Pulling into a first row parking space in the mostly empty parking lot, Jane cut the engine and took a few minutes to collect his thoughts. While he didn't think it was anything all that important, he was mildly surprised Lisbon wanted a private meeting with him at all. These days, their relationship was very public. As they both wished it to be. While they still worked as closely together as they always had, true intimacy was off limits. They didn't do that anymore. Not like they had once upon a time. Certainly nothing like when they were having their much too brief "fling." Jane gave a credible Lisbon snort. That was her word for their liaison. Not his.

He wasn't stupid enough to label what they'd had so foolishly.

Settling his disinterested mask firmly in place, he opened the door and unfolded from the car seat. Gathering his thoughts, Jane glanced over at Lisbon's empty vehicle and realized she must already be inside the diner placing their order. It wasn't like they had that long before they had to be back at the office and it had taken him longer to get here than normal thanks to a minor accident. Delays aside, their impromptu luncheon needed to follow a fairly tight schedule. Deciding to move things right along, Jane headed for the empty table they'd chosen as theirs a long time ago. Dropping into one of the comfortable chairs, he turned his attentions towards locating Lisbon.

Glancing inside, he saw that she was indeed standing at the counter getting ready to bring their tray. While the polite part of him dictated he should at least open the door for her, the part that was still displeased with the woman recognized the door was easily opened and closed. All she had to do was give it a little push with her hip. She'd done just that a million times over the years in similar situations.

Changing his mind as Lisbon walked towards him, Jane decided to be enough of a gentleman to rise and take the tray from her. Setting it on the table, he watched Lisbon settle into the chair beside him. Emptying the tray, he handed her the paper lined basket filled with whatever specialty burger she'd ordered this week accompanied by homemade Cole Slaw and a generous serving of crispy fries. He thought it was probably the Jalapeno Buffalo Ranch Burger she liked so well from the faintly spicy scent he detected. Watching her take a sip of her favorite homemade cherry lemonade, Jane set his basket in front of his place before carrying the tray over to the bin by the trashcan.

Stopping to stare at Lisbon's back for a moment, Jane wondered yet again why she'd wanted this meeting. He hoped she didn't want to reconcile. Not that he was under any illusions she did. He wasn't. He just hoped she didn't anyway. He hadn't been the one to walk away. She had. For no good reason he could fathom except the intensity of their relationship was getting more than she wanted to handle. Well, there was more to it than that; but, he didn't really want to rehash reality. He much preferred his personal spin.

It was a whole lot easier to swallow.

Truthfully, there was a whole lot more to their demise that couldn't be laid anywhere but squarely at his front door. However, he wasn't going there. The situation was far easier to tolerate when he played it his way.

Blamed their sad ending on Lisbon rather than embracing his fair share of the blame.

So, continuing in that vein, Jane willingly admitted she'd been fine as long as they'd kept things sensual and easy…More companionable and sexual than gut wrenchingly emotional…But, he'd wanted more and pushed for just that fast and hard...Maybe a little too hard…When their relations had taken an obvious turn towards permanence, Lisbon had eventually balked as he'd half way expected her to. It was her standard M.O. in a couple of prior relationships he knew of…However, she'd reacted differently with Pike…Very differently…She'd rolled with it and fallen for the man to the point she'd come far too close to leaving with him…And he'd let that happen right in front of his eyes.

Jane couldn't believe he'd been so stupid.

After years of subtly protecting his territory, he'd foolishly forgotten the lesson he'd learned from Mashburn, miscalculated, and almost lost her for good…Lisbon had fully embraced the real deal before realizing she couldn't go through with it…She'd truly loved Marcus…She had…Fortunately, she'd realized in the nick of time that while she loved Pike, she didn't love him nearly enough…Not enough to give up her independence and leave everything and everyone that she knew behind….

He'd never been so appreciative of small blessings in his life.

Jane expelled the breath he'd been holding. While he'd been reasonably sure Pike would never last, he'd almost lost that bet. Things weren't going his way at the end and he wasn't too egotistical to admit it. He'd eventually given in to the not so subtle nudging he'd been getting from interested parties and sacrificed his pride. He'd let Lisbon know he didn't want her to go. Whether he showed it openly or not, he cared for her, he cared deeply, and he cared like that.

Her emotions had done the rest.

She'd elected to stay and he'd wisely given her time to clear her head and get over the heartbreak before he'd made his very unmistakable move. He'd been mildly surprised when she'd stated in no uncertain terms she'd been wondering how long he was going to take to act… Or if she was going to have to do it for him…Things had heated up quickly from there and neither of them had put the brakes on.

They'd just continued pursuing what was between them as though being together was the most natural thing in the world. Perhaps it was since they'd both felt the same. Lisbon hadn't seemed particularly bothered he'd assumed control of their relationship. She'd let him do as he pleased up to a point as she always had. When he crossed the line, she'd said her piece and he'd responded appropriately for the most part.

Or he had until they reached the point where it really mattered.

He'd been playing for keeps and he'd almost made it. He should have known things weren't going to go as smoothly as he'd planned. They rarely did. Unfortunately, he miscalculated a move with devastating results. One he should have foreseen and rectified. But, he hadn't and his misstep had given Lisbon just cause to entertain those pesky second thoughts long before he'd completely sealed the deal.

