Chapter 15

I watched the rain in silence for a long while, seeing the sky grow drastically darker until it looked like nighttime outside the window. The rain came down faster and faster until it was a loud torrent, and I watched the lightning pierce the sky right in front of the windows and heard the thunder roar. I crawled closer to the window and looked down at the streets far below beginning to flood.

When I grew tired of listening to the rain, I got my phone and sat cross-legged in front of the window. I put on Il Volo's "We Are Love" album and listened sitting in front of the window, watching the downpour and thinking, as if in a trance.

When the evening came, I ate dinner in front of the window, and I couldn't help thinking that if I had gone out, I would have definitely been caught in this deadly storm. I would have gone too far away from the hotel to return quickly, and the freezing rain would have chilled me to the bone. I could barely see through the outside darkness, and I wondered if I would have been able to find my way back in the blackness.

I remained in front of the window for the duration of a second Il Volo album, feeling subdued and reflective, my earlier excitement and anger long since evaporated.

When the album ended and the music faded to silence, I was surprised at the roar of rain outside the window. It was dangerously loud, and as the thunder exploded, I jumped and pulled out the earbuds.

I stared out at the threatening storm with wide eyes at its intensity, and then pulled up my knees to my chest and settled my chin down on them.

Another particularly loud clap of thunder made me jump, and I was plunged into darkness for a second when the power in the room flickered. I sat up, my subdued trance momentarily faltering, and looked up warily at the ceiling light, sincerely hoping it wouldn't go out. I didn't like darkness, because I hated not being able to see what was in front of me, being surrounded by the unknown.

The lights stayed on, and I relaxed somewhat and watched the sheets of rain moving past the window.

The lights flickered again, and I had just enough time to utter a quick plea for the lights to stay on before a clap of thunder plunged me into total darkness.

I froze, lost in the blackness as I waited for my eyes to adjust. Gradually my vision returned and I could vaguely see the torrents of rain in what little light the evening allotted.

I sat frozen before the window, staring outside, and then slowly turned and looked into the blackness of the hotel room. I cautiously rose from the floor and stood in the midst of the darkness. I turned back to the window and looked at the storm, and a flash of lightening momentarily lit up the room. When the light disappeared, I turned and moved quickly to the door, reaching out for it as I stumbled through the room.

When I was right in front of it, it flew open and a tall, black figure loomed over me, face alight with flickering orange brightness.

"Ah!" I cried, stumbling immediately backwards and tripping over the laptop charger, going sprawling on the hard floor with a thud and a gasp. I looked up in fear at the figure towering above me, and then realized it was only Ignazio, standing in the doorway holding a candle with a surprised, concerned expression on his face.

"Tamzin, are you alright!?"

I untangled myself from the laptop wire and got up from the floor as Ignazio moved close and took my elbow in gentle concern.

"I'm okay," I said, looking up at him as I calmed. "You just scared me at first."

"Here," he said, handing me the candle. "I've got more in my room."

He left, leaving the door open, and I turned and looked out the window, then slowly moved close to it and sat in front of it, setting the candle down on the low sill and pressing my hand against the glass to feel the deep chill of the November air.

I watched the brilliant flickering light for a moment, and then scooted backwards and sat in my earlier spot, pulling my knees to my chest and wishing the power would return.

Ignazio returned after a moment with an armful of more candles and a box of matches, which he set on the floor.

"They were free in the lobby," he explained as he artfully made a line of candles on the windowsill next to the first. "The hotel generator is broken. The manager told us they had a guy working on it all day just in case the power went out, but he couldn't fix it."

I quietly watched him crouching beside the window, and he looked up from the sill and smiled at me, shadows flickering across his face. I kept my chin on my knees, and he turned to the matchbox and picked it up. He struck a match and then lowered the brilliantly dancing flame into each candle, lighting them one at a time. Then he shook the match and slid it back into the box.

He looked at me huddled in front of the window and studied me for a moment as I surveyed his broad frame silhouetted against the window.

"Are you sulking?" he asked after a moment, and I shook my head.

"No… Just thinking."

He nodded and turned to look out the window at the pouring rain. I looked over his silky hair, dark eyes, and sweet face, and then followed his gaze to the outside chaos.

"You were right."

He looked back at me, surprised, and then smiled gently at me. I took in the smile and then averted my eyes, looking back at the storm.

He took a candle and stood up, and I peered up at him and then raised my head and turned as I watched him leave my hotel room. I stayed watching the black doorway for a moment, and then turned somberly back toward the window and lowered my knees, returning to sitting cross-legged.

I watched the flickering bright orange light in front of me, scattering the darkness as the multiple brilliant little flames danced and shivered from being so close to the chilled window.

