Chapter 2 – Harry's First Class with Madame Umbridge

Delores regained a fitful sleep with images of a messy-haired, green-eyed boy jumping out of the shadows and insisting that You-Know-Who was returning. It made her a little out of sorts upon awaking but the extra cream in her morning tea worked wonders for improving her disposition.

She owled Flourish and Blotts to order the books for the Defense class with a request (order) for a personal copy for herself to develop lesson plans from. She also wrote a letter to Griselda Marchbanks, the head of the Wizarding Examinations Authority, for a consultation as she was preparing students for both OWL and NEWT exams. Delores Umbridge wanted concrete facts about the length and type of practical exams that would be given. While she could look up past tests as the Senior Undersecretary, she wanted to see if she could talk the elder witch and member of the Wizengamot into loosening or even eliminating the practical part of the exams. Witches and wizards had the Ministry and Aurors to protect them after all; what need did the half-bloods and mudbloods need to know about defensive or, even worse, offensive spells?

Flooing to the Ministry, Delores took care of some last-minute paperwork in her official capacity as Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic. She also briefed her assistant, an Elmo St. Feire, about how to best carry out the duties of the office ('Do whatever the Minister wants!') while she was away. Minister Fudge had promised to keep her position open for her until she finished the assignment.

Delores put aside a request from Albus Dumbledore to meet with her about her new duties. She would reply to the letter tomorrow; the Headmaster should start getting used to following her schedule instead of the reverse. She could respect the office but Dumbledore held no place of respect in her view of things as he was threatening the Minister with his lies concerning Potter. Umbridge was determined to question Potter at length about his reasons for creating such a blatant falsehood.

It was mid-afternoon when Delores returned home. She was more than delighted to find a copy of Defensive Magical Theory sitting on her doorstep. She picked up the book and retreated to her favorite easy chair to begin reading the text. The rest of the time until supper was passed in this manner.

After supper Delores changed into her favorite pair of pink cashmere pajamas and wrapped her silk dressing gown over it and continued to read the book she would be instructing the children at Hogwarts from. Remembering the odd dreams she had the night before, Delores substituted a mug of hot chocolate for her usual Peppermint tea. She fell asleep thinking about the first lecture she would be giving in the classroom.

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It was time for the Fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins to begin their class. The opportunity Professor Umbridge had been really looking forward to; she would at last be able to begin influencing Harry Potter or, conversely, breaking down his support from other students. She was sitting at her desks, her favorite pink cardigan on and a black velvet bow perched jauntily on top of her head. She watched as the Gryffindors arrived all willy-nilly and found seats wherever they felt like. The students from Slytherin House filed in together and took their seats in an orderly fashion as they should; some with the green and white crests on their robes even bowed their heads toward their teacher in a sign of respect. Delores felt good that some of the pureblood families had instructed their offspring in the basics of manners. Delores would arranged the seating of the students in alphabetical order after a class or two to establish the necessary discipline she suspected had been missing from their instructions at other school classes so far.

"Well, good afternoon everyone!" she said when the whole class had sat down.

A few people muttered "Good afternoon" in reply.

"Tut, tut," said Professor Umbridge. "That won't do now, will it? I should like you to reply 'Good Afternoon Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," they chanted back at her.

"There, now" said Professor Umbridge said sweetly. "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out." (Ch. 12, Order of the Phoenix)

A few students looked confused momentarily by the instruction but everyone stowed the wands and pulled out quills, ink, and parchments. Umbridge picked up the class roster with one hand and walked around to the front of her desk.

"I only recognize some of your names from the dealings your fathers have had with the Minister of Magic and the Ministry, but I hope we shall all have an enjoyable and enriching time as we get to know each other. When I call your name from the roster, the proper reply will be either 'Here, Professor Umbridge' or 'Present, Professor Umbridge'. Is that clearly understood?"

Professor Umbridge's smile got broader when most of the class responded 'Yes Professor Umbridge'.

"And here we go. Brown, Lavender?"

"Present, Professor Umbridge."

"Bulstrode, Millicent?"

"Here, Professor Umbridge"

The roll call continued until Umbridge had identified over half the students by name and face. She was now getting to the interesting part of the roster however.

"Parkinson, Pansy?"

"Present Professor Umbridge."

"Patil, Parvati?"

"Present, Professor Umbridge."

"Potter, Harry?"

"Here Madame Umbridge."

"Thomas – Wait! Mr. Potter!"

"Yes?"

"Yes what?"

"Yes Madame Umbridge?"

Umbridge placed the roster down carefully and turned back to the class. 'So it begins- the attention seeking, the disobedience and defiance' she thought.

"Stand up Mr. Potter."

A slim short wizard stood up in the second row from the back. His hair was very messy as if he had never put a comb to it and he looked very nervous as the other students turned around to look at him.

"That's three points taken for disrespecting a professor. Would you care to try again?"

"No Ma'am."

"That's three more points and a detention Mr. Potter. You will remain standing until I finish calling attendance."

Harry Potter stared straight ahead instead of responding to the whispers and complaints that were going on all around him.

"Ahem, hem" Umbridge cleared her throat to continue the roll call as the students fell silent in the classroom.

"Thomas, Dean?"