He could now admit his blind stupidity had cost him dearly.

Like the thoughtless, overzealous bastard he sometimes was, he'd pulled a move reminiscent of the old Jane in the name of the game without warning Lisbon. It wasn't like he'd had a whole lot of choice. If he'd hesitated, the bad guys would have gotten away. He couldn't let that happen. He was one of the good guys and that was what good guys did. They caught the bad guys. They didn't let them get away.

However, in this instance, it was in his best interest to let them.

As it was, his actions hadn't gone over well…Not at all…Lisbon hadn't cared he'd been forbidden from telling anyone he was going undercover…She'd been royally angry he'd taken that to include her…Since when had he ever listened to the higher ups?...If that wasn't bad enough, add the fact he'd been off the radar for almost three days…His secret lover and the rest of the team had been frantic.

While he'd gotten the bad guys in the end, he'd irreparably damaged Lisbon's trust yet again. It hadn't taken Cho's telling him he put the "ass" in "dumbass" for Jane to realize he might never get the smelly stuff off the bottom of his shoe. The truly sad thing was Kimball, like everyone else, hadn't known they were involved. Abbott probably suspected it; but, they hadn't given anyone the proof to hang them with. The Korean Agent had merely been referring to their friendship and partnership of so many years.

It didn't help the bad guys he'd rounded up had been really, really bad. As in remorseless, Cartel hit men monsters who decapitated their still screaming victims for fun. If anyone doubted the screaming part, all they had to see the photographs of the wide open mouths frozen in silent agony. It didn't take an FBI Agent to realize the final thoughts going through their heads had nothing to do with praying and everything to do with that machete heading their way. Not that Jane needed the reinforcement. He'd witnessed one of those murders in the flesh.

He still had trouble getting that visual out of his head.

But, none of that really mattered. All Lisbon cared about in the end was the three days of hell he'd put her through when she'd fully expected to find his head among the dead and dying. She'd looked worse than she had when he'd dropped down beside her on that Church pew a good six months into his furlough to Vegas. He'd felt bad for putting her through all of that even if it was for the greater good. Lisbon hadn't thought "feeling bad" was enough. It had taken her a couple of weeks to get her head back on straight the duration of which she'd barely spoken to him much less anything else.

However, in true Lisbon style, she'd eventually forgiven him and their relationship had gotten back on track.

He'd thought they were out of turbulent waters until he'd done something stupid without thinking and spooked Lisbon yet again. She didn't care he'd only gotten winged on the bicep. He'd acted too much like the old, reckless Jane he'd promised never to be again and taken unnecessary risks he shouldn't have taken.

To say she was angry was a massive understatement.

If he'd thought they'd navigate through this storm as they had the last, he'd gotten a rude awakening. Unfortunately, it took two to tango and Lisbon chose to abruptly end their dance. She'd let him know in no uncertain terms she was in too deep for his usual crap and she couldn't do it anymore. She'd rather end it now than go through the nightmare of watching his arrogant stupidity get him killed. So she'd done just that. Cut her losses so fast it made his head spin.

She wasn't about to be a widow before ever saying "I do."

Months later, Jane was still convinced she'd screwed up in dumping him. He would have changed if she'd given him that one final chance. The thrill of the game was nothing compared to having Lisbon in his life and it had nothing to do with sex. Well, maybe a little; but, not that much. He realized that now and he was sorry. Maybe he'd taken a bit too long to realize her tolerance threshold for his shenanigans wasn't nearly as high when they were sleeping together as it was when they weren't. He knew it now.

Just as he knew his thoughts on the matter weren't entirely rational.

He shouldn't be blaming Lisbon for the mess they'd made since he was ultimately to blame for their breakup; but, he did. He couldn't help it. He was still mad as a wet hen about the whole situation. It didn't matter whose fault it was. Lisbon shouldn't have left. Not without talking things through. She should have stayed and fought for what they had. It was that important. He'd had no intention of going anywhere and he wasn't ever pulling another stunt like the last one he had.

Even if the Governor had given him accolades for tightening the noose on some of the deadliest degenerates in the U.S. of A.

He no longer had a death wish and getting winged had driven his mortality home. He was happy to stay on the sidelines and let the real Agents confront whizzing bullets as he usually did. From his perspective, getting shot wasn't all that fun. Besides, he had too much to live for. He finally understood Lisbon was more important than all the mind games and accolades in the world.

It didn't matter he was a little late in figuring that out.

But, no, Lisbon wasn't about to play by the unspoken rules they'd always observed. She'd known better than giving him an opportunity to change her mind. She'd played her cards wisely and forced his hand by refusing to talk. She'd efficiently shut down his arguments and stuck to her guns instead. He'd had no choice but to let her go so he had. To his disbelieve, she'd never turned back as she walked out the door.

She'd continued looking straight ahead.

Jane hoped Lisbon hadn't suddenly realized she'd made a mistake. That she didn't want a second chance. If she had, that was just too bad. Two could play her game. He couldn't do it again and he wouldn't. Losing her the first time had broken his heart. That second fiasco had nearly killed him. Their aborted one night stand a few weeks ago had finished him off. He simply wasn't interested in getting back on that merry-go-round for a fourth encounter.

Not now that he'd finally decided he was over her.