Chapter 17

Alicia couldn't believe what Will had told her earlier in the day. She refused to believe it. Except she couldn't help but think that it could be possibly true. The information had come from Kalinda, and that was a very trustworthy source. Even though they weren't technically friends anymore, Alicia knew that Kalinda wouldn't be so spiteful to lie about this. And this was real. This was serious. She couldn't think of anything but how crazy it all seemed. This issue has come up twice in Zach's life and it was two time too many. The first time around it was nothing but a cruel, heinous lie created by someone during Peter's State's Attorney campaign. This time it seemed there would be some real truth to it, and Alicia didn't think she could handle it.

She had gone back to the firm after Will left, much to her dismay but she knew he had to go. At least it was reassuring to her that he wanted to stay but he has a life too and it must go on. So Alicia went back to work, hating to do it and feeling more desperate than ever to get home and talk with Zach. Mostly yell at him but she didn't care that there was a difference. She had to because she had already taken enough time off and people seemed to really need her at work considering she got swamped when she arrived in the morning.

But the day was finally over. She'd been thinking about what to say to Zach since she found out. Would she go in full force or take a slower approach that wouldn't frighten Zach and be more likely for him to open up about it? It wasn't a tough decision; she'd go in full force.

As Alicia stood outside her front door she prepared herself with what she was about to face. She was terrified that all of this would be true, which was what she was expecting. A part of her felt awful for Zach. If he had been acting distant and sullen because of whatever happened with him and this girl then Alicia would try to understand, at least in part. She took in a deep breath and unlocked the door and strolled in, nerves getting the best of her and making her whole body shake. In her best and most normal voice she called out, "I'm home!"

"Hi mom." She heard Grace call out from what sounded like the dining room. Alicia dropped her keys into the bowl by the door and walked through to find Grace studying at the table. She gave Grace a quick kiss on the top of her head and set her bag down on the table next to Grace's textbooks.

"Where's Zach?" Alicia asked apprehensively.

"In his room." Grace told her softly, focused on the work in front of her. Alicia left her daughter and went straight to Zach's room. She knocked softly and walked in before he could answer. He was sitting on his bed reading a novel of some kind. Alicia saw him look up, confused. Normally she would wait for the okay to come into the room but she could not find one reason why she should grant him that now. She stepped in and shut the door quickly behind her. Zach slowly shut his book and looked up expectantly at his mother.

"What is it?" He asked, almost frightful. And so he should be, Alicia thought to herself. She took in a deep breath and began to start her full inquisition.

"I came across some information today, Zach." She paused, waiting to see any sort of reaction from him. Not yet. Alicia moved across his room and stood at his desk. She leaned against his desk and crossed her arms. "I heard about your…" She looked across the room and she tried to find the right word. "Dalliance with a girl at your school." That got a reaction from him. He widened his eyes and sat up on his bed.

"You… what?" He asked quietly.

"Zach, I'm sure by now you are well aware of the precautions you have to take when having sex-" He opened his mouth to interrupt, but Alicia held up a finger to stop him. "And I cannot for the life of me think how you could honestly be so reckless to get this girl… Pregnant." She had to pause at that, it was still a lot to take in and the rest of it had barely sunk in yet.

"No, mom-"

"Stop, Zach. I know what happened. And even though I'm trying to sympathize for you and this girl, whom I don't even know the name of, I can't." Zach stood up from the bed and looked at his mother with a terrified look on his face.

"Mom, it isn't what you think-" He tried to talk but Alicia wasn't going to let him.

"No." She lowered her tone, hoping Grace wouldn't hear. "You get this young girl pregnant, she has an abortion," even the word on her tongue was horrid to say let lone think, "and you sulk around not telling me. If you had told me I wouldn't be mad. Well, maybe I would but that isn't the point. This is out there, someone found it and brought it to my attention." Zach looked down at his feet, looking ashamed. "What if other people find this? Do you think it won't affect this family? Especially your father? I'm sorry for this Zach, I am, but you should not have been this irresponsible." Her tone was intimidating, to say the least. She needed to let him know it wasn't okay. She thought she had raised him better, but that wasn't a good argument in her head. All parents do their best and their children stray away from what they've been taught. It's a habit of nature really, but Alicia couldn't stand this.

