Chapter 17

Finally we finished with the Canadian concerts and re-entered the U.S. I was glad to be back, and we spent our first night back at the same condos in Los Angeles we had been staying in when I first met the boys.

The following night was the banquet, and I let Barbara into my condo to pin up my hair for me. She had insisted on doing it, and I sat in front of the bathroom mirror and watched her in a handheld mirror. I squirmed and protested, and she constantly had to force me to be still, but when she finished I had to admit it was as beautiful as she said it would be. Then she left and I changed out of my T-shirt and jeans and got out the brilliant red dress. I held it in front of me in the mirror, admiring it for a few moments before I slipped it on and let the perfect rich red silk fall around me. I stood in front of the mirror for a long while in astonishment, turning and eyeing every part of the gown. I left the mirror to put on my shoes, and then returned to it. I smiled at my appearance, and then immediately heard a knock on the condo door.

"It's open!" I called, and Ignazio opened the door and came in alone, dressed up in his black suit, smart black shoes, and red bow-tie, with his hair looking silky and his eyes glittering with eager excitement. He closed the door and then turned to me, and froze on the spot. His smile faded, and he stared at me, his eyes widening slightly.

"What?" I demanded, putting my hands on my hips. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

He watched me in awe and smiled slowly, gazing so sweetly at me that I dropped my arms and waited for him to speak.

"Wow…" he breathed, "You look…incredible." I smiled and looked down at the shining red cloth and then at my face in the mirror, seeing Ignazio smiling at me from behind in the reflection.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, and I turned back to him and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess so. It feels weird to be without my camera, though."

"You'll adjust. We'll have so much fun tonight!"

He came close to me and held out his arm, which I dismissed and instead reached up to adjust his crooked bow tie.

"Now!" I said, and then decided it'd be appropriate to take his arm.

As he led me out the door and down the steps, he looked at me and smiled.

"Tamzin, will you dance with me tonight?"

I shrugged.

"I guess so."

"Is that a promise?"

"Sure, I guess so."

He observed me for moment, then smiled.

"You're not wearing heels, are you? You're the same height."

"Nah, I'm not really into heels. I prefer these."

I lifted up the bottom of the dress and extended my red high-topped foot, and Ignazio looked down at it and then began to laugh. He pulled his arm closer to himself, pulling me closer with it. He leaned forward as if to kiss my cheek, but I tensed up with surprise and looked away.

We went to find the rest of our group, and Barbara was ecstatic to see me in the dress, though she chastised me for the shoes when she noticed them. She demanded that the boys and I take a picture together, which we did, but it made me feel funny again that I didn't have my camera. As we all went to the car and got in, I kept having the urge to locate the camera, but then I realized that it was back at the condo.

As we approached the building, I peered up at it in astonishment from the car window. It rose high into the chilly evening sky and loomed over the little car, and I imagined all the people inside awaiting the entrance of the boys. I looked over at the three of them, and Ignazio caught me eye and smiled. I turned back to the window and watched people getting out their cars and going inside in their suits and party dresses.

We went around the back of the building so the boys could go up onto the stage and address everyone to begin the party.

"Come on," Ignazio said backstage, offering me his arm, "Let's go make our grand entrance."

I shook my head quickly and stepped back.

"What's the matter, Tamzin?"

I looked reluctantly at the stage and shook my head.

"Go make your entrance."

"Come with us. We're all going out, Michele and Barbara included."

"Oh… Okay."

He offered me his arm again, but I refused to take it, deciding instead to stand beside Barbara on the side of them.

They got their microphones, and after a quick moment of discussion, the six of us all walked out onto the stage. There was a roar of applause and whistling, and I stared dumbfounded at the large number of people attending the banquet. This was a bigger celebration than I had thought, and I had the impulse to reach for my camera.

The boys smiled and waved at the crowd, then addressed them, thanking them for coming and speaking briefly about their recent touring and about the Christmas CD.

I panned the crowd, not paying much attention anymore to the boys, until I heard Piero say, "We'd also like to introduce the newest member of the Il Volo team…"

My head snapped up and I turned my gaze to him as if to ask "What are you doing!?", but he just smiled eagerly at me out of the corner of his eye.

"A brilliant, ambitious person, an attendee of Harrison Academy and our new photographer…" Ignazio continued slowly and dramatically.

"Tamzin Montgomery!" Gianluca finished with a flourish, and Ignazio stepped away from them to take my hand and pull me to the center of the stage. I stood frozen above the cheering crowd, watching them with uncomfortable surprise as they all stared back at me and applauded.

