To him.
To Adrian.

No, no, no. Not now. Not ever. Neither of us have the strength to be bonded now, especially after what just happened between us two.
Being bonded to Lissa, well, it was hard to cope up with, but she was my best friend and our bond just strengthens our friendship.

With Adrian, I'd never know what the bond will do to us. It might even drive us apart. Even if this bond drove us back to be close again, I wasn't not sure how things between Dimitri and I will be like. I had been bonded to a person; I knew how it felt. My whole world will revolve around that person, and I owed him my whole life. Neither Lissa nor I said anything for a long time.

I finally swallowed and said, "Your face when I talked about Dimitri. You know all about it, don't you? Adrian must've told you."

She shifted uneasily. "It's not his fault for telling me. It was mine. It's not like he did a good job when he first lied to me that nothing was bothering him. It was written all over his aura."

I felt a sudden ache in my chest. I knew Lissa and Adrian all to well to know that he would never open up to anyone unless he trusts them completely. And he does trust Lissa. Why wouldn't he? They're still friends, no matter what happened between me and him.

"I need to talk to him, then. As soon as possible. Not only do I have an apology to make, I also have to swear my life to him for saving me. Not to mention there's a lot to talk about the bond."

"Well..."
"Well?"

"Adrian.. He, um, specifically asked me not to let you see him."

What? I felt nostalgic. This was happening all over again. A month ago, Dimitri wouldn't see me when he just turned back into a dhampir. Now, it's Adrian who refuses to see me. God.

"Well, he can say and do whatever he wants. But he can't stay away from me. Not forever, anyway," I said stiffly. "What is it, with him? He's being so damn impossible. Does he think he can leave me alone with us being bonded?"

When I got no respond from her, I added, "He can't, Liss. I'd find him," repeating what I just said.

"Rose, He's-"

"What? He's what?"

"He requested to leave the Court. Altogether."

"When?" my eyes widened.

"Since the gunshot, he'd been making plans. He's supposed to leave for London after attending my royal coronation."

"When's your coronation?"

"Within three days."

I don't know why I was surprised. I bet he would've left without even bothering with the coronation whatsoever, if it wasn't Lissa who's going to be queen. They're still friends, no matter what, I reminded myself.

For the last ten minutes, I almost forgot how damn unreasonable and stubborn he was. I was fixated by my debt to him, our bond. I almost forgot that when Adrian makes up his mind, it's done. Nothing can change it. In that case, he's precisely like me. But I know Lissa well to know that as my best friend, she wouldn't stop me from talking to him.

"Then I must talk to him. At least for the last time."
This time, Lissa didn't disagree. She insisted that I be released to a couple of doctors since their efforts to keep me here are pointless. After a couple of minutes, they agreed that I can go only if I do check ups once a day for the next three days. I nodded to them, indicating that I'll comply. Whatever. They're dreaming if they think I'm gonna do as they say.

While they were doing some paperworks, I closed my eyes and tried to immerse myself into Adrian's head. When I was trying to reach Lissa's mind through the bond earlier, I was so focused on going to her head that I didn't even realise I still had a bond, only it was with someone else...

It's one thing to be bonded to Lissa, it's another thing to be bonded to Adrian. With Lissa, even though I highly respect her privacy, I couldn't help but spy on her thoughts every now and then to make sure nothing is bothering her. With Adrian, though, I knew that it's not only his privacy I'm intruding, but also that I don't have absolutely no right to read him. But it's not like I have the power not to. I bit my bottom lip, sending a mental apology to Adrian for what I'm doing-invading his private thoughts-and went to his mind.

He was lying on the kitchen floor, staring at the ceiling, his eyes unfocused. He had a couple of drinks, so his thoughts were incoherent. But I could feel his hopelessness. He was angry, but he didn't do anything about it, because what was it that he can do? He was tired-so tired, because he knew he's been nothing but an intruder the first time he saw how I looked at Dimitri. He thought of himself as merely nothing more than one of the many conflicts in my love life with Dimitri, and that he only is-was-what made our relationship interesting, nothing more.

He cursed himself for thinking for a second that I even had feelings for him.
But all negative thoughts aside, there was relief too-and hope. He was so relieved that I didn't die. As much as he would never admit it, I sensed that there was he still had hope, despite what I'd done to him. The tiniest part of him hoped that I could finally understand his feelings for me because I was bonded to him. Then he cursed himself again for even having faith.

With that, I immediately summoned all my willpower to go back to my own mind, because I knew what to do to him now to change his mind. I didn't care about everything else aside from the fact that he still had faith. He had hope. Even though it was little, it was still there. That was all I needed—just a little bit of hope. I knew I will get him to stay.

Because hope overpowers everything.

So I set my feet on the hospital floor and walked straight to his apartment with Lissa by my side, because at that moment, I only had one thing in mind: to beg forgiveness from the boy whose heart I broke.

When we arrived, Lissa offered to be the one to knock on his door first while I waited until he opened up. That way, he wouldn't be able to sense my aura lurking and decide not to let us in. I told her not to bother, since I could sense that he was so wasted that his spirit magic wouldn't even be functional anymore. When she started knocking gently, I kicked the door open, knowing that he couldn't even stand straight at the moment.

We found him on the kitchen floor, still in the same position as I saw him when I went to his mind. Lissa kneeled and shook him and repeatedly called his name, but he did nothing but talk gibberish.

"Adrian. C'mon. Let's clean you up."

He groaned.
I crossed my arms protectively but didn't say anything.

"Adrian. Hey. We have to clean you up and get you sober. Rose is here to talk to you," she attempted again.

With that, he sat up abruptly. "Rose?"

"Yeah. Rose", I said stiffly. "Rose is here and she would like to do some serious talking to Adrian without him having any alcohol in his system."

"Rose," he said dreamily, his eyes still unfocused."Rose, indeed, is like her name; a rose. Her petals are as lovely as spring itself."

Then, he did something that drained all the blood from my face.

He turned to look at me in the eyes; the first time that his eyes weren't unfocused and said solemnly, "But beware. Don't be so easily lured by this enchanting facade of hers. Because," he paused, as if to build the anticipation of what he was about to say next. "To touch her exquisite petals is to be pierced by her remorseless thorns."

Then he calmly laid down again, leaving me with a lump in my throat.