Comfort
X X X
Mikasa and Armin
There were times where she'd see it appear. The little gloom in blue irises that normally shined so brightly with joy. She wouldn't say anything because it often disappeared as soon as it would rear its ugly ahead. The owner of those eyes looking at her with devotion and adoration, a bright smile and kind word. It took everything for her not to wrap her arms around them and squeeze tightly against her chest. Even though she was often absorbed in her job to protect Eren from himself, she couldn't forget about Armin. The blonde was the intellect in the group, he kept them together by being the most logical when she and Eren lost their heads. There were many times when she owed her life to Armin, and she would never be able to repay him for all of the things that he had done.
He wasn't fast. He wasn't strong. Not like them. But he had a heart that couldn't and wouldn't waver when his friends were in trouble. Armin would never run away or turn from them. It didn't matter that he wasn't strong, he wanted to be by their side. It could have brought tears to her eyes. But they were soldiers, they were comrades, it was expected. But no one knew Armin like she and Eren did, no one knew any of them like they knew each other. They were the survivors from a tragedy that robbed them of their loved ones, lives, and innocence. Nothing would ever be the same but until her last breath, she'd protect Armin and Eren with every ounce of strength in her body.
That is why when she saw that gloom, something spurred inside that caused her to wrap her arms around the blonde. She dragged him in close to her chest, nestled her face in his hair and took in a deep breath. Armin was slightly startled having dropped the book that he was reading. The book that his grandfather had given him about the outside world. His arms enclosed around Mikasa's torso, she was taller than him for the most part and it seemed to be the better place to put his hands.
"Armin, are you okay?"
Armin chuckled lightly. She must have been worrying again.
"I'm fine, Mikasa."
Her arms tightened around him and the laughter turned into a nervous one before silencing completely. Armin's lips tightened into a thin line and he stared forward trying to will himself not to cry. One of her hands slowly raised and nestled into his hair, pressing his face into her shoulder and he could feel the redness in his face begin to bloom.
"Armin, are you okay?"
The question racked at his heart and the tears began to well up. He could remember his grandfather. He could remember his home, playing with Mikasa and Eren, talking about things they didn't understand but felt happy to know. The days that they could laugh together and not worry about death poking about their shoulders.
"Armin, are you okay..?"
He gritted his teeth trying to swallow the tears. But they wouldn't go down, trapped in his throat.
"Armin, are you okay..."
With a voice filled with tears, he tried to convince her that he was alright. But he knew that nothing would get through. Mikasa was far too smart for that, and at this point - the roles had switched.
"You asked me that four times now.."
The next words that came from her lips sent him spiraling down and the tears began to fall as he held onto her sobbing into her shoulder. Mikasa gently patted his head and held him close unwilling to let the blonde go.
"Just making sure."
X X X
Jean and Eren
"Damn it!"
He slammed his fists furiously against the wall uncaring of the bruising that would have occurred. It didn't matter. He was a monster anyhow. It would heal and he'd be back to normal. Even if he was to cut off a limb or try to kill himself, he'd survive. But they didn't survive. None of them. He could still remember their faces. Eyes full of trust, brilliantly gleaming like a light that was snuffed out too soon. Tears racked his body and he gritted his teeth while punching against the wall. Every punch seemed to bring him further from the pain but nothing could erase the guilt and the shame. He riled them up. He brought them into war. So why couldn't he save them? It was his job to eradicate the Titans. He swore to eradicate the Titans.
Because of them, he was a monster.
Because of them, he and Mikasa could never go home.
Because of them, Armin would never see his grandfather again.
Because of them..
Because of them..
"Oi, Jaeger."
Eren relented with his next punch and slowly turned.
"You got blood smeared on the wall, make sure you clean it up before anyone sees."
His hand fell limply to his side. Jean Kirschtein, that stupid horse face dared to say something to him. After the things that he did. Eren began to shake and his fingers curled into fists. He raised one to punch again only to have it grabbed before it could make contact with the wall.
"Oi! What do you think you're doing fucking horse face! Let me go!"
Jean's fingers tightened around Eren's wrist.
"Marco."
