Chapter 29
The time we spent in Los Angeles for the remainder of the summer reminded me of the days I first came to be Il Volo's photographer, though I was now infinitely happier. The boys were their usual active selves, going biking and swimming and hiking throughout the city, and I accompanied them on many of their trips. We had lots of fun together, romping through the city and over the beaches on our wild adventures, teasing each other and laughing, with the boys horseplaying and singing pop songs for my entertainment.
As the boys spent most of their days enjoying their time together, I spent most of mine working. I interviewed Michele, Barbara, and the producers for my documentary, and I helped Michele sort out the details of the promotional tour, explaining to him all the events I had secured and telling him my opinions on how I thought our traveling would best be handled.
We were first going to do interviews around California and drive to the different locations during the day, returning to our condos at night. But when those were finished, we were headed to Chicago, New York City, Detroit, Boston, and a collection of other various major cities.
We were planning to depart from Los Angeles on August 10th, after we had completed the various California-based talk-shows and news programs.
Many times during the evenings Ignazio would collect me from Michele's condo or the recording studio with the producers and take me out with him, to dinner or a movie or some other romantic gesture he had planned out.
On my birthday in early July, Ignazio arranged for our whole group to have dinner at the same restaurant I had first dined in with the boys, the beautiful restaurant with tall ceilings and red tablecloths, and lovely flickering candles and violin music that made me catch my breath when I walked in.
"Oh, I remember this!" I exclaimed when I entered the restaurant beside Ignazio, the rest of the group trailing behind us.
"We sat over there, and I mostly just watched you guys talk, except at the end when you said you were extraordinary boys, and I said…"
"So it may seem!" Ignazio chimed in with me, and we both laughed. "Have we convinced you yet, my dear?" he asked, offering me his arm, and I took it and leaned toward him to kiss his cheek.
"Absolutely, Ignazio."
My summer days with the boys were a whirl of happiness and constant excitement. My laughter was incessant, and the work I now loved was never far from my mind. Calendars, schedules and my own notes about the promotional tour littered my table, the couch, and the walls of my condo.
Occasionally I would take my camera and go out on an exhilarating landscape excursion, but most of my work and my time were dedicated to Il Volo.
Ignazio often came over just to be in the same room as me, and he would cook or write music or text his sister in Italy as he watched me work. He didn't mind my constant excited laugher, and I often found him smiling softly as he watched me from the couch or the kitchen.
The only thing that ever dared to intrude into my happy thoughts was the idea that my time with the boys was running out. I hated to think of it, and so I tried to avoid doing so, but I knew my year with Il Volo was coming to a close.
I was sure that Michele would offer me another contract, but I was still uneasy and fretful. I loved working with Il Volo, but I also loved my landscapes, and the idea, my dream, of being a photographer for National Geographic was still a thrill to me.
The end of my year and my contract were nearby, and I was fearful of the year to come.
It wasn't the idea of working another year for Il Volo that scared me, but the idea that the opportunity of working for National Geographic was slipping away.
I thought back to the time I had sat in Mr. Master's office before I had signed the Il Volo contract.
"This contract's for exactly a year," Mr. Masters had said. "If National Geographic does come back next year, you'll be back in time for another shot at their company."
I sat cross-legged on top of the kitchen table one evening, staring blankly ahead of me at the promotional tour calendar on the wall, looking over Michele's black ink and my red ink throughout the page, marking the days we would be doing interviews in various locations.
I sighed and stared blankly at the calendar, pulling my knees to my chest and hugging them.
At least…if this is the end of my year with them…I was able to assist in some of next year's activities.
I turned my head and looked beside me on the table, at the summer issues of National Geographic my mother had collected and sent to me. Beside them was the prototype for the CD, with my cover on it, the three boys smiling at me from the stage.
I smiled at Ignazio in the photo, but then looked away and back at the calendar, resting my chin on my knees.
I lifted my head when I heard a slight knock on the door, so light that I wasn't sure if I had really heard it at first. I turned as the door opened and Ignazio stepped wordlessly into the condo. He shut the door quietly behind him and leaned against it, looking at me without smiling. I gazed back at him from the table, and then I moved and quietly dropped to the floor, straightening and watching him from across the room.
