A Note: After some thought I decided that I have two ways I want this story to end. So I am writing two different outcomes!
Life or Death Part 1 (Chapter 5a)
The long exaggerated beep, the swarm of doctors and nurses that engulfed her small fragile body. The sounds of doctors yelling and calling out clear. Was a blur.
Raymond left the room after the first shock. He was in the way and it was killing him to see her like that.
Liz was always so strong, physically and mentally, especially after everything she has gone through. The fire, moving in with Sam, going to the academy, marrying and then fighting Tom, the blacklist. After all she has fought through, the bombs the poisonings, the multitude of gun fire. The thing that was going to kill her, or the thing that started it all, was him cheating on her.
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Over the few days while Liz was in a coma, he couldn't help but think what if he didn't cheat on her.
She wouldn't be in a vegetable state, first of all.
He would have her in arms; he would be able to hold her and touch her and make love with her.
He would have been able to give her baby she had begged for. But he told her no.
He wouldn't have to bury his best friend. His second chance. His Lizzie.
They tried to revive her.
Liz's heart was too weak to bring back. It had been broken and iced over, then melted and repaired, then broken and iced again. The difference between the first time it was broken and now is that deep down Liz never fully loved Tom; Liz loved Red with all of her heart until he tore it in half.
They tried.
There had been a night where they both talked about everything they wanted in life.
Everything.
Liz wanted a baby, most of all. Just one and she didn't have a preference, boy or girl. The name would be Samuel or Samantha.
She wanted the bedroom walls to be light blue, like the sky. And white colored sheets and blankets, so the bed was a cloud.
Liz wanted to see new places. It didn't matter if she left the country or not. She only wanted to see things she had never seen before.
Liz went as far as describing how she wanted her funeral. She wanted people to wear light airy colors. And the poem, Death is nothing at all, to be read.
He thought her choice of poem was odd, looking at it now. It was like she knew she would go before he would. It's what he told Liz to do with Sam.
She wanted a white coffin with a red inside. She wanted to wear her favorite red dress with her matching red heels. He had asked her why so much red. Her response, "When I get to hell, the devil is going to know I'm yours." Liz wanted her locket necklace with her and Sam as the picture, and her engagement and her wedding rings. Liz wanted to be buried next to him.
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He gave Liz the funeral she wanted.
He gave her the look she wanted, the hair, the dress, and the shoes.
He read the poem and told stories about her.
He watched as they lowered her into the ground. Finally allowing the flood of tears to come out after he threw down a single red rose.
She was his belle, and he, her beast.
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Red wanted to drink himself into a drunken stupor. He wanted to feel the bitter liquid burn down the back of his throat.
But he didn't.
Red knew that Liz wouldn't want him to mourn her in that way. She wasn't that type of person.
Liz would want him telling people the good memories he has of her. She would want him to catch more criminals.
She would want him to be happy.
Even though she knows he would never be completely happy again.
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"Liz was so excited. It was her first time in Havana. It would be like giving a child a lollipop, that is how excited she was. Her hair was flowing in the breeze, her eyes were the same color of the water, and her skin was glowing against the sand." Red closed his eyes remembering how beautiful she looked that day. It was one of his most favorite memories of her. "That was the first time she kissed me." He stopped again thinking about the taste she had, it was salty from the ocean air but was also sweet. "God, I miss her."
"It will get easier in time." Madeline said as she grabbed his hand.
Another Note! Please don't hurt me! The next chapter should be posted tomorrow, and Liz will live!