Eren's heart sunk into the pits of his stomach and he could feel his limbs turning into jelly. That was one thing that he did not want to think about. Marco Boldt. They weren't very close, but he remembered him clearly. Bright-eyed, high hopes and dreams. He was one of Jean's friends. Is that what Jean was here for? To beat him into the wall? For not being able to live up to what he so clearly wanted to do? It didn't matter. He deserved it. He failed. Marco was dead, and so were most of the others. It was all his fault. If only he knew he had this power sooner then maybe he could have made a difference. Maybe, just maybe he could have saved them all.
A sharp tug to his arm sent him colliding into Jean, and the latter wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug unwilling to let go. Eren's arms were trapped at his sides and he was trying to figure out what to do. One part of him was yelling to kick the stupid horse face off while the other was relieved. Did this mean that he didn't do anything wrong? Did this mean that it was all okay? Was it a rouse? was he trying to lower his guard?
"Oi, get the hell off me horse face! What do you think this is?!"
He began to thrash about, trying to jab at Jean's side but the other did not retort nor did he move. He simply held onto Eren and stroked his hair, he didn't do anything except hold him and pet his head. Tears began to brew in Eren's eyes and his thrashing came to a slow and gradual halt. Jean eased up on the hug allowing Eren's arms to move as they wrapped around him clinging on for dear life. There were some things that he couldn't show Armin and Mikasa. Some things that he chose to keep to himself. He was scared.
He didn't want to lose them.
Not Armin. Not Mikasa.
He couldn't lose his sister and his brother, his best friends. His family.
He couldn't lose any of them, if he did. If they all disappeared, he would be nothing.
"I-I.."
Jean patted his head.
"There, there. Shut up Jaeger."
Eren's eyebrow twitched before furrowing.
"Shut up, don't pet me fucking horse face."
Jean rolled his eyes but spared a small smile.
"Geeze, calm down. Its okay, Jaeger, you can cry sometimes.."
X X X
Mike
The cool night air whistled in his ear and ran against the back of his neck sending chills down his spine. Though the warmth of his rubbing hands and the presence next to him was enough to best the cruel conditions. The incense burned with a blazing intensity against the bit of fire and the picture of Mike smiling stood proudly behind it. Levi took in a deep almost shaky breath before exhaling. Leaning back against the chair that he was sitting on, he could feel his shoulder brush against Hanji's arm. She was leaning against the chair to get a better look at the picture. Her other hand was holding onto a little oil lamp allowing them to see in the darkness of the night for the private ceremony. Everyone else was asleep for the most part, and the two had snuck to a secluded part of the castle to have this small service for Mike. There were some days where it felt rather empty.
Being so used to having someone next to you. Only for them to leave in the next second, it was strange. A knot formed in Levi's stomach and no matter how many times he tried to push it down, it was still there. Hanji's hand moved from the chair to his shoulder and her nails dug into the skin but he couldn't find himself caring all that much. Just staring at the little memorial, staring at the picture of Mike. Someone who was once flesh and blood standing in front of him. The man had a odd habit of sniffing. He was abnormally tall, and needed to shave. But he was warm and kind, he gave Levi his tea. He put up with Hanji's ranting. He was a good friend, and there could be no one that was exactly like him. Hanji glanced down at Levi before kneeling and wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her face into his hair.
The smaller man did not move to push her off nor did he try to fight against the affections. Rather, he simply placed his hand on her forearm and gave it a light squeeze. She shut her eyes and held him close. The door to their little ceremony opened and no one turned to look. A hand touched Hanji's shoulder and the other touched Levi's, arms encircling around them. Hanji peeked up and could see blonde hair, and slightly tear-filled blue eyes. A watery smile formed and for that moment, the three of them sat in silence and cried silent tears in mourning for their lost friend. After the incense had final burned out, and the picture of Mike went along with it - the three joined together in the dining hall to have tea and talk about the old days.
Levi would roll his eyes and glare at them, Hanji would snicker and poke fun while Erwin chuckled. The gloom had risen but the grief didn't simmer away. Instead it was replaced by a new entity. One that they all preferred.
Comfort.