Love and Marriage - Second attempt
Ranma awoke to someone banging on her bedroom door yelling about breakfast. It was an improvement over a bucket of water or a murder attempt, so all in all she was pretty cheerful.
"I'm up!" Ranma yelled, causing the person on the other side of the door to go away.
She was in the middle of her early morning stretch when the memories hit her.
She'd been found in a crater, covered by the bodies of two dead Ranmas, one male and one female, by Jetstream (Josie Stronghold) and The Commander (Steve Stronghold), who'd adopted her to raise alongside their son, Will.
Being the son of two of the greatest heroes in the world (and Maxville's best realtors) wasn't a bad gig really. Her mother was an expert martial artist and loved training with her daughter or son and Dad was always up for some sparring as well.
Ranma had also finally gotten an answer as to why he was always raised as a girl if he had the curse and was found as a baby. They'd assumed that with the number of times little Ranma had found cold water that she wanted to be female. By the time the water attracting portion of the curse was discovered they'd already been raising her as a girl for several years and it was easier to keep her female than male.
'At least they're accepting of my curse,' Ranma thought to herself before shifting to male form with a surge of hot Ki and using some cleaning cantrips to freshen up, before pulling a set of his favorite black and red outfit from his Ki pocket.
Bouncing down the stairs, Ranma flipped over the table and landed in his chair, much to the family's surprise.
"Nice acrobatics," Will said wistfully. He'd trained with mom off and on, but simply didn't have the drive Ranma had.
"Those clothes look exactly like what your birth parents were wearing when we found you," Steve said with a curious tone.
Ranma nodded and swallowed the mouthful of eggs he was eating, having loaded up a plate with his usual gusto and speed. "My powers kicked in."
"I thought your powers were being fireproof and changing sex," Will replied. "And I still haven't figured out if that's more creepy than cool."
Ranma held up a finger and a glowing mist slowly formed around it coalescing into a single glowing drop of blue water that he flicked onto Will's forehead.
Will froze as his body changed in ways that Ranma knew all too well.
"You'll change back automatically in 24 hours," Ranma quickly supplied, before Will could panic, as he eyed Will's bust with a bit of envy. Apparently Will was an early bloomer and took after their mom.
"Your power is the ability to change people's sex?" Steve asked.
"No, that's just a trick we learned while dealing with Jusenkyo," Ranma said. "My power is genetic memory and I come from a long line of martial artists who have picked up a trick or two."
"So you know what happened to your parents and why they had matching DNA?" Josie asked quickly, having always wondered where Ranma came from.
"Is anyone concerned that I'm female?" Will asked, still a bit shocked at his sudden transformation.
"Your brother said it would only last for a day and if you let a little thing like changing sex put you off your game you might want to avoid some of the stranger villains in Cleveland. Why I remember this one time I got turned into a llama-" Steve began.
Josie rolled her eyes before interrupting, "Weren't you and Layla going to the movies?"
Will froze wide eyed about the thought of going out in public as he recalled the number of times, sometimes with his help, Ranma had switched at awkward moments.
"Relax I didn't include the water trigger, just a timed one," Ranma said. "You always wondered what it was like, so enjoy."
Will relaxed a little. "Thanks and next time could you ask beforehand?"
Ranma grinned evilly. "I promise to not change you involuntarily any more than you've changed me."
Will groaned and trudged off for his shower and change before Layla got there.
"How often did Will splash you?" Josie asked.
"It averages out to about four times a week for the last decade," Ranma said dryly.
Steve winced. "Try not to be too hard on your brother, although I have to agree he's due some revenge."
Ranma waved it off. "He's a lot more mature now, but he did use it to ruin my chances with a girl Zack liked."
Josie winces as Steve said, "That doesn't sound like Will."
"It could have been an accident, but he knew better than to have a cold drink with no lid on around me when I was waiting for a date."
The bell rang and Josie answered the door returning a second later with Layla.
Ranma flicked a droplet onto her forehead changing her into a him and said, "Three-hundred and ninety-one."
The red haired man in a too tight green shirt and panties groaned, having put two and two together, figuring out that Ranma had developed an ability based on changing sex.
Ranma chuckled. "Let's get you into more suitable clothes. I know how painful it can be to be changed into a guy while wearing panties, if you'll recall."
"Did anyone not splash you with water?" Steve asked not having known it was that bad.
"Dad, even you have splashed me on occasion with water balloons."
Steve scratched his chin. "Yeah, but that was cause I thought it would be fun to have a water balloon fight, not because I wanted to change your sex."
"I know, I'm just pointing out that the curse makes people want to splash me. I'm not sure whether that's a magical compulsion or just the fact that it's cool to watch," Ranma said while helping Layla walk to his room.
"I can't believe you did that," Layla groaned.
"Take it like a man," Ranma teased. "I had to."
"You're not a guy," Layla said, never having felt comfortable with Ranma as a male.
"Actually, I am," Ranma corrected her as he helped her into his room. "I just happen to be a girl at times too."
"Just help get me out of these panties," Layla groaned.
"I've been waiting all year to hear you say that," he teased.
