Greetings readers! I'm not in Turkey today. Not that I've ever been in Turkey, but it sounds like the kind of information you'd like to know. Or not. I dunno.

Maybe you'd like to know that my school holidays just ended or something. Or that my iPod did a Sherlock (jumped heroically from my hand and smashed into the cold, hard, concrete ground) the other day and now the screen's got a big crack in it. :P

But anyway, that was all totally irrelevant info there. Lets get on with it.

The reference goes to NorthernMage with Red Dog! Enjoy the awesomeness of that gold star!

This reference:

"But you were some weird hybrid, man-goat thing…woah!"

"Yeah. The politically correct term is satyr."

So, we're back in good ol' Amestris for most of this chapter. Hope you enjoy the antics of Team Mustang! (Plus Al.)

(And congrats to us for this story getting over 20,000 views!)

Of Phone Hacking and Plans Revealed

22 49 hrs, 8.5.14

EAST CITY, AMESTRIS.

EASTERN COMMAND, RECENT RECORDS AND STAFF ASSIGNMENT BRANCH.

Lieutenant Colonel Hughes flicked through the recent files, frowning in concentration. He was hell-bent on figuring out what exactly was so suspicious about the whole 'Kambei Peace Treaty Meeting', matter; something was off about it all, and he was going to figure it out, dammit!

He slipped off his glasses and rubbed them along his sleeve before chewing thoughtfully at the tips of those…whatever you called them. Glasses arms. Ear grabbers. He never remembered.

He placed them down rather forcefully, chiding himself for once again slipping into that old habit of his. Chewing on glasses was unacceptable. Bad Maes.

Instead his poked out his tongue.

Damn, he needed some rest.

Letting out a tense sigh, he slid his glasses back on and continued to read, this time into the recent call interception record between Kambei and Aerugo through Amestris' lines. Sure, they were allies now, but tapping the phone lines from Aerugo was an acceptable safety procedure.

In the Fuhrer's opinion, anyway.

Hughes' yellow-green eyes narrowed. That's an abnormal amount of calls on just one line… Even if their prince is out there.

One detail caught his attention. The dates and times of the calls. Aerugo put a call through to one particular Kambeian line each even morning, at exactly seven o'clock, and Kambei to Aerugo every other night at eleven. The phone line was registered as military, but Hughes recognised it's coding as 'disused'. He frowned and looked to the clock on the wall.

10.52.

I could make that! He jumped to his feet, throwing the records into a haphazard pile. He cursed as he realised he'd disorganised them all and started to tidy up hastily, but soon figured he didn't have time. He turned quickly, accidentally spraying sheets all over the place.

Somehow, a few ended up stuck on top of the ceiling fan.

"Crap," he muttered, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. He turned and bolted from the scene of the crime, sprinted along the corridor to Roy's office with his uniform flapping in his wake, and skidded to a halt before the great wooden door.

He smashed through the thing (adding his own footprint to the numerous stamps of Edward Elric's that marked his various spectacular entries) and startled the few staff who remained; Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc and Kain Fuery, thank heavens, Fuery.

"Lieutenant—" Hawkeye opened her mouth to reprimand Hughes' loud arrival, but he cut her off with a hurried wave.

"Sergeant! Follow me! And hurry!" he barked, unusually sharp for a man normally so friendly and childish.

"Y-yes, sir!" Fuery stammered, jumping to his feet and nearly falling out the door as he stumbled after Hughes. He shoved his glasses up his nose as they had slid down and straightened the headset around his neck as the pair dashed off down the corridor.

Hawkeye, knowing Hughes to act like this only when something was very serious, ordered Havoc over in her usual authoritative tone. "Lieutenant. Let's follow them."

Havoc nodded, ramming the last of a dying cigarette into the against-the-health-and-safety-regulations ashtray that really shouldn't be in an office (at least it was near a window, thought Hawkeye) and rising to his feet.

The pair half-jogged down the corridor after Fuery's and Hughes' rapidly retreating backs, earning looks of curiousity from puzzled late-workers.

First Colonel Mustang's men had volunteered to stay the late shift for overtime, and then they began to take jogs through the corridors? What was this, madness? They even looked somewhat serious!

Hughes pulled Fuery into the communications room and the two blonde soldiers arrived just in time to see him spread his arms in a beckon at the whole room, saying, "I gave you the line code and the equipment, so go crazy, you little genius! You've got seven minutes!"

