My feet carry me across the city of New York. I don't know where I'm going or where I am, all I know is I'm going far away from this place. This place holds too many memories and it will only hurt me more if I stay. Stay with her… She will only hurt me more. A couple of places come to mind, but I cant go there because I don't want to bother anyone. They probably wouldn't care. We may be a team, and friends, but this is something bigger and, frankly, don't want them to know about Maria and I. I abandoned the thought of using a car and threw the suitcase over my shoulders taking off running.
Running will help me clear my mind and will allow me to think about where I'll go. I'll just wreck a car in a car accident. My heart hurts too much. Am I supposed to feel this much pain? Is this what a heartache feels like? When someone you love hurts you and they cant make up for the damage they've done?
I close my eyes and feel myself slowdown from a run to a steady walk. From the walk my feet slowdown until they've stopped all together. I tilt my head back and allow the cool rain to run down my face as I try to take deep steady breathes. Where am I? I ask myself looking in front of me after opening my eyes.
I take a couple steps back in shock… how did I get here? I never planned on coming here… I never planned on going anywhere actually. It's shocking and I'm too nervous. They probably are asleep and wouldn't want to be bothered with. I cant put my burden on them and it's not any of their business. This is just between me and my, now, ex-wife.
The cold wind running across my body, making me shiver, is what makes me walk towards the front door.
I hesitant before letting my fist come onto the door softly. My head turns up to the sky and I can probably judge that's around midnight. I hope one of them will still be awake at this time because I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't have to.
I duck under their front porch and place the suitcase near the door as I sit down on one of their outside furniture. Rubbing my hands together I try to find some kind of excuse I could tell them as to why I'm there. I don't really want to tell them what I saw and… lets face it, if I tell them I'll end up crying.
My hand rises to wipe a tear that has fallen as the porch light turns on. Standing up, the door opens and a voice speaks. "Steve?" Looking up I find the regular blur of red hair as she opens the door waving me over to her. Natasha. "Steve what's wrong? What are you doing here-" She's about to continue on with unanswered questions until her eyes narrow in on my face. Her face contorts into confusion, but she pushes it aside and tightens the strap on her robe. "Steve, get your ass in here. Your wet and it's freezing out here." She ushers me inside and I grab the suitcase on my way in. She closes the door and turns to face me as I stand in the entry of her doorway. She shrugs off my jacket for me and throws it on the ground. "Steve, answers later. We need to get you out of these clothes; come on Clint will probably have some you can borrow."
She ushers me upstairs and into a bathroom. "Stay here." She says leaving only returning moments later with clothes, and a towel. "Here. I'll be downstairs when your done." I, who haven't said a word since the door open, clear my throat and reaches a hand out when she turns to leave.
"Wait… N-Natasha." She turns to look at me, an eye browed raised with concern tinting in her eyes.
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3rd Person…
Steve gulps, hesitating to tell Natasha, not wanting to put his burden on her. His silence worries Natasha even more and she turns her entire body on him. She offers no encouragement with words, just eyes. Steve's mouth opens, but nothing comes forth except… he crumples to the ground sobbing.
It's a huge shock to stand there, for her, and watch her fearless leader sit there crying. It has never hit Natasha that Steve Rogers, Captain America, does have feelings. She's always seen her leader strong, serious and ready to throw himself into the line of fire to protect his country and team mates.
Steve was always the rock of the Avengers. Never one to cry, to break and to help his team in their time of need. It has always occurred to Natasha that Steve had nothing to worry about, that he was perfect and his life was perfect.
He has a nice apartment, great friends, a steady job that offers him all his benefits and overall a beautiful wife. 'Where is Maria?' Natasha thought as an afterthought looking at Steve with pity and concern.
Cant take another minute of this, Natasha crosses to her leader and bends down in front of him taking his frozen hands in her warm ones. "Steve… do you want to talk about this now?" She asks failing desperately at trying to sound compassionate. He doesn't move or answer Natasha, he only sobs into his hands, too ashamed and embarrassed to even look at Natasha, the fiercest and strongest women he's ever known… aside from Peggy and Maria.
Just the thought of his ex wife brings more tears and he cries harder.
"Natasha?" A sleepy voice ask from the entry of the bathroom. Steve doesn't have to think twice to know Clint is standing there watching him and Natasha. His voice already gives away his confusion and concern.
