AN: So this is a really long chapter. I considered splitting it into two parts but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I hope you all enjoy. :)
And I'm pretty much dedicating this chapter to sportsnightnut because she's been amazing recently!
Will had convinced Alicia to stay at his house on Friday night, much to her reluctance. He had left work earlier than usual and driven to her firm to drag her home with him. Will was quite aware that Alicia would go and meet with Peter in the morning, and though that would probably mean Alicia was in no mood to be her normal and happy self, it didn't mean that Will wouldn't try to calm the nerves he knew were inside of her. She never needed to tell him, he just knew her. They hadn't talked on Friday at all so Will showed up at her offices that afternoon.
"Oh, Mr. Gardner. Are you here to see Alicia?" The receptionist asked him timidly as he stepped out the old elevator. He looked to her and smiled kindly before darting his eyes around to try and spot Alicia.
"Yes. Is she here?" He asked warmly, the smile still on his face.
"She's probably at her desk."
"Okay, thanks." The young woman politely smiled back to Will as he turned and walked in the direction of Alicia's desk. He saw out of the corner of eye that Cary was watching him walk through the office. Will didn't need to look directly at Cary to see how guarded and confused he was looking. Alicia had told him that Cary was happy for her, but that didn't give Cary any less of a reason to not like Will. And Will understood that. They had never had an exchange about he and Alicia leaving the firm. Neither one of them wanted to, and even thought it was unnecessary. He didn't need Cary to like him, not anymore. If Will were to be honest, he would say he didn't like Cary one bit now, but he still admired the kid's teeth in court. He was a strong lawyer, and Will respected that very much.
She had her back turned around as he walked up to her desk so he stood there silently, watching as she went through some files she had spilling over her lap. Even if it was as simple and boring as paper wrangling, Will liked to see her work. As she started to turn slowly in her chair he noticed the incredibly concentrated gaze she had on her face. Which was also something Will liked to see, though he'd never tell her that. She started to look up and jumped in her chair, looking frightened. She placed a hand on her chest and let out a relieved sigh. Will watched and began to smile when saw her own shining smile develop on her face as she looked up to meet his eye.
"You scared me." She said as she moved the paper from her lap to her desk.
"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to disturb you." He sat down in a chair in front of the desk.
"You aren't disturbing me, you're saving me." She joked and laughed softly while looking down at all the paper sitting on the desk and widening her eyes, sighing and bit her lip. Will found her irresistible when she bit her lip.
"Exactly the reason why I'm here." He stated, trying to concentrate on anything but her lips, and how much he'd like to just reach over and kiss her.
"Save me?" She raised her eyebrows and smirked, not fully understand.
"It's the end of the work day. Well," He glanced at his watch. 5.27, "It's the end of the work day for normal people. I thought I'd give us an opportunity to be normal people." He smiled hopefully to her, eager to hear her agree to his crazy offer.
"Will, I have a lot of work to get through still. As you can see." She gestured in front of her to the piles of paper.
"You can finish all that later. I set aside my work, and believe me, I had twice this amount." Which was true. He'd had a lot more case work he had to do by the looks of things and he'd told himself that it could wait. One of the only times he ever has, and he'd only ever do it for Alicia.
"It's important, and Cary might kill me for leaving now."
"It's always important, I know." He leaned in closer to her, resting his arms on the desk to whisper the next bit. "And Cary will have to go through me to get to you." Alicia chuckled softly and leaned in to Will, just the same as he did, so their noses were only inches away from each other, and neither one of them cared that people were looking. They were completely oblivious to the fact.
"Cary wouldn't stand a chance, so I better save him a limb." They looked into each other's eyes with that googly, love filled gaze and smiled like idiots, until Alicia became aware of where they were and Will followed suit. They broke their gaze and pushed off the desk, letting their backs rest on their own chairs.
"See, we've got to get out and spend some time with each other." Will said first.
"Or some time in." She countered, her cheeks flushing a soft pink from embarrassment about their close proximity just now.
"In, out. I don't mind what we do, but we're doing something. Pack your things, and some work, if you must." Will's tone was firm. He wasn't leaving the building without Alicia and he wanted to leave in five minutes.