"Here, Professor Umbridge."

It was a very short time until all the names had been checked off on the roster and the teacher felt comfortable that she could match names and faces. She turned around and placed her roster in the top middle drawer of her desk. And turned to see Potter was still standing at his desk.

"Did you not understand my instructions, Mr. Potter?"

"Perfectly understood Madame Umbridge."

A gasp went around the classroom, mostly from the Gryffindor students while the Slytherins broke out in grins and small chuckles. Their class had been entertaining so far. Delores Umbridge could not believe that the fifth year was still defying her. Sending him on to Dumbledore would be an exercise in futility as he headmaster would just whitewash the infraction away.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself before I take further points and award more detentions? With Caretaker Filch or Professor Snape, for example."

There were muttered voices from Potter's friends; the Granger mudblood and the Weasley's youngest son but a glare from the Professor closed their mouths.

"May I explain myself? Please?"

"You are wasting valuable class time Mr. Potter but if you want to risk my further displeasure, go ahead and explain."

"According the charter for Hogwarts School Witchcraft and Wizardry an instructor may only call themselves a Professor if they have obtained a Mastery in the subject they are instructing the students in. I apologize if I have made a mistake, but your name wasn't listed in Appendix 102A in Hogwarts: A History for those graduates that have gone on to earn a Mastery after graduation. Therefore you properly deserve the title of Mrs. or Madame instead of Professor."

There was a shocked silence in the classroom as everyone digested the logic of one Harry Potter. A few students were staring at Potter with grins on their faces. A number of others were cringing in their seats awaiting the explosion that they were sure was coming. Umbridge herself was speechless for a long number of moments as she fought the urge to inflict a punishment with her wand.

"Another night of detention Mr. Potter. Despite what you think you know, you are wrong. While we are in this classroom, you will address me as Professor Umbridge. Do you understand me, young man?"

"Ye-Yes Professor Umbridge…ma'am." Harry Potter sat down suddenly and picked up his quill with a more than necessary flourish of movements.

'Professor' Umbridge stared down at the young man for a number of seconds but he seemed unaffected by the sternest look in the face of the instructor.

She turned and wrote the Class Aims on the blackboard and waited until everyone had a chance to write them down.

"So, has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

"Yes Professor Umbridge" ran through the room.

"Good," said Professor Umbridge. "I should like you to turn to page five and read chapter one, 'Basics for Beginners." There will be no need to talk."

Silence descended on the classroom while Umbridge took out her planner and wrote in the detentions she had scheduled for the two older brothers of Ronald Weasley. A swarm of stinging blackflies had attacked not only the 7th year Slytherins but had the audacity to fly towards her while she was calling the roll. She had stunned the insects and magically opened a window to throw them out. The laughter on the faces of the twins was all the reason she needed to deduct 10 points from Gryffindor and give them three hours of detention with Hagrid. She heard that the oaf worked with dangerous beasts and half-hoped any injuries they received would get them out her perfectly coiffed hair for the rest of the semester.

Looking up ten minutes later, Professor Umbridge saw two hands raised but the one that belonged Miss Granger suddenly lowered. The one belonging to her neighbor, Potter, did not. She stared at the boy until the rest of the class was paying more attention to the Gryffindor than their own textbooks.

"Do you have a question about the chapter?" she finally asked.

"Just a comment if I may Professor Umbridge. This is a brilliant textbook and explains what I need to learn in elaborate detail. I was just wondering if I could read ahead if I finished the assigned chapter before the class ends?"

This was not what Umbridge had expected. The dryness and tedium of the textbook had almost put her to sleep when she was reading it. "Yes, you may Mr. Potter. Our next class will be on the next chapter and so forth."

"Thank you Professor Umbridge. I must say it was a brilliant move on your part to get this book for us to prepare for our OWLs at the end of the year."

"Thank you Mr. Potter. It is refreshing to hear that you have some common sense about you."

"I… I would like to become an Auror someday. Do I have your permission to read this book outside of the classroom?"

"Yes, of course Mr. Potter."

"Anytime I want?"

"Yes."

"Anywhere?"

"If it will help you, of course."

"Does that include the rest of us too?"

"Yes, Miss Granger; it applies to everyone in this class. I didn't know I had signed up for such a knowledge-seeking year."

"Thank you Professor Umbridge" came from about half the Gryffindor students. The Slytherins were astonished at the dialogue that was going on.

Professor Umbridge went back to her desk and the students went back to their reading. It was fifteen minutes later when Delores looked up again and almost fell out of her seat. All the Gryffindor students had vanished!

Umbridge ran around the desk and felt herself go through a magical barrier of some sort. "Where are they?" she demanded of the students that were left.

"They all left after YOU gave them PERMISSION to read the textbook anywhere, at anytime" Draco Malfoy spat out. "Granger cast an Imperturbable Charm around your desk saying that they didn't want to bother you any further today. Potter said that they would show up for any tests you wanted to give them if you notified them the day before."

"You've excused all the Gryffindors from your class for the rest of the year!" somebody shrieked at the back of the class.

"Aaaargghh!"

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And that's when Delores Umbridge awoke from her dream, screaming and falling out of her bed – directly on and creasing her pink kitty slippers!