Prompt: Brian Blessed - "To love oneself is to have a lifelong romance." - 'Russell Howard's Good News'
"Learning to love yourself, to love who you are, is an important step to your recovery."
The hospital's psychiatrist had said those words with such ease and yet Dave Karofsky was having a hard time with the concept. How did one learn to love themselves when society told you that who you were was wrong? When your own mother couldn't look you in the eye now that she knew who you were? When people you thought were your friends show their true colors because you aren't what they though you were?
He hated himself and who he truly was. He had been content to hide who he was to be accepted by those around him and without that, he didn't think he could face living. There was a part of him that wish he had succeeded. The only thing that gave him any hope was his dad saying how grateful he was that he didn't lose his son. His dad still seemed to love him, even if no one else did. Wasn't that something?
And then there was the idea of knowing that he had been responsible for letting others feel this way. He had done and said some of the same things to Kurt as his teammates and so called friends had done to him. He had even threatened to kill Kurt because Kurt had known his secret.
Had Kurt ever felt like taking his own life like he had?
If he had, then Dave knew he would be partially responsible for it and even the thought of that made him sick.
No, he wasn't at all sure he could learn to love himself so perhaps he should try tolerating himself first. That was a least a step in the right direction, wasn't it?