Fuery blinked in surprise, but made for the nearest telephone/radio transmitter in the room. He paused, seeming to organise his thoughts.

"Can you do it?" asked Hughes, his eyes searching the younger man's.

"I think so. All the lines connecting Aerugo and Kambei run through Eastern Command, and I'm doubly sure I can trace the call if we already have record of it," Fuery explained, working loose the back of the device. "Theoretically speaking, I can use this line to divert the signal to reach this receiver as well as the one in Aerugo. It shouldn't be too hard…"

"So you can do it in a short time?"

"I should be able to."

"Awesome."

Hawkeye approached the Lieutenant Colonel from behind, Havoc at her heel. "Hughes, what's going on?"

Hughes watched Fuery pull out several cables to begin to work on the inside of the phone and frown in concentration. "I think I might have a small lead on just what's going on in Kambei. Remember when you told me that Edward mentioned Claudio acting suspicious?"

Hawkeye nodded, and Havoc looked over Hughes' shoulder at the young man at work with the complex hunk of machinery in the corner.

"Yeah, well, our records indicate an absurd amount of calls made back and forth between Kambei and Aerugo all from the same line, and I found that more than a little odd," Hughes explained. "So I got Fuery here to try and bug the line, see if we can listen in. It might be nothing, but I've got a strange feeling…"

Hawkeye gave her agreement. "I understand. Better safe than sorry. If it does turn out to be nothing, no harm done. If it is something…" She glanced back at Fuery, who had pulled an array of special tools seemingly out of thin air. "Well, we'll deal with that if it comes to it."

Hughes looked at the clock and frowned. Five minutes…

Looking back to Fuery, he blinked a couple of times before moving over and shaking the young technician's shoulder. "Hey, kiddo! I need you awake."

Fuery gave a start and set his screwdriver to work again, shaking his head and going more than a little red in the cheek. "Right. Sorry. Not used to working the night."

Hughes expression softened a little into a smile as Hawkeye and Havoc moved closer as well. "I don't think any of us are. Gosh, what I wouldn't give to go home and sleep in my own bed next to Gracia! How long's it been? Nearly a year, I think!"

"It's been just under a fortnight," Hawkeye corrected.

"Really? I guess having to stay in a different city so far away really has that effect on you, huh?" Hughes went blank for a second. His eyes widened and he exclaimed, "Wait, what if something happens while I'm gone?! What if some boy tries something with Elysia? What if he tries to hold her hand?! Crap, what if he tries to…"

Havoc rolled his eyes and Fuery smiled in some form of satisfied exasperation. Hawkeye raised her eyebrows a notch.

"What if he tries to…" Hughes' face darkened significantly and he wrung his hands tensely. His bright eyes grew wide with horror behind the flashing lenses of his glasses. "…kiss her?"

He straightened, catching the two other Lieutenants' attentions, whilst Fuery was too absorbed in his work to notice.

"That's it," he announced. "I'm going back to Central right now."

Hawkeye laid a hand on his shoulder, sighing a little. "I'm sure your daughter is quite popular with the other children, Hughes, but three-year-old boys have more important things in mind than kissing girls. That would just be 'gross'. Besides, I'm sure your wife will be able to look out for Elysia well enough without you. And you're needed here."

Dadzilla settled a little. "I guess you're right. Gracia is the best mother on the planet, after all. Did I ever tell you about this one time? Where she—"

"It's done!" Fuery said, leaning back a little and looking kind of shocked. "In record time! That's the fastest I've ever done that!"

"Brilliant!" Hughes cracked a grin, previous distress and long-winded tale apparently disregarded. It seemed there were times where comrades mattered more to the man than family stories. "And two minutes to spare, you prodigy!"

"Any calls made to that particular number will now be intercepted and sent here as well," Fuery told them, wiping his brow with his forearm. "I can put it onto a louder volume too, so we can all hear it."

"That'd be helpful," said Havoc.

Fuery jabbed his screwdriver back into the machine, fiddling around a little. He withdrew a few seconds later, and then the four began to wait, pulling up chairs.

Havoc lit a cigarette.

"Put that out," Hughes ordered. "You know those things aren't good for you. You might be alone and single, but I've got a family to get back to and smoking certainly isn't going to do us any good!"

Fuery nodded his quiet agreement. "It's not good for my breathing either. Plus it stinks."

