Season 1 Episode 13.
Story 13: Until the Day I Die
Chapter 3: Not So Discrete
After that, it was impossible to hide their feelings for one another. They had tried. They knew they could never be together and they tried to stay away from one another. The tension was so unbearable, they didn't make it more than four days before they cracked.
Eventually they came up with a solution. Neither liked the fact that Merlin had to be a secret, but Arthur knew there was no other way. He feared the danger Merlin would be put in if people knew that the prince was in a relationship with a man. They had decided that when Arthur became king, he would let his people know he was in a relationship with a man, but he wouldn't tell them who. Depending on their reaction, he would decide whether to tell them it was Merlin.
They both agreed this precaution was a necessary one. It was of utmost importance that no one find out about Merlin until they were certain he wouldn't be harmed.
They thought they were being so discrete and that no one knew they were sneaking around to have a relationship. They were so very, very wrong.
The first person to find out was Gaius.
It was nearly two years after the incident at the Isle of the Blessed. Representatives from all five kingdoms gathered to sign a treaty of peace, an unprecedented event. The Lady Vivian had traveled with her father to Camelot and Arthur had become besotted with her. Merlin had instantly known that Arthur was under the influence of a love potion or spell. When Gaius asked how, Merlin simply told him that he just knew.
Gaius accepted that answer and began to help Merlin with his arduous task of finding an antidote to bring Arthur back to his senses. When they found out that Arthur would be battling King Olaf for the right to Lady Vivian's hand, Merlin continued his search with a renewed vigor. Gaius had never seen him so upset. It was as if this were tearing him apart. Gaius kept his observations to himself. He didn't want to upset Merlin further by prying into it. Eventually, they had to accept that without knowing what type of potion was used on him there would be no way to cure him.
Merlin sighed. He knew what he had to do. He had to consult with Kilgharrah. "I'll be back," Merlin told Gaius as he jumped to his feet. He didn't have any more time to spare.
Merlin snuck down to Kilgharrah and in a rush explained what had happened. Kilgharrah spoke in riddle which irritated Merlin more than usual. Arthur's life was on the line! And Kilgharrah was spewing out things like, "there is only one force on Earth more powerful than magic."
Finally when Merlin couldn't take it anymore, he snapped. "Just tell me!" He shouted. He was frustrated because he has had to watch the man he loves pursue a romance with an awful woman. He just wanted to know how to fix him, but Kilgharrah preferred to have the answer dangle just out of reach.
The great dragon seemed surprised by the venom in Merlin's voice. "Isn't it obvious? The greatest force of all is love," Kilgharrah told Merlin.
"Love?" Merlin asked incredulously. Love is what got them into this mess.
"You must find the person Arthur truly loves," Kilgharrah explained. "One kiss from her…"
Merlin didn't hear the rest of what Kilgharrah had said, he was already running away. He ignored the fact that Kilgharrah assumed it had to be a woman that Arthur loves most. He knew now that he had the power to end this.
Merlin ran to where the tournament was being held. He didn't see anyone fighting on the field and he could see the viewers talking amongst themselves. Merlin knew that meant there must be a break in the fighting. That meant Arthur would be in his tent. Merlin entered without announcing himself. He wasn't surprised to see Gaius patching up Arthur's wounds.
"Merlin," Arthur said with a dazed smile. "Are you here to wish me luck in my fight for the Lady Vivian?"
"Gaius, I need you to leave us," Merlin said quietly.
Gaius nodded. He paused as he passed Merlin. "Did you figure out how to help him?" Gaius asked hopefully.
Merlin nodded. "There's only one thing that can combat a spell that has captured one's heart," Merlin said. He didn't offer any more information and Gaius didn't ask for more.
Gaius stood outside puzzling over Merlin's words. He had heard something about combatting love potions when he had studied magic as a boy. It was on the tip of his memory. He could remember learning it, but he couldn't remember what it was.
Inside the tent, Merlin had stormed up to Arthur. He had pushed him up against one of the support beams inside the tent. Merlin crushed his lips to Arthur's. For a moment nothing happened and Merlin feared he had been wrong. He feared that Arthur's feelings for him weren't the same as his feelings for Arthur.
Then Arthur was kissing him back. After a moment Arthur pulled back. "What the hell happened?" He asked. He winced as he felt the impact of his injuries.
"You're fighting for the Lady Vivian's hand in marriage," Merlin told him.
Arthur's eyes widened. "I… Lady Vivian… marriage? What?" Arthur yelped. He put his hand to his head, hoping with all his might that he might have imagined what Merlin just said.
"Listen Arthur," Merlin said urgently. "This is Alined's doing. He doesn't want peace, he wants war. You mustn't kill Olaf and you mustn't let him kill you else Camelot and all the kingdoms be doomed."
"I must tell my father," Arthur said. "Alined will be punished."
"No!" Merlin shouted. "Weren't you listening? If you expose Alined you will be setting yourself up for war!"
"So I'm just supposed to ignore what he did to me?" Arthur asked incredulously.
"Yes," Merlin said softly. "If you won't do it for peace, do it for me. Please don't say anything to your father. If you do, you would have to tell him how the spell was broken. There's no easy way to say your manservant is your true love."
Arthur's jaw stiffened, but eventually he agreed. He let out an angry growl. "Can't you at least make Alined cough up toads or something?" Arthur asked hopefully.
