Face to Face

Part 29

Paddy had blamed tiredness for his disappearing up the stairs so early. Aaron had believed him but Jackson knew the older man was just getting out of their way, giving them some time alone together.

They'd been used to having the house to themselves, and Aaron had been openly demonstrative since their first night together, but not tonight, not in front of Paddy. Having a parental figure in the room was one way to cool your ardour!

The three of them had watched a DVD, the one Aaron had bought for Paddy so very recently. When that had finished Paddy had yawned and took himself off to bed.

"Do you think he's alright?" Aaron had asked, Jackson had reassured him then stopped him voicing anymore concerns on Paddy's health by kissing him. A long tender melding of lips. When Jackson began to deepen the kiss, Aaron pulled away, "Paddy's upstairs!"

Jackson grinned, "He can't see us from there!"

"What if he comes down?"

Jackson was certain he wouldn't but it wouldn't bother him if he did, and it shouldn't bother Aaron either. "Then he'll get an eyeful of us snogging! It's not going to come as any great surprise to him now is it?"

"No."

"And it's not like he hasn't done his fair share of it himself."

Aaron cringed, he'd seen Paddy and his mum locking lips on that very sofa countless times, not a pretty sight! Suddenly he wasn't very comfortable where he was sitting and he got to his feet. "C'mon,"

"Where?"

"Bed."

Jackson remained seated, "But Paddy's up there!" he wasn't so comfortable with that idea. Tonsil hockey on the sofa was one thing. Up close and personal in the bedroom with Paddy just yards away was going to take a bit of getting used to!

Now it was Aaron's turn to be amused, "As long as you aren't as noisy as you were last night, he won't hear a thing."

Jackson's eyes widened in alarm, "What?"

"You were snoring."

Jackson grinned, "I don't snore."

"Yes you do." Aaron assured him, "I should know."

Jackson got to his feet, "Well you talk in your sleep."

"No I don't!" Aaron protested, at least he hoped he didn't.

"Yes you do. "Jackson said thoughtfully. Aaron often called out his name, sometimes softly, sometimes passionately like he did during the throes of their lovemaking and sometimes his voice would be panic filled, as if he were lost to him. He'd pull him closer then, hold him tight. Tell him he was there and that he loved him. It was so easy to say those three words when the object of your affections was lost to the real world. Not so easy when they were looking so intently into your eyes, wondering what was suddenly weighing on your mind.

"Jackson?"

Was there a right time to say it? Was there a wrong time? He needed to know because he wanted to get it right.

It would be so easy to say it as passion soared or when the resulting ecstasy seeped into your soul. But love wasn't just about that, it was about so many things. Being in love and loving someone was different too, at least he thought it was although right now he couldn't separate the two.

Maybe he just thought too hard about things? Maybe he was dithering about it because he wasn't sure! The little voice inside his head kept reminding him that it had only been a month! Longer though if you counted the weeks of uncertainty when he'd first reached out to Aaron, and had been knocked back time and time again. But as rocky and as uncertain as that time had been there had been a connection between them. That's when he'd first started to care about Aaron Livesy.

He was sure. His heart and his head in total agreement this time. He loved Aaron, and Aaron needed to know that.

"Jackson? What..."

Lifting his hand to gently caress Aaron's cheek Jackson said softly, "Remember I said it would be easy to love you, if you let me?"

Aaron nodded, his heart thundering up into his throat making speech impossible.

"Well you did and I do...love you I mean." He could have put it better, waited for a more appropriate time, but that wouldn't have made it anymore true.

So there it was out in the open, electrifying the air between them.

He hadn't believed Jackson that night; he hadn't believed anyone could love him, not in that way. Not some messed up hot tempered Chav! He didn't like himself so why should anyone else? Especially someone so level headed and decent.

He'd told Paddy he didn't want to fall in love. That at eighteen all he wanted was to have some fun. He'd stupidly believed that would be enough. He hadn't wanted to share another man's bed; he was terrified of such intimacy and was determined to avoid it at all costs. But then he'd fallen asleep in Jackson's arms and woken up wanting him in every possible way.

After, he'd cried like a baby, Jackson had understood why and had kissed away every last tear. That's when he knew he could love another man and be loved back. But actually saying those words, well that wasn't easy for him. Jackson knew that, he'd picked up on it, telling him that with love came strength. And he was so much stronger now. The world didn't scare him anymore and he was ready to tell Jackson, and the world for that matter, that he loved him too.

TBC