stopped himself from chasing after it. A quick search of his person showed he was wearing Gideon's mystic amulet, carrying the bone spear of the manotaur's, and had the size altering flashlight on his belt. He wasn't just loaded for bear, he was loaded for Multi-Bear and multiple ones at that!
He felt a surge of confusion and fear through the amulet that he found himself running towards, knowing instinctively it was Mabel. Several large monsters got in his way, but he had his spear and as Gruncle Stan said 'a smack over the head is nature's snooze button!'
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
Mabel stumbled and almost fell over backwards as her backpack practically exploded, dumping a naked redhead and a handful of items on the ground.
The redhead shrieked and snatched up the emergency ghost costume and put it on.
"That was not fun," the disembodied wax head of Larry King noted.
Mabel quickly gathered up the wax head and noticed all the ingredients needed to call up her fetch, as was detailed on the page in her hand, were gone, except for Larry King's head. "You don't look like me," she complained to the blushing teen wearing just a ghost outfit.
"If you look in a mirror you'll find you look exactly like me," she replied. "You aren't you!"
"Then who am I?" Mabel demanded.
"I dressed as you for Halloween or you dressed as Mabel Pines. You had everything in your bag to summon your fetch, but since you're actually me, you summoned my fetch. Just call me Willow for now," she quickly rattled off, her mind awhirl with conflicting thoughts.
"I-" Mabel pulled out her sweater and looked inside. "Holy crap, I've got a rack! Wait till Dipper sees these!"
Willow, having the memory of both Mabel and Willow couldn't help but grin. The two personalities were almost the exact opposites of one another confident where each other were shy, knowledgeable where the other was ignorant and those two sides quickly merged into a stronger whole.
A dark haired teen arrived making a six foot leap over a wooden fence to reach them. "Mabel?" he cried out worriedly.
"Dipper! Xander!" the two squealed quickly throwing their arms around him.
"Mabel?" he asked, confused. He could feel her, but these two teens weren't Mabel shaped, even if one was dressed like her and some of the feelings he was getting from her were definitely unsibling like and kinda freaking him out, not to mention a libido that seemed to have awakened and was acting like Godzilla stomping through his frontal lobe like it was Tokyo.
"Yes, yes and no," the two chorused.
"You're possessing my boyfriend's body," Willow told him. "And Mabel is possessing mine. We dressed as you two for Halloween and we became you for some reason."
"And you said twelve was too old to trick or treat," Mabel said with a grin.
"OK, I may have been wrong," he admitted trying to calm his hormones. "How do we return things to normal? And why are you in two bodies?" he asked confused.
"Mabel was going to summon her fetch," Willow explained. "Of course since this is the Hellmouth things didn't exactly go to plan."
"Fetches are dangerous!" Dipper exploded.
"Only if they get rejected and you wouldn't reject me, would you?" Mabel asked staring into Dipper's eyes.
Pushing aside all the lust and confusion he looked into her eyes and found himself smiling, even if they weren't her normal ones. "No, I would never push you away."
Mabel pulled his face down to her and didn't let him up until he was thoroughly kissed.
"Now I'm traumatized," he said calmly as he became even more conflicted and confused.
"Mystery now, pop sister's cherry later," Willow said.
"Right!" Dipper agreed. "Wait what?!" he exclaimed as they drug him off.
The Next Day
Giles had missed all the excitement and spent the night relaxing and updating files so he was a bit surprised at the sight of the four teens waiting for him when he entered the library that morning. "What did I miss?" he asked as he took in Buffy's almost regal bearing and Xander being sandwiched by twin Willows.
"We all got turned into our costumes last night," Xander explained.
"And the reasons there are two Willows?" Giles asked.
"I'm a fetch," one of the Willow's offered.
"Which still doesn't tell me anything," Buffy complained.
"Fetches were once categorized as demons, but the latest theory is that they are the physical manifestation of the soul's shadow on the astral plane," Giles explained. "You do know the dangers, right?"
"Only if rejected," Willow said smugly. "And we are awesome!"
Xander looked tired and his neck was ringed with hickeys. "I have to agree, but I may die of exhaustion."
"Love me like a sister," Willow muttered with a snicker.
"As long as you aren't bleeders it's of no consequence," Buffy waved it off, with medieval royalty's view on inbreeding.
"Royalty?" Giles asked.
"Yes, why?" Buffy asked.
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
Dipper stared at the ceiling. "Mabel?"
"Yes, Dipper?" came the amused reply from the other bed.
"Our teen years are going to be even crazier, aren't they?"
"Yes they are," Mabel said cheerfully.
"He had some good ideas about how we should arm ourselves," Dipper said.
"And she had some good ideas about…" she trailed off for a moment causing Dipper to tense up, "research."
Dipper groaned, knowing Mabel's teasing was only going to get worse.
"Still in a hurry to grow up?" Mabel asked with a grin in her voice.
"No, I think I'll enjoy being the age I am," he said with a sigh.
"Good," Mabel said smugly.
"Did you make a fetch?" he asked.
"Well…"
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
"So other than Buffy's knowledge of medieval society and there now being two Willows, there are no lasting effects?" Giles asked.
"Well…" Xander said slowly pulling a jar out of his backpack and putting it on the table.
Giles stared at the half dozen tiny people inside.
A/N: Gotta love how people argue about pairings!
Typing by: Bankrupt Samurai