"Mom, you don't have it right." Was all Zach said, trying to sound vulnerable.

"Then please enlighten me." Alicia wouldn't accept the vulnerability.

"I don't want to talk about it but it wasn't me who got her pregnant." Here comes the 'denying it' part, she thought.

"Don't play that with me Zach Florrick." She said harshly.

"I swear it wasn't me!"

"You will tell me the whole story then." Alicia pulled Zach's desk chair out and spun it around to face him and sat down.

"Well, her name is Jane, to start off with." Zach didn't want to talk about it, but he knew he had to because he needed his mother and everyone else to know the truth. "I guess I was sort of dating her a few weeks ago." He applied the term dating loosely, and he knew that his mom would know what it meant considering the story she'd found out. "A couple weeks after we started going out she started seeing her ex-boyfriend. I didn't know." Alicia nodded along to his story. "Anyway, she came to me a couple weeks after that telling me that she had been seeing him behind my back. I was pretty pissed off but then she told me she was pregnant." He looked at his mother, who only had a confused look on her face. He continued, "From her telling me she had been seeing her ex I basically knew that I wasn't the one to get her pregnant, I just figured out it was him, but she told me that I was the only one who knew and I apparently was the only one she trusted. Which was such a huge stretch because she was cheating on me and-" Alicia's raised eyebrow told him he was getting off track. "So, I told her I'd support her no matter what she did but I couldn't be with her anymore. And that meant her going to the clinic, and I went with her. I swear it wasn't me who knocked her up. I promise, but she was just so upset and crying all the time and I had to see her through it because I was the only one who knew and I guess that's why I've been distant or whatever. I'm just so exhausted from comforting her all the time. Not it a bad way, but I just needed my own space. Especially with the Grace thing because all she wants to do is cry and lean on my shoulder too."

Alicia was shocked. She didn't know where to begin with all the information he had recited to her. He could, of course, be making the whole thing up. If it was really him then he would have perfected a story to tell to cover his actions, or it could be the truth. The information she had gotten from Will, and obviously Kalinda, didn't really have a lot of proof to say it was Zach who got this Jane pregnant.

It was all too much!

"You really swear you're telling the truth?" She looked at him with fierce eyes, ready to catch any slight slip-up his face could reveal.

"I swear I'm telling the truth." He said, sounding drained.

"You understand why I thought it was you?" He nodded. "And you will not let this actually happened in your life, will you?"

"Never."

And that was all Alicia could do. She had to trust her son, there was no other option. She felt awful and ridiculous inside though. She'd accused him of something terrible, and she had gotten it all wrong. She stood up from the chair and went to Zach, embracing him and holding him tight. She could never voice how sorry she was; she wouldn't accept this as some sort of defeat because she was always meant to be right, but she hoped that her forgiveness would come through in the hug. She pulled back and brushed back some of his floppy and thick hair. She gave him a weak smile and rubbed her thumb across his cheek.

"I'll go make some dinner." She voiced softly.

"Need any help?" Zach offered. She shook her head. She needed him to have his own space for a while, not only because he'd just said he needed it recently but because she couldn't stand to be in the same room with him and her own giant cloud of humiliation.

She walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind her and went to the kitchen.

"Is Zach okay?" She heard Grace call out.

"I think so." Was all she could say. Herself however, now that was a different story. One dinner could wait for while she sorted herself out. She walked to her bag and retrieved her phone.

"I'll put dinner on soon." She told Grace as she walked to her bedroom.

She sat down on her bed and scrolled through her contacts. As she went past Peter's name she wondered if she should tell him about it. She probably should, but it wasn't actually out in the public yet so there was no reason to worry him about it. She went past his name and found Will's. She immediately hit the call button and waited for him to answer, which he did after three rings.

"Alicia?" He sounded worried, which in turn worried her.

"Will, are you alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine. Have you spoken to him yet?" The sound of those words in such a concerned tone gently warmed her heart. He was fine and he was worrying about her and her son.

"I did just now." She fell back onto the bed and closed her eyes.

"And?"

