A/N: I just wanted to take a few bytes to say thank you to those of you who have commented so far. It is much appreciate and very encouraging. Thank you to those who are reading this and the three pre-fics (prefix lol) that go along with this story. And a special thanks to dondena and Lydja-chan for multiple comments. One thing I'd like to clear up... when I had mentioned that Donnie had 'mates' I meant 'teammates', his bros. Thanks again!

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The next week is a difficult one. It's as if Sasha telling me that she is now entering the fourth and final stage of FFI has unlocked the disease upon her in full force. And there is nothing I can do to stop it. I tend to watch her more, assess her mental state by how her physical functions are slowing down ever so slightly. I don't know how much is reality and how much is just my mind playing tricks on me. She's drifting away slowly and it's driving me insane. I try very hard to balance my time in the lab and my time with her and Anya… Anya doesn't seem to notice anything different. Not yet. Toward the end of the week, however, I watch Sasha head toward the elevator to go home to her quarters and she just stands at the open door. I ask her what the problem is, why she won't walk in the elevator. She looks back me and says. 'I can't. It's full of water and I'd drown.' All I can do is stand there with her until the hallucination passes. After I walk her to her bedroom and watch her fall asleep, hoping she is sleeping, I sit with Anya in her room until she cries herself to sleep. I march straight to my own room and cry bitterly. This is why Sasha wanted me to hate her. This is why she said what she did. This is what happens when you get too close to people. You get hurt. And I'm the one to blame.

God, I can't loose two people I love in such a short amount of time!

Love? Great, it's happening to me too.

I push myself up and sit on the edge of my bed. I begin to think about my brothers again. I think about Raphael and how he warred within himself about his feelings for Amber. It was, at times, painful to watch him go through the process. Yet, the rest of us were enamored, hopeful and anxious. And when it finally happened, a new part of life suddenly became open to all of us.

It's quite obvious that Michelangelo and Arimi were made for each other. Whatever the reason the 'powers that be' had in wanting a mutant turtle and a Japanese girl to find one another and fall in love, we may never know. But love came, yet again.

And what about Leo? It's been… almost a three months since it happened. The first thing I'm going to do when I get home is search all things historic for him. Something tells me that Hamato Leonardo wouldn't, so quietly, disappear into the wrinkles of time.

And what of you, Donatello? What will you make of your story? Once you find the vaccine for Protagen will you even want to go home? You could stay here with Sasha and Anya and have access to all of the latest technological toys, see the world, become as famous as Sasha says you could be.

That would be nice.

Is that what you really want? You dreamer! You know, deep down inside that she won't last that long. So what are you going to do to make it easier for everyone?

I know exactly what I should do. I look over at the coffee maker Truth installed in my room and smile. Might as well get back to work.

…

The next week goes a bit better. I sit down and explain my method to both Sasha and Anya. "Ok ladies. This is what we're going to do. "I hand them each a tablet of paper with written instructions. "The plan is to keep you exercising mentally. The goal is… longevity." Sasha nods, understandingly and Anya nods as well, flipping through her pad. "Sasha, every time you meet someone here in the facility, whether it's once a day or ten times a day I want you to greet them in this way…"

I turn my attention to Anya. "I know who you are. You are Anya Jordan Gavnikov, a mutant turtle girl. You are my Internet student. I am your Internet tutor. You are very smart… and dear to my heart." I smile at Anya, meaning every word I say. She shyly smiles back and looks at her mother.

"Mother, do you understand?" She says. "Here, I'll do you… I know who you are. You are Sasha Jordan Gavnikov, a beautiful woman. You are my mother. I am your daughter. You are a horrible cook but I love you anyway." Anya grins as she sticks her tongue playfully between her gap.

Sasha laughs and rubs her nose against the girl's ridge. "Ok. I got it. I know who you are…"

"No Mother, Donnie already did me. You do him!" Anya instructs.

