[NB, I'm endeavouring to bring Jen and Tilly back to the firey, powerful connection they had before Hollyoaks assassinated both their characters. Jen isn't predatory, and Tilly is very sexually self-aware, as she was when she first met Esther in Abersoch. No tale that runs smooth captivates an audience. If Harry potter killed Voldemort in the first book, the other 6 would've been pretty lame. The journey is almost more important than the destination.]
Accompanying Soundtrack: Johnny Hollow – Hollow World
Jen was dreading telling H. There would be a whole bag full of 'tuts' and 'are you fucking crazy!' comments, and no matter what she said it was never going to go down well. She could desperately do with an angle but she didn't have one. She bit the bullet and picked up her phone.
"H! babe, how was your afternoon roll in the hay?"
"Suitably satisfactory thanks! To what do I owe this pleasure my dear Jen?"
"Just wanted to see if my number one dude wanted to catch up for a drink tonight. You free? I'll even let you regale me with this afternoons filth."
"What you after Jen? You never want to hear about my filth," said H suspiciously. "I am intrigued. Come to mine anytime you want, I can't be arsed to go out."
It was a little more than an hour when Jen knocked on H's door. For the second time today she wasn't looking forward to the imminent conversation.
"Hey baby doll, drag that ass in here," H grinned at Jen as she opened the door. Jen stepped in, and through the kitchen where, as usual the kettle was boiling. "Or, help yourself, H said, waving a beer bottle at Jen.
Jen decided a beer was probably the best option - a little something to steady the nerves. She popped the cap and sat down on the sofa next to H.
"So… why are you here?" said H, peering at Jen. "Don't bullshit me Gilmore, I know you're up to something."
"Why does there need to be a reason for me to come see you? You got some psychic powers or something," said Jen, completely failing to sound convincing. She sighed…."Alright, but please.. don't judge me. Not until you've heard the whole story anyway."
"What's my little weirdo done this time?" H sounded genuinely curious.
"The emotional support I get from you is astonishing," Jen fell quiet for a moment. "I saw Tilly."
"What the fuck, Jen. Tell me it was to sort out her getting in touch with me the other day? To stop her getting in touch with YOU, too?"
"Yes… that is why I got in touch with her. She wanted to meet in person to discuss the past. She feels guilty about the whole police thing."
"So she bloody should do. She nearly got you fucking sent down, and I do not appreciate the way she screwed you over." H got a little fired up and protective.
"And she apologised for all that. She never intended for it to go that far."
"Why the hell are you defending her, Jen?" H was confused. "Why would you care how she feels, she's nothing to do with you anymore."
"Yeah…" Jen chewed her bottom lip. H looked irked.
"We chatted, talked over a lot of stuff… she feels guilty over Esther. So do I!"
"Yeah, but who cares, it's in the past. She can live with her guilt and leave you out of it."
"She's not with Esther through choice, she feels an obligation to her." Jen knew she wasn't winning any arguments anytime soon.
"What's your point?"
"She wants to be with me. She feels we can put the past behind us."
"Feels…? Present tense implies that your meeting wasn't a one-off." H looked furious.
"We slept together. I didn't intend for it to happen, but there's still this unshakeable connection we have together."
H got up from her seat and stalked around the room, pursing her lips and making irate grunting noises.
"I can't believe you're even entertaining doing this again, Jen!" H was now agitatedly throwing arm gestures around. "What is going on in your head, girl? You said you didn't love her, so why go back?"
"Ok, I lied I'm sorry. Seeing her again – it brought it all back." Jen stood up and walked over to H. "I'm truly sorry, I thought I could handle my feelings, and I can't." She hung her head. Jen looked in to the eyes of her best friend, a pleading look begging tor H to just live with what she was saying and stop giving her a hard time. H was never going to let her off that easily, but she decided to take the intensity down a notch.
H softened seeing Jen obviously struggling with her feelings, but she was still pissed off. "Don't do this to yourself sweetie. I love you too much to see you go through heartbreak with Tilly again. She's with Esther…"
"We talked about that. She's going to leave her – let her down gently."
"Why does this sound like every married man you ever hear about… 'I'll leave her, I promise…' It's fucking bullshit Jen, don't fall for this crap, please."
"I set some boundaries, H. I told her we wouldn't be exclusive until she's done with Esther. At least I'm trying to not set myself up for a fall. I am going to see Jess again – hell, she's smoking hot, I'm just going to hold off getting emotional involved. For the time being anyway, until I know if Tilly will genuinely leave Esther."
"Well at least you're thinking with your head and your dick for once, instead of letting your heart rule the way." H sighed, resigned. "Jen, you know I love you with all my heart, and the thought of you getting hurt again over this girl absolutely kills me." She leant in and hugged the life out of Jen. "But I don't think anything I could say is going to change your mind, is it?" She looked at Jen, who shook her head back at her with a guilty smile.
"Then all I can do is be here to provide advice. You need to tell me EVERYTHING that happens so I can be the voice of reason. Promise me that." H sighed. She knew Jen would be broken in two if this thing with Tilly didn't work out again, but it wasn't her place to tell Jen what to do, she was big enough and stupid enough to make her own mistakes.
"That I can do," said Jen, and she hugged H so hard.
"So tell me, Helen," Jen using her full name was a slight dig, and a vague attempt to divert the conversation. "How was your afternoon snack? By the way I still have no idea how you can trick a lass into bed with the mere flutter of your eyelids." Jen looked at H with intrigue.
"The internet dear Jen, is responsible for that little hook-up. When one's intentions are purely dishonourable - and are specified as such beforehand – the attracted clientele are.. let's say… in it for the same purpose. The drink beforehand is purely perfunctory, and a way of making sure she isn't obviously insane, and looks like her picture." H's sheer bluntness about her general approach to sex left Jen almost dumbstruck. "Anyway, why are we talking about my boring old life, forget all this Tilly nonsense, what about Jess?"
Jen wasn't overly pleased at Tilly being called 'nonsense' but she let it ride.
"She's cute, we definitely had some fun the other night. I'd like to see her again for sure. We haven't made any follow-up dates yet."
It was at that point Jen realised that she hadn't actually been in touch with Jess since she'd left her the other morning. She'd been understandably distracted by Tilly, but if she wanted to keep things with Jess ticking along it was rude to not actually have contact with her. Plus, with the Tilly thing it'd changed the way she saw Jess. In her she saw desire and lust, where with Tilly she saw love and passion. She now had two opportunities, competing against each other of course, but this filled her with confidence and hope. When you know you've got two sure-fire things, the worry and doubt is assuaged and replaced with more bravado.
"I'm seeing Tilly on Friday night," Jen followed up, "So I'll see what she's doing on Saturday, although she works in a bar so my guess is if we meet up it'll either be before or after work."
It was hard for Jen not to lick her lips at the prospect. She was definitely sweet on Jess, even after only a couple of dates, and the prospect of back-to-back dates with Tilly and then Jess was ridiculously exciting. Swiftly coming back down to earth, Jen looked straight at H.
"Which means you and I can go out," and she smiled at H. Throughout all this relationship madness she knew she mustn't forget about H because she was always her one constant, and the voice of reason, albeit a filthy-minded and hormonal-challenged one.
"Yay!" H did a mock hand-clap, "Providing you're not going to try and shag me too…" she whispered, mockingly into her ear.