Oh, my God. I really don't like this chapter. It is… I don't even know. I'm almost embarrassed by it. Oh well. I guess it's up to you, really. I think it's just too much fluff and angst and OOCness for one chapter.

SIGH.

On the bright side, I listened to the readers and updated fast!

Alright, so the first person to correctly guess Hunger Games last chapter was alchemyfreak42! Shineeeeeey gold star!

Reference ahoy!

'Mutation: it is the key to our evolution. It is how we have evolved from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet. This process is slow, normally taking thousands and thousands of years. But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward.'

Methinks that one is pretty obvious.

Anyways, a warning for this chapter (in case you somehow didn't get it from the chapter name). It contains mentions of suicide, so feel free to skip this chapter if it is a touchy subject with you.

Another warning - contains some WAAAY OOC characters...

Of Sake and Suicide

"Zzssnuufff…" Edward's metal arm shifted as he snored and rolled over. Slowly, one lukewarm water bottle slipped down his shoulder and flopped to the floor with a splonk!

"Hwuh?" His eyes snapped open and the room came into focus and out of fuzzy smudge. He inhaled a deep breath, catching a scent from the couch. The musky smell of Roy's sweat and unique cologne.

He smirked a little.

Looking to the side, he saw the bottle on the carpet and the sleepy realisation dawned on him. It musta fell off.

He twitched his auto-mail joints and happily noted that they were no longer so painful. They felt a little disjointed, but otherwise okay.

He swung his legs off the couch and stood up, stretching his back and throwing a few clumsy jabs. Deciding that since he was awake now he might as well head down to the bedroom, he picked his jacket off the back of the couch and dragged his feet down the corridor.

He moved towards his bed, getting down on his knees to curl into his pillowy thing like some little forest animal. He looked over to Roy a few feet away, who had collapsed onto his side with a book in his fingers.

Huh, Edward thought. Didn't take him for much of a reader… Wonder which book he's got.

He pushed himself up on one arm to see the cover.

Edward's pupils contracted and his heart froze. No way!

He scrambled over, opening the book to the page Roy's hand was trapped within. He turned limp as he read over it. Halfway through the Eastern Rebellion section…

He looked worriedly at the man, his golden eyes clouded with confusion and grief. Why would you torture yourself like this…?

Roy's eyes darted about feverishly underneath his eyelids, and a thin sheen of sweat slicked his forehead and drenched his hair.

He mumbled barely distinguishable pleas under his breath.

Edward placed a hand on the man's shoulder and shook him gently. "Roy. Roy, wake up."

"Nnghhuh…!" Roy started awake, his black eyes wide and filled with terror. Chest heaving, he shook his head vigorously and coughed as if being pulled from underwater.

"Ed…" he choked out, gulping in his haste to erase his fear. "Kah… Hah… Ahah…"

"Calm down," Edward said, exposing his palms. "It's just me. You were having a nightmare, so I woke you up."

"Oh," Roy sat up, breathing shakily. His eyes were still hazy and out of it, making Edward wonder if he really was awake after all. Something caught the boy's attention - a faint scent clinging to Roy's person.

"Roy…" Edward's eyes narrowed. "Roy, were you drinking?"

The man didn't answer, seeming preoccupied with controlling the panic fluttering within his chest.

"Wait here," Edward said, slightly concerned. "I'll get you a glass of water from the bathroom."

Roy didn't respond, just kept his eyes on his hands and panted heavily. Edward spotted the half-empty bottle of sake on his way out.

He made his way down to the bathroom, looking around and eventually resorting to transmuting a glass out of the shower door. It looked pretty much the same - the only difference was that the door would be a little thinner.

Normally, the two would order whatever drink they wanted from the maids, but Edward felt like this was a better course of action. He didn't want any more pressure on Roy than necessary.

He'd just finished pouring the glass when he heard something. At first, he thought he was imagining it, but no; there it was again. A quiet click…click…click… in the background.

It sounded like someone snapping their fingers.

Edward whirled around on the spot, glass in hand and hurried down to the room. "Roy!"

Droplets of water hit the floor as he ran.

The man was settled against the far wall, curled up with his knees tucked into his chest. His eyes were glazed as he stared over his arm at the floor, as if he were sleep-walking. But he wasn't, was he? Edward had woken him up, hadn't he?