"I'm serious, Will. I have to work." She tried to give him a smile as a start to apologize but he wouldn't accept it. He stood up, buttoned his suit jacket and crossed his arms.
"I'm not leaving without you, and I think there might be a burger with your name on it at that place you love." That heightened Alicia's interest in leaving. Will could tell she was thinking about the fact that she skipped lunch. Which she often did on a Friday, trying to get a lot of work done by the weekend and start the next week fresh.
He saw in her eyes that she was about to decline again so Will quickly added, "Plus a beer or two." He gave her a sickly sweet smile, probably the best he had in his arsenal.
"Alright. You got me. A burger and beer sounds really good right now." She laughed softly and Will eased his stand, dropping his arms by his sides. "But I'm taking all my work home." Will nodded. He could give her that. She was giving him some well-earned time together. He didn't need to tell her what the reasons behind him whisking her away from work were. He'd know she would have already guessed why the minute he had sat down. But it made for a less stressful night. Alicia's meeting in the morning wasn't mentioned once so it left them to just relax and have some fun, forgetting all about the nerves that would no doubt arise the next day.
Will stood next to Alicia with his arm gently wrapped around her waist when she told Cary he was leaving. Cary looked a little annoyed, but didn't say much since Will was looking defensive. It was only important to him that she had taken work home. Will noted for the millionth time that they all worked too hard, but there was no other way they knew how to work.
Will followed Alicia back to her apartment so she could change into something more comfortable, and more appropriate for a simple burger joint. Will didn't have the same luxury but he didn't mind; he ate there a lot in a suit. They got two sloppy beef burgers with the lot, two bottles of beer, and sat at a table in the corner of the room, casually playing footsie beneath the table. Alicia talked about the kids a lot, and Will was extremely happy to hear about them. She had told him all about their discussion the night before, but now he was hearing about how well Zach did in school and how great he'll go when he goes to college. Alicia talked about Grace and how well she had done in the last year at school, and how nervous she was to go back as a senior. Will was saving all of this information in the back of his head so he'd have things to talk about when (and if) they decided to go to his house to check it out. He was paying closer attention to what Alicia was saying about Zach, because like the teenager had already pointed out, they didn't really know each other, and Will wanted to change that. Mostly for Alicia but a little for himself too.
Will drove them both back to Alicia's apartment, knowing that she'd feel better if she slept in her own bed in her own house. It was still her home and Will loved how much it felt like home to him too, but he knew he'd make his house feel like home eventually. He'd try his hardest because he'd do anything just to make sure Alicia was happy.
Will suggested they watch a movie when they returned and the two of them got comfortable on the couch. Alicia curled into the side of Will's chest, his arm secured tightly around her, and their legs overlapping each other as they rested on the coffee table and a blanket draped over them. It was some stupid action movie that was pretty predictable, but hilarious. If no other reasons than the plot having too many holes, and the star having an idiot of a sidekick. Still, it did the job in distracting Alicia for a while.
And when it was over Will ran her a bath, which he joined her in and washed her hair. They were usually never so affectionate with each other, even though they loved each other to Pluto and back three times over. Neither of them were the type to feel like they had to love each other so much all the time and show it to each other. They didn't need to, the love they had ran so deep into their bones it was just simple to love each other. That's how Will saw it, and he didn't believe it had been any other way for him for years.
Not long after they got out from the bath together, they were fast asleep, clinging to each other as they laid in Alicia's bed, snug and sound.
Alicia had felt slightly sick all morning. From the moment she woke up there was a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She could only associate it to her going to meet up with Peter soon. Will had tried his best to make her feel better about telling him the night before, but clearly the effects of his attempts were only temporary. Those feelings only added to the ones she currently had. Will made such an effort to get her to relax, and it worked perfectly; until she woke up.
She tried to tell herself it was ridiculous she was feeling so nervous about simply going to inform Peter she was moving in with Will, and if Grace wanted to, she would as well. She wasn't sure why she almost screamed it to herself in her head, maybe just to convince herself it was nothing. But it was definitely something, and there was no way of getting it out of her head and stomach. She was grateful for getting a good night's sleep because she was woken up by her body clock at the crack of dawn. Will was snoring softly beside her, and she could only smile at the sound. It never got loud enough to wake her up, but she liked hearing it when she woke up before him.
