Lost In Translation: Ship Shape
Scene with glowing fluid in tubes, ready for injection.
Xander just sighed. "You're going to call it Adam, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am," Andrew admitted.
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
"I got a steal on an R2 unit," Xander said cheerfully.
"Nope, that's an A4 motorized cleaning droid, it's like a trash can on wheels," Andrew explained
"Great, I bought a roomba."
"How about the tiny metal spiders?" Andrew asked as they watched a lot of tiny robots scuttle across the deck.
"I didn't buy those," Xander admitted.
"Well, it's either a repair function or..."
"Or?"
"Or we should fumigate."
Lost In Translation: Omake - Tech Data
"Paper currency is worthless, though the coins might have some value," Andrew said thoughtfully.
"Necklaces and rings?" Xander asked, divesting himself of a couple of simple necklaces each with a ring hanging from it.
"Almost wedding ring and...?" Andrew asked curiously while removing several rings, an ear stud, and several gaudy crystal necklaces.
"Future almost wedding ring," Xander replied. "I may propose to someone some day on a spur of the moment, and doing it with Anya's ring would probably be really, really stupid."
"I'd say you were over thinking it, but she is the type who could make heaven hell for you if she chose."
"Exactly," Xander agreed. "How much will we get for all of this?"
Andrew shrugged. "We'll have to poke around and get a feel for things."
Xander gave Andrew a surprised look. "I'm amazed you don't know."
"I have microfiche with all the tech data available for this universe in my right rear molar, but calculating how much what we typically have in our pockets would be worth here has never come up."
"You have all the tech data?"
"Yes," Andrew agreed. "I wanted to be prepared for when this happened."
"And the fact that it might never happen never occurred to you?" Xander asked.
"I wouldn't want to live in a world where this never happened," Andrew exclaimed with a shudder.
Xander began to snicker, but quickly regained control over himself and gave Andrew a bright smile. "And once more, geek hope saves the day. Once we have some credits in hand, I'll show you the one benefit to being The-One-Who-Sees."
Lost In Translation: Omake - Shopping
Xander had never considered how big a Jawa Sand Crawler was until he saw one up close, and the number of things the Jawas were dragging out was astounding. It reminded him of a flea market as the small aliens laid out all manner of wares. Spotting a droid that looked to be a silvery-grey cousin of C3P0, he moved over to examine it, noting that it looked intact.
One of the small aliens jabbered something in a high pitched voice.
"I have no idea what you're saying," Xander admitted. "But I'll give you 300 creds for him."
The tiny alien waved over another of its kind and they jabbered back and forth for a minute before one made a muscle pose with its right arm and pointed at Xander.
Xander blinked and tried to figure out what it meant. "Strong? I guess so. Why?"
The other alien held up a time piece and tapped the hour equivalent before holding up two figures.
"Two hours of work and the credits for it?" he asked.
The Jawas nodded excitedly.
"I'm not a Wookie, but I can do a fair amount of work in two hours," Xander said agreeably. "Show me where you want me."
Two and a half hours later...
Andrew was pushed backwards as a silver droid carried in a dehydrated looking Xander Harris.
"What happened?" Andrew asked, quickly closing the door and grabbing a bottle of water for Xander.
The droid said nothing as Xander gulped down the water and Andrew saw it had an additional restraint bolt to keep it from speaking.
"Do you know what Jawas look like under their desert wraps?" Xander asked as he paused to breathe.
"Lizard like?" Andrew guessed. "It's never come up."
"Mammals all the way," Xander said, shaking his head. "Trust me on that."
"So you got us a protocol droid?" Andrew asked, deciding he didn't really want to know.
"Yeah," Xander agreed while Andrew took a small metal tool off his belt and started messing with the restraining bolts on it. "I had some spare cash after buying breakfast and lowballed them."
"I'll say," the droid agreed when Andrew popped the bolt off its jaw. "Low, high, right, and left!"
"You don't sound much like C3P0," Andrew said.
"Gold droid, whined like a bitch?" the silvery droid asked.
"That sounds like him," Xander agreed.
"He was one of those home kits for do-it-yourself types," the droid replied. "I was translating for my tenth owner at the time."
"Had a lot of owners?" Andrew asked.
"I get around," the droid admitted. "It'd help if you meat bags were a little less fragile and thin skinned, but what are you going to do?"
"I like him," Xander said.
Lost in Translation: Hive of Scum and Villany - Addendum
Andrew smiled happily, they had a rainbow of Twi'leks and not only did they like to talk tech with him, but Asuka liked to... He shook his head and concentrated on cooking once more before he burned something.
"Hey Andrew," Xander called out.
"Yeah, Xander?" Andrew replied, serving an omelet to Spa'kle who gave him a bright smile.
"You did a great job cloning Spa'kle's leg," Xander complimented. "Though I'm sure she's shown her thanks herself."
Andrew blushed bright red as the girls giggled.
"I was wondering if you could clone whole people," Xander told him.
"Easily," Andrew replied. "Remember, all the cloning tech we have I modified from trooper pods since they were the easiest to get ahold of."
"Good, because I have 15 people I'd like cloned."
"Do you have their DNA with you?" Andrew asked, surprised.
"Strand of hair with intact follicle," Xander promised.
"All female?" Andrew asked, wondering if Xander was cloning a harem.
"Ten of them are female, five are male," Xander explained. "If I can't have my friends around me, I figured I'd clone them."
"How long have you been planning this?" Andrew asked.
"Well, first it was just a keepsake. You know, a lock of hair from a friend, but then I learned about magic so it was also an emergency ingredient for a locator spell, that I always kept on me."
"Wish I'd thought of that," Andrew said. "Who all do you have?"
"Willow and Jessie I've had since forever. Cordelia and Anya were added when I dated them, just like I have Oz and Tara because Willow dated them."
"No Kennedy?" Andrew asked.
"I almost lost my life saving her and it cost me an eye," Xander said. "Not only has she never said thank you, she's been a complete bitch to me, so no."
"That's understandable," Andrew admitted.
"Giles, Joyce, and Jana I added for obvious reasons. Giles and Joyce were better parents to me than my own, and Giles dated Jana."
"Six more," Andrew said, passing out omelets to some of the others.
"Buffy, Kendra, and Faith so I have all three slayers," Xander said.
"That's a given," Andrew agreed.
"And for the last three... Dawn, Angel, and Spike."
"Angel and Spike?" Andrew asked. "I'm not even going to ask how you managed to get viable follicles from vampires, but seriously, Angel and Spike?"
Xander sighed. "I know, but despite my distaste for them Buffy did date them, and they did save people at times."
"And still no Kennedy?" Andrew asked, sensing something through the force.
"I also have hair samples of Kennedy and Drucilla," he admitted, "and I thought of cloning myself in there, just to keep the two to one ratio from dropping further."
"So eighteen total," Andrew said firmly.
Xander nodded. "Eighteen total. How do we educate them?"
"Two ways," Andrew said. "One, the synaptic imprinter provided by the empire for flash training clones works quite well if you have one person per handful of clones, as long as he's psychic so he can make the right adjustments."
"And two?" Xander asked.
"We can share memories using a Jedi trance so they know about their origins, plus the girls can teach them the feminine things we don't know."
"Have I mentioned you're a genius lately?"
"Thanks, Xand," Andrew said, already making plans while he finished making breakfast for everyone.
Typing by: Ordieth!
AN: Had some scattered thoughts about where to go with it.