"And he says it's only partly true." She let out a deep breath, probably the one she had been holding since before she walked through the door.

"Which parts?"

"Well, it wasn't him who got this girl, Jane, pregnant. She apparently cheated on Zach with her ex-boyfriend and that's who got her pregnant." Alicia didn't hear him say anything. "What?" She asked.

"Nothing, just taking it in…" He said slowly. She'd normally ask him to just tell her but she was not in the mood to hear what was really on his mind. That would have to wait until later when she had space in her head.

"Right. Zach also says that she did have an abortion, the poor girl, and Zach took her to the doctor. He was only supporting her through this and that's why he's been distant. He only needed alone time, I suppose." Alicia started to yawn, and it was only 6pm. Exhausted…

"I guess it's mostly a relief for you guys then."

"I guess so."

"You sound tired." Will observed, just by hearing her voice.

"I am." She left out a soft laugh, definitely amused by it. She was always tired.

"You should go to bed early."

"I have to make dinner first." She yawned again, making a loud yawning noise which Will laughed at.

"Order some dinner. You can cook tomorrow. You should sleep now, you need to sleep now." Alicia marveled at the fact that he wasn't even in the same state but could still care for her well-being a great deal. He certainly knew her, and she loved that about him.

"You know me too well, Gardner."

"I make it my business to know you so well." He responded.

"Well, I think you might just win this time. I'll order dinner and go to sleep." She lifted her back up from the bed and kicked off her heels before she stood up.

"I always like it when I win." He said proudly.

"I know you do."

"I like it even more when I'm with you to celebrate my wins." He laughed at his own comment, and Alicia joined.

"I like it too." She admitted, and yawned again. She was extremely exhausted and wasn't sure she could even manage to order her and the kids dinner.

"Okay, but seriously, order some food and sleep."

"I will. I'm not even attempting to do anything else."

"I love you, Alicia. You're so strong and I don't know anyone else who is as resilient as you are. You're so brilliant and I love you more each and every day." She could get used to him complimenting and loving her this way, if she hasn't already.

"I want to say lovely things about you but I'm too tired, so I'll just tell you I love you too."

"Oh, thanks." He said sarcastically but they both laughed together. Alicia knew he understood, it wasn't hard to understand. They said their goodbyes and Alicia hit the end call button. She felt her heart grow a little heavier. Ending a call with Will always made her feel that way. Simply his voice made her feel instantly better and she wanted to hear it every minute of every day. And she knew that in a short three months, she would make that happen.

She walked back out to the dining room to find Grace still at work.

"Grace, I'm just going to order us some dinner. I'm too tired to make something."

"That's fine. I was sort of craving some pizza anyway." She tried to suppress a laugh.

"Then we'll get some pizza." Alicia smiled warmly at her daughter and walked to her, bending down to hug her. Grace hugged back tightly, which made them both feel very calm and comforted.

"I love you, Grace." Alicia said softly.

"I love you, too."

After dinner Alicia cleaned up after everyone quickly and went straight to her bedroom. She dressed in possibly the most daggy, yet also most comfortable pajamas she could find and simply collapsed on the bed. She stayed there for a few minutes before finding the energy to actually get underneath the covers. As she moved she felt her phone by her legs. She picked it up and wriggled beneath the covers before checking it one last time before she fell to sleep. She only had one message, and she knew instantly from the way her heart started to beat that it was from Will. She opened the message, and she was right.

You deserve to have the best sleep tonight, and so I hope you dream of me. I love you, Alicia. Good night.

She didn't reply. She simply hoped the same for herself. And sure enough, she dreamed of everything sweet (and even completely filthy) about Will Gardner, the man she adored and loved so dearly.

AN: I know abortion is a touchy subject, and I hope that no one thought this was too out of line. If you did think that however, I will let you know that that tiny tiny two chapter arc is over. AND I'M SO SORRY FOR SUCH A LATE UPDATE. I said that last update, but things continued to get busy. It's easter time and I had my birthday and it got out of hand but I am pretty sure my life will become boring and uneventful again now. From here on out, I think I'll focus on Will and Alicia because I can't stand not having Will around and I still sometimes weep about it tbh. So enjoy the next chapters, that I'll start writing now!