"I'm going for a walk," he said, his voice gentle and reflective, "Will you come with me?"
"Yes, please," I said back, my voice just as soft, and then he watched as I took my red high-tops from under the table and pulled them on.
Then I went to him and he took my hand tightly in his, and we left the condo, going wordlessly down the front steps and into the fading evening light, the last light of day.
We walked along together in silence, hand in hand, as we left the condos in the distance and walked until we reached the beginning of the beach sand, the waves crashing against the shore far in the distance on the empty, darkening beach. It was where I had taken him after the end of their tour, with the long expanse of sand leading to the rolling California hills, with the fence in front of us and the trees behind us that we had climbed to see beyond it, and the rocks on the beach that caught the water and held it in the dip in the sand.
"I love this view," he said, and I nodded and then looked up at him. "I've come back a few times since you showed me. Tamzin, you've got a great eye for picturesque landscapes."
"Thanks."
"I know you'd be great as a photographer for National Geographic."
I looked up at him again, and he leaned toward me and lightly kissed my temple, squeezing my hand in his.
"What do you think I should do?" I asked, surprised that he seemed so laid-back about the idea of me leaving. "Honestly, Ignazio…do you think it would be better if I went to work for…" Then I realized the solemnity of his expression, and I fell quiet.
He turned toward me and pulled me close, holding me tightly to him as he kissed me tenderly for a long moment. Then he pulled back and leaned his forehead against mine.
"I love you, Tamzin."
"I love you, too."
"You're the best photographer we've ever had, though now that you're organizing our tour I suppose you're somewhat management too. I've absolutely loved spending this amazing year with you, and I want so badly to spend another one with you. I want you to stay with us, and I…hate…the idea of you leaving."
I kissed him, and he held me tightly and didn't let go for a long while. Then finally he released me and took my hand, and we looked at the landscape in front of us, the sky filled with brilliant shades of pink and orange with the fading light.
"But…" he said, gazing into the distance as I looked up at him, mirroring his solemn expression. "You have to choose your future, and you have to pick it for you, not me. You have to decide what will be best, and I will have to accept whatever it is. If you leave, I'll miss you so much…but…I'll know it is what's best for you."
He looked down at me, and for the first time since knowing him, his eyes shimmered with something other than his sweet playfulness or his gentle concern.
A single tear rolled down his cheek, and I reached up and took his face in my hand.
"Ignazio…" I whispered, incredulous as I gazed at him. I felt like crying too, all of a sudden, especially when he pulled me into his arms and held me close again.
"Michele says it'll be tomorrow," he whispered in my ear, and I buried my face in his T-shirt. "Than you'll have a few days to think about it before we leave for the tour."
His grip loosened, and I looked up at him.
"Though I suspect you know already what you're doing."
I looked out at the beach stretched out in front of us and nodded, and as I did he kissed the top of my head and released me. I took his hand and turned away from the landscape, and we started to walk slowly along the sand away from it.
"I think I know what I'm going to pick," I said, and stared ahead of me as he walked along beside me and watched me intently. "But I'm terrified. I just want to make the choice and get it over with, because I've been living in the shadow of this decision. I know what I've decided to pick, but as long as I'm on this side of it…it's too easy for me to change my mind and pick the other option. It's terrifying, because I know that I'm giving up something great, and I wish I could know what would have become of it."
He nodded and squeezed my hand, and I looked up at him and smiled slightly.
"You don't have to tell me what you've chosen, or what you're going to choose. I know you're still fighting with yourself."
I nodded.
"I'm scared, Ignazio. I wish I could tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, what I want. I've been telling myself over and over for months, "August isn't for a long while. I don't have to think about it yet…" But it came so quickly…Now I'm trying to keep focusing on what I'm going to choose and not on what I'm leaving behind."
I sighed, and he let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist instead, and I was glad to do the same, moving closer to him, feeling him against me.
