A better friend…
"I just wish, Ron were a better friend," Hermione whispered before she went to bed, as even after helping rescue her from the troll and sacrificing himself to get them through McGonagall's chess set, Ron left a lot to be desired as the friend of a young girl with a fondness for books and learning.
~Wish Granted~ The night seemed to whisper and a young red haired boy in the Gryffindor dorm glowed for a brief moment, before returning to normal.
The next day at breakfast, Hermione noticed Ron was eating even more than he normally did, but showing quite a bit more manners while he did so.
"Oi, Ron! Leave some for the rest of us!" Dean complained.
Ron rolled his eyes. "I don't know why, but I woke up starving this morning."
"So, same old, same old?" one of the twins joked as they passed by Ron towards their customary spot a few seats down the table.
"Yeah," Ron agreed good naturedly, not seeing the twins raise their eyebrows in surprise, "and unless you'd like me to add long-pig to the menu I'd suggest passing more burnt-pig my way."
The twins laughed and passed the bacon while Harry and Neville pretended to scoot away from Ron.
"Not at the table," Hermione scolded with a groan.
"Joke wouldn't make sense anywhere else," Ron replied for once without a mouth full of food in the way.
Despite herself Hermione giggled.
"You seem to be in good spirits this morning," Percy said as he walked in on the scene.
"I've got a guaranteed couple of months where I won't see Snape or Malfoy," Ron said, causing a good deal of laughter at the table.
"Professor Snape, Ron," Hermione compulsively needled even though she didn't care much for the man either.
Ron gave her a look that said 'are you kidding me' before continuing, "If you want to see me in a real good mood, let me kidnap Harry and Hermione for this summer as well!"
"Get your homework done early and Mum may allow them to visit," Percy suggested.
"I will," Ron said, "but just so you know I consider work assigned over vacation to be a sin!"
"A sin?" Hermione asked before anyone else could.
"Yeah, a real crime against nature and humanity," Ron complained. "See, time away from schoolwork so we can relax and reconnect with our family and friends is why we have time away from school, all the work they give us to do over vacation is meaningless crap. If it was important they would assign it in class so we could discuss it and be tested on how well we know it. Nope, It's not just pointless, but bloody buggering pointless! Busy work assigned for no other purpose than to cause stress and reinforce the knowledge that they have authority over us while at the same time trying to implant the idea that school is more important than family."
Everyone stared at Ron speechless.
"So McGonagall's evil?" Lee Jordan asked with wide eyes.
"Without a doubt," Ron agreed.
Sudden Silence descended upon the table.
"And she's standing right behind me isn't she?" Ron asked, sighing in resignation.
"And how exactly am I evil, Mr. Weasley?" Professor McGonagall asked in a stern voice.
Ron turned around slowly to face the Head of Gryffindor House. "You took as many points away from us for being out of bounds one night as we were awarded for preventing the rebirth of a dark lord."
"Your prank on poor Neville was cruel and unwarranted," McGonagall replied.
"What prank?" Ron demanded. "The three of us were up and out after curfew, but then we had to sneak around a lot to find and stop Quirrell, so show me the logic that lead to us pranking Neville."
"Neville quite clearly believed that you three were smuggling a dragon out of Hogwarts as did Mr. Malfoy. Explain to me how that was anything but a prank," she heatedly demanded.
"While I was in the hospital wing, Malfoy went through my things and stole a letter," Ron replied. "The letter did say we were smuggling a dragon out of school."
Hermione winced and Harry's eyes widened, afraid Ron was going to give it all away.
"I was using it as a bookmark, no one else was supposed to read it and unless you knew the code and exactly what we were doing that night you could easily get the wrong idea, which doesn't change the fact that while it could possibly have looked like a prank on Malfoy in no way would that make it a prank on Neville."
"Then what were you doing out?" the professor interrogated through increasingly thin lips.
"Same thing we were doing all school year, since the only adult who was ever remotely helpful was Hagrid and… though it pains me to admit it, Snape. Regardless there was no evidence of anything but Malfoy trying to get us in trouble and Neville trying to warn us. You gave us a punishment worse than anything professor Snape ever did and he's taken off points for Harry not being able to see through the back of his own head."
"I find that hard to believe," McGonagall said doubtfully her face set in stone.
"Our very first class he took off points for Harry not stopping Neville—and mind you this was just after quizzing him to find out he knew nothing about potions—from adding quills at the wrong stage of the potion when Neville was seated behind him. So, yeah, Professor Snape has taken off points for Harry not having eyes in the back of his head," Ron finished with a flourish.
McGonagall looked to Harry uncertainly for confirmation and received a small nod.