"Smile, Tamzin," Ignazio whispered into my ear, laughing softly, and I offered the crowd a nervous grin and then stepped away from the middle of the stage. I returned to my place beside Barbara, trying to stop myself from blushing as I felt the crowd's eyes still on me.

The boys thanked everyone again, and then they went backstage to pick up the microphones. Barbara and Michele went down the stage's steps, and I followed the boys backstage.

"Boys!" I shouted, and they all turned to me, grinning. "What's the big idea!?"

"We just wanted to introduce you," Ignazio said, smiling, and I gave him a fierce glare, which made Gianluca laugh.

"We just wanted to show you off," Gianluca said, setting down his microphone, "Let everyone know we've got a Harrison girl!"

"You couldn't have told me about it!?"

"Aw, that would kill that surprise," Piero said, laughing, and I turned my glare on him until Ignazio took my arm and said it was time to go out and mingle.

"But I don't know anyone."

"That's why you can come with me. I'll introduce you to people."

"Oh. Okay."

I shied away from his hand on my arm and went to the curtain, peering out at all the unfamiliar guests. Ignazio watched me for a moment, observing me.

"What?" I asked, noticing his intent supervision.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course."

"Okay. You just seemed a little sad."

"Let's go now."

I followed Ignazio back onto the stage and down the side steps, where we were immediately surrounded by a group of people that Ignazio hugged and spoke with in rapid Italian.

"Our producers and set designers," he told me in English, then introduced me to each person, telling me each of their roles in Il Volo with gracious comments about every person. I recognized two of them, Gatica and Renis, from the Christmas album photoshoot in Chile.

When they left us, Ignazio leaned toward me and pointed out a woman a few feet in front of us.

"Do you know who that is?"

I gawked at her.

"Is that…Barbara Streisand?"

"Yes! Barbara!" he called, and the woman turned. Her face lit up when she saw him, and she hurried over and took his face in her hands as he laughed.

"Oh, my Ignazio! Don't you look handsome!? I've missed you so much!"

Ignazio hugged her and spoke happily to her, and turned her attention to me. I sheepishly accepted her praise of my work on the CD cover, and after a moment Ignazio led me further into the crowd of people.

He greeted everyone who passed him as if they were all his best friends, and so many people hurried up to see him that I shrunk back from the excited crowd and amused myself by looking about the huge, lavishly decorated building and picking out Piero and Gianluca in the crowd. There were Il Volo pictures and CDs everywhere, and rich red curtains on the walls with Christmas decorations scattered throughout the building. It was deafeningly noisy and the lights above were bright, and I kept to myself until Ignazio pulled me into the conversion, after which I retreated back again. I felt uneasy without my camera, and I constantly had the urge to find it,

Ignazio introduced me to producers, mentors, collaboration artists, marketing directors, and loads of other people who were very professional and important, and I began to wish for the quiet condo and my familiar photos. I obediently followed Ignazio wherever he went, but drew back from his touch and absentmindedly listened when he spoke to me. I felt him watching me occasionally, and I looked up and smiled to reassure him that I was having a good time.

I was hungry, and I was glad when people began to take their seats for dinner. Ignazio led me to what he jokingly called the "table of honor," where the three boys and I sat with Michele and Barbara and a few producers. I focused on the food and listened to the conversation around me without contributing to it.

I turned in my chair and looked over all the people throughout the enormous room, and was a little unnerved to find some watching back.

I was content to sit and eat beside Ignazio, and I listened to the subdued din of the people as they ate together. As people began to finish eating, they got up and began to walk around again, talking and laughing and moving to sit at other tables. I sat quietly beside Ignazio and watched them, thinking and feeling the lack of a camera in my hands. Everyone was so important and well-known, with each of their roles in Il Volo's success, and I felt greatly out of place as I watched Piero and Gianluca get up and talk with people, hugging and praising and having fun.

"Tamzin? Tamzin…"

I looked away from the crowd and turned to Ignazio, who was watching me intently.

"You have a strange look on your face."

I shrugged and looked back at the people.

"You've been so quiet tonight, Tamzin. What are you thinking about? Aren't you having fun?"

"Yes."

He watched me quietly for a moment, and then shook his head.

"No you're not. What's wrong, my dear?"

I looked up at him and offered a small smile to appease him.

"I'm okay. Do you want to go mingle again?"

"No, I want you to tell me what's wrong."

I observed his sincerity, and then looked back at the people and sighed, giving in to his request.

"Everyone's just so important here, Ignazio."

"Yes…And?"

"And I'm just the photographer! I feel like I shouldn't be here."