"Oh." She looks over at me, a little unsure. "I know who you are. You are Hamato Donatello, a mutant turtle. You are my… friend? I am your… friend. You love coffee a lot and are a very… patient individual."

"Mother, the last thing you're supposed to say is what Donnie MEANS to you." Anya smiles and shakes her head at her mother's fumblings.

I can tell that Sasha isn't too far gone to realize what her daughter is trying to do but she still looks at me, at a loss for words.

"It's ok Anya. I think your mother gets the idea." Sasha huffs in relief and I continue. "These statements, as you say them, should keep your denotative, connotative, institutional, relational and emotional connections strong. If repeating these things all day starts to get boring, that means you are doing just fine. It would also be best to let someone know where you are going at all times… and not to be afraid to narrate your actions as you do them… and…" I say as I reach over and touch her hand. "Don't be afraid to tell me if you have pain or if… you see something strange."

She nods and then looks through her note pad.

"There are some simple and fun mind games in there, just to keep you limber. Also I would like you to write down your thoughts at the end of each day. Try to jot down your sleeping pattern and duration." I say.

I turn to Anya again. "Ok kiddo, your job is at the end of each day; ask your Mom what she ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Ask her to count to one-hundred, ask her to say her alphabet backwards…"

"In English or in Russian?" Anya asks.

"Both. I need you to quiz her on everyday trivia. I left a lot of blank space there. I'm sure you can come up with some pretty daring things. Will you do this for her?"

"Yes, sir." She says and she starts to noodle on the paper.

Sir… I've never been called sir. Why did she say that… like she's been calling me that for years?

I shake it off and stand. "I know you have a lot of other things to attend to Doctor. I will be in the main lab for the remainder of the day, should you need me."

"What about dinner?" Sasha and Anya ask in unison.

I smile, warmly I guess. "Of course. Let's make it another late dinner, nine?"

"Ok." They say.

"See you later, Donnie!" Anya says.

"Have a good day." Says Sasha.

The elevator doors close before me and I hesitate to push the button. That felt oddly satisfying, a mother and daughter wishing well to the 'man of the house' going off to work.

Dare to dream.

I press the button and descend.

…

I give it my all in the lab until my eyes cross. I skip lunch and Troy and I put our differences aside and work hard toward a cure. I had told him about Sasha's advanced state. He didn't say much after that. He did say that he was going to visit her, and I was alone in the lab for a couple of hours in the middle of the day. Troy comes back and we finish up at a quarter to nine. I feel Troy watching me as I walked down the hall toward the elevator. For a brief moment I wonder what he thinks about me getting so close to Sasha… if I'm just being a diligent doctor or a helpless fool.

I stand waiting for the elevator to come and Carder strides around the corner. I watch him as he stands in front of me, looking a bit uncomfortable, not knowing if he should keep his arms crossed or fold them behind his back. His dark shades may hide his eyes, but there is an apparent question formed over his face. The edges of his mouth pulls down and he clears his throat.

"Can I help you, Carder?"

"Just curious about a few things… Donatello…"

Whoa he just said my full name! It came out like he was chewing on rocks but he DID finally call me by my name.

"What are you curious about?" I ask.

"I'm slightly perturbed by the fact that every time I'd gotten a call from Dr. Gavnikov for her to give me orders, she has the need to tell me that she knows who I am and how dear I am to her… you mind explaining?"

I tell him about Sasha's terminal condition in the most emotionally detached way possible.

"Hmm." Carder says thoughtfully. "Does Dr. Albright know this?"

"Yes, and I'm sure Truth and Devin have talked to either Sasha or Anya… I told Gleiv this morning in the rec-room."

Carder nods. "What do you plan on doing?"

"Well, I am committed to finding Protagen... I've decided to stay for as long as it takes… Anya needs the vaccine or…"

"I see." Carder says. He looks like he is deep in thought about something, quite possibly taking the news as badly as anyone else would.

The elevator door opens but I let it close. "Carder, did you know Dr. Perry a long time?"

"No, not too long. I met him a long time ago and only briefly."