I heard a shuffling behind me, and Ignazio appeared beside me holding a folded blanket in his hands. He smiled at me and sat down beside me, cross-legged, and shook out the blanket.

"Here," he said, reaching out to lay a side over my shoulders, draping it around both of us. "Now that the power's out, it's going to get cold very quickly."

I hesitated, but at the promise of warmth I accepted it and pulled it more tightly around myself, then looked up at him and smiled softly. He returned my smile, and I looked at the candles flickering in front of us.

"Thank you for the light," I said, and he nodded.

"You're welcome. Candlelight is beautiful, isn't it?" he remarked. I looked up at him and saw the tiny flames reflecting in his eyes.

"I don't like the dark."

"Then that must make it even more beautiful."

He smiled at me, and I smiled back and looked past the candles to the rain.

"You were right," I admitted softly again. "I waited to see when the rain would start after you left. You predicted within twenty minutes, and you were right."

"How long was it?"

"Nineteen."

"Nineteen…" he repeated, nodding, then he shrugged. "Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty physic."

I turned and stared at him, and then laughed when I saw the playful look in his eyes, and he laughed with me. I shook my head, and then slowly regained my seriousness as I watched the rain.

"If I had gone out, I would have gotten caught in that."

Ignazio watched me quietly, and I turned and looked at him sheepishly.

"Um…thanks, Ignazio. For stopping me."

"Sure, Tamzin."

"I guess I'm still learning the balance, you know? Learning how to monitor when I can go out and when I can't."

"I understand. I'm watching you learn how to balance it, Tamzin. I think you're doing a good job. Sometimes you just need a little encouragement."

He smiled at me and leaned toward me to jostle me gently.

"And sometimes you need to be stopped altogether."

I smiled.

"Yeah…I guess so. It's so frustrating sometimes. I used to be able to take landscapes all the time, but now I have to split the time between the portraits. But I also get so many new places to photograph with the touring."

"So would you say you enjoy working for us now? Or is it still boring?"

I looked up at him.

"You can tell me," he said earnestly.

"Sometimes I like it. Sometimes I just want more. I feel like it's too routine. Go with you, take pictures, upload pictures. It just feels insignificant."

Ignazio turned to me, surprised.

"Your job isn't insignificant, Tamzin. You're very important to the team. You know that, right?"

I shrugged, knowing he was just trying to make me feel better.

"Sure, Ignazio. There's just not much ambition in it."

A huge clap of thunder made me jump, and I sat up straight and watched the rain. We were quiet for several minutes, watching the storm together.

I quickly began to feel the room getting colder, and I got chills and pulled the blanket tightly around me.

"It's cold…" I said softly, and Ignazio nodded.

"No heat anymore. Novembers in Canada can be pretty brutal."

I shivered and huddled under the blanket, trying to get warm.

"The photoshoot in Chile was brilliant," I thought aloud. "The thought of it still makes me happy. I keep hoping I'll get that excited feeling in the day-to-day work."

He nodded.

"I hope you do, too. I love seeing that spark in your eye when you get excited. That ambitious, fiery look you have when you come in and out of your outdoor photography sessions, and that you had during the Christmas photoshoot."

We fell quiet again, with me watching the candles and Ignazio observing me.

Finding I was unable to get warm, I shivered again and peered up at Ignazio. I hesitated, then moved closer to him, and he pulled the blanket tightly around the both of us and moved his arm around me, holding me gently to him. He was warm and comfortable, and I began to feel sleepy as the chill of the evening was banished from our blanket. I yawned and blinked sleepily, and Ignazio pulled me gently toward him, encouraging me to lay my head on his shoulder. I did, and his sweater was soft against my cheek. I contentedly closed my eyes, feeling his gentle arm around me under the warmth of the blanket.

He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Tamzin, what do you want?"

I absorbed the question for a moment, and then lifted my head in confusion and shot him a quizzical look.

"Ignazio, what kind of a question is that?"

He turned his head to me, and his face showed sincerity.

"I mean overall. What is it you want?"

"Huh? What do you want?"

"Well…" he thought about it for a moment, gazing at the candles reflectively. "I guess I want a lot of things, but the main thing I want for now is an American Award. A Grammy, or an American Music Award or something."

"An American award?"

He nodded.

"Why America?"

"Because America is this amazing, stubborn, brilliant power, and I'd love to capture its heart."

I stared at him in incredulity, and he continued after a moment when he observed my expression.

"Plenty of people in the U.S. listen to our style of music, but people mostly listen to pop hits and rock hits… the stuff on the radio. We're a group of operatic pop singers, and we're trying to bring this kind of music into more peoples' lives. We're also kind of introducing this music to the young generation, and we want them to fall in love with it. I want us to be recognized by the people of America! I want our music to be accepted and loved the way we love it, and I want people to see the beauty in it that we do!"