"What? Tamzin, you deserve to be here. You're the best photographer we've ever had!"

"Thanks, but I'm still only the photographer. These people are singers! And producers! I feel so out of place. I should've stayed at the condo and worked on organizing my photos like I had planned to do before."

"You weren't planning on coming?"

He looked very surprised, and I shrugged and nodded.

"No. I thought it was implied that I wasn't coming. Being the photographer isn't exactly a crucial role."

"Okay, no. We've got to put a stop to this," he said, rising from his seat and pushing his chair back. "Come on, Tamzin."

"Oh, geez. What can of worms have I opened now?"

He laughed and reached down to pull me up.

"Where are we going?"

"I've got some things to show you."

I sighed.

"Ignazio…"

"Come on."

He led me briskly through the energized crowd to the foyer of the building, where he pointed out a huge Il Volo themed display containing many of my photos.

"Come see."

"Can we not?"

He took my arm and I rolled my eyes but didn't pull away, letting him pull me to the display though I knew where he was going with his mission.

He brought me up to the table and pointed to the poster containing the new album cover.

"For starters, whose photo is that?"

"Ignazio…"

"Who took the photo, Tamzin? Who was the one who took the photo for our new album cover?"

"Me! Me, Ignazio! Yes, I am fully aware that I am the one who took the picture!"

He picked up a copy of the CD and opened the case, pulling out the booklet of lyrics and flipping through it.

"Whose pictures are in here?"

"Mine."

He waved his hand over the sheets of photos on display on the table and smiled at me.

"Whose are these?"

"Mine. I know, Ignazio."

"Whose photos are on the Il Volo social media pages?"

"Mine."

"Whose-"

"Mine, Ignazio! I get it! I take a lot of pictures!"

I glared at him in exasperation, but he looked gently back, his expression shifting to a somber gaze. I turned away and looked at the people swarming throughout the entryway, the din of their voices getting louder as more people came in to admire the display.

I felt as if I had had enough of the party, and I turned away and looked at the staircase leading to an upstairs balcony. Ignazio followed my gaze and then didn't hesitate to follow me up the stairs and onto the landing at the top. I stole away from the noisy conversation into the dark chill of the night as I pushed open a door on the landing and stepped out onto the balcony.

"Shut the door," I instructed Ignazio when he stepped out behind me, and the indoor noise quieted when he obeyed. I went to the railing and leaned over it, looking out at the darkened Los Angeles under and in front of me. I touched my hand on the railing, but then moved it back when I found it to be icy cold in the chilly November evening.

"Tamzin," Ignazio said softly, moving beside me at the railing and looking down at me. I glanced at him and then back over the railing as I awaited his lecture. "Tamzin, you are very important to Il Volo. We need you as our photographer. We need someone to document and capture on film the things that we do. We want people to have a peek into our world, onstage and off. Do you understand me?"

"Then why aren't I taking pictures tonight?"

"Michele wanted you to just enjoy the party with the rest of us, enjoy yourself as part our team. But do you understand that you're important to us?"

"Sure, Ignazio."

"Tamzin, look at me."

I looked at him

"Whether you know it or not, you're controlling how the public sees us."

"What? What's that supposed to mean?"

"The pictures you take, the way you portray us, is how the public sees us. Your pictures are on the CD cover, the lyric booklets, in many of our Youtube and promotional videos, and on our social media pages! People are getting updates on us from you!"

"Well, it's true that I keep people updated with the pictures, but you're the singer! Think about it, Ignazio! You go onstage and sing, you touch people's hearts with your music…I take pictures of it. You go on tour…I take pictures of it. You meet fans…I take pictures of it."

He shook his head.

"Don't compare our talents, Tamzin. The boys and I are trying to be the best at what we do, and you're doing the same, right?"

"Of course! You know I am, Ignazio!"

"Yes, I do! For heaven's sake, Tamzin, you're from Harrison! You're at the TOP of the photography world! We wanted specifically you to be a part of our team! Did you know that we all had a part in choosing our new photographer? It wasn't just Michele who picked you! We all loved your work! And Mr. Masters told us you were very spirited and ambitious! We wanted specifically you to work with us, and we made the right choice! Your photography is amazing! Your pictures let people into our world!"

I stared at him, absorbing his words with a newfound interest. It was less of a lecture and more of an enthusiastic rant, setting before me information ringing with flattery and seemingly undeniable truth. Ignazio's eyes shone with eager determination as he spoke, moving me to pay attention.

