AN: Sorry for the delay. Damn life gets in the way sometimes. I hope you all enjoy this long chapter! :-)
Alicia went into work on Monday morning with every intention of telling Cary about her relationship with Will and about them moving in together. She was usually a private person but considering that her and Will were on opposite sides now, it seemed to be more on the ethical side of things to tell Cary, and for Will to tell Diane too. It wouldn't change anything about their work, but as people say; honesty is the best policy. She couldn't exactly tell Cary how it would work out on the professional side of things now that she would move in with Will simply because she barely knew herself. It would be a while before she would move in, but Alicia needed to sit down with Will at some point and talk about how they would go about their own work in the house. It seemed all rather silly, and she trusted Will with everything she had, but she wasn't sure that she would be able to talk about a case. She most likely could. Will wouldn't leak any information she'd talk about to an opposing counsel. Hell, Will would probably tell her things about the opposing counsel, but they still needed to talk about it.
She walked into reception, greeted Sondra at the desk, checked for messages and walked to her desk. She glanced around the office and saw Cary making coffee in their little kitchen area. She contemplated telling Cary about her and Will now, or at the end of the day. If she did it later she could make an easy escape and not have the possibility of things being awkward with Cary for the day. Though as she sat in her chair, hands on her desk, she thought that Cary would be able to understand. It didn't really concern him. It was her life, her decision about her own personal life. She was doing the right thing in telling him but he didn't get to tell her to not do it. He'd definitely have an opinion, which he was entitled to but there was nothing he could do about the final outcome.
So with that in mind she stood up and walked cautiously and slowly over to Cary. She though he must have heard her heels hit the ground because he looked over his shoulder and smiled to her.
"Ah, good morning Alicia." He said rather happily. At least he was in a good mood, she thought.
"Morning Cary. How was your weekend?" She wandered over to the coffee machine and started to pour herself a cup while Cary stepped back.
"Good, thank you. How about you? Good weekend?"
"Yeah, it was good." He nodded and motioned to walk away but she quickly stopped him. "Cary, wait." She called out and he spun back around to see her. "I should… Tell you something."
"Okay." He took a sip of coffee and focused all his attention to her. She took a deep breath.
"I've been seeing Will."
"Gardner?" He raised his eyebrows and he seemed to be genuinely shocked. Which wasn't exactly a surprise.
"Yes. Will Gardner."
"Okay. Thanks for telling me, I guess." Now he seemed to be confused. And Alicia couldn't blame him for that either. All Cary knew was that Will was away for six months and before that they were on friendly terms but not really anything more. Alicia just liked to keep things private for as long as she could.
"We've sort of been together for six months."
"Wasn't he in New York?"
"Yes, he was, but we talked a bit before he left and that's when it began. Now that he's back, we're really together."
"Oh, okay. Well I'm happy for you Alicia." He smiled at her, but not full-heartedly, and Alicia could understand. Everything that had to do with her and Will was just confusing. Particularly confusing to anyone who wasn't Will or Alicia, and she was okay with that.
"One other thing. We've made the decision to move in together. I just wanted to tell you, since you're my partner and all." She gave him a kind smile, hoping he'd understand it all.
"Oh that sounds even better for you both." His smile this time felt more real, and she appreciated it. "I'm just going to go ahead and assume you'll work out the whole confidentiality thing, yeah?"
"Yes, of course. We won't actually make the move soon anyway. I thought I'd wait a bit, for the kids."
"Sure, sure. That makes sense, but really Alicia, I'm really happy for you." He took a few steps closer to her and rested a hand over her arm. "I'm happy you're happy." He said in a low tone.
"Thanks Cary. I'm… Really happy." She let out a happy sigh. She was over the moon actually. Everything felt right. Cary smiled once again to Alicia and walked away to his desk.