The sheer wave of depression emanating from Havoc's being alone was enough to snuff out the cigarette, streams of tears washing down his cheeks. "You know that's why my last girl dumped me, right? She said I smelled too much like cigarettes. Well, she also said she'd found a better man, but either way she still left me…"

Havoc got a few sympathetic pats on the back as he sniffled and mumbled, "But later I saw her at a café with Colonel Mustang and I realised that it was the third time in as many weeks that he'd taken a girl from me. What a heartbreaker. He must have dumped them all or something, that jerk…"

He snapped out of his depression as the phone suddenly started to life, making a few ringing noises before a man's voice crackled out of it.

"Hello? Sergeant Albero? You there?"

"Yes, sir, Commander Marcello. Gunnery Sergeant Marco Albero here."

The four Amestrians listened intently, Fuery barely managing to stifle a loud yawn.

"Any news in the report?" the Commander asked, sounding tense.

"No. Nothing," came the reply. "You were informed about the weaponry being packed and shipped out yesterday, right? Otherwise, that's all, sir!"

"Good," responded Marcello. "But I have news from this end. The prince wants to move the date of the attack further up. I can't see why… He mentioned something about an unforeseen threat. He said he'd eliminated all obstacles but one. Turns out our targets will be a little harder to get at, for more than a few reasons. One being that whoever researched the other ambassadors who might have posed threats neglected to mention that Colonel Mustang of Amestris has a son."

Hawkeye and Hughes exchanged a glance at the mention of their commander's name, both wondering what was transpiring and neither knowing what it was leading to.

"Oh. But I still don't see why the attack should be moved forward because of tha—"

"None of us do!" Marcello snapped. "The prince said that he watched the two Amestrians fight in a demonstration and…oh. I see."

"Commander Marcello?"

"The prince said that a threat remained. He must have seen the Colonel fight - he's an alchemist, remember? He must want to attack sooner, before the Colonel can work himself back up to full strength."

The listening soldiers shared a look of puzzled worry.

"What does he mean 'back to full strength'?" Havoc asked in puzzled thoughtfulness. "Was there something wrong with him?"

Hughes' eyes narrowed when Hawkeye offered no input, the woman instead putting a finger to her lips. "Shhh. Let's listen."

"So what Prince Claudio must want…" Marcello paused. "He said to give him three days to take care of the last obstacle. He must want to use those powers of psychological destruction to destroy the Colonel's head. Or whoever else is in his way - his son maybe. I mean, with the stuff our intel guy found, about Ishbal and all, it shouldn't be so hard for him. He's got enough dirt to last a lifetime."

Hughes jumped to his feet, accidentally knocking his chair across the room. "What?!"

Hawkeye went rigid as she began to piece together what exactly was going on. No way.

Havoc looked to her and then to Hughes and then back at the telephone as if asking them to explain the joke, even though he knew it was a genuine predicament.

Fuery simply stared at the device and blinked several times.

"That sounds about right," Albero agreed. "I heard that the prince can manipulate just about anyone. And according to the reports, he's already got the Colonel down on his knees. Panic attacks or something."

Fuery's expression shifted to one of horror. "He what?!"

Hughes looked as if he were about to strangle the phone and Hawkeye seemed as if she weren't far behind.

"Alright. Anyway, we're moving the date up. Make sure everyone's ready over in Aerugo - all the weapons are ready. Three days from now, we take down the leaders of all countries that pose a threat to Aerugo - starting with Amestris. The Colonel and his kid go first since they're the biggest threat."

"Tch!" Hughes clenched his fists and glared at the radio as if it were the two officers. "Roy's not even the leader! Not even close!"

"Shh!" Hawkeye pointed. "That's exactly what the other one's saying."

"Yeah, but that Amestrian representative's just a lackey… It's the Kambeian Emperor we really want, isn't it? And his sons as well?"

"Yeah. And Claudio says he wants the Oratoan royal line wiped out too."

"But aren't they our allies?"

"They're trying to break away from us. Leaning more towards Amestris now. So the king wants us to take them all out so Orato can become part of our empire again. I thought you already knew this?"

"Only bits and pieces - our superiors are pretty tight lipped back here."

"And so they should be," Havoc commented icily. "If their soldiers are so stupid they'll discuss classified information on insecure lines!"

He too was shushed by Hawkeye.