"Tomorrow…I'll be able to see the next year for certain, in front of me, and not have to struggle with the idea that I have the power to affect my future, because I'll already have picked my path."
I looked up at him, and then behind us at the landscape moving further and further behind, the colors in the sky fading into a dark, inky black, with no stars out tonight.
"Let's go back to the condos," he said softly, and I nodded, still focused on the blackening, moonless and starless sky.
We walked back to the condos in silence, and when Ignazio stopped on my porch to tell me goodnight, I took his arm and opened the door, pleading with him to come inside with me.
He wordlessly agreed, and we entered the condo, where I closed the door behind us, shutting out the blackening night. Ignazio went to the couch and sat, and I moved immediately to him as he reached out for me.
He took me onto his lap, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as I kissed him, leaning closer into him as his arms went around me, his hands open and pressed against my back, holding me to him. I reached up and ran my hands through his silky dark hair as his arms around me tightened.
"I love you, Tamzin," he said between kisses, and I wrapped my arms around his neck again and leaned my forehead against his.
"I love you, too, Ignazio."
He pulled me against him and cuddled me to him, with my head against him shoulder. I pressed my hand against his T-shirt, feeling his warmth through the fabric as he kissed my neck and then leaned his head against mine, holding me and gently rubbing my back. I closed my eyes, feeling his chest rise and fall as he breathed.
"Tamzin?" he asked after a few quiet minutes, and I opened my eyes and reached up to turn his face toward me. We gazed at each other for a while, then he kissed me one more time, tenderly and lingeringly before lifting me and setting me down gently on the couch beside him.
He stood up, and then bent down beside me to kiss my cheek, and I took his arm and turned my head to kiss his lips.
"Goodnight," he whispered, and I nodded.
"Goodnight, Ignazio."
"Lock the door behind me, okay?"
I nodded, and he turned and went to the door. I sat up and watched as he turned around and looked back at me for a moment before closing the door.
I sat still, looking at the place beside me where he had been sitting only a minute earlier. Then I rose from the couch and walked across the room to the door, where I locked it and then took my phone from my pocket, leaning against it as I dialed.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Masters? Hi, it's Tamzin."
"Oh, is that Tamzin Montgomery, star student of Harrison and photographer of the singing sensation Il Volo!?"
"The one and only," I said, smiling at the unmistakable merriment in his voice.
"Well, great to hear from you, Tamzin, but don't you think it's a bit late to be calling the Academy? You're lucky you caught me. I was just about to lock up."
"I'm sorry. I'm just returning the message you left on my phone. I just…hadn't gotten around to it yet today…"
I chewed my nails anxiously as I waited for him to respond.
"Alright, well, Tamzin, I have some important news for you!"
"Okay…" I responded softly, barely above a whisper.
"Just like I suspected they would, National Geographic contacted me about getting a new photographer-a landscape photographer-and they were very interested in you! They are aware that your current contract expires soon, and they seemed very interested in making you an offer…That is, if you aren't accepting another contract from Il Volo."
"Oh. That's…that's great! They were really interested in me?"
"Absolutely! Now, I'm sure you've been thinking of what you're going to be doing for the next year, and if you decide you'd like to quit your portraits, I know you'll have yourself a fantastic offer by the end of August! Just let me know what you decide so I can let N.G. know, okay Tamzin?"
"Yes, sir. Thank you, Mr. Masters."
He hung up, and I listened to the dead airwaves for a moment before hanging up and dropping my hand to my side, staring blankly at the National Geographic magazines on the kitchen table.
They were interested in me. Finally, after years and years of dreaming and hoping and waiting, National Geographic was interested in me and was going to make me an offer. My dream…Was I prepared to take it?
I sunk down against the door, until I was sitting on the floor with the phone still in my hand. I turned my head to the camera case by the T.V. containing dozens of flash drives stocked with my landscapes. Finally, I had the opportunity to have some published and shared with the world.
At last…
I let the phone fall from my hand and clatter to the ground as I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my head in them.
In the morning I slept late, having stayed up late pacing and worrying about missed opportunities and the future. When I finally did get up, I had a text from Michele asking me to meet him at his condo to have a meeting with him sometime during the day.