"You don't realize how much control you have, Tamzin! You're controlling how the public sees us! People learn about us from your work, and they follow our activity with your pictures. People treasure your work, and you guide them all to our music. Their opinion of us begins in your hands!"

I stared at him, incredulous, my attention captured in his declaration. I envisioned myself as a part of the team, as Ignazio did, and was astonished with the thought that it seemed…right. They had told me I was a part of the team from the beginning, but I had always dismissed it because I originally hadn't wanted to be a part of their group. Now, with all the hours of work and all my fervent dedication to the boys and my job, I suppose I had mentally shifted to being a part of the team without realizing.

"I control how the public perceives you," I repeated, and then smiled, "It makes me sound so… powerful!"

"Our team is very powerful!" Ignazio said, smiling with me. "And you are a part of it! You're a powerful part of the audio-visual team!"

"What!? That's a thing!?"

He laughed.

"Of course! That's the photographer, filmmakers, sound mixers…"

"I haven't heard of that before. Audio-visual team…"

"Yes, Tamzin. You're our photographer, and you're also part of our team."

I stared over the balcony, smiling softly as I considered this seriously for the first time, seeing myself as having great power and importance in the world of Il Volo. I saw my photos online and on the cover of the Il Volo CD, and my chest swelled with pride.

I thought about the apparent power I had with my photography, and my mind began to race as I thought about how much more I could do with the photography if I wanted to. I could make my own photography project for Il Volo, and then run with it like I did with my landscapes. I could go even more above and beyond what was expected of me, and do something that was technically part of my job but was more at the same time, something that I chose to do instead of the obvious to-do lists under my contract. Pick something for me that benefited them, and then carry it out to my own content! My heart quickened as my head whirled with excited ideas, things to take up and carry out with the same ambition as I carried out my landscapes! If Il Volo liked my project, I would allow it to be theirs. It they didn't see it the way I did, then it'd be mine to keep. I could do something more now, now that I was becoming aware of my place in the world of Il Volo. I could be the photographer, and also be more than the photographer.

"What are you thinking?" Ignazio asked, and I snapped back to the balcony and looked at him. He was looking eagerly down at me. "That spark is back in your eye," he commented, and I grinned with excitement.

"Oh, I'm just thinking…playing…So I could do some Il Volo themed photography projects, couldn't I?"

He shrugged and smiled at me.

"I guess so. What are you thinking of?"

He watched me closely as I smiled at him, then past him and laughed suddenly and loudly, the gleeful sound quickly resounding in the night.

He smiled eagerly, showing off his dimples as his eyes shone, and I gripped the freezing handrail in excitement, staring over the balcony into the night sky shining with brilliant stars as my mind raced. Ignazio stood quietly beside me, stifling his obviously lingering smile at the sound of my laughter, also looking into the dark as if waiting to see what I was thinking.

"Are you cold?" he asked suddenly, and I was struck with the realization that I was shaking. Whether from excitement or cold or both I was unsure of, but the air was rather chilly.

"I'm okay," I said softly, taking my hands from the freezing railing and looking at the palms that were turning red. I looked up at Ignazio, and he smiled and reached behind him, shrugging out of his jacket as he continued smiling at me.

He handed it to me, and I smiled back and took it. As I draped it around my bare shoulders and reached back to put my arm into the sleeves, Ignazio moved closer to help me. He held up the jacket and I reached back and slipped my arms into it, immediately receiving Ignazio's warmth lingering inside. I smiled at the coziness of it and reached up to adjust it over my shoulders, covering up some of the front of the dress, but I didn't mind so much. The jacket felt nice. I took the edges of the fabric in my stiff fingers and ran my hands down the front of the jacket while I looked up over the railing again. When I got down to my middle, Ignazio reached out and took my hands in his.

I tensed up involuntarily, and he turned my hands in his to hold them.

"Wow, my dear, they're so cold!" he remarked, his palms warm against mine. I stood still, feeling his hands in mine, the warm jacket around me and him standing so close behind me.

He released one of my hands and held the other one tightly so I wouldn't let go, pulling my arm over my head and turning me gracefully around to face him.

I was struck by the way he was looking at me, his expression tender and curious. I looked up at him, silenced by his gaze, and watched as he raised my hands to his lips and kissed them, bringing his lips not to the backs of my hands, but to my palms.

When he looked up, his eyes danced with joyful eagerness, and I shared his bright smile with him.

He gazed at me quietly for a moment, until I looked away and glanced at the doors behind him leading back to the party.

"Are you ready to go back?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"Not yet."

He let go of my hands and reached out to take me around the waist instead, and it felt natural for me to reach my arms up around his neck.