Merlin chuckled. "No, I won't do that," he said with a smile. He was glad Arthur's sense of humor returned. A horn sounded, indicating it was time for Arthur to return to the field. Merlin kissed him gently. "Don't die. For me, don't die."
"I won't," Arthur promised as he left the tent.
Merlin left to go stand by Gaius and watch the tournament. Every blow against Arthur made Merlin wince. He feared Arthur would not be able to stop King Olaf from killing him.
His fears proved incorrect. Arthur feinted and managed to knock Olaf's sword out of his hand. Arthur threw his own sword to the side.
"It is not war I seek, but peace. I am sorry for my ignorance. I hope that this will not damage the peace we have come here to forge," Arthur said loudly so all could hear him. He offered his hand to Olaf.
Olaf accepted it and allowed Arthur to pull him to his feet. "What changed your mind?" Olaf asked him curiously.
"I realized that I was allowing my whims to affect my judgment. We came here to sign a peace treaty between the five great nations, not to force ourselves to war," Arthur told him. "I was overwhelmed when the Lady Vivian expressed her affections for me. I have never been in that position before and I did not respond appropriately."
Olaf chuckled lightly. "It happens to the best of us," he said in an understanding tone. "You have a good head on your shoulders, something you didn't acquire from your father."
"No," Arthur agreed, making eye contact with Merlin and shooting him a small smile. Gaius glanced at Merlin and was surprised to see the pride and affection present in his expression.
It was then that Gaius remembered. The only way to combat a spell that has ensnared the heart is with true love's kiss. It was like a light bulb went off in his head.
He finally understood.
The second person to find out was Gwen.
She had been running errands in Camelot. Since Morgana had betrayed Arthur and Camelot, Gwen hasn't had a specific job to do. She was still a servant in the royal household, but she had much more free time now.
She was walking past the stables when she heard two voices arguing. It didn't seem violent, but Gwen paused just to make sure. If she thought two men were going to fight, she would fetch the guards. The last thing they needed was for the stable helps to kill each other.
When she listened closer, she was shocked to hear that it was Merlin and Arthur that were fighting. "You promised," Merlin had said. Gwen was surprised to hear how upset he sounded. "You promised that you would refuse to marry."
Gwen frowned. News of Arthur's engagement to the Princess Elena had spread through the kingdom like wildfire. She couldn't understand why Merlin was so upset. It's not like he would have to stop serving Arthur once he married. Merlin's job would be safe. Unless Arthur had decided that he wouldn't need a servant when he had a wife. In that case, Merlin's fear may have been justified. He had worked for the prince for a very long time. Finding new work would be difficult for him. Then again, he worked for the prince. It was the highest position a servant could hold, after being servant to a king. If Merlin needed work, many would be honored to take him on.
Feeling immensely guilty, Gwen continued to listen. "I didn't have a choice," Arthur said. "My father tricked me. I had no intention of marrying Elena, but he forced me into it. Do you know what he told me when I told him I didn't have feelings for her? He told me to find some."
"So what now?" Merlin asked furiously. "Am I supposed to serve you and your future bride? Am I supposed to stand aside and let this happen?"
"No," Arthur said quietly. He spoke so quietly that Gwen had to strain to hear his words. "I'm sorry that this is happening. I don't want you to be hurt. If it would be easier on you, you could leave."
Gwen knew she shouldn't keep listening, but she couldn't stop herself. It was like when she was reading one of the few books her father had been able to afford. She couldn't pull herself away.
"Or you could not marry Lady Elena," Merlin retorted. "I can't leave, you know that as well as I do. And I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave you."
Gwen's jaw dropped. She felt as if she had just placed the last piece of a very confusing puzzle. She knows what their words were implying, but it couldn't be true. It wasn't possible. A relationship such as theirs was unheard of.
"I don't want you to leave," Arthur said honestly. "But I would rather that than have to look at you every day and see how much my relationship with Elena is hurting you. I cannot go against my father's wishes. It would shatter the alliance with Lord Godwyn."
"Arthur, please," Merlin whispered. Gwen was shocked by how broken Merlin's voice sounded.
Arthur sighed. "I love you Merlin, but even love can't save us this time," he said sadly.
"I refuse to accept that," Merlin said. Gwen was only given a split second warning before she heard the stable door being pushed open. Gwen rushed to the side of the stables so she wouldn't be seen. She stood there for a moment with her hand on her head, unable to comprehend what she had just heard. It made so much sense, yet the idea of a relationship of two men seemed so foreign to her. She closed her eyes, accepting what she had heard.
She finally understood.
Next was Lancelot. He discovered their secret when the Dorocha attacked Merlin. He could see it in Arthur. In the way that Arthur panicked when Merlin had been hit by a Dorocha. By the way that when Lancelot looked back, Arthur was watching Merlin ride away as if part of his heart were on that horse as well.
While they were resting on their way back to Camelot, he heard Merlin whispering in his sleep about Arthur and his need to keep Arthur safe, but it wasn't until a whispered, "Arthur I love you" that Lancelot realized the truth. Lancelot kept what he heard to himself, he never shared it with Merlin. When he stepped through the veil, it wasn't for Arthur, nor for the promise he had made to Gwen. It was for the greatest, most noble man he had ever met. For the man that deserved love and happiness more than any other. It was for Merlin.
Lancelot understood.