In the tight corners of a dark alleyway, two people stand above the dead body of a prostitute, her blood running down the bricks as it mixed with the rain that was pouring down. One of the murderers was a butler dressed in black, having long black hair tied with a red bow with yellow-green eyes that glowed behind his spectacles. That butler was...me, me back when I knew who I was.
I was seeing everything from my past self's eyes, remembering the memory as if I was watching a play where I was in the mind of the main character. In my right hand, I was carrying a heavy weapon that was covered with thick red blood, the blood of my victim that also stained my clothes. I was panting heavily, feeling the rain soak my clothes and body while having a huge smile across my face as my past self recalled how much fun I had killing her. Or slaying the prostitute down while she did the actual killing.
"We need to go now. The sooner we leave the less likely we will get caught."
My past self turned around at the sound of her voice, the voice that I was employed to and made my emotions go into a frenzy.
Dressed in the color I adored, my dear madam put away her surgical knife that she made a vain attempt to clean by wiping the blood off on her bright red coat. My madam...her name was Angelina Dalles, or better known as Madam Red, who's short red hair flared up like fire in the sun and whose eyes were as dark as dried up blood with lips of red rubies. Pale skin, thin figure...she was the only woman who my past self had ever felt an attraction to, and probably would have been the only one.
"Stop standing around," Angelina had said when my past self had yet to answer her. "Unlike your kind, I cannot fade into the background and linger like you can. We need to go home now."
She then turned her back on me and started to walk away. I stared at Angelina for a long moment as she attempted to leave our crime, seeing that the fresh, warm blood was making her clothes stick firmly to her body, and with the addition to the rain that was pouring down on us, her whole body was now wet and slick.
Ever since I witnessed her kill one of her early victims, I had wanted her for myself. A killer that was just as passionate as the beautiful color that sprayed onto her... It was the spark of lust that kept building up with every kill. My heart was now pounding in my chest, my breathing thickening with every movement I saw her make.
That's it, I cannot hold back any longer.
Dropping my weapon, my internal desires had taken over as I ran up to Angelina and grabbed her from behind. Angelina gasped at my actions, me quickly pinning her to the hard brick wall. Our eyes met, where I saw the alarmed look in her dark brown eyes.
"...W-what are you doing?"
My past self grinned widely.
"...You really know how turn me on, my dear sweet Madam Red," I had answered, moving my face closer to hers. "Seeing you dressed like this...it was only a matter of time before our partnership becomes something deeper."
My past self leaned in to where my lips reached the side of her neck.
"...You're always telling tales at parties about noblewomen with hot passionate affairs. Why not have that same kind of passion yourself? If you allow me, Angelina, I can give you a night that you will never forget..."
I gently licked off the rainwater as I spoke, getting a small taste of her skin and deeply breathing in her scent. At first, I felt her body tense up to where it encouraged my longing for her, but it also became relaxed just as quickly.
"...You poor fool."
I froze in place, Angelina's words stopping my past self in his tracks.
My past self was expecting to hear disgust or rejection...or even expect her to fully give in to the offer. She was lonely, I had seen her long for my company as I lusted for her blood soaked body. ...So why was she not rejecting me or giving in to her loneliness? My past self did not understand this...and neither do I now.
"...You claim you can give me a night I would never forget," Angelina said, her voice having a firm, and yet sympathetic tone to it, "but lust and love are two separate things. And a night of lust is not what I want."
Gently, she pushed me back to where we stood face to face. Smiling at me, one that contradicted the sadness in her eyes, she gave me a small, somber kiss on the cheek.
My eyes widened, a strange warmth going through me. As flirty as my past self was, never had I received the first kiss, and even less that the kiss had a token of affection to it. Instead of lust for a woman covered in blood, I had now started to feel something completely different, and that I wanted to kiss her for a new desire.
Out of the realm of reason, I pinned Angelina to the wall again and kissed her hard on the lips, my eyes starting to sting for a reason I could not understand. Angelina kissed me back, but soon her lips broke free from mine and reminded me that we had to leave. My past self smiled down on her, panting heavily as I put my hand to her cheek.
"Don't need to fret, my dear Angelina. You forget that the human limits don't apply to me."
The memory faded a bit as my past self and Angelina eventually ended up leaving the crime scene and ended up in her bedroom, where we spent our first night together.
...Angelina...
As my dream faded to black I slowly opened my eyes to stare at the pale ceiling, where my headache was at its worse. Next to me, I could hear Edna's steady breathing, indicating that she was in a deep sleep. Getting hot under the covers, I removed them off of me and sat towards the edge of the bed, being careful as I didn't want to disturb Edna. I sighed heavily, putting my hands over my face and rubbing my sweaty forehead as my dream replayed in my mind.
Finally...finally I have a solid memory of my past. And of course, it had to be a memory that made my heart ache!
Angelina, Madam Red...I can remember her as clear as day now. Her face, her voice, her personality...the fact that she and I were Jack the Ripper and I killed so many women for her... I felt nothing, and yet everything, from knowing that I was now a murderer. I laughed softly to myself, wondering how Jasper and Simon would have reacted back when they were talking about Jack the Ripper, if they had known that a part of him was standing right next to them!
I groaned softly, shivering a little as I reached out to the floor to get my red coat, where I put it around me and held it close. Angelina was the first person who showed me what it was like to actually love and to feel love. To truly care about someone not just for their body, but for the person inside it. After that night where she gave me that small token of affection...I devoted myself all to her, willing to do whatever she asked just so long as I could get that same attention from her. But then we began to argue...and she would not give me all the attention I longed for. I got frustrated, I began to hate her for a stupid reason, and then...