He leaned slowly toward me as if expecting me to move away, but when I didn't resist his grip tightened and he touched his lips gently to mine. I closed my eyes and took in his warmth and his arms around me.

After a moment, he pulled back and smiled brightly at me, his eyes dancing.

I smiled playfully at him, still in his arms.

"Brilliant," I observed, and when he laughed I did too.

When we reentered the party, with me holding onto Ignazio's arm, we found that Il Volo's "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" was blasting throughout the room. People had pushed aside some of the tables and were dancing together throughout the enormous room and laughing with the upbeat rhythm of the song. It was warm inside, and I handed Ignazio back the jacket and smiled up at him.

"Brilliant, they're playing your CD!" I said to Ignazio, and he smiled and nodded at me, his dimples showing.

"It wouldn't be a Christmas party without Christmas music!" he said, and I smiled and then turned to Piero, who danced past us with Belinda, a pop singer that Il Volo had collaborated with.

"Where've you guys been!?" he called over the music, "Everyone's been looking for you!"

"Oh…we just stepped out for a minute," Ignazio said as Piero danced away, and then he leaned close to me and said in my ear, "I don't know about you, but I've been to the moon and back."

I raised my eyebrows at him and then smiled playfully and tugged on his arm, "Come on, let's go sit."

"Sit?" he asked, pulling me closer to him and shaking his head chasteningly, "Oh no, no, no, Tamzin, you promised me a dance!"

"I did?"

"Yes! I believe your exact words were, "Sure, I guess so.""

I laughed, and shook my head as I eyed the people dancing.

"I don't dance very well."

"That's okay! We'll figure it out. Hey, there's the next song, perfect!"

"Okay," I said uncertainly, and he put down the arm I was holding and then dramatically offered me his hand as he went down on one knee.

"What are you doing?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"May I have this dance, Ms. Montgomery?"

"Why certainly," I said back just as dramatically, suddenly deciding to play along as I clasped a hand over my heart in mock surprise and placed my other hand in his.

He stood and smiled softly at me, dropping the playful act as he gazed at me and led me to an empty space of floor in the midst of the crowd.

"You put your hand here," he guided me, moving my hand to his shoulder, "And I take you here." He took me gently around the waist with his hand, and then held out his other hand beside me, "And then you take my hand."

I did as he said, and then he gently began to sway side to side with me.

The beginning of the song was slow and in Spanish, and I didn't recognize it until Gianluca's voice chimed in with, "Feliz Navidad…"

"Oh!" I said, "I know this song! I love this song!"

Ignazio nodded eagerly, pulling me closer to him as we swayed back and forth and turned in a circle as the pace of the music quickened.

He soon began to sing his own part, "I wanna wish you a merry Christmas…I wanna wish you a merry Christmas…"

His voice was so beautiful, and I smiled up at him as I listened.

"Sing with me!" he encouraged, and I quickly shook my head.

"No way, Ignazio!"

"Fine, then at least try a turn."

"What?"

He pulled up my hand and quickly spun me around, making me momentarily let go of him as I turned. When I faced front again, he took me back to him, pulling me close again by the waist as I reached up my hand to his shoulder again.

"How was that?" he asked, and I laughed gleefully in response, encouraging him to spin me around yet again and then pull me back to him like before.

"Look, Tamzin, salsa," he said, and then showed me to step forward with my right foot as he stepped back with his left, and then we would reverse.

I pulled away from him and did the steps on my own for only a moment before Ignazio came forward and eagerly took my hands, moving forward and back with me as I laughed and watched our feet, trying not to step on him.

I was quickly doing the salsa with ease, and when I looked up at him in excitement, he quickly leaned forward and snuck a kiss on my cheek.

"Ignazio!" I exclaimed, and he quickly twirled me around, laughing, and pulled me back to him. He pulled me close and began the gentle swaying with me again, but I insisted on doing more salsa, and he immediately obliged, singing along with his own voice again on the CD, capturing the attention of nearby dancers.

Near the end of the song he insisted on doing the slower dancing so that he could hold me close, adding in turns so that he had a chance to pull me closely back to him at the end and hear me laugh again and again.

He sang as we danced, and when he pulled me close after twirls he leaned his head forward so he would sing only to me.

In the last few moments of the song, he leaned his forehead against mine, still singing, and when the song ended with a flourish he quickly kissed my cheek again. He smiled and shook his head playfully, his eyes shining eagerly.

"And you say you don't dance very well! How was that though, fun?"

In response, I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, breathless with excitement and laughing giddily.