My thanks to Sylvain for the beta work

Face to Face

Part 47

To Aaron's great relief, a customer had cut short his conversation with his mother, she hadn't been too pleased about it though. She seemed to think he'd know what to do, that he'd have all the answers. Well, he didn't, he was reeling from the news, and he needed some time to get his head around it, some peace and quiet to think it all through. He'd impatiently told his mam to go home or to work, and to think about telling Paddy, because if she didn't, he would!

He just couldn't deal with her right now, he could barely look at her, he was just so damn angry with her. How could she let something like that happen? How could she be so careless? She wasn't some naïve, sexually inexperienced teen now was she? Anything but!

As soon as his customer had left, he'd pulled his mobile out of his pocket, he needed to talk to Jackson, he needed to tell him about his mother's latest clanger. Jackson wasn't answering though, and it had eventually gone to voicemail, which had annoyed him, and he'd left a short and not-so-sweet message on his boyfriend's phone, "Phone me when you can spare a minute!"

All he could think about now was Paddy, and how he'd react to the news. He knew he'd be shocked initially but, if there was no doubt the baby was his, he'd be over the moon, ecstatic. But then if Paddy thought there was a chance the baby was Carl's? Aaron knew he wouldn't' turn his back on his mam or the baby, but it would certainly rock his world, it would more than complicate things.

All thoughts of work had gone out the window, he was just standing leaning against the office desk, lost in his troubled thoughts. He heard a vehicle pull up outside, heard footsteps, and was annoyed someone else was trespassing on the quiet time he needed right now. He felt like telling whoever it was to piss off, and just might if they said the wrong thing to him.

"Hi."

The cheerful voice, the beaming smile took him aback, Jackson was the last person he was expecting to see. "What you doing here?"

"I was on my way over to Hotton and as it was only five minutes out of my way, I thought I'd best come see what was wrong, I know something is." Aaron's tone of voice in the message he'd left him told him that much.

"You're not going to believe it."

Jackson had listened to his boyfriend's news and Aaron was right, he was finding it hard to believe. What he wasn't finding hard to believe though was just how worked up Aaron was about it. He was highly sensitive where Paddy and his mum were concerned. Recent events had driven a wedge between him and them, he'd said and had kept on saying that it would all end badly and right now it certainly looked like it could be heading towards a very difficult patch. He wasn't sure what to say. Knowing the mood Aaron was in, nothing he said would placate him, still he was going to have to say something, "Is she sure, I mean, is it definite?" It could be a false alarm, that sort of thing happened all the time. Aaron could well be getting himself in a tizzy over nothing.

"She's sure! She's done a few of them home tests things and because they've all been positive, she went to see her GP this morning, he's confirmed it."

Jackson liked Chas, they'd had their differences but nothing they hadn't moved past, he couldn't help but feel for her right now, "It must have come as a shock to her; it's a lot for her to take in, to deal...

"She's a stupid cow..."

"Aaron!"

"Well, she is! She's a heartless one too. She doesn't want to tell Paddy about the baby, she just wants rid!"

That had taken Jackson aback but, seeing how upset Aaron was about the idea, he knew he had to try and reason it out with him, "Right now she probably sees that as the easiest option..."

"Yeah, that would be right! She always takes the easy way out. It doesn't matter who gets hurt in the process as long as she's ok. When her and my dad started having problems, she just walked out, left me behind without a second thought. I bet when she found out she was having me she thought about getting rid too."

"No." That, he didn't believe, and he certainly didn't want Aaron thinking that way.

"I told her she has to tell Paddy, that she's got to be upfront with him."

Aaron's thoughts were all over the place right now, and he was working himself up more and more. Jackson knew he needed to help him rein his turbulent emotions, try and calm him down. "I think you're right but, maybe she needs a little time to accept it herself, maybe she needs you to..."

"She wants me to sort her mess out, help her with her dirty work!"

"Does she? Or does she just need someone to say it's alright, it'll be ok, you've got me. Did you say any of that to her?"

"No." No, he hadn't, he'd been too mad at her. Once he knew what was wrong, he'd lost all sympathy for her, and he still didn't have any.

"It's not too late, you know."

"It's Paddy that's going to need my support."

"Yes, he will but so does your mum, and maybe even more than Paddy does."

"This mess is all her own making."

"I'm sure she never set out for it to happen! You going off on one isn't helping, by the way. And we both know where all this anger is coming from, don't we?

"What?"

"That morning this all kicked off, you admitted to wanting them back together, remember, we talked about it..."

"I said it wouldn't work..."

"Yeah, you said that too and you've kept on saying it, so too that Paddy would end up getting hurt. But that's not why you've been giving them such a hard time, is it? The truth is you're not just scared for Paddy, you're scared for yourself, scared you'll be hurt all over again."

"You don't know what you're talking about..."

"Yes, I do, and you know why? Because I know you. Because I know just how very much Paddy and your mum mean to you. You want them both to be happy, you want them both to be settled, and it would be just about perfect if they found all that with each other. But you just won't let yourself believe it, you won't give them a chance..."

"Because I know her. Paddy's not exciting enough for her, he's too safe, he's..."

"Maybe she's realised Paddy and all his qualities are exactly what she needs..."

"But she doesn't love him. You said as much that morning."

"Because that's what I believed at the time. But while you've been keeping your distance, avoiding them, well, I've seen them together, seen how they look at each other and I think your mum genuinely cares for Paddy, I think she really does love him..."

"As a friend, maybe. Not in the way she should. Not in the way Paddy loves her."

"Then why is she so scared she'll lose him? Why is she so desperate for the baby to be his and not Carl's?"

"She's just scared she'll end up on her own."

"You're not being fair to her, Aaron. I know she's let you down in the past, that she's hurt you, but the two of you have put all that behind you. You know she loves you. And right now she needs you, so stop distancing yourself from her and go give her the support she needs.

Jackson's words had slowly sunk in, and he realised just how stupid he'd been, how selfish. That day he'd come back from visiting his dad in prison, Paddy and his mam had been standing outside the Smithy waiting for him. He'd been emotional, hurting inside and seeing them there together... well they'd looked like a couple, and right at that moment he'd wanted nothing more than for them to be a couple, for them to be his parents in every sense of the word.

He'd promised Jackson he'd find his mother and talk to her, he didn't know what he was going to say though, he was no good with words. He just hoped he didn't go saying the wrong thing, he'd already made a pig's ear of things once this morning.

With Jackson heading to Hotton, he'd made his way up the hill, Paddy's car wasn't in the drive which told him he was out doing his rounds. His mam should have been at work but he didn't think she would be somehow, and sure enough, he found her sitting at the kitchen table staring into a mug of tea.

"Mam?" She looked surprised to see him, not to mention a little wary of him. She was probably expecting another earful of something unpleasant. When she started to blink away tears, his heart went out to her, she really did need him. But what to say? How to break the ice? His mind wandered back to the day she'd slapped him across the face, well he'd asked for it! Then like now, Jackson had been the one to open his eyes, to make him see sense and he'd traipsed back down to Carl's wanting to put things right between the two of them. She'd hugged him, and he knew she'd been comforted when he'd hugged her back. Taking a few steps closer to her, he held out his arms, saying softly, "Come here."

TBC