Something.
Something happened, but I could not remember what. Everything before and after Angelina was still a blank, and the details of when I met and left her were fuzzy as well. I only remembered the person and who we were together, not the events that happened with it.
But it was still a start to fully remember who I am.
Clutching tightly to the edges of the coat, I could feel tears trying to form in my eyes. This coat was what Angelina wore all the time, and whenever I wore it I can still faintly sense her presence on it. It was the last thing I have of her...and right now, all I wanted more than anything was to see her again.
I don't know how long I sat on the edge of the bed, feeling the tears silently run down my cheeks as I long to have Angelina by my side again. Suddenly, I heard Edna mumble in her sleep, turning to her side where she faced me. I watched her for a moment, now understanding why I had such a strong attraction to her.
The peaceful look while she slept...she looked like a younger version of Angelina, with the same bright red hair and beauty in the color red. She had always reminded me of Angelina, similar appearance, strong-willed personality, and always finding ways to surprise me... She was, as cruel as it may sound, a substitute for Angelina in a way...but there was one thing she had above Angelina.
Edna held the same passion that I held for her, there was no doubt she loved me would do anything for me. With Angelina...there was always a look of sadness in her eyes, in her soul, every time she looked at me, especially after we had our first night together. I was never able to enter her heart the same way she entered mine, something or someone always held her back...
I shook my head, trying to get the negative, jealous thoughts out of my head. I stood up and quietly got myself dressed. It may be impossible, but now that I knew someone from my past, I can use that to find the rest of my memory. I had to find Angelina, or someone close to her who I also possibly knew, and then I would finally find out who I am. Once I was fully dressed, I approached the door and put my hand on the knob.
"...Se...Sebastian?"
Before I could turn the knob, I turned around to see Edna waking up. She rose up, using the sheets to cover her chest as she tried to get the sleep out of her eyes.
"Sebastian, what's going on?" Edna asked with a small yawn. "You seem...to be in a rush."
I blinked a couple of times, taking a far longer time to reply then I should have.
...What am I doing?
I can't leave Edna like this, not after the confession she made to me yesterday! If I left her now, to go after an older lover of mine no less...I would be rejecting her like the many times I have been. Edna needed me, and so would Christine, Daniel, Jasper, Simon, and Martha with Lord Black to worry about. If I left now...I would be leaving the friends who have helped me in my weakest time of need.
"Even if you do find out who you were before, you will never fully recover to the person who you once were. Already, your mind and spirit have begun to change to form a different persona, so even if you reclaim your memory, you can never go back to being the same person. If I were you, I would not even try to recover the past and only look towards the future."
My grip tightened on the doorknob.
"...I was thinking about going out to see if we have enough food in the storage," I finally answered with a small smile. "I didn't know if we had enough, and knowing you would be hungry when you woke up, I was going to see if any stores were open to get something..."
Edna smiled.
"Aw, that is sweet of you. But I don't think anything would be open this early... Though to be honest, I'm not that hungry."
I gave a small chuckle.
"That's a lie. I can see the starving look in your eyes, especially since neither of us have eaten anything yesterday."
"...True." Edna laughed softly. "That is so true..."
I moved back towards the bed, sitting down next to her as Edna stared off into the distance. A small blush came to her cheeks, her leaning back against the bed.
"I...I will be honest when I say that I don't know what to say after what we...experienced together," she confessed softly. "This may be hard to believe...but this is the first time I've slept with a man. So I...have no knowledge in the area of romance..."
"It is alright," I replied, feeling slightly amused by her embarrassed look. "I will help you every step of the way."
Edna raised an eyebrow.
"Oh? So you've done this sort of thing before, Sebastian?"
I gave a nervous laugh.
"For once, I'm glad I don't have my full memory back! But I have been giving Christine some romance advise lately, so I might know a thing or two about the subject."
"'Christine?' Why would you be giving Christine advise like that?"
With a large grin across my face, I explained to her about Christine's little crush on Daniel and how I've tried to get the two together by interfering now and then.
"Though Danny is a bit boring at times," I concluded, "he and Christine make a cute couple. Hopefully, by the end of it, I hope everything works out for them."
"Ideally, I would be feeling the same," Edna replied. "But as servants, their own personal affairs comes second to serving me. There may be things I can allow to slip by, but I can't let their relationship distract them from their duties."
She met my gaze.
"...However, I won't force them to break apart, considering that I've broken so many social rules by sleeping with my butler."
I gave a mischievous smile.
"But did you really? If you're not really a noblewoman, then you technically haven't broken any rules and everything is fine!"
Edna rolled her eyes and smirked.
"But only you and I know that, and of course Martha only knows about my true identity. So until I'm proven otherwise...we are breaking the rules and we have to keep it a secret."
She leaned in closer to me.
"Which means that we need to spend as much time as we can together before we have to go back, where the border of mistress and butler is back into play..."
She then put one arm around me and kissed my lips. A spark of emotions went through me, a feeling of happiness that I never got to experience before. I kissed her back, and whether or not I remembered who I was, as long as I have Edna with me, I would need nothing else.
I am not the same person I was when I was with Angelina, so it was about time I stopped longing for the past and move on with the new life I have right in front of me.