After ten minutes she slipped out the bed, trying not to wake him. She grabbed her black silk robe from her closet and wrapped herself in it. She'd bought it when she was with Will the first time around. Truthfully, most of the black and silky bedroom gear she owned now had been bought back then, and she was glad she kept most of it. She had stuffed them into the bottom of a drawer years ago but she was finding reasons to bring another one back out and wear it again these days.
She walked silently to the door and quietly opened it. She clicked it shut just as quietly and walked into the kitchen. She switched on the coffee machine and poured herself a glass of water while waiting for the dark brown liquid that would give her a pick-me-up that she desperately needed. With nothing else to do, Alicia leaned against the counter next to the coffee machine and finger brushed her hair. Will had combed it while the conditioner was still in her hair and so it was smooth now. Smooth enough to give it a quick brush and it'd be ready to go, but the incredibly anxious side of her needed something to do and that was the best option.
When she waited as long as she could so she had enough coffee in the pot to pour herself a full mug, Will still hadn't woken up. Usually the smell of fresh coffee would do the trick, but if he wasn't awake yet then he'd just be too tired so Alicia didn't dare disturb him.
It wasn't until an hour later when Will emerged from the bedroom wearing his signature black boxer briefs and white t-shirt. Alicia had situated herself at the kitchen counter with her laptop and some work while she waited out the minutes she had until she needed to start getting dressed.
"Good morning." Will said with a raspy voice, one of Alicia's favorites to hear. He rested a hand on her lower back and kissed her cheek before grabbing a mug and pouring himself some coffee.
"Morning." She said to him, smiling softly.
"You aren't supposed to be doing work." He said and sipped his drink.
"I have nothing else to do."
"How long have you been awake?"
"About an hour."
"Why didn't you wake me?" He asked confused.
"If you didn't wake up when I first made coffee then I wasn't going to go in there and do it myself." She said matter-of-factly and swung her legs around from behind the island bench and stood up. "Hungry?" She asked him as she opened the fridge.
"Not right now. You eat if you're hungry though." She shook her head. Food would not go down well. The nerves in her body were only getting worse and her stomach was not currently her biggest fan.
"Hey." Will's voice behind her was so close and it made her flinch, but then his arms were around her waist and she leaned into him, seeking out the only place she would get true comfort in that moment.
"Thanks for last night. I really needed it." She whispered, knowing there was no point. They were the only two there but it was a lot more calming if they whispered.
"I think I did too, but it was all for you." Alicia tried to remember how relaxed she had felt the night before, trying to bring some of those feelings up now but wasn't exactly successful.
"I should get dressed." She told him, full of regret. Standing in her kitchen with Will's arms around her was a much better way to spend her morning that seeing Peter, but she had to do it.
"Okay." She turned to face him and looked into his eyes.
"You can stay here until I get back if you want." She told him sincerely. It would be the first time Will would be there all alone, but it was yet another step between them, even if she could be moving out of that apartment.
"I was thinking about going to go into the office for a while. Work on some things." She nodded and reached up to kiss him. It felt long overdue and she pressed her lips to his more forcefully than anticipated but Will didn't object. She pulled away from him breathless, smiling like crazy.
"I love you." She said to him.
"Ditto." He said back, and flashed her a cheeky smile. She left him in the kitchen and strolled back to her bedroom.
She dressed in a pair of her black work pants and a softer, more casual gray jacket but still semi-professional and put on her black heels. She applied minimal make-up and styled her hair just a little. As she sat at her vanity mirror rubbing hand cream into her already smooth palms she looked down into one of the little jewelry bowls. She'd taken off her wedding rings months ago, but she had kept them there. Some people threw theirs away, like into the lake, but she couldn't do it. Her marriage meant everything to her for so many years, as did Peter and though that was all different now, she couldn't deny she was happy for a long time back then.
She sat there for five minutes thinking about how it had all changed and how it felt so quick to happen. She found herself a little nostalgic about her life before. Not too much but it showed up in her thoughts, and it wasn't bad to think about. As she slipped on her watch she snapped back into reality. The very real (and truthfully, happier) reality that was probably still drinking coffee in her kitchen. She checked the time. 8.23. She told herself she should leave in about five minutes. She was seeing Peter at 9.
She walked back out into the kitchen and she had been right, Will was sitting down on the stool she had been before drinking his coffee and eating a piece of toast.
"Hey, I'm going to leave in a few minutes." She stood next to him, picked up his toast and took a bite, hoping it would help settle her stomach, but that probably was not going to happen.
"Alright. I'll probably get dressed and head off just after you then."
"Stay a while if you want. Really Will, it's okay. I don't think it should take too long. I'll be back in less than two hours." She smiled reassuringly to him, hoping he would just stay and be there for her when she got back home. Will paused and studied her face.
"If you're sure, then I'll stay." That was what she needed to hear.
"Good. Okay, I'm off." She kissed the corner of his mouth and walked to the front door. She picked up her bag, checking she had the essentials in there (phone, keys, wallet).
"See you in a little while then. Love you." Will called out.
"You too." She said back to him just as she closed the door.
She walked into Peter's offices and though it was Saturday morning it was still as busy as ever. She hated to admit it but she missed visiting Peter there. She was more likely to admit she missed seeing Eli almost as much, which was what she did when he approached her with a radiant Eli Gold smile.
"Alicia!" He called out to her, gesturing to her. Everything felt the same, and she noted how odd it felt. Eli was calling her name, looking happy, holding his phone in his hand like always.
"Morning Eli." She said to him cheerfully. "How have you been?" She asked, genuinely interested. It had been too long since she'd seen him, and she missed him.
"Very good. Things are going well here." He looked around him, and had such a proud look on his face. She laughed softly, knowing he'd start with how work was going.
"No, Eli, how are you doing?" She asked again, and he smiled too vibrantly for him.
"I'm great. Peter's doing a good job, and I'm happy. In fact I'm seeing someone." That was a bit of a shock to the system for Alicia, but she was happy for him. Ecstatic even.
"That's great. I'd glad you're happy. You deserve it." He gave her a look of sincerity she rarely saw from Eli Gold. She put that look in her pocket, not knowing if she'd ever see it again.
"Peter hasn't quite started his day yet so we can go right in." She walked beside him as they neared Peter's office. The door was slightly ajar and she could see him reading some pages he had at his desk. Eli knocked loudly and opened the door wide.
"Peter." Eli said his name and Peter looked up swiftly. His eyes locked into Alicia's and he smiled. She wasn't sure what she was expecting from him but his I'm-happy-to-see-you look was a lovely welcome. He stood up from his desk and walked around it, into the center of the room. Alicia stepped into the room some more, getting closer to him.
"It's good to see you Alicia." He said and she almost felt he stomach leap up into her throat. He looked so happy, and Will had always been the worst topic of discussion between them and here she was, telling him she was probably moving in with him, and having Grace go with her. Suddenly standing in front of him made her terribly aware of the fact that this was a bad idea. She noticed him look towards Eli and give a thoughtful nod to him. She didn't turn around but she heard the door close.
"Hi Peter." She said kindly because she wasn't sure she could be any other way. He gestured to the couch beside him, and she sat down, crossing her legs and dropping her hands into her lap. Peter sat down in one of the chairs across from her, looking very much like the Governor of Illinois, and very much like the Peter she knew well. The two sides of him used to be in cohesion with each other and now they were separate, completely different, and simply abnormal to her.
"How have you been?" He asked her, genuine smile and all.
"Good. Really good, but I'm sure the kids have told you." She was referring to Will, which she regretted after she'd said it but that was why she was there so talking about him now could make it easier when she eventually told him.
"Yes, they've probably told me how things with you seem good." He gave an awkward laugh.
"But how are you doing? Eli seems pleased with how well you're holding the office up."
"He's very happy about it. I'm just doing my job." He could be so modest sometimes, and she missed that about him. She missed a lot of things about him. "Otherwise I'm alright. Nothing is happening much." She was certain that was him telling her he wasn't seeing someone. And she had no right to feel relieved, but that was how she felt. It's less difficult when you're the one in a relationship but seeing your ex-husband find someone else? It wasn't going to be easy going through that when the time came.