"The only person more helpful to the dark lord was Quirrell. You punished us way worse than was necessary and even outright threatened to do worse when we came to you for help. All that and assigning homework over break makes you evil in my eyes."
"McGonagall shook her head. "Enforcing the rules and assigning homework are the duties of a professor and I have apologized for not assisting you that night."
"How you follow orders is as important as what orders you follow," Ron replied without dropping his gaze from the professor, "and I still maintain that homework over vacation is a sin."
McGonagall just rubbed her temples and walked off, muttering something about how Ron's parents hadn't given her such headaches.
"That was concise and logical, wrong of course, but logical," Hermione told him.
"We better go get packed," Harry said. "I don't think it's possible to get detention during break, but we should make ourselves scarce just in case."
~break~
Ron, Harry, and Hermione looked up in surprise as Neville joined them, dragging his trunk. "Room for one more?" the normally quiet boy asked with a grin.
"Sure," Harry said, jumping up to help him put his trunk away.
Neville thanked him and sat down across from Harry and Hermione. "So… What were you doing that night?" he asked.
The three exchanged glances considering what to say.
"Nev," Ron said, "You know we've gone out of our way to not say what we were doing, right?"
"What we were doing could get us in a lot of trouble, even now," Hermione said nervously edging around the topic.
"You just want to make sure it wasn't a prank on you, yeah?" Ron asked.
Neville nodded staring at a point on the floor before looking up. "I know you said it wasn't, but it's just so…"
Harry nodded agreeing with Neville. "It does look suspicious."
"No it doesn't," Ron said. "For it to have been a prank on you, we would have had to have been in on it with Malfoy."
Harry, Hermione, and Ron shared a look of mutual disgust and shuddered.
"Oh!" Neville said, his expression one of understanding. "OK, now I know you weren't trying to prank me. I should have seen that from the start, but McGonagall was so convincing!"
"Evil," Ron said with a nod, while the others rolled their eyes.
"You should get your homework done first, so you don't have it hanging over your head all summer," Hermione suggested.
"That's a horrible idea," Ron said making a face.
"Better than waiting till the last minute," she countered.
"No it's really not," Ron said, switching places with Harry. "You have to look at it logically."
Hermione groaned, "I knew I should have brewed some headache potion before we left!"
"Brew some when you get home," Ron suggested.
"But the restriction of underage sorcery—" Hermione began.
"Is unreasonable and only covers magic done with a wand," Ron interrupted. "Potions brewing is allowed in private."
"Good, I wanted to be able to show my parents at least a little of what I was learning," Hermione said with a smile.
"But back to the homework," Ron said. "If you do it right away you'll completely forget what you did by the time school starts again. Homework is assigned in the belief that you will do it at the last minute, so they can spring a surprise test on your first day back over the material."
"You could just re-read it before school starts again," she suggested.
Ron gave her a look. "Nah, last three days gives you enough time to get it done and keep it fresh for the test."
"Just because there is a method to your madness doesn't mean it's not madness," Hermione told Ron before pulling out a book to read.
"Magic and madness… Forgot where I was going with that, but i'm pretty sure there's an Alice in Wonderland quote that would be perfect," Ron said primly, making her struggle not to laugh as he pulled out one of his own textbooks to read.
"I thought you weren't going to do your homework till just before its time?" Hermione said accusingly.
"I'm not doing homework," Ron replied, "I just had an epiphany!"
"A what?" Neville asked.
"I'm surprised you even know that word," Hermione admitted with narrowed eyes.
"Well, apparently Neville and I don't," Harry replied looking to Hermione.
"Epiphany: a sudden realization or insight," Hermione explained.
"Was your epiphany over the meaning of the word epiphany?" Harry asked, turning to look at Ron.
Ron grinned and Hermione sunk her face into her hands muttering, "It's going to be another 'teachers are evil' speech, I just know it."
"Not quite, though if power corrupts and knowledge is power… Well, study hard and you'll be evil." Ron waited for the three to stop laughing before he continued, "Actually, in magic knowledge is quite literally power. Now, everyone knows i'm a bit lazy." Once more there was a delay for the laughter to stop. "The more power you have the easier it is to do things, so logically the more I learn the lazier I can be."
"My brain hurts," Hermione complained leaning back in her seat and rubbing her head.
"Come on everyone, pick up a book and work on increasing your levels of evil, like our teachers want," Ron encouraged, grinning widely.
"Oh dear God, I understood that!" Hermione groaned sinking further into her seat.
"If you read more you'd understand me better," Ron suggested with a grin.
It was at that point Hermione snapped and tried to strangle him.
Typing by: Stephenopolos