"Ok, now I believe you're a guy."
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
It only took ten minutes to set Layla to rights, well in terms of clothing anyway.
"Shouldn't Will be down by now?" Layla asked.
"I changed him into a girl and he's taking his first shower as one," Ranma explained.
"Oooohhh!" Layla said blushing.
Josie quickly changed the subject, "So how did you end up in the crater and what's with the matching DNA?"
"Well there once was a godlike being called Ranma who, with a bunch of other godlike beings, refused to ascend to a higher state of being because of the effect it would have on his world. At some point things would straighten themselves out and they'd be able to ascend without harming anyone, but in the mean time they simply had to wait. Boredom set in and one of them decided to play a joke on Ranma. Of course considering the power levels of those involved you'll understand that it was on a scale that we would find quite insane."
"How crazy can a prank get?" Steve asked, causing Ranma to snicker. "They made a hundred thousand clones of Ranma, half male and half female and programmed them to be sex maniacs."
"Wow, that is insane," Steve said numbly.
"Yep, well even if they weren't as powerful as Ranma they all had the potential to be, so he couldn't leave them to wreak havoc on the universe and he felt responsible for them so he summoned them to a solar system that was empty of sentient life but had several earth-like planets," Ranma paused and took a sip of juice.
"What did he do?" Layla asked impatiently.
"He swallowed the solar system," Ranma said bluntly. "He put it in a Ki pocket, creating a universe for them and entered it spending a century deprogramming them. The Ranmas liked their private cosmos and convinced Ranma to give them all Jusenkyo curses, like mine."
Layla interrupted, "Why would they do that?"
"Several reasons," Ranma replied. "It made equality of the sexes a reality, helped everyone understand one another , and made the daily orgies more fun. I'll leave you to guess which was their main reason."
"Daily orgies?!" the three called out in shock.
"There were one hundred thousand of them and one of him, how far do you think he got deprogramming them in a measly hundred years? All he really did was get them all to agree that no means no unless agreed that it doesn't beforehand and get them as crazy about martial arts as he is."
"And how did you get here from there?" Josie asked.
"Well as Ranma-the-refusing-to-ascend traveled through various realities he picked up the odd planet or two which keeps most of the Ranma's entertained, however, a few have gotten tired of life and want to see what comes after."
"Is life that dull in there?" Josie asked sadly.
"I don't think so, but after a few millennia some do get bored."
"Millennia?!" the three exclaimed.
"How long do they live?" Steve demanded.
"As long as they feel like. Ranmas only get more powerful with age. A child of a hundred or so could probably conquer the world without too much trouble, but fortunately, Ranmas follow the marital and martial arts codes."
"What are the codes?" Layla asked.
"In a nutshell? Protect the weak and molest the willing," Ranma replied cheerfully.
"Umm," Layla began not sure how to ask about Ranma's devotion to those two goals, considering her relationship with Ranma and insistence that she be her best girlfriend.
"Relax, Hippy," Ranma said teasingly. "I only follow the martial arts code. I didn't get programmed to be sex crazed like the first gens and didn't grow up there, thinking it was normal."
"Back to the story," Steve suggested.
"Ok, well two of the Ranmas decided they wanted their child to grow up and experience something new, since they were bored to death with their lives. So the two ripped open a portal to hyperspace and searched for a reality that would allow their child to grow and enjoy life as they no longer did. They found Earth, this one, and decided that Jetstream and the Commander looked like they would be the perfect parents to raise a Ranma, so they strolled through the void between realities and summoned Mom and Dad with a Ki beacon, before allowing themselves to pass on."
"Hell of an origin story," Steve said.
Ranma nodded. "They implanted me with their genetic memories so I would know my past and our history, not to mention popping home to visit the Ranmas if I wished."
"So no subliminal programming as a sleeper agent to take over the world," Layla asked. "What a rip. Now I owe Zack five bucks."
"You bet I was supposed to take over the world?" Ranma asked.
"It was the latest theory," Layla defended himself. "And you said you could do it in about a century."
Ranma laughed. "Actually I said a century old Ranma could take over the world without too much trouble. If one was willing to put a lot of effort into it they could accomplish it a lot earlier."
"So, what? You could take over the world by the time you hit fifty?"
Ranma snickered. "I have the memory of Ranmas a lot older than a century. I could take over the world now, but you couldn't pay me enough to do it."
"Why not?" Layla asked as though she wanted Ranma to take over the world.
"Who in their right mind wants the headache and responsibility of running the world?!" Ranma exclaimed waving his arms. "Running a world is a hassle I don't need. Hell, even running a small country involves massive amounts of paperwork. I'm allergic to responsibility as you'll recall when you tried to get me to run for class president."
"Being a Hero is a lot of responsibility," Steve pointed out.
"Which is why I'm planning on being a sidekick. Same amount of action and less responsibility," Ranma said firmly.
"But you could do so much good as a Hero honey," Josie said.
"I can make my Hero just as effective without being in the spotlight," Ranma retorted as Will appeared.
Typing by: Stephenopolos
AN: Second attempt and then I lost this one too!