"Well, that's all for the report," Marcello told the other officer, and unwittingly four Amestrian soldiers. "Pass that on to Commander Rosso."

"Yes, sir! Sergeant Albero signing off."

The line went dead and all four of them shared a glance.

"So…" Fuery shook his head, still struggling to make sense of it all. "…Aerugo is planning to…"

Havoc bared his teeth in a snarl. "Kill the Colonel?!"

Hughes shook his head, still glaring. "No. They're planning to toy with his mind until they break him and then they'll take him out. Ed too."

"That's horrible…" whispered Fuery.

"That's how foreign affairs with Aerugo often work," Hughes replied gravely. "Teasing and then total obliviation."

"So what do we do?" Havoc asked, lighting up another cigarette tensely.

"Well, we can't do nothing!" Hughes decided, rubbing his forehead. "Geez, what a mess."

Hawkeye, who had been silent the whole time, finally spoke up. "Lieutenant Hughes, cover me. I'm going to Kambei to extract Colonel Mustang and Major Elric. They are in grave danger and a retrieval mission is required."

"In that case, I'm going too!"

They turned to see the towering shape of Alphonse Elric standing in the doorway, his sheer size and posture making him seem quite formidable.

"Alphonse!" exclaimed Hughes. "When did you get here?"

"I heard you guys had a late shift, and I didn't have anything better to do, so I came looking for Lieutenant Hawkeye to see if she had any news on my brother. One of the other soldiers said they saw you all running in here." The armoured Elric made his way over to them, the metal of his suit clanking. "And turns out you all have quite a story. What's he done this time?"

"Actually…" Havoc ran a hand through his tufted blonde hair. "…it wasn't his fault for a change. The thing is—"

"Um, sirs? This is classified information we've just acquired," Fuery pointed out. "Are you all sure we're actually allowed to share it?"

Havoc opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it again in thought. When he spoke again, it was to say, "He's got a point… I mean, Alphonse is just a civilian."

Alphonse looked between the soldiers as if he couldn't believe they were debating the matter.

"And technically, we're meant to keep things like this hidden from the public eye," Fuery continued. "To avoid panic and stuff. I know I haven't been here all that long, and it might seem like I'm being pedantic, but…rules are rules, right?"

Havoc nodded. "We do have to apply some form of confidentiality, don't we?"

Hughes frowned. "It is the law…"

"He's my brother!" Alphonse exclaimed angrily. "I have a right to know what's happening to him! Isn't there some other law regarding the family of the officer?! I just want to know what's going on! Who's going to hurt my brother? What danger is he in? Please…!"

Fuery bit his lip as Hawkeye cocked her head slightly, her gentle brown eyes sympathetic.

Alphonse looked at the group pleadingly. "He's the only family I have left… He's the only anything I have left. Please. Tell me what's happening to my brother."

Hughes grinned and Hawkeye smiled a little.

"If you'd have let me continue," the man said, still grinning. "I would have told you that although it may be the law not to reveal this kind of thing to civilians, you technically already know, so…"

"We can tell you," Hawkeye finished. "If you keep it between us that we have."

The soldiers went on to explain the situation, which appeared even more dangerous upon second glance.

"Let me get this straight," said Alphonse in near disbelief. "Aerugo are planning to kill all the ambassadors at the meeting starting with Colonel Mustang…but they want to torture him first to weaken him, and big brother is in danger too. All because Aerugo is hungry for power. So hungry that they'd kill their own allies. And they plan to do so in three days time, by which stage they'll have 'broken' the Colonel, Ed or both."

"Looks that way," Hughes responded. "The way it stands, if Claudio manages to take out one of them, all their enemies ranks will be drastically weakened. If I were him, I'd be targeting Ed. Because that way Roy will be left with the knowledge that whatever happened to the kid was his fault. And if Claudio knows so much about Ishbal and what happened there, he'll manage to factor that in there too. Then Roy will give up, sick of people getting hurt on his account."

Everyone stared.

"What?" Hughes looked surprised. "I know how people's minds work. Doesn't mean I plan on doing the same as Claudio!"

Havoc shook his head resignedly. "I give up. I don't think anyone will ever truly understand you."

"Gracia understands me! Just the other day—"

"I'm going," Hawkeye deadpanned, cutting Hughes off yet again. "We need to get those two out of there in as covert methods as possible. Telling the rest of the military could result in an entire task force being sent out, which could end up igniting a full-on war between us and Aerugo, or even us and Kambei if our actions are misinterpreted. One or two people will suffice."

