I was such a fool. A blithering moron. What the hell did I actually believe? That Sesshomaru could sincerely have had feelings for me? Well, kudos to me when I fell for that one. He loved me. He loved me. Obviously he didn't.
"I knew I'd never fall in love with a human."
"I'm not really in love with her and this marriage is a ruse."
Even two days later the words still left a crushing feeling in the region of my heart.
I hadn't even heard from him since I escaped his penthouse. That was enough to let me know he didn't care. What man just lets the woman he claims to love flee from his home without an explanation? No man that ACTUALLY loved someone, clearly.
He probably wouldn't even notice when I didn't show up for work in a few minutes. Hell, maybe he didn't even notice I wasn't in the car with him. Who knows, he was probably already arranging another pathetic human woman to be his new fiancé.
The thought caused the breath to leave my lungs in a rush. I sat up on Sango's couch, fist clutching my chest, trying to exhale.
What if Sesshomaru found someone else?
Should I even care? He didn't love me, even if the words had seemingly rang true only a few precious days ago. I didn't deserve to lust/love someone who couldn't provide the same love and dedication.
If only I believed such a thing.
Once my breathing seemed a bit more normal, I slowly moved the covers off my body and threw my legs over the edge of the couch.
The last few days I'd barely moved from that spot. I couldn't even believe Sango had been so nice as to let me stay with her a few days, not to mention she didn't even complain I'd been a sobbing wreck in her living room.
It was just… Staying even in the same building as Sesshomaru seemed awkward and wrong. I couldn't take another second of it, and Sango had rushed to my rescue.
I wouldn't be surprised if I received a phone call from Kagome, informing me we were being evicted from the luscious apartment. Sesshomaru DID have to make room for his new 'bride', so why not toss out the old trash?
I needed to find a new job also, even though only working with Sesshomaru a few months had taken care of all of Kagome's hospital bills. At least I no longer had that to worry about.
I groaned, stiffly rising from the couch to make my way to the restroom. I desperately needed to brush my teeth and I could probably have used a shower.
Walking anywhere left my entire body sore and aching. I felt drained, useless and in pain. Is that what happened when someone had such a broken heart? The rest of their body threatened to shut down? Was I just weak? Surely I could recover from this. I was just being pathetic. A human. Weak.
Stepping into the shower, I let the fall of water drown out my sobs of sorrow.
~*~
A ringing phone sounded while I was toweling off my hair. Straining my ears, I picked up the ringtone almost immediately.
The beautiful haunting melody caused another dull ache in my heart. It was Lord Sesshomaru's ringtone. I heard the song once after he'd given me that phone and it reminded me of him; strong, powerful, but also sad and lonely.
Filled with a sudden dread, I let the phone go unanswered, thankful when the ringing subsided. I nearly breathed a sigh of relief until two seconds later the phone began ringing again. This one felt more urgent. Who knows, Sesshomaru probably just needed the phone back for his new 'assistant'.
With shaking hands, I slowly reached for the phone. Again, it stopped playing. Then it started up again. Automatically I pressed the call button, gasping when I realized this was it, HE was on the other line.
Ever so slowly I lifted the phone up to my ear.
"Where are you?"
"Why does it matter, Sesshomaru?" My voice came out weak. Drained. It didn't matter though, he already knew I was weak, didn't he?
"You leave me without thought or care for nearly two days and then decide not to show up for work? Was the sex that bad?" He practically growled through the cell phone.
"Really, Sesshomaru? You think this is about the sex we had? Even for a demon, you're such a STUPID man. How about the next time you make a phone call to WHOMEVER, letting them know how much you don't care for me and what a HUGE RUSE our upcoming marriage is, you'll have a bit more finesse and do it while I'm out of the penthouse?"
I expected silence. Cursing, anger, an explosion of words. SOMETHING letting me know he was caught and he knew it.
I wasn't prepared for what came next.
A burst of laughter sounded from the phone. It was strong, bold, deep and rich. My toes curled and my free hand clutched the towel tightly around me.
"Why are you laughing at me? Do you despise me so much the only response you'll give me is a hearty chuckle because you think I'm so ignorant as to actually have believed you and all of your lies? You deceived me. I never want to hear from you again."
"Wait, Rin you don't under—".
I clicked a button, effectively ending the conversation. THE NERVE OF THAT MAN.
Thinking he could just call me, practically laugh in my face and everything would be swell? What did I ever see in him? Even if it was the most beautiful laugh I'd ever heard.
I quickly changed into a pair of skinny jeans, a purple flannel shirt and a pair of silver flats. I still wore the enormous engagement ring he'd given me. A large part of me didn't have the heart to take it off and return it. Not yet, anyways.
Once dressed, I half expected another phone call, or a dozen. I didn't get any. I did notice that he'd called me about 37 times while I was in the shower. Right about the time we normally head into work together. I guess he did notice my absence.
Sighing heavily, I hurriedly fixed my long damp hair into a side braid before heading into the living room. A heavy knock sounded at the door.
"Sango, forget your keys again?" The last two days she was always doing that. She'd yell at me to lock the door behind her and then what do you know? She wouldn't have the house keys when she came back from work.
The knock came again, this time seemingly more impatient.
"Hang on, I'm almost there. Sheesh."
I rushed toward the door, slamming my foot right into an end table.
"Ow!" I shrieked painfully, hopping on the opposite foot as the other throbbed in pain.
A rush of movement sounded from the front lawn.
"Wha?" I sounded out, right before the door shattered completely down the middle.
"Aah!" I wailed in panic, falling back onto my ass as the remaining parts of the door slowly fell from the hinges and to the floor. Looking up expecting to see a badass Sango, I was completely baffled by the stern brow, strong jawline and intense gleaming gold eyes staring down at me.
"Sesshomaru?"