I got dressed and pulled on my red high-tops, taking a deep breath before leaving the condo.
I found Ignazio leaving Michele's condo, and when he saw me he came to me and pulled me into his arms without his usual bright smile. I wrapped my arms around him and let him hold me tightly, my face buried in his T-shirt.
"I love you, Tamzin. Do what's best," he whispered to me, and I nodded. Then he released me and took my head in his hands to kiss me softly. He let go of me and walked backwards for a few steps, watching me somberly before finally turning around.
I turned and walked up the steps to Michele's condo, pulling open the unlocked door to find him and Barbara sitting on the couch discussing the promotional tour.
"Ah, Tamzin!" Michele said, smiling, "You've decided to use the door this time!"
Barbara gave him a confused look, and I rolled my eyes but then offered a small smile.
"Sit," he told me, pointing to the table, and I sat as he got up and rummaged through the papers on the coffee table for a manila folder with my name on it. Barbara sat across from me and offered me her usual sweet smile, and soon Michele joined us at the table.
"So, Tamzin," he said, sitting across from me and folding his hands on the table. "I called you here to discuss the coming expiration of your contract…"
"Yeah, I know," I said, "New contract. Let's get this over with."
He smiled and raised his eyebrows.
"Okay. Well, Tamzin, let me begin by saying that this has been a great year. We've all loved having you with us, all of us! Barbara and I, the producers, the band, and especially the boys. You've been a delight to have around, and you've done wonders for Il Volo. You've truly amazed us all with your abilities, and we'd be delighted to have you with us for another year, if you so choose to stay."
Barbara nodded encouragingly at me and said, "We know from the Academy of your dream to work for National Geographic, and if that is what you choose to do, we support you fully, though we'll miss you! I suspect your decision has been very hard for you to make, and I suppose now it's time to find out what it is."
I nodded, and Michele slid the folder across the table to me. I reached out and pulled it toward me, opening it and observing the contract before me.
I had imagined this scene over and over in the past few months, the time when I would have to ultimately make my choice to stay or leave. The idea of being handed the contract terrified me in the same way it had a year ago, knowing it would seal my fate, whether good or bad.
"It's exactly the same as last year's," Michele said, and I nodded and flipped through it to the last page. "Now, I know you may want a few days to take it and perhaps go over your options again for the coming year-"
With that, I pulled a pen from my pocket and put it down to the paper, scrawling my name onto the necessary blanks.
"Michele," I said, sliding the pen back into my pocket as they stared at me, dumbfounded. "I have big plans for Il Volo, and I've never quit a project yet."
They stared at me for a moment, and I smiled and shut the folder, sliding it back across the table.
Then Barbara jumped up and ran to me to hug me.
"Oh, I'm so glad, Tamzin! I was hoping you'd want to stay with us!"
I laughed and hugged her back, and then hugged Michele when she stepped aside.
"Well, you better go and tell Ignazio," he said, pinching my cheek playfully, "That boy's been worrying about this for months!"
"Yeah, me too!" I said, waving as I whirled around to race out of the condo.
"Tamzin, you forgot your copy of the contract!" Michele called as I dashed away, but I kept running toward my condo, seeing Ignazio sitting on my steps, his head resting somberly on his crossed arms.
"Ignazio!" I called, slowing down, and he glanced up and then stood, looking anxiously at me.
"Tamzin?"
He came down the steps, and I walked right up to him, smiling, and then wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I immediately felt his arms go around me as he kissed me back.
When he pulled back and took my arms, I smiled brightly up at him.
"I'm not finished here yet, Ignazio. You'll have to put up with me for a while longer."
His eyes lit up, and then he jumped into the air and whooped, and I laughed as he dramatically threw up his arms and fell backwards into the grass in relief, running his hands through his hair as he laughed.
I laughed excitedly with him and dropped to my knees beside him, leaning down to kiss him. He grabbed me and pulled me into the grass beside him, laying me down and moving to where he was holding himself above me.
"I can do that," he said softly, nodding, and then he closed his eyes and leaned down to kiss me.