"In that case," Alphonse stood up from the chair he was sitting on. "I'm coming with you."

"Alphonse, I can't bring you," Hawkeye said. "You'd be far too conspicuous."

"You heard what I said before, didn't you?" asked Alphonse. "I can't sit idly by whilst Ed is in trouble. We're a team. The only reason I'm not with him now is because of the nature of the mission. I'm coming to rescue him. You can tell me not to so that I sneak after you anyway and we'll both be divided and easier defeated, or you can let me come with you so we'll be stronger as a pair. It's your choice."

"Both of you stop!" interrupted Hughes, shaking his head. "We haven't even decided that Hawkeye's going! And we've only got three days to do this - if you don't manage this, Roy, and probably Ed too, will both be dead! We'll have a better chance of rescuing them if we send a squad in—"

"And a better chance of starting another Ishbal, Hughes, with Kambei in it's place!" Hawkeye snapped. "We don't want that!" She took a deep breath and stood up until she was standing face-to-face with the man, her expression steady. "Apologies. That was out of line."

Havoc and Fuery were quiet, the matter having gone way over their heads.

"But there's only three days…" Hughes protested helplessly.

"Then we'll just have to get in and out in two," Hawkeye said firmly.

Alphonse moved in behind her. "We'll be there in one day, grab them and be gone the next. Back before you know it."

Hughes sighed. "I have faith in your skills, you two, but this might be a stretch even for you. I know I'd definitely feel more comfortable sending a few more people and to announce our intentions, but I do see what problems that could cause. That could even start a war between all of our allies, not just us, Aerugo and Kambei."

"That's why it'll just be the two of us. In and out, no problems," Hawkeye said.

"And what could a task force achieve that those two couldn't?" Havoc put in. "If they do get in trouble trying it, they've got Flame Alchemist Roy Mustang and Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric with with them - you four combined, that's basically the power of a small army!"

"A-and we're the command centre," Fuery added. "Directing from base."

Hughes eventually gave in. "Fine, fine. Just be careful."

Hawkeye gave a salute. "Yes, sir! I'm trusting you can think of an excuse as to why I will be absent?"

"Naturally."

"Then we leave tomorrow morning, as early as possible," Hawkeye said decisively. "Alphonse, pack your belongings."

Alphonse glanced over his shoulder, then back, then shrugged. "Done."

"Then that is that," Hawkeye said. "Meet me at East City station tomorrow as soon as possible. We're going to grab those two and make it back here with minimum problems and face the consequences as they come."

"As for the rest of us," Hughes continued, addressing Havoc and Fuery. "We'll be back here, doing all we can to make this extraction smooth and fast. Got it?"

"Yes, sir!" they responded.

As Fuery started working on returning the telephone to it's original function, one question hovered over the group's heads;

What about the other ambassadors?

The sound of a knock on the door startled Tyrell out of the medical encyclopedia he was flicking through, and he looked up in the direction of the sound. It was the middle of the night. Who on earth would visit someone in the middle of the night?! He frowned.

No-one ever needed to visit him.

With the exception of the maids, but they would always knock twice and announce themselves when they arrived, and he hadn't called for one and it obviously wasn't it a scheduled meal time.

No-one ever needed to visit him…apart from…

Tyrell opened the door and bowed down so that he was was parallel with the floor. "Prince Claudio."

"Not low enough, scum," the man scolded.

Tyrell barely had time to glance up before he felt Claudio's heel whack into the back of his head and he fell to the floor, smacking his jaw on the hard surface.

He bit his tongue, learning long ago that crying out just resulted in further injury, even more painful than whatever had come before.

"A…pologies, sire…" he murmured weakly.

"Hmph." Claudio glanced down to the teen sprawled at his feet. "Get up. I have orders for you."

Tyrell pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the throbbing pain in his head. No hands up for me, I guess, he thought flatly.

"Orders?" he echoed, watching as the prince made his way over to the sofa and sat to face the opposite direction without even casting his 'minion' a glance.