She had felt incredibly nervous about telling Cary, and that was the easiest person to tell. She didn't know how she would go about the Will thing with the kids, let alone Peter. There was no telling how he'd react. He could go with the pissed off effect or he could go with the gloom factor and pretend it was all okay when he would just be lying, but just like with Cary, Peter wouldn't get to say something that would get her to change her mind. The only defense he had would be about how Grace would feel but she was old enough to understand it all and she could speak for herself.
So Alicia took her cup full of fresh coffee and went back to her own desk. She picked up her phone and dialed for Will. She had agreed to tell him she had told Cary all about it.
"Alicia, hey." His voice just made her instantly calmer, which was something she'd need desperately once she talked to Peter, Zach and Grace.
"Hey. I just spoke to Cary, and it went well, I think."
"That's good. Did he say much?" There was hesitation in his voice. He was probably just concerned, Alicia thought.
"Not too much. He mentioned how we'll handle our cases separately but I just told him we're waiting a bit to figure all the details out."
"Right. Well sounds like it went well."
"Yes. I don't think he actually cares too much. As long as we're being professionally safe. I think." She heard him chuckled a little through the phone and it made her smile.
"That sounds about right. Diane might be similar. Though she'll definitely want more information about the professional front."
"I wouldn't expect any less. You're telling her soon then?" Alicia felt a bit worried for Will, which was ridiculous but Diane was his best friend. Whatever she had to say would weigh more in Will's mind than whatever Cary had to say in Alicia's mind. Of course she liked Cary and liked working with him but they don't have the type of close relationship Will and Diane do.
"I was going to tell her after her morning client meeting. She doesn't have to go into court today so it seems like a good day."
"It does seem like a good day then. Good luck with that." She giggled softly into the phone, quickly glancing around her to see if anyone could hear.
"Thank you. I might need that. I'm excited for this. It's a step." She sighed softly into the phone.
"I like this- us, moving forward." And it was the truth. Alicia loved the feeling that they were moving forward together. It was probably fast but they knew each other well, and they loved each other more than ever. It was the right decision for them, and they still had some time before the actual move as well.
"I like it too. Better go. Got work to do, as I imagine you do too."
"I do, yes."
"I'll talk to you soon, after I talk with Diane. Love you."
"I love you too." They hung up the phone to each other and Alicia leaned back into her chair for a moment. Everything was looking good for the day so far. It was still only the morning, but it was a new week and if Monday turned out okay then the rest of the week would have to hold up alright too.
Will placed his phone back onto his desk, looked up and peered through to Diane's office. She looked very concentrated on the man sitting in front of her. Will couldn't remember his name really. It was someone who Diane had recently took into the firm, and he should have made more of an effort to remember his name but Will was busy enough trying to get back into work in Chicago effortlessly. It was turning out to be a little more difficult than he had thought. David Lee wasn't making anything easy for him. David wanted to take Will's place (what else was new?) and he still wanted to. It was insane to think he had an actual shot, but since Will knew he didn't have solid footing on the matter he just let David go on about it on his own. At least he still did good work and brought in money.
After about a half hour of waiting until Diane's meeting was over Will strolled into her office, closing the door behind him, as he did a lot of the time.
"I've missed you doing this a little too much." Diane casually said and smiled at him.
"I've missed it a bit too much myself." He returned the smile and sat down in a chair in front of her desk.
"So what have you got for me today?"
"Nothing about work."
"Ahh. Well shoot."
"It's about Alicia." He paused for a second, and he wasn't sure why. Maybe to let it resonate with Diane but he knew he shouldn't have stopped when she jumped in before he could continue.
"If you're about to tell me that we're on war terms again I don't think I'll be able to handle it, Will." She formed a no-nonsense tone and Will was quick to defend.
"No, no, no. It's nothing bad. We're fine. We're very good actually." She let out a relieved sigh and leaned back into her chair. "It's so good in fact, that I asked her to move in with me."
"Oh. Well that's… Different to what I had expected."
"As you just voiced, I know."
"Did she accept?"
"She did. Though we're waiting a bit to actually carry on with the moving. There are her kids to tell."
"And the Governor." Will knew that but it was still awkward to hear. Diane had always known that he and Peter weren't exactly on buddy terms.
