[NB. Readers, you know I'm all about Team Jelly, but Tilly shouldn't get away with her actions lightly, and she's gonna have to fight harder…]
Accompanying soundtrack: Hesta Prynn – "Can We Go Wrong"
Jen awoke in Jess's bed for the second time, and smiled as she remembered the previous night, and licked her lips at the events of the after club party from the woman lying beside her. She ran a lingering hand down the naked back at the side of her. Her smile turned into a frown equally as quickly when she remembered the earlier part of the evening with Tilly. She was struggling to manage her emotions and wondered how she'd gotten herself caught up in such a situation. Seeing Tilly last night was a completely different experience than the night before, and she couldn't work out if she'd been cruel to Tilly, or just patently honest. She had such a strong physical connection with them both, which she loved and hated equally, it was all pretty confusing. The only thing she did genuinely knew is that she'd never had such good sex.
"So, you two were pretty hot together last night," H's voice rang clear in her ear as Jen opened her front door to see her erstwhile compadre grinning at her.
"There sure as hell is some spark between you, and I'm not sure I've seen it in quite the same way before." H was going to be throwing compliments left right and centre hoping to find out if Jen was going to consider giving Jess a serious chance.
"I have to admit that I'm certainly very drawn to her in… several ways." She breathed out heavily, biting her bottom lip. "I think it's fair to say she's…" she stopped a moment and refocused, "…more experienced than Tilly. Definitely more adventurous, although Tilly seems to be stepping up a gear herself after Friday night." Jen swallowed at the thoughts running through her head, dropping her eyelids and temporarily losing herself in a swathe of blurry images of naked flesh.
"Oh my little Jen, it is all I can do to NOT pursue you for more graphic details of both nights, but I know your prudish nature will prevent you from telling me about the good stuff in any detail. Unless…"
"H, what the hell am I going to do," the exasperated brunette groaned. It was clear that the uncommon situation of trying to juggle two women at once, one of which she was probably still very much in love with, the other of which stirred in her some almost indescribable chemistry.
"Jen, why do you need to DO anything just yet? Why are you not just enjoying the hell out of this? I would be…" H raised her eyebrows questioningly. "In fact, you don't need to do anything AT ALL if memory serves. You're foolishly," she dipped her head in slightly towards Jen, "…waiting for someone elses decision so you can make your own…" she tailed off, hoping a pregnant pause would stir something in Jen.
"I mean, since when do you let other people dictate your life decisions? I've got to be honest, Tilly burnt her bridges a good while back. I wouldn't have wasted an ounce of energy on her because she doesn't deserve it. How could you just go back to something which nearly destroyed you? I don't see a Hollywood happy ending with this one. The nice gays in the film always die, or break up. Where's mean Jen just looking out for herself…" She leaned in and whispered, "I like mean Jen." H was spouting some harsh words and Jen was struggling to listen, because she just didn't want to hear the truth.
"I'm Team Jen. Babe, I'm always Team Jen," H continued, but slightly softened of voice, "…I don't pick a favourite because it's not my choice to pick, but if you twisted my arm…." She dropped her head slightly and fixed her stare to Jen, "… If you twisted my arm I'd enjoy the pain for a while, and then I'd pick Jess."
Jen didn't want to hear it, but she had no choice. H put forward a simple argument. Into her head again crept images of Tilly and Esther together.
"Seeing them out last night…." Jen frowned, "Well it was just fucking weird. I can't watch them, together, be around them. It just doesn't sit right with me – and technically I'm cheating on Jess. Even though we've not put any definitions around ourselves and we've only had like 3 dates, I'm not starting things on the right foot with her, and I don't think that's fair. And Tilly is cheating on Esther, best intentions of an easy let down or not. What the hell is that about?"
"Do you know if Jess is seeing any one else at the same time?" H asked the million dollar question, knowing Jen wouldn't have talked to her about this, trying to subtly point out that it's not cheating if you've not defined the relationship - whatever it was that their relationship was.
"That's not really the kind of thing I tend to discuss with people early doors. It smacks a little too much of 'I want to own you from day 1' , and how can anyone expect to have that chat without seeming like a bunny boiler?" Jen looked back, trapped by the comment, and raised her hand to rub her head behind her ear, before resting her cheek on her hand.
"So… looking at this objectively," H started, "You and Jess are currently having undefined and therefore non-exclusive, no-strings dates and hot, hot sex. You are also having defined non-exclusive, but emotional dates and getting-hotter-sex with Tilly."
"I've no idea how you managed to summarise that into one sentence," Jen said, shaking her head, breathing out and blowing up the hair in her fringe.
"Jen, the long and the short of it is that you're too early in the relationship to 'define' with Jess and Tilly has made it quite clear she's still with Esther. So… ," and she looked her friend straight in the eye, "why do you give a damn?"
"I don't know," Jen frowned, trying to work out why she actually did.
"Hun, if the tables were turned with Tilly – she was single, of sorts, and you weren't, do you think she'd just wait around for you to ditch your current squeeze in favour of her? I mean a little extra-curricular mashing of private parts is all well and good, but we're talking relationships here. Not to mention the fact she's going to be feeling guilty cos she's fucking you whilst she's still with Esther. If I were you – thank God I'm not – I'd be having nothing to do with her til Esther is completely out of the picture. In fact, if it were me, I'd bin Tilly completely and concentrate on that luscious little hotpants bar wench," and she licked her lips lasciviously.
"She is hot, I'll give you that, but it can't just be that simple though, can it," Jen didn't want to accept that she could make a choice, even though she could, because at the moment she wanted them both, for different reasons.
"Actually Jen," H said, grabbing hold of her right hand with her own, "it's the simplest thing in the world. "You have nothing to lose with Jess, so that should be your choice." Jen looked crestfallen. "Babe, sharing Tilly is no good for you, history or not. You can't live your life in second place waiting for the phone to ring. And in the meantime there's a gorgeous carnal smörgåsbord waiting for you," raising a single eyebrow and pouting a little.
"You would say that though, you're 'Team Jess' Jen sneered a little.
"Let me tell you, babe, if you're NOT Team Jess, then let her off the hook and give me her number, because I'd be all up in that cooch in a heartbeat! She's waay too good to waste!" Jen found H's comments typically distasteful, but it was dawning on her that Tilly was the same age as Jess, and that their history aside Jess was an equally exciting prospect, if not better. Jen took a swig of her drink and wondered if H was right afterall.
"Ok, final comment…" H was getting tired of trying to convince Jen and wanted to change the subject. "You know what to expect out of a relationship with Tilly. Don't you want to try someone different, even if it's just for short while? You might be missing out on the greatest thing because you're afraid to leave aside your comfort blanket. It's time to change the bedding and put that manky blanket to one side – out of reach." H looked serious, and was challenging Jen's thoughts every second. Jen sighed again.
"I need to stop this with Tilly, don't I? I need to make her choose, and then I'll decide if I want that choice." Jen looked sad, speaking the words out loud that she knew to be the truth.
"IF she chooses you - She might not…." H was playing devils advocate, and ever the realist.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, you shit."
"Just being realistic babe. If she's too chicken shit to dump her outright, she might not have the balls to do it at all. Ever." She squeezed her on the shoulder, and stood up to make another drink.
Jen was effectively left with Hobson's choice.