"Yes. For several reasons, the attack date has been moved forward. I will be through with the Colonel by then. Granted, our only other threats were the Grand High Elder of Mantiyon with his skills in alkemia and the Emperor of Kambei himself, being that his entire army is here. With them both in check, the Elder by the threat of his council's destruction and the Emperor held back by his own family, we just have to do away with the two Amestrians. Colonel Mustang is almost down, but the unforeseen problem of his son Edward remains."

After closing the door behind Claudio, Tyrell remained standing at the doorway with his vivid purple eyes darting about nervously. "And I am involved in this for which reason? I mean, taking out the enemy is your area. I am simply here to—"

"Seek out weaknesses and report them to me," Claudio finished. "Which is exactly what I need you to do now. Nearly."

Tyrell lowered his gaze to the floor as Claudio turned around to look at him, still sitting. The prince's dark eyes narrowed as he scrutinised his reluctant accomplice.

"Edward Mustang," he said firmly. "I need you to find his psychological flaws and bring him down within the next three days. By yourself."

Tyrell opened his mouth in defiance, but the glare Claudio shot made him think better of it.

"Mustang is proving to be more stubborn than previously anticipated. I don't have time to deal with his son at the same time," he explained icily. "Which is why I need you to take care of him for me."

Tyrell's eyes widened in horror. As if having to betray Roy wasn't bad enough, he know had to do the same thing to the one person in the world who had ever called him 'friend'.

Why was life so cruel to him?

He clenched his fists, slowly raising his gaze from the ground. Terror flooded his veins as he looked Claudio straight in the eye. The last time he'd ever done that was when he was six years old, and with the punishment he'd received he'd decided never to do it again. He summoned all the courage that existed in his slender frame and took a deep breath.

"No."

His voice didn't even shake.

Claudio raised an eyebrow. This was new. "'No'?"

"No," Tyrell repeated firmly. "I will not. I've let you push me around for years, sire, but this is the end of it. I'm not your dog anymore. I'm no longer the little kid you bullied all those years ago. I'm my own person, and you can't tell me what to do - least of all attack my own friends!"

"Oh, you'll do it," Claudio assured him, his expression nonchalant.

"Make me!" Tyrell taunted.

"You'll do it…because if you don't, I'll wipe out your whole family," said Claudio. "No, make that…"

Tyrell's eyes widened in horrified dismay.

"…your whole county."

Tyrell shook his head slowly, his violet eyes stricken. "No… No… Y-you can't do that…"

"I can. And I will." Claudio rose to his feet and walked towards the teen. "So, I'll say it again. You are to find the Mustang kid's weakness and do everything in your power to incapacitate him within the next three days, regardless of your feelings towards him or his father. I don't care how you do it, just do. Do you understand?"

Tyrell looked downwards, his expression defeated. "My orders are to do everything in my power to weaken Edward Mustang to the point where he is unable to engage in physical combat by using my skills to torture him mentally."

"And you will follow these orders? For the sake of your family and country?"

Tyrell bowed his head. "Yes, sire."

I know there was something I wanted to write in this space but I have no idea what it was and it's guaranteed I'll only remember after posting this.

Drop a review, I guess! Still appreciating them and all that jazz! (They're food for my SOUL.)

THANKS EVERYONE!

Review responses:

Yorokobi Asahi: You figured out he should go after Ed! You must be Hughes in disguise! LE GASP! Thanks for the great review!

Akarri: I update so often because I'm lame and I have no life outside of writing. Kidding, kidding. I think I've got the balance right. I just don't like to keep people waiting, mostly because I hate it when the stories I read don't get updated in AAGGEESS, so I don't want to do that to people. Thanks for thinking my story is great!

Victorious-Mind: No, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to kill Ed… He's too dumb to die… Thanks for the review!

Also, I'm pleased to announce that we have added a Finland, a Hungary and a Finland to our friendship group! Yay! (Shout-out to our Poland if she ever gets 'round to reading this like she keeps meaning to. XD)

OMAKE

Hughes hid behind a wall, panting as beads of sweat trickled down his face. He risked a glance around the corner, his heart pounding. Adrenaline burst through him as his assailant spotted the two strands of hair that stuck out of his head like TV aerials and started down the hallway towards him.

"HYAAAAAAAAAARGH!" The man screamed and threw his hands over his head, sprinting down the corridor away from the wrath of the librarian.

"LIEUTENANT COLONEL HUGHES! YOU LEFT THE RECORDS HALL COVERED IN FILES AND YOU NEVER CAME BACK TO CLEAN UP!"