[NB, this chapter is ridiculously NSFW & graphic as I got waay too carried away writing it (meh, semi-autobiog). I genuinely thought for a long time about whether to publish it or not, but what else would I do with it…? You've been warned...]
Accompanying soundtrack: Stereo MCs – "Deep Down And Dirty"
Jen spent most of the next day with a smile on her face. She felt generally better, although she could have done without the beer-grizzle grumbling in her head. She had looked forward to the evening more than anything she could think of recently, and when she arrived with Tilly at the park it was quiet, although there was a light wind which provided a slight chill. They strolled round the park, encountering several owners and their dogs out for walks, one particularly striking tall woman with a bunch of sleek brown Daschunds trotting past them in pack formation. The ducks were all grumpy, in an eternal war with their co-resident geese over who would win the battle for the bread. It was peaceful enough to sit on a bench and watch squirrels dart around on the grass and in the bushes in front of them, playfully bounding from side to side.
"It's the thrill of the chase," Jen suggested, "who will win The Nuts. My money's on the one with the squinty eye."
The light had just started to fade when they headed back to the car, hand in hand. Jen kicked the fallen leaves that weren't quite yet compacted underfoot, as more fell from the branches above. Tilly dragged her heels and lingered back a little. Jen turned to look at her, a little worried by her lagging. Tilly smiled, and reached for Jen's other hand, drawing the pair together, before sliding her hands round Jen's back
"Every time I think of us, this is how I'll imagine it. No matter how hard life can get, it's moments like these which make it all worth it. It's perfect." She pulled Jen in for a soft, delicate kiss and they stood for a while in their embrace, lost in the moment. The light breeze picked up a little more, swirling leaves around their feet.
They walked back to Jen's car. As Jen started the engine, Tilly placed her hand on Jen's knee, inobtrusive enough to not impede driving, but necessary to draw security from.
"I wish this Esther thing was resolved," Tilly said quietly. "I want to shake it from my mind but I can't." She didn't want the guilt to hang over her any more.
"Tilly, this is out of your control. You have to stop thinking you can fix things. Sometimes we just can't and you have to let whatever happens, happen." Jen looked lovingly into Tilly's eyes. "I love you, will you trust me that this will work itself out please."
Jen opened her front door, and held it open for Tilly to enter first. She sighed internally as her short girlfriend walked in past her looking a mixture of happy but forlorn.
"I'm just going to go and change into my pyjamas," Jen said, looking at Tilly. "Then we can snuggle on the couch. I have some spare if you want some."
Tilly smiled, and watched Jen as she walked up the stairs before following up herself. Tilly sat on the bed and watched Jen as she changed.
"Such an awful lot of pretty right here in front of me," Tilly complimented. "I sure am one lucky lady." She watched as Jen pulled her top over her head, and the material flowed down her body.
Jen perched on the edge of the bed with her arm around Tilly's shoulders. She took stock of the room and remembered something.
"I want to try something, will you indulge me?" Jen looked at Tilly with questioning eyes, which seemed to contain an impish sparkle, and she pouted her lips. "I promise everything I do will be for your pleasure."
Tilly swallowed, intrigued by the undefined proposition, but smiled to herself as she could only imagine what lay before her. The trust between them didn't need to be spoken of, as there was no question it was absolute.
"If you wish to worship me," she said, and lifted Jen's head up with two fingers under her chin, to align with her own, "I am unable to refuse." She smiled, unknowing but without care.
Jen pulled a wooden chair into the middle of the room.
"Sit on this chair," she ordered quietly, but sternly. Tilly's eyes grew wider as she stood, walked over to the chair and then sat herself slowly down. Jen reached into her pocket and took out a silk scarf. She placed it over Tilly's eyes, tying the silk into a bow at the back, lightly enough to not squeeze, but secure enough to remain in place as required.
"You don't need to see - you only need to feel. The eyes draw pleasure away from the other senses." Jen's voice was clear and focussed. She wanted Tilly to understand this was all for her, and that her mind alone could allow her to travel to places not yet dreamed about. Jen moved in front of Tilly, and reached down to the bottom of her t-shirt and lightly started to pull it up over Tilly's head. Tilly made endeavours to assist but Jen softly hissed, "don't help me."
She then knelt down and removed Tilly's trousers. Tilly did as she was asked, and as her clothes were discarded onto the floor she felt a small shiver of cold as she sat, vulnerable on the hard wooden seat. She had felt every touch of Jen's hands, but she wasn't clear why she wasn't lying on the bed until Jen spoke again. Appreciating but realising the cold on her buttocks, Jen folded a towel, took Tilly's hand, slowly encouraged her to rise, and slid it on to the chair seat, before letting her sit back down again.
"Put your arms behind the back of the chair," she commanded again, the words uttered into Tilly's left ear as she now stood beside her, but still soft and without force. Tilly let out a small gasp, but obediently did as she was asked, as Jen again reached into her pocket and took from it the soft belt from her bath robe. She moved to tie it around Tilly's hands, and Tilly reacted to her touch, the square of the wooden strut slightly pushing into her skin as Jen secured them in place around the chair. There was little free movement, but it wasn't uncomfortable.
"Does that feel alright? This is not about pain," brushing her hands over Tilly's arms as she asked the question which would expect the answer of no. Tilly shuddered slightly at the light touch Jen was employing onto her skin.
"Unexpected, but I have no complaints." The lack of sight had already raised her senses significantly, just at the thought of what may come, and the subtle restraint - which Tilly had never partaken in before, added an entirely different level of expectation.
"So... This is new," Tilly searched to identify the inspiration for this afternoon's little game. Sitting on the chair she felt a little helpless, and not sure if an engaged conversation was part of the plan. To give up control would be hard. Jen moved to stand behind her.
"Something I've had kicking around my head for a while. The thoughts I could tell you about would make you blush! And You..." Jen licked her lips as she paused and ