Chapter 27

As my feverish documentary-editing session one evening began to draw to a close and my excited state began to relax, I realized how hot it was in the condo, and I pulled myself back from my editing for a moment to sigh and fan myself. I was in a T-shirt and shorts, but the Los Angeles spring weather was getting to me. I refused to get up to turn on the air conditioner, too intent on the work in front of me. I finished putting together a few clips of the boys in the studio, and then I closed the program and finally drew back from the laptop.

My mind was racing, and the calm stillness around me seemed strange and distant. I plucked at my shirt collar, trying to cool myself off, and I stood from my chair and brought my camera to its case. I was very pleased with the work I had done that day, and the intensity of my happiness refused to fade as my breath slowed and my mind calmed.

I went to the back door and pulled on my red high-tops, lacing them up tightly to go out on the porch. It was cooler outside in the evening air than it was in my condo, and I needed to cool off after my excited working session. I opened the back door and stepped out onto the porch, closing it behind me and then walking forward. I stopped when I saw the sky. The setting sun filled the space above with a rich orange glow, and I stared in awe at its warm brilliance, looking to the spot where the sun's rays pierced the color with a vibrant yellow. I followed the color upward back into the warm orange, and then kept going into the lighter, gentle orange that faded into a darkening blue that would soon dominate the sky.

I stared at the brilliant scene, and then slowly walked forward, going down the steps and emerging from under the porch roof to see the sky in its entirety. I turned and surveyed the whole sky, lost in the colors that faded and moved into one another around me. The skyline was black against the vibrant orange, the tops of the trees reaching up toward its splendor.

"Wow…" I breathed, and then I laughed at the sound of my own wonder, the sound filling the evening and encouraging the sunset's beauty.

I stood still for a moment, and then I whirled around and bounded back up the porch steps, throwing open the door and snatching my camera from its case. I raced back out into the evening, laughing with exhilaration as I dashed toward the sun in the far-off distance, leaving the condos retreating behind me.

My heart raced and my head whirled with building excitement as I ran along the road, my camera bouncing against me and my red high-tops a blur against the darkening gray street.

An owl hooted right outside my window, startling me from my slumber. I opened my eyes and stared into the darkness, then closed them and snuggled deeper down into the covers on the bed, exhausted from my earlier adventure. The air conditioner kicked on after a minute, blowing gently and soothingly over me, and I drifted back to sleep, comforted by the gentle whirring and the warmth of the bed.

I soon found myself standing in an empty dark space, and I whirled around, looking for someone or something in the darkness, trying to see through the blackness.

"Hello, Tamzin," Mr. Masters said as he walked up beside me and smiled merrily at me.

"Mr. Masters! I haven't seen you in a while!" I said, smiling brightly at the sight of him, and he smiled and nodded.

"You've been busy with your Il Volo boys, haven't you? I hope you've had fun with them! Are you ready to make your decision?"

"What decision, Mr. Masters?"

"Your career, of course. Your next assignment. Come with me."

He took my arm and led me forward despite my sudden panicky resistance.

"My career!? I don't have to choose yet! I'm not ready!"

"Well, it's time now, Tamzin. It's August."

"No! August isn't for a long time! I'm not ready!"

"No matter now. Here we go. Have your pick; you can go with either one."

He was gone then, and in the distance to my right I saw a beautiful stage, where Il Volo stood with Michele, Barbara, and the producers. Behind them stood the band holding their instruments, merrily improvising music as the boys smiled and played along, snapping their fingers and singing along with the music. The stage was brightly and warmly lit, with long gorgeous velvet curtains cascading to the floor behind Ignazio, who had now noticed me in the distance. He turned to me and smiled brightly, lifting his hand to wave.

I heard something and turned. To my left I saw a breathtaking scene stretching out before me, calling me forward. A huge stretch of vibrant green swaying grass led past a rippling blue lake to a line of tall, thickly leafed tress, and behind them rose majestic stony gray mountains, with light dancing across their surfaces. A blue sky stretched overhead, spread above everything, and white fluffy clouds hung low in the sky, pierced by the tips of the towering mountains. Birds strutted across the grass and flew in front of the mountains, calling to each other as a gentle wind rustled their feathers and then sweetly tousled my hair. I stepped forward and closed my eyes, taking in the smell of the grass, the water, the promising scent of coming rain.

I opened my eyes and smiled hugely, taking in the scene.

I instinctively lifted my hand from my side to point at the landscape.

"I choose-"

I froze midsentence, reaching out to the mountains.

"Yes?" asked Mr. Masters, who was now back beside me.

I stood completely still, my hand pausing in the air, staring into the mountains in the distance, into the kingdom before me.

"No. Wait."

I slowly turned around and faced the stage again. Ignazio was standing at the edge of the stage, watching me with a longing, confused expression on his face. When he saw me turn back to him, he smiled brilliantly, and I started to walk forward toward him, smiling as he reached out to me.

"Oh, be careful, Tamzin!" Mr. Masters warned suddenly, "Some of your options won't be available forever!"

"What?"

Mr. Masters pointed behind me, and I turned and then screamed when I saw the mountains collapsing into a pile of rubble, the rumbling so loud I had to cover my ears. The ground began to shake and the sky became black in an instant, the murky color infiltrating the clear lake and scaring away the birds. I screamed again as the boulders rolled and bounced into the lake, sending a wave of water through the air to knock me over. I struggled to escape the darkness and I searched frantically for the stage, finding nothing but a cold, choking blackness.

I sat up in bed panting hard and shaking. I was still wet, but it was sweat instead of the horrible dark lake water. My gasping breath was loud in the dark, and I pressed my fists to my eyes as tears started to spill down my cheeks.

"Oh, be careful, Tamzin! Some of your options won't be available forever!"

I shoved back the covers and leaped from the bed, stumbling through the darkness out of the room and down the hall to the living room, fleeing the bedroom. I slammed my hand over the light switch and then covered my eyes with my hands, blinded by the light.

I was still shaking, and I stood gasping in the bright room for a few minutes as I tried to convince myself it was only a dream.

I pressed my fists over my eyes, shaking my head and sighing.

I moved slowly to the couch, feeling as if I was still in a daze as I got a blanket from the hall closet and unfolded it. I looked around the quiet condo, looking over my laptop, Il Volo posters, my Il Volo T-shirt draped over a chair, and my camera in its case, containing pictures of the beautiful sunset I had seen only hours earlier.

I breathed slowly in and out, trying and failing not to think of the inevitable moment in August when I could either accept a contract for another year with Il Volo or deny it in pursuit of my long-anticipated position with National Geographic.

Exhausted, I sunk down onto the couch, my head on the arm as I pulled the blanket tightly around myself, seeking release from my torturous imaginings and receiving none.

Determined to stay in the light, I closed my eyes and saw the brightness behind my lids. I tried to fight the image of the mountains crumbling into darkness as I eventually fell into a restless doze.

"Tamzin! Tamzin!?" Ignazio called.

I thought I was dreaming the call at first, but the loud knock on the door jolted me awake. I looked around me, confused, and heard the faint sound of my alarm going off down the hall.

I squinted against the light and rubbed my eyes. There was another knock at the door, and I jumped and then glared grouchily at it.

"Tamzin?"

"What, Ignazio!? What do you want this early in the morning!?"

There was no response, and I rolled my eyes and pushed back the blanket, getting up and stumbling to the door, which I thrust open and then put my hands on my hips and waited for him to say something.

"I brought you coffee."

He smiled brightly at me and leaned forward to kiss my cheek, making me drop my arms and look up at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Ignazio. I just…had a rough night."

"Oh, really? I'm sorry to hear that."

He handed me my coffee and then pulled me gently into his arms, kissing the top of my head as he hugged me.

"What happened?"

I looked up at him, into his sweet brown eyes waiting for my answer.

"Bad dream."

I stepped back into the condo and let him follow me inside and to the table, where I pushed my laptop out the way and sat down.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I want to pretend it never happened."

"Talking about it might make you feel better."

"Trust me. It won't. Thanks for the coffee."

"Sure, Tamzin. You know your alarm is still going off, right?"

"Oh! Yeah, of course!"

I got up clumsily from the table and hurried down the hallway to turn it off. I returned moments later, having changed out of my pajamas and yawning and rubbing my eyes.

"Did you sleep on the couch?" Ignazio asked, seeing the blanket, and I nodded as I slid into the chair across from him.

"I just wanted to get out of the bedroom and into the light."

"Must have been a really bad dream."

I wearily sipped my coffee and leaned my head on my fist.

"Mmm-hmm…did I thank you for the coffee yet?"

He gave me a funny look.

"Yes, Tamzin, you did. Maybe you should stay here and take a nap."

I quickly shook my head.

"No, thank you! I want to get out of here, ASAP! I want to keep working on my documentary and not think about dreams."

He nodded, looking unsure, and I checked my watch and then got up to get my things together, seeing that we'd have to leave in only a few minutes. As I moved about the condo and Ignazio watched, my mind was clouded with fearful uncertainty, and I felt somber in the shadow of the impending decision I'd have to make. I tried desperately to tell myself that August was far away and return to the security of my current assignment, trying not to worry about the end of it.

"Tamzin, are you sure you're okay?"

Apparently my frowning expression gave away my worried thinking.

"Yes! I'm okay, Ignazio! Can we just go?"

He nodded, watching me intently, and I slung my camera over my shoulder and led the way out the door, stifling a yawn.

Ignazio drove one of the rental cars and I sat in the passenger seat beside him, with Piero and Gianluca in the backseat singing some Spanish pop song I had never heard. I sat staring somberly out the window, sitting on one of my red high-topped feet with my camera on my lap, turned away from Ignazio. I realized after a few minutes how strange it was that Ignazio wasn't joining in with Piero and Gianluca, and when I turned to him I saw it was because he was dividing his attention between me and the road.

He looked back at me and then smiled softly, but I didn't respond. I turned my face away and leaned back in the seat, gazing out the window at the passing Los Angeles buildings.

"Hey, Ignazio," Piero said, "Did you tell Tamzin about…?"

"Oh!" he said, "Right! No, not yet!"

I sat up and turned back to him, leaning forward to look at the boys in the backseat, who were smiling knowingly at me.

"Tell me what?"

"Gatica and Renis have a surprise for you when we get to the studio," Piero said.

"The producers have a surprise for me?"

"Yes! Michele too. You're going to love it!" Gianluca said.

"I can't wait to see your face!" Ignazio said eagerly, reaching over and playfully pinching my cheek.

"Well, what is it?"

"You'll just have to wait a few more minutes," he said in a teasing singsong voice.

"Ignazio!" I protested, reaching out and grabbing his arm, "I like to know what's going on!"

"Well, for one, we're going to crash if you don't let go of me while I'm trying to drive."

I rolled my eyes but let go, and then turned expectantly to the boys in the back, who smiled and leaned back in their seats, putting their hands dramatically behind their heads and looking everywhere but at me.

"Boys!"

The three of them laughed.

"Just wait, Tamzin," Ignazio said, and I folded my arms and playfully narrowed my eyes, which he returned with a bright smile as he turned onto the street where the studio was.

After we parked, I led the way briskly inside, with my camera draped over my shoulder.

"Tamzin, wait!" Ignazio called, as the three boys came hurriedly after me. I burst into the room, and Gatica, Renis, and Michele turned toward me from the switchboard.

"Good morning, Tamzin," Gatica said, and I strode up to him and held out my hand.

"Surprise, please."

They laughed, and I didn't move when Ignazio came up beside me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Sit," Michele commanded me, pointing to the sofa, and I retreated backwards and sat, setting my camera down beside me. Ignazio sat on the other side of me, watching me intently as Piero and Gianluca sat across the room beside the producers.

"Well?" I asked, and Michele shook his head and smiled.

Then he stood from the switchboard, holding something behind his back as he slowly approached.

"As you know, we are not finished recording the CD yet, but…we have begun to put together what it will look like when it is finished, parts of the package the buyers will receive…"

"Michele, you're teasing me!" I protested, and he laughed.

"Yes, I am. Here."

He held something out to me, and I reached out and took it as everyone watched. All my lingering somberness immediately evaporated, and I gasped.

"Oh, Michele!" I cried, leaping up from the sofa and clutching the beautiful object, the product of hours of work done in joyful exhilaration.

It was the booklet that went inside the CD case, that had the cover of the album, lyrics, and of course, more photos. The cover was my favorite photo of the boys standing together on the stage, the rich orange glow and the velvety curtains behind them making for a magnificently elegant album cover.

"It's brilliant!" I exclaimed, looking up eagerly at the producers, and then I looked back down at it and laughed as I flipped it open and thumbed through the pages, awestruck at my own varied photos of the boys in the theatre and in the studio. I had helped to make this perfect little book that would soon be in their new CD case, and pride swelled within me.

"I love it! It's perfect! Oh, just imagine it inside a CD case, on a shelf in some store, advertising itself to the world. It's brilliant! Gosh, just look at this album cover!"

I laughed again in exhilaration, and they laughed with me.

I bounded forward and surprised Michele by pouncing on him and hugging him tightly. He laughed and hugged me back, and then I hugged Gatica and Renis, and then when Ignazio reached out eagerly to me I pounced on him, and he caught me and hoisted me into the air above him, making me laugh again.

"Michele showed us last night," he told me as he hugged me, and then he released me and I hugged the little booklet to my chest, my breathing and my heartbeat fast and excited. "I brought it to your condo to show you, but you were out probably racing along the beach or something, so we decided to show you today!"

"Oh, I love it!" I said, breathless, and then I flipped to the back of the book and laughed when I saw my name in teeny print at the bottom of the page. Determination to keep producing beautiful things like that swelled within me, and I looked up to find everyone smiling at me. I flipped the booklet shut and slid it swiftly into my pocket, reaching back and grabbing my camera from the couch.

"Well, what are we waiting for!? We've got a CD to record and a documentary to film! Let's go, people!"

Everyone laughed, and Gatica said, "You heard her, guys! Let's get to it! Ignazio, you're up first!"

I grabbed his hand tightly in mine and turned to dash into the recording booth. He laughed and ran with me, shutting the door behind him and obediently sliding on the headphones I handed him. I jumped into my filming corner and sat in my chair, holding up my camera and starting the recording as my heart raced with unbounded joy at being a part of Il Volo's team.