Natasha quickly looks up at him and waves him away an arm wrapping around the hysterical soldier. Clint, who was never one to follow orders, complies anyway and leaves with a bewildered expression on his face. Natasha looks back down at Steve who has calmed down enough to breath properly again. Mustering up the softest voice she can, she whispers, "Come on." She leads Steve out of the bathroom, grabbing the clothes on the way seeing Steve is too distraught to do anything and in his state, let's face it, she doesn't trust him to be alone. She pulls him into the guest room and sits him on the bed. Slowly she peels away the shirt from Steve body which cling to him because of the rain. Leaving off his shirt she lays him down and is about to strip him off his pants when Steve reaches out and grasps onto her wrist. Natasha looks up at him cringing like a child who just got caught trying to take a cookie from the cookie jar. Only she straightens when she realizes Steve isn't stopping her from changing him into P.J's, he stopping her because he's ready to talk. His facial expression screams 'Help!' and who is Natasha to deny her leader, the guy who stuck his neck out for her whenever she was in trouble and has saved her on countless occasions, the comfort he needs when he's clearly a wreck.
She pulls back and sits next to him as he sits up. Steve moves his grip from her wrists to her hands and bring her hands to press against his cold cheek. The warmth from Natasha's body calms Steve down enough to where he can speak without crying. His eyes stay on a point across the room, never moving from there, but his hands keep in contact with Natasha at all times. Natasha, who sits there patiently waiting for Steve, rubs small circles into Steve's back with her free hand waiting. Slowly and quietly, as if to not wake anyone up, although everyone that occupies is awake, Steve speaks.
"How long have you been awake? Did I wake you?" She shakes her head reassuringly and watches as Steve's shoulders relax slightly. "What about Clint? I shouldn't have come here, I must have ruined your night. I'm sorry Natasha." He says getting up to leave.
Natasha catches his hand before he makes his way to the door. "I don't think so. You think I'm just going to just let you walk out of my house like this. No, you're going to sit down and tell me what the hell is wrong with you so I can go and kick someone's ass for hurting you. Why didn't you tell Maria because I'm pretty sure she'd do the same-" Natasha stops short when she sees Steve stiffen when she used Maria's name.
… Then it dawns on her.
"This about Maria? Isnt it?" Steve eye's revert back to the ground finding some new interest in Natasha's bare feet. He doesn't look up, just merely nods. "What happened? Did you two fight?"
"I wish," Steve mutters under his breath not meaning for Natasha to hear, but she did.
"Steve what's wrong? This is about Maria, is she hurt? Did she leave you? What!?" Natasha asks scared for her friend. It may not look like it, but Agent Hill and Agent Romanoff are friends. Just not the ones that go out to saloons, and beauty places. More like missions and they look out for each other.
Steve sniffs and clears his throat while a hand comes up to wipe his eyes. "Um… s-she's fine. She's um… not hurt. But um…" Steve, never having been good around women, especially Natasha, starts stuttering again, with incoherent sentences as he tries to find a way to tell Natasha that Maria cheated on him.
"Spit it out." Natasha says having calmed down from being anxious for her friend. Steve looks up at her after placing his head in his hands. His eyes give away his pain and all he really wants right now is a hug. Although he's never ask Natasha for one, but she can sense it. Natasha grabs Steve's shoulder and pulls him in for a tight hug. Never being one to show emotions, she finally allows Steve to have the comfort he needs. After a long hug the two pull away and Steve speaks again.
"I-I… Maria cheated on me." He whispers softly, his grip tightening on Natasha's hand for the slightest second then releasing not wanting to hurt her. He can hear a collective gasp from the person next to him and someone from the hallway. He avoids eye contact with Natasha and looks up at the door. "Clint," He whispers weakly, not afraid to show his sadness anymore, considering he's just exposed his vulnerability in front of two of his team mates. "Come in, you don't have to hide."
There's shuffling in the hallway then silence. Natasha glares at the closed door before it opens to reveal Clint walking in the room followed by a sheepish Bruce and Tony. Clint looks annoyed having been discovered eavesdropping thanks to the doctor and inventor who couldn't control their shock. Thor was in Asgard and couldn't contacted so Clint contacted the other two Avengers after finding his Captain on the floor of his bathroom crying with his girlfriend sitting next to him having no idea what to do. The look of confusion and worry on her face made him call the others. He'd take whatever punishment Natasha would give him later, but right now, his leader needed help.