And the man was clicking his fingers, slowly, deliberately, carelessly, to no avail - without friction or circles his flames would not ignite - and hopelessly…

…at himself.

His arm was drawn out at full length, his fingers pointed back towards his body and he just snapped, his eyes blank and hollow.

"R-Roy…" Edward broke off, his advance faltering. Boy, was he glad he'd taken the gloves.

"Why won't it work?" Roy whispered to no-one. "Why won't it just kill me? It's not fair. I should be the one to die. Not them. So why won't they let me?"

Edward stepped forward, but Roy's gaze turned sharp and he shouted, "Why won't any of you let me do this?!"

Edward halted, sincerely hoping the rest of the ambassadors were heavy sleepers. He made shushing movements with his hands, trying to get the man to understand and hissed, "Roy, stop!"

Roy snorted angrily and reached for his suitcase, flipping open the lid. "Fine! If not one way, another!"

Reaching inside, the man whipped out the pistol Hawkeye had supplied him with and pointed it towards his forehead clumsily. "There."

"Roy! What the hell?!" Edward tried his best to control his voice, but it was rising out of sheer panic. "Put that thing down right now!"

"Yeah, right." Roy's tired eyes searched the room. "You won't stop me this time. If I'm dead, more Ishbalans will live."

'More Ishbalans will live'…? Edward's eyes stretched wide with dawning realisation. Damn idiot's still asleep! He doesn't even know where he is! He thinks this is still Ishbal!

"Roy," Edward continued, keeping his voice low and confident. "You need to listen to me. This is not Ishbal. We're in Kambei. I'm Edward Elric, I'm a State Alchemist under your command. You're a Colonel now. Put the gun down."

Roy glared across the room at Edward, his eyes sparking with distrust. Those eyes, so lonely, so comfortless, so isolated. He was by himself, and he was scared.

"Put down the gun," Edward repeated softly, moving closer. "It's not Ishbal. The war is already over. There's nothing more to be done about it. Move on."

"How can I move on from that?" Roy whispered. "Tell me how I can go back to how I was before that. Tell me how I can take back what I did. Tell me how I can live with this, Edward!" The man raised his volume, shaking with rage and grief. "Tell me that!"

Edward smiled wearily. "That's right. Edward. It's me."

Roy's eyes widened and his hand trembled. He tossed the gun across the room with a clatter and sat back against the wall, blinking in confusion.

He looked at Edward in mute shock, shivering violently. He shook harder as he said, "I did it again, didn't I? Threatened to kill myself?"

Edward nodded, closing his eyes and sliding onto his knees. "Yeah. You did." He opened one eye. "But 'again'?"

Roy put his head on his knees. "God. Ed, I am…so sorry."

For once, Edward didn't know how to reply. He just let relief flood his limbs.

"I'm sorry," repeated Roy. "I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot. A jerk. What kind of a man does that to a kid? I'm so sorry. Sorry. See, this has happened a couple of times before… When I've been thinking about Ishbal… When things get tough… When I'm stressed, you know. If they overlap, and I get some alcohol into my system… Damn, I am so sorry."

Edward looked at Roy, his expression a mix of relief, confusion, tiredness and worry. "It's okay."

"No, it's not," Roy insisted. "I'm useless. I really am. I'm sorry. I can't try to explain what that was, or anything. I can't even tell you what just happened. Sorry."

"It's alright," Edward told him. "I get it. I woke you up in the middle of a nightmare, you're half drunk, you're pretty frazzled overall; stressed, tired, worried, scared… It's understandable."

"It's not even…" Roy sighed weakly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I keep putting you through crap like this. I don't think sometimes. I don't even stop and say, 'wait, he's just a kid'. I dragged you into the military for your skill and to help you and Alphonse get your original bodies back…but you almost get killed at least once a week, and no doubt you've seen some stuff…" He let out a cough and broke off.

"Whatever happens will," Edward replied. "I can handle it. It's not even your fault."

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry," Roy said again. "And I'm sorry about this next part too. You know…you can only be in the military so long without having to kill someone… I don't know…if they'll make you… I can't stop them if that's what they…"

Roy was silent again and Edward joined him.

He didn't continue, just softly mumbled, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." It was starting to freak Edward out a little.