"So what brings you to my office?" He said eventually. She doesn't want to say it, but she tells herself to just do it to get it over and done with.
"Will asked me to move in with him." She always has such control over her words, but right now she didn't know how to word it. It was too complicated.
"I see." He looked away from her, and crossed his arms. Never a good sign.
"I just thought I'd let you know, primarily because of Grace." He nodded slowly to her words, thinking carefully. At least he wasn't yelling or shutting down the conversation, Alicia thought.
"So Grace would go with you?" He asked her.
"Yes, if she wants to. I just told her and Zach about it Thursday night."
"And if she doesn't want to?" He asked inquisitively.
"I'm not sure. I'm waiting on her decision. She's thinking it through." She tried to look him in the eye, just to tell him she was sorry but it'll work out okay and everyone will be fine.
"What did Zach think?" The fact that he hadn't shown any sort of full emotion on the fact that Will asked her to live with him concerned her. He is usually very opinionated about Will Gardner, but she also admires that he's was thinking about the kids first.
"Zach is leaving soon anyway, but he seems to think it's alright." She would never tell Peter that Zach wants to get to know Will. That'd tear him apart. No father likes to think he's being replaced, even just a little bit.
They both stay silent for quite a while. Alicia doesn't know what else to say, and she knows Peter doesn't either. The silence is both awkward and not at the same time. There's a familiar feeling of contentment flowing through the room, and she thinks that she misses Peter, again.
"You're happy?" He interrupts her thoughts and this time he looks at her, eye to eye. She starts to think about how truly happy she is, and she smiles.
"I'm happy." She thought about Will and how there's never been anyone like him. Though she hates that Peter couldn't be that man. She married Peter thinking he'd be the one she would live out her days with. She still loves him, which would never change. But somehow she loves Will even more than she ever thought possible and Will makes her happier than she'd ever been.
"I just want you to be happy, Alicia." She nodded at his comment. She knows that.
"Are you happy?" She asked him with concern laced around her voice.
"I'm… I think so." He doesn't sound sure, but she thinks that it's okay to not be sure sometimes. "Two days." He said out of the blue.
"Sorry?"
"Two days. Monday is the day we'll be officially, legally divorced." Her heart dropped a thousand meters below sea level. She forgot. After all the Peter-based thinking she'd been doing, and she forgot Monday was the day.
"That's soon." She said, hoping he couldn't tell she'd forgotten. Even if he picked up on it, he doesn't run with it.
"Yes." He paused, planning his next words. "Can I be honest with you about something?" He asked quickly, looking into her eyes, really asking her.
"Peter, yes."
"I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and I've missed you." She almost stopped him from going on but he raised a hand to hold her off, knowing her move before she'd made it. "I'm not saying this to change anything between us. I'm just being honest with you." She sighed loudly, sinking into the couch behind her.
"I've missed you too…"
She left his office later than she thought she would but she knew it was important to stay. Her and Peter talked some more, him being surprisingly civil through all of the Will talk. She thought that maybe he's just accepted that it's happened and it's going to be the normal now. Will's going to be there and be a part of their kids' lives, and Peter has seemed to grasp that concept rather well. She hugged Peter, and gave a quick hug to Eli on her way out too, with a promise they'll have to stay in touch.
She drove straight back to her apartment but she sat in the car for ten minutes before she went up to Will. There was just so much Peter, being her Peter, and she had to make sure that didn't touch what she had with Will.
She unlocked the front door and walked in sluggishly. She dropped her bag and keys by the door and sighed, relieved to be home.
"Will?" She called out. She saw Wills head pop out from the living room and he looked worried, and a little scared. She furrowed her brow, waiting to hear what he had to say. Before he could say anything Owen stepped out from behind him.
"Hey sis." Even Owen sounded a little anxious, and she knows seeing Owen there isn't even the worst of it yet. She walked towards them both and looked to the couch.
"Oh, hi Alicia." Her mother said in her usual how-could-you-not-talk-about-this-with-me voice, and gives that sweet and completely fake smile she does so well.
"Hi mom."