Accompanying soundtrack: Bob Sinclar – "Disco 2000 Selector"
It was Tuesday after work, and Jen had agreed to go to H's with the outfit she'd prepared to make sure she had H's approval. She didn't have a choice in this, she was summoned to present arms – it was their ritual.
The door was on the latch and Jen let herself in. H was in the kitchen making some attempt at cooking.
"What on earth are you making H? It smells like arse."
"Yeah, this is take two, the first one is still smouldering in the bin."
"How does someone grow up to be so inept? You could burn water!"
With a half smirk half glare, H dismissed Jens comments, changing the subject.
"I reckon you've got a decent shot with this lass tonight. The fact she actually accepted your invitation out is a good start, and she might not even be much of a challenge."
"I appreciate your support, "she nodded at H, "but lets not run before we can walk – the first hurdle is she's got to turn up yet! At this point no chickens are counted."
"Ah yes, positivity!" scoffed H. "Jen, stop downplaying this, and just accept it for what it is. A first date, that could be lots of fun – possibly naked fun," she mouthed silently, "But whatever happens you've just got to try and enjoy it. Pessimism means that you're likely to miss out on some of the best experiences of your life, especially those which happen spontaneously."
"I know you're totally right, but then I remember all the other crappy first dates, and I can't help but wonder why we bother half of the time."
"Jen," H said sternly, fixing her gaze, "If you think about all the potential disasters that could befall you, they are far more likely to actually happen, so STOP IT! Think about the best first date you ever had, planned or unplanned, the combination of nerves, confidence, forehead slapping idiotic comments and chemistry. We can't engineer these things, they either happen or they don't."
Jen listened to H, and she couldn't help zone out slightly as she thought of that best first date. In truth, as much as she hated to admit it, it was the one with Tilly - the one where they went to Crosby Beach to look at the Gormley statues. It was just easy, although slightly contrived at first trying subtly to suggest Tilly ought to accompany her, but the rest of it was just so without complication. Conversation flowed freely, and to be in her company felt the most natural thing in the world. Jen felt sad as she thought back, knowing that something and someone precious was now just a memory.
"Jen… Jen… JEN…" H impatiently raised her voice each time.
"Shit, sorry, I was thinking about, er… my outfit." Jen didn't want to discuss Tilly with H again so soon, she'd promised out of sight out of mind. But it was hard not to, because she was so terribly fond of most of the memories she had of them together.
"So, what are we wearing?" she said with a flighty tone in her voice.
"I don't want to overdo it so I'm just going to stick with what I know best," and Jen held up a black shirt and a flowery skirt.
"Marvellous," said H. "Could I convince you into a pair of Jeans at all? You know you have a great butt, and I think you should maximise your assets to guarantee a return on your investment," she said with a cheeky wink.
"I'm supposed to be feeling comfortable and confident, which I won't be if I wear jeans. We can't all pull off the cowboy look you know!" Jen giggled, sticking out her tongue.
"She was pretty hot though, wasn't she", H said, trying to steer Jen back down the right route of thinking. "And a rebound screw is the greatest way to help you get your thoughts in check, and it is exactly what you need".
"What am I rebounding from exactly?" Jen looked confused.
"Everything! Whatever insecurities and shit that's rolling round that little bean of yours", she tapped on Jen's forehead. "Dude, it's time to think about you for once." She smiled broadly, with a look of fondness in her eyes. Jen looked back at her best friend and knew that she always tried to say the right thing, even if came out all crass and slightly tainted.
"So tell me something - assuming she wants to knock boots, how're you gonna manage the fact you've got work the following morning? I mean, I know what I'd do….I'd be out of there before it's light, but you know if you think you might like to see her again, cos I think she's your type by the way, you're not just going to run out, are you?"
"Let me tell you something H, my darling, I have no intention of going back to hers, NOR.." she got louder as she could see H was about to interject, "of taking her back to mine. If she's interested she'll wait", Jen said, a confident grin spreading across her face.
"Oh hello, so we're playing hard to get now, are we?"
"H, it's not hard to get, it's more like 'what's the rush'? If she wants more, then I'm just going to leave her wanting more. Then, if she wants a follow up, we'll see what happens." Jen wasn't sure if even she believed herself when she said that, and she could see H smirking.
"You're so full of shit, Jen!" and H dipped her fingers into a bowl of cold water and flicked them in Jen's face.
"HEY!" she shouted back, laughing. "So when's my bloody tea going to be ready then, eh?" realising that at this rate it was going to be never. "Or is there something I can help you with?"
"Finally," she H, "it's taken you far too long to offer! Call yourself a friend?" and she threw a bag of vegetables in Jen's direction.
Wednesday morning started the same as any normal day, but Jen had struggled to get to sleep the night before, the anticipation of the date running through her mind. When she did eventually drift off she was awoken by her alarm what felt like almost immediately.
As the day passed at college Jen's nerves increased a little. It was all positive, and in a way she enjoyed the feelings of uncertainty, but she didn't like making small talk, and wondered how much she might struggle to keep up a scintillating conversation. And until that time she had to entertain her snot-nosed students too. She hated watching the clock.