After about the seventeenth one, Edward heard Roy's voice crack. He looked up.

The Colonel had his head buried in his knees, and was shaking with his ragged breaths. He choked out a few more apologies. "I'm so-orry…"

Edward crawled across the room towards him, and Roy eventually looked up. His dark eyes were ringed red and dark shadows hung underneath them.

His eyes shone bright with tears. One more thing to deal with and he'd collapse, have a mental breakdown, he'd start crying like the useless IDIOT he was.

"Look at me," he whispered, so softly Edward had trouble hearing it from a couple of feet away. "Look what all this has pushed me to. All this goddamn stress. I'm a wreck. Edgy, tired, weak and almost crying. And I'm supposed to be a 'hero'."

"Even heroes have to be weak sometimes, don't they?" Edward reasoned, shuffling up to the wall beside his superior.

"I'm a grown man, Ed," Roy mumbled. "I have an entire platoon back in Amestris. I have people relying on me to get the work done, not break down when it gets to be too much."

"As if any of that changes anything," Edward replied. "I'm fifteen. I'm a State Alchemist - that's almost equivalent to Major Armstrong. If I wanted, I could have people assigned assigned to work under me or anything. My little brother is relying on me to work everything out, and everyone else is waiting for me to do it too. That's a lot of pressure, but you should know that."

Edward felt a lump rise in his throat, but he continued nonetheless. "Everyone always assumes Al and I mustn't feel much stress all the time, just grief and frustration, and that we endure it all so well. But they don't know how much pressure that is. They don't know that Al's body could break at any time, and we mightn've have anywhere near as much time as they think. They don't know how I feel, knowing that Alphonse's life is in my hands. But they give us their kindness anyway. Everyone looks at me and they sometimes don't realise how much pressure their support puts on us. That's one more person we have to show we can do it, we think. That's one more person who expects us to succeed."

Edward's finger trailed along the floor. "You can understand that. I don't know who I am to say this, but…I'm pretty sure you know what if feels like to be in my position. We know the same stuff. Stress and frustration. Fear and anger. Pain and regret. Most of the time we don't get along, but it's because we're…pretty similar. We can get along perfectly when the situation calls - like in a fight or something. Because we both know what we're gonna think."

Edward shifted right up next to Roy and pressed into him, feeling the man's side still trembling and his breath hitching. "They call me 'Hero of the People'. But I'm not always a hero. I'm not one hundred per cent strength and endurance. I'm weak sometimes. All heroes are. I know that, Al knows that, Hawkeye knows that, you know that. Anyone who's ever been called a hero knows that."

With his side pressed against the Colonel's, the man who he'd come to trust almost as much as he trusted Alphonse, Edward finally felt like he could do whatever he wanted. He didn't need to keep up a strong face anymore. Roy knew he could do that, so there was no reason he needed to prove it. He could spoil his reputation now. Roy knew he was strong.

Roy was the same. Edward's analysis had proved it; he knew what strength was, he knew what weakness was. And he knew that you could never have one without the other. Edward knew he was strong.

Trust had been established, in a different way the pair shared with Alphonse or with Hawkeye - they didn't need to appear strong for each other now, because both already knew that they were.

"All heroes are weak occasionally," Edward repeated, sounding stuffy. "So let's be weak together."

With that said, Edward bowed his head and finally let his pent-up emotions out, several tears rolling down his still-round cheeks. Seconds later, he broke into a fit of sobbing, his whole body shaking.

Great. Now look what you've done, you ass. Roy looked at Edward, hating himself for making the boy cry. Couldn't he ever not mess up? What was wrong with him?

Defeatedly, he gave in as well, his poker-face having vanished long ago. He kept his eyes shut, but it didn't seem to help as one small tear escaped and trailed down his cheek.

"Can't take it anymore," mumbled Edward, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. "Too much pressure."

"I do know what you mean," Roy returned. He reached out and put his arm around Edward's shoulders, pulling him in closer. "I do know what you mean."

Edward sniffed, but it was in vain as he started crying all over again, attempting to dry his eyes on his sleeves. "It's hard."

So childlike. Too childlike. It wasn't… It wasn't Ed. Roy looked at the boy crying beside him and just let all his problems scream 'PILE ON ROY!' before crushing him down to the earth. Another couple of tears worked their way free. "It's too hard."