Steve looks down shamefully only expecting Clint to arrive and not knowing he invited the billionaire, who took everything as a joke, and a doctor who specializes in physicists. He is definitely not a physician therefore wouldn't be able to help Steve. He explained it all to Tony who after his experience with Justin Hammer as he tried to make duplicates of the Iron Man suit, and failing miserably at it and added a new foe to Tony. Also, his experience of when the arc reactor was taken out of him along with the shrapnel that threatened to kill him before.
He stands up quickly and goes to leave the room, his hands leaving Natasha's. But Tony blocks his entrance and for a snarky, ignorant person his eyes show a lot of concern and sadness. "Steve, buddy there's nothing to be ashamed of." He tells him placing a hand on Steve's exposed chest stopping him from moving.
Steve, now seeing he has no shirt on, walks back to Natasha and she hands him a shirt. As he puts on the shirt he asks, "How much did you hear?"
The three go silent until Bruce, the brave one, answers. "All of it." Steve looks down wiping his eyes and nodding. He doesn't seem angry, just embarrassed. Natasha on the other hand looks pissed. "Clint," she asks her eyes clearly showing her anger. Clint puts his hands up in defense and hides behind the doctor.
"I woke to find my girlfriend not in bed, but instead on the floor of our bathroom trying to help our devastated Captain. Seeing Cap crying put me in a state of confusion and concern so I called the rest. We're a team and we're supposed to be there for one another no matter how petty our problems are. Since Cap was there for us, we need to be there for him." Steve, who had his back turned the rest, felt very touched that the rest of them felt that way about him. Clint's statement made Natasha shut up, but she was still annoyed because she was handling it very well for someone who didn't show emotion.
"I was handling it." Natasha says to Clint her eyes trained on him. Clint risked it and rolled his eyes.
"Sure you were, like you were handling trying to keep Bruce calm after I blew up the engine when I was mind-controlled." His tone had a bit of malice when he said mind controlled, but he kept it neutral since this wasn't about him, it was about Steve. Bruce glares at Clint from behind him and moves over to speak with Steve.
"Natasha, Clint," Bruce said in warning as he made his way to Steve who is now looking out the window. "This isn't about who handled what. This is about Steve, if you're going to bicker please go outside and leave it to Tony and I." Natasha and Clint stop talking after that and watch the doctor when he starts speaking to Steve. "Steve… what happened?" He asks sincerely, no pity his voice, knowing full-well the Captain wouldn't want anyone's pity.
Steve stares down at the streets for a while before answering. He recalls the entire night from the time he left his apartment to go get the anniversary gift for Maria to the time he left his apartment with his suitcase. "I opened the door and left without a second thought. I don't know how, but I ended up here because I had nowhere else to go." Steve looks over at Clint and apologizes. "I'm sorry for bothering you, I just… didn't know where to go."
Clint puts his hand up and waves it good naturally. "It's all good Cap. To be honest, Tasha and I wouldn't have wanted to you to go anywhere else." Clint looks over at Natasha who sits there staring at her hands, confusion lacing her expression.
"I still cant believe she did that… Steve where is she again?"
"I don't know, but my guess would be at the apartment."
"So now what?" Tony asks the soldier watching him crossing his arms over his chest. Steve shrugs, stands up and walks over to the window.
"I don't know… but I do know that… I'm not going back."
"Good for you Cap. If she did that to you, she doesn't deserve to have you and you can be damn well sure, she wont be getting in 10 miles radius of you unless necessary." Natasha says standing up and following his lead. Steve smiles and nods his thanks.
"What now though? How do we avoid her? We kind of work with her, you know." Tony says, Steve glances behind his back.
Steve turns around and looks at Tony. "You don't have to avoid her. None of you do. You can still be friends-"
"After what she did you Cap? I don't think so." Natasha says placing a hand on his shoulder. Steve smiles at his team, minus Thor, and turns back attention back to the falling rain outside. "You gonna be okay Steve?" Natasha asks running her arms onto Steve's freezing arm. He nods his head and keeps his attention on the stormy sky.
"Yeah… I just, no matter what, despite what she did to me, I Will Always Love Her."