"You must mean the Moscow mission?" I ask. "Gleiv told me that you were the pilot that flew them to safety."

"Did he now?" Carder huffs. "That kid is way too trustworthy. Just because it happened ten years ago, doesn't make it any less 'top secret'."

I shrug. "I happen to think it's a great thing you did and a big risk you took. If it weren't for you Anya wouldn't be here…

"I assure you I had nothing do to with the safe return of that infant turtle. That was all Gleiv's doing. The pilot just flies the plane after all."

"That maybe true, but you must have… well, maybe Dr. Perry just pays well."

Carder smirks. "You want to know why Perry put me on his list?"

I just look at him.

He sighs and rubs a hand over his forehead. "I know how to fly planes and I know how to keep my mouth shut. I also have special operative skills that Dr. Gavnikov decided to put to use in finding you. Dr. Perry was not a military man, he knew very few people in the ranks. I suppose he chose me because I was the only one he knew with my skills."

"So, you don't really have any social ties to the doctors… why were you giving me such a hard time?"

"It was my job to make sure you weren't like those other dangerous animals we found. Some of them killed my men. Only Gleiv and I are left from the recon fold. I wasn't taking any chances with you, no matter how eloquent you presented yourself."

I nod. "I guess I understand. I hope I've proven you wrong."

He snorts and rubs his left arm. I see some black markings on his left bicep. He must see my eyes wander there and he lifts up his sleeve. It's a tattoo. "Who's Rex?" I ask.

"Rex… is my dog… was my dog."

"I suppose you're not the animal-hater I thought you were."

"One thing I always know for sure, people will surprise you, Donatello… see to it that you do what ever you can to keep Dr. Gavnikov comfortable. And do your best to find the vaccine to keep that dear little turtle girl healthy." He says.

"I will definitely do my best." I say feeling a bit creeped out by his sudden kindness.

"Have a good evening." Carder turns and walks away.

That wasn't weird at all. I guess grief affects people in different ways. I call the elevator and head up to the penthouse. Anya is at the bottom of the stairs, grasping the railing, crying her eyes out as Sasha throws her poorly-made shawl into the flames of the chrome fireplace. I run up to her and restrain her. She won't stop screaming about the wolves.

I pull her down to the floor with me and once she stops fighting, she comes back to herself and sobs against my arm. I rock her back and forth.

"I know who you are, Donnie. I do." Sasha strains.

Anya appears beside us. She delicately caresses the short dark tendrils of her mother's hair. "Shh… it's ok Mother. It's alright. I love you Mother…" She coos.

I reach out and hold Anya's hand. This must be such a heavy load to bear upon her little shoulders. I watch how angrily the flames consume Anya's gift to her mother. Soon the bright fibers turn to ash.

I stand and pick Sasha up. I carry her to her room. Anya holds onto my shell and follows close behind. I lay Sasha in her bed. She closes her eyes trying desperately to rest. It pains me that she can no longer become unconscious. Her mind needs to sleep, but it can't. Anya and I go to the kitchen and I heat up some leftovers; we both pick at our food. We go to her room and she falls asleep during the movie. I leave quietly and go to my own quarters. These tears won't let me go.

…

I open my eyes and my stomach sinks when I look at the time. When will this night end?

I sigh harshly and call out. "Andrew, contact Devin McGaff."

"One moment please… There is no answer; would you like to leave a message?"

"No." Figures, it's midnight, she's most likely asleep. "Can you tell me where Devin McGaff is?"

"Her data-pad is navigating within the kitchen. It is not turned on."

"When is the last time her device was charged?"

"Seven days ago."

I guess she's still not very tech-savvy in her 'advanced' age. I get out of bed and pull on some sweatpants and my favorite t-shirt (I never thought I'd have one of those) and head out. I make it to the dining hall in less than two minutes. There is a light on in the kitchen and I shuffle my feet so I don't startle her.

I see her sitting at a small table in the corner. She is peeling potatoes; doesn't seem to mind when the skins miss the waste basket and tumble into a growing pile by her feet on the floor. Her movements are slow and careful. She looks as though she's in a daze. I rinse my hands in the sink, then walk over to her and sit in the empty chair. I take the extra peeler and grab myself a potato.

Within the next twenty minutes of silence, I glance over at her. She looks peaceful and full of sorrow at the same time. I feel like if I ask her how she's doing, she'll start to cry. But maybe that's fitting. She looks like she's peeling onions anyway.

"This is what I do, Donnie, when my mind won't let me sleep." Devin finally says. The scraping of starchy skin plays in the background. "Been having more and more nights like these lately. I suppose the menu for the next few days won't be a surprise to you." It was a kind joke but neither of us laugh.

"I take a part the toaster and then put it back together when I can't sleep." I say.

The corner of her mouth curls slightly. "There's one right on the counter. I don't use it much, but you can have a go at it, if it helps."

"I think the potatoes are working for now."

We sit and peel until the basket is empty. I was actually enjoying the monotonous rhythm we had set, and now that the basket is barren I feel how quickly my troubles race for my attention. I hate this feeling. Devin removes the basket and kicks out a full one from under the table.

Bless you, Ms. Devin.

Once we get into the second basket I feel more able to hold a conversation. "I have to admit that I was coming to find you so that I could 'cry on your shoulder', so to speak. I thought that if I could talk to anyone right now about how I'm feeling, it would be you. I don't know why, but I immediately knew why Dr. Perry trusted you."

"Hmm." She grins. "I hope I didn't disappoint, finding me tearing up over taters."

"Not at all… Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone."

After a couple of more scrapes of potato skin Devin whispers. "She is going to die, isn't she?"

My hand stops mid-slide. I purse my lips and close my eyes. I look down and continue peeling. "We all have to go sometime… in her case, maybe much sooner than we would like."

"I am ninety-three years old, Donnie. I feel sixty-three. I've raised three generations of Gavnikovs, and now four with Anya… Can you imagine how it feels to outlive every child you've raised?" She rests her peeler in her lap and a half-stripped potato rolls to the floor. I kneel in front of her and take her trembling hands into mine. I grab a napkin from its holder and dab the meandering tears from her wrinkled face. She takes the napkin and my hand. "I've had fun in my day but never married… I never had any babes of my own… this is my family… all I have left… my little girls."

I can almost hear my heart crumble at the sound of her quiet weeping. I lower my head, ashamed at my own tears. "I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to do to save her. I really do. I'm sorry I've failed… Ow!"

I hold the back of my head, wincing at the pain. I look up at Devin, her shining eyes glare at me and her hand is raised to strike again. "Now you listen here! No one is to blame, especially you. In this bit of time you've given hope to all of us, and it weren't false hope. Now sit down and heed my words!"

I jump back into my chair and hide my hands between my knees.

"Look here."

I timidly look over at the now, domineering woman. I see how very capable she is at raising children.

"No one is going to blame you for how this ends unless you give up! You're not giving up on her already are you? She's still breathing, ain't she?"

"No, I mean yes. Both?" God, please don't hit me again.

"Good! Now I want you to go get a good night's sleep and tomorrow, just do what you have been doing. You should try your best. If you give you're all, in the end, pray that you get what you've been looking for. You have to fight for what you want."

Do what I have been, then do what I should, then do what I want. How did I forget so quickly?

"Thank you Ms. Devin."

She cups my face and smiles so warmly. Even with her lip quivering, I see such strength within her. "You can thank me by making sure Anya… will be alright after all of this."

"I promise. Over my empty shell, I promise you."

"Good then." Still holding my face she adds. "You know she's in love with you."

"I know."

She lets me go and starts to clean up the shavings. She waves me off when I try to help. I head for the door when the old lady chirps. "I didn't mean Anya."

I was hoping she didn't.

…

A/N: Oh! Little old Nannie McGaff! I love her! Smack some sense into Donnie! Any comments are appreciated!