"Not quite impossible," Edward continued, calming a little as Roy rubbed his side in a soothing, rhythmic pattern. He closed his eyes and leant against the man.

"But damn well near it, right?" Roy finished, resting his chin on top of Edward's soft hair. He too closed his eyes.

"Thought…I was gonna…" Edward hiccuped before going on. "Thought I was gonna lose you."

"But you didn't," Roy pointed out. He rubbed the boy's side again, feeling his warmth and the way he was shaking. The way they were both shaking. "You didn't. I'm still here. I'll always be here. If you need someone to look out for you…although nowadays it seems like it's more the opposite. And I'm supposed to be the parent in this stupid assignment."

Edward murmured something Roy couldn't hear and whimpered, curling in a little closer. "But you are more like a dad though. I'm more like… I dunno. A boy you randomly adopted who's also your subordinate who has to look after you because he was asked to and you're too stupid to do it yourself."

Roy smirked. "Yeah. Something twisted like that."

"Not twisted," protested Edward. "Feels fine to me. No-one's ever treated me like this…like a father would before. Even if it is just a mission."

This might not be 'just a mission', Roy thought. I might actually…really think of you like a son.

"Mmph." The boy yawned against Roy's side, sniffing and closing his eyes again. He wrapped his arms around his knees and put his head against Roy's side.

The Colonel felt a flash of rage burn through his body. Edward was tired from looking after him, and trying to keep him from breaking down (due to Hawkeye's ever-faithful efficiency, no doubt) and making sure that he didn't fall down under the pressure.

And who's fault was it?

Who had brought harm to his precious subordinate?

Who had dared to try such a thing right before the Colonel?

Who's ass did Roy have to kick?

Claudio Rico Aerugo.

Roy's eyes burned bright as Edward's gentle hiccuping slowly died away. He clenched his free fist as an almighty surge of fury flooded his bones. Hatred fed the fires of anger, and he had to take a deep breath to keep from striking out at the wall.

Claudio would receive justice for what he'd done. Hurting someone Roy cared about was a crime that could not go unpunished. It just couldn't. Roy would see to that with his own hands.

And Roy cared for Edward like family.

Looking down at the teen's half-asleep face, the man softened. Yes, he would later do all in his power to make his strength known to Claudio, but for now Edward was the one who needed his attention.

And frankly, Roy wanted to be near him too.

"Funny, isn't it…?" the Colonel mumbled, tugging Edward's hair tie free of his black bangs.

The boy didn't respond.

Roy smiled. "The cover for this mission has nearly become a reality."

I suck.

This chapter has way too much stuff for something so teeeeeeeeny. (I think.)

Feel free to flame me because I probably deserve it for that, but keep in mind I might (WILL) get really sad. My only excuse is that Roy is half-drunk and Ed is really tired.

BUT NEVER FEAR! The story is getting really good where I'm up to writing, and the plot has thickened to something a billion times better than I ever thought it would. Even more fantastic, it's actually IN CHARACTER.

Review responses!

Sparky - Ja, one of my friends is really into that anime and I do know that a few of those voice actors are in there. I'll keep that on the list after I'm through with trying to locate the rest of Hetalia. :D

Guest (the one that reviewed the first chapter on December the ninth because I don't know if you're all the same guest or about five different ones) - YES TIMES INFINITY. I have previously researched this topic as I found it quite interesting, so I have enough data to write this. I'm actually writing it right now, but it won't get posted until later because of how far ahead I've written and how many chapters still need posting. -.-" Thanks for the suggestions, I have a brilliant idea!

FlamingFlyingFoxOfDoom - Have a happy wedding! XD

FullmetalAlchemist64 - Now we see why I made Ed take the gloves. ;D

ZAKURO AWAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *rainbows off in a magical tank engine!*

OMAKE OF DUMBNESS THAT I REALISED AFTER WRITING (imagine the characters in the following scene drawn in the same style as Arakawa's extras in the FMA manga);

"You can't stop me!" Roy tightened his grip on the gun.

"Roy, nooooo!" cried Edward dramatically.

Click!

…

The two alchemists sat in silence, Roy lowering the gun and Edward twitching a fair amount.

"That's right…" the latter mumbled weakly. "That gun's not loaded… The ammo's in my suitcase…"