"Right, but I just wanted to tell you. For one you're my friend and I wanted to tell you."
"That was kind of you." She smiled a little sarcastically to him and he couldn't help but return it.
"And secondly, you're my business partner and I'm going to live with someone from an opposing firm. It shouldn't get in the way of things, but it's better to be upfront about it."
"You're right. It's best to let me know of these things." A cheeky smile spread across her face. "Putting business aside, you're definitely ready for this? The both of you?"
"Yes. We're ready, and happy." Will would have paused in the past to think about if he was entirely ready but he already knew that he would be ready for anything when it came to Alicia.
"Then I'm glad for you, Will."
"I was thinking about telling the partners soon too. Just to let them know that it won't affect our work at all."
"That sounds like a good idea to me. Perhaps at the partners meeting on Friday?"
"Definitely. Back to work then." Will stood up and turned to leave.
"Will." Diane called out to him and he spun back around to look at her. "I don't mean to put my foot in it, but… I could see over the years that being with Alicia was something you wanted. Really wanted. So don't screw it up and let her get away again." Will took that in and just gave a calculated nod to his best friend. There wasn't anything he could say back to her so he just went back to his office and thought.
Diane could see it; he had truly wanted this. And though it was never a good time to be with Alicia, he had always wanted it. He would do everything he possibly could to never let her slip away from him again, and he would try his hardest not to screw it up. Of course he already knew this before Diane told him but hearing it from someone who cares about you and who you care about is always better. It sticks in your head more, so Will took it all in. He then picked up his work phone and told his assistant to call Alicia's firm.
"Will, hi." Immediately Will could tell she sounded busy.
"Is this a bad time?"
"No, it's fine. I'm just a little busy but it's okay." He could hear sounds of paper rustling in the background and suspected that she was in a big pile of paperwork which was normal for her.
"I'll be quick anyway. I told Diane." He heard the paper stop.
"You did? What'd she say?"
"She just asked if we were sure about it, and that she is happy for us."
"Good. I'm glad. Did she have concerns about the work side?"
"Not really. Not that I have a lot to tell her. Once we figure that all out I imagine I'll let her know too."
"We do have to sort that out at some point, but I suppose we do have a couple of months to do that." Will knew she was right. They have a lot of time to talk and plan things. It was probably ideal. They were both busy people and that way they could keep things running smoothly as they sorted out details. He did want her to move it almost immediately, but he wouldn't tell her that. It made more sense to wait until it worked out better for her kids. They would always have to come first in her decisions and Will admired that. And though he didn't understand it from a real parental view, he understood it enough.
"Yeah, we've got time. Now let's get back to work. You're busy and I have to be busy too."
"Do you want to stay at my place tonight? I was going to tell Grace and Zach but they have decided to stay with friends tonight. Apparently being home with me is an outrageous concept that neither of them can handle." Alicia blurted out, and Will chuckled. Typical of kids.
"Yeah sure."
"Great."
"I can come by a little after work."
"Sounds good. I'll see you later Will."
"Right, see you later. Oh and I love you." She laughed softly and it brought a smile to Will's face. It was his favorite sound in the world.
"I'll never get tired of hearing you say that. I love you too."
Will knocked on Alicia's door close to 8 that night. He had stayed late at work, like always, and then he had gone home to pick up a change of clothes. Alicia opened it and Will noticed the huge grin on her face. He wondered what had made her so happy, not thinking that it could just be him.
"Hey." She said and stepped back to let Will in.
"Hey." He walked in and dropped his bag and briefcase beside the door. As he brought his attention back to Alicia she stepped forward to him and planted her lips directly on his.
"I'm glad you're here." She said when they eventually pulled apart from each other.
"I gathered that."
"I've made dinner. You have great timing because it's about ready." Will then noticed the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. He didn't know how he had missed it before.
"What are you cooking? It smells delicious." As he watched Alicia walk to the kitchen, Will took off his suit jacket and pulled off his tie. He quickly threw his clothes onto the couch in the living room and went to the kitchen.
"It was a good day at work. Everything went well, even though I was completely stressed throughout the day. Everyone is happy and we're on top of our cases. So I just thought I'd make dinner for us. I got the idea from Colin Sweeney of all people." Will's radar immediately went up. He was probably the last person Will would ask for opinions about dinner, but then again, he did had exceptional taste. He was just a creep with exceptional taste.
"And what has Sweeney suggested then?" Will rested his arms against the island counter between the two chairs. Alicia had her back to Will, stirring whatever the delicious smelling food was at the stove top. He noticed that she already had plates set out on the counter, ready to serve the food. He did arrive just in time then.
"He came to his meeting late today. Not unusual for him really, and he of course had to share why he was late."
"He likes talking to you." Will pointed out, and he knew he was right. Though Sweeney was no longer at his firm he knew he had something weird for Alicia. A lot of people did.
"Yes, and so he told me all about his lunch. Which was less eventful than I thought it would be, but he told me where he had gone and what he ate and though I didn't care to hear about it, it did give me the idea to make…" As she stopped talking she started to serve up the food and Will had an idea of what it could be. "Coq Au Vin." Alicia turned around to Will and placed his plate full of the delicious food right in front of him. She smiled proudly and turned around to place some food onto her own plate. Will looked down and it really did look exceptional. He knew she could always cook but he had rarely gotten to eat the food she had cooked.
"This looks really, really good Alicia."
"I just hope it tastes okay. I found an old recipe in one of the books I have lying around." She walked around the bench and sat down, giving Will a knife and fork. He sat down next to her and took the cutlery. He took a bite of chicken and it instantly melted in his mouth.
"That's painfully delicious." He glanced over to Alicia, who looked extremely happy.
"Good." They continued to eat their food. They spoke about how their day went after they spoke in the morning and Will was a bit envious about how good her day was. He didn't have a lot of good news to report. He had to go through a lot of boring paperwork that didn't mean a lot to him and they had a problem with one of their clients. He had been arrested for possession of cocaine. He appeared to have quite a bit of it in his car, and Will wasn't sure what he could do yet on how to defend him. But as Alicia said, "You'll figure it out. You always do."
As they finished dinner, both of them going back for seconds, Will volunteered to do the dishes.
"I would help you but if we're going to move in together than you should get used to doing dishes alone." Alicia yelled to him from the couch.
"You mean I can get used to doing dishes alone when you have a show on, right?" He chuckled to himself. He knew what she was doing.
"Grace got me into this show. It's surprisingly addictive."
"What's it called?" Will called out.
"Uh, I think Darkness At Noon." Will had never heard of it. Though he does only ever watch sports.
"I don't know what that is."
"Neither do I but I can't stop watching it." Will washed their plates and set them down to dry. There was no use for the dishwasher if it was just them two. He grabbed a cloth and dried his hands and walked into the living room. He bent over the back of the couch right next to Alicia.
"Can I get you anything?" He said softly to her. She twisted around, just enough to see him.
"I'd love some wine. There's some in the fridge." She reached a hand up to his face and pulled him in for a quick kiss.
"Coming right up."
"Oh, and there's some Kit Kat in there too that I would like."
"Sure thing." Will walked back to the kitchen and went to the fridge. He reached for the handle and stopped. He looked at the photos again. He'd noticed them months ago when he had visited, and they were still there. Cute and perfect photos of Zach and Grace as babies. There was one of Grace at a few months old, probably, and one of Zach at most likely a few months old too. Then there was one of the both of them a few years older and what seemed to be a birthday party for Grace. She had a princess tiara on and the biggest smile on her face. Zach looked less impressed by what was happening that day, which made sense. It seemed to be more Grace's day than his.
Will stood there for a while longer; looking at their sweet chubby faces and perfectly smooth baby skin. It reminded him of his niece Zoe. She looked just like Sara when she was young. She was such a perfect little human and Will wished he got to see more of her.
"Will?" He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Alicia call out and opened the fridge. He pulled out the bottle of wine and half a Kit Kat bar. He poured two glasses of red wine and took them, plus the Kit Kat, into the living room.
"What were you doing?" She asked softly, taking the wine glass and chocolate from Will's hand. He paused. He didn't know whether he should just tell her. It wasn't anything important really. He was just looking at fridge photos. But he wanted to tell her anyway.
"I was looking at the baby pictures of Zach and Grace." He said hesitantly. Alicia just smiled sweetly to him.
"They were cute, weren't they?" She asked him.
"Very cute. Looked a lot like you." He sat down on the couch close to her and put his feet up onto the coffee table.
"Grace's hair was just as uncontrollable as mine, if that's what you mean." She laughed and Will joined, remembering how unruly her hair could get.
"Was that at a birthday party of hers? When she was a princess?"
"Yep. I'm so glad I got that photo when I did. Ten minutes afterwards Zach threw a tantrum about not getting as much cake as Grace. He claimed he was older so he should have gotten the biggest piece but it was Grace's party. She got the biggest piece of cake." Alicia quietly laughed to herself, remembering quite distinctly just how mad Zach had gotten.
"Sounds tough to deal with. I used to get the same way when Aubrey would have a birthday. Well, Sara and I would complain that we should have gotten more than her because we were older. My mom would get so frustrated with us but then we just got angrier and eventually sent inside to sulk on our own. It's just a kid thing." Will let out a sigh. He missed his childhood a lot sometimes. It was all a simpler time.
"Do you ever…" Alicia paused, and Will looked to her.
"What?" He asked curiously.
"Nothing. Never mind." She flashed him a quick smile, trying to reassure him it was indeed nothing, but he wouldn't accept it.
"No, tell me." She took in a deep breath.
"Do you ever wish you had done the kid thing?" She asked him softly. Will didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think. Sure, he had thought about having kids from time to time. More often when he was younger but not a lot anymore. Except sometimes when he saw new photos of his niece that Sara would email to him, or when he would look at baby pictures in someone's house he almost felt like he wanted to be a father himself. It was difficult for Will to imagine himself as a dad, but he also liked it. He liked to think about having a son who he could take to baseball games, or even a daughter to just dote upon and treat her like his princess. He'd thought about that sometimes.
"I don't know. Sometimes, I think it could have been nice to have a kid of my own, but I never thought I was entirely cut out to be a dad."
"You'd be an amazing father Will." Will looked into Alicia's eyes. There was a lot of love in them, like always, but he thought he found hints of proudness and sorrow.
"Well it's not really something I could do in my life anyway, so we'll never know." He tried to smile but he just couldn't. Talking about it made him want to be a dad more than he ever thought. Thinking about birthday parties, and cute onesies, and the sweet smell of a baby.
"I'm sorry." Alicia sighed.
"No, you have nothing to be sorry for." Will wondered if Alicia could tell what he was really thinking. Sometimes he knew she could do that, they were just that close, but he hoped she had no clue what he was thinking.
"But I look at you now and I can see that there is a part of you that wants to be a father." She started to sound sad now, and that was the last thing Will wanted.
"I'll admit that there is a part of me that wonder's what it would be like, but there's a greater part that is perfectly happy with how my life is. I've got a strong business, great friends, the perfect girlfriend, even if that does sound very high school." They chuckled softly in time with each other. "You're everything I need and want Alicia. It's all I need."
"I wish I could give you everything you wanted."
"I've got everything. You're everything. I don't need a kid. I've got a niece and that's enough kid for me." He smiled at her then, and she returned it, which made Will feel better.
"Am I really enough for you?" She shuffled her body closer to Will, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"Alicia, you're everything. Sometimes you're too much, but most of the time you're just enough." He slowly placed his lips to hers and kissed her slowly.
He was honest with her. He didn't need to be a father if he had Alicia, but there would always be that small part of him that would want to know what it's like. He wouldn't deny it, but he'd just move on from it and live his life. His wonderful, fulfilling life with his one true love.