"American recognition…" I murmured, and he nodded.

"American recognition."

"So why are we in Canada then?"

"Tamzin, we can't focus only on the U.S. The other countries need some love too, and we can't abandon the places that have been so crucial to our career."

I laid my head on his shoulder again, and he readjusted the blanket around me again, trying to keep me warm.

"I guess…" I said, thinking, "With my photography, I want to capture the beauty of things within the world. I want to capture it and present it to people, draw them into the realm of beauty."

"That makes sense," Ignazio said, and I closed my eyes and listened to the cadence of his voice. "You're good at it too, Tamzin. Your landscapes are perfect. They must be, with all the energy and passion you pour into them."

"Yeah," I said, smiling, and then I stopped and thought about continuing. "I want to be a landscape photographer for National Geographic," I finally said, and he looked surprised, and then nodded.

"A landscape photographer for National Geographic."

"Yes! I've dreamed of becoming that ever since I started Harrison when I was eleven. I just love that idea of being able to explore and go out to capture the beauty inside the world whenever I want, as my job!"

"Wow," he said softly, and I smiled at the idea of it. "You say it with such conviction. I hope you get the opportunity to get that dream one day."

"Me too."

"You'd be great at it."

"Mmm-hmm…" I murmured softly, closing my eyes again and huddling close to Ignazio.

"Are you tired, Tamzin?" he asked, rubbing my arm gently with his hand under the blanket.

"Yes. Must be from the wrestling."

He laughed brightly, and I lifted my head and smiled at him.

Then I remembered the slap I had given him earlier, and I took my hand from the blanket and reached up to touch his face, gingerly turning his head and looking at the cheek.

"No scars. I was only kidding about that before."

I moved my hand and rested it on his shoulder, and he turned his head to me and smiled.

"I'm sorry I slapped you, Ignazio."

Looking up into his gentle eyes, with his arm around me and the candlelight flickering in front of us, I felt penitent and mean for striking him earlier, and I reached up and turned his face to the side again.

"I'm sorry," I said again, and I cautiously leaned forward and gingerly kissed the smooth skin of his cheek.

He turned toward me and smiled brightly, and I laid my head on his shoulder again and watched the rain.

"Tamzin?"

"Hmm?"

"Look at me."

I raised my head from his shoulder and looked up at him, and he untangled his other hand from the blanket, the one not around me, and reached for my face.

He gently tilted my chin up toward him and gazed at me for a moment before he leaned toward me. I tensed up, but when his lips met mine I closed my eyes, taking in the gentle tenderness of it. He lingered there for a moment, his arm holding me close, and then he pulled back, ending the gentle kiss, and watched for my reaction.

Instead of giving him the smile he was probably anticipating, I reached up and excitedly intertwined my fingers with his hair, suddenly desiring to reciprocate. I brought him back, taking his lips back to mine, and then I pulled back and gave him the excited smile he was watching for. He smiled brightly with me, and I smoothed the back of his hair with my hand and grinned.

"And no more hair pulling, either. I promise."

He burst into laugher, his eyes shining with delight, and I laughed with him.

Then he got me to lay my head back on his shoulder, and after a moment he spotted my forgotten phone in the corner of the room.

"What were you listening to?"

"You."

"Really?"

"Of course."

He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked my favorite Il Volo song.

"I'm not sure. I really like all of the songs…but I especially like Questo Amore."

I closed my eyes, and after a moment opened them and peered up at him as he began to sing.

"Guardi con quell'aria capricciosa…I tuoi occhi ruberei…"

I closed my eyes, listening to the warm cadence of his voice and feeling his shoulder gently rise and fall with his breath. His voice overpowered the slowing drumming of the rain, and it was all I could hear, all I could focus on…

"E la luna ti offrirei…Una vita in due io e te…"

I was warm and comfortable in his gentle grasp, and the warm glow of the candlelight grew distant as I slowly slipped into sleep listening to his voice…

There was a loud beep, and bright light flooded the room.

I opened my eyes and then quickly turned my face into Ignazio's shoulder, away from the overpowering brightness.

I felt him move and readjust his arms around me, and I felt cold for an instant before I was gently lifted from the ground and cradled in Ignazio's warm arms. Too tired to open my eyes, I felt him carrying me and saw the brightness before my lids lesson. I felt myself being lowered as Ignazio laid me on the bed in the darkened hotel bedroom. He moved away, and then a moment later returned with the blanket, which he draped over me. The last thing I felt before I slipped back into sleep was a tender good-night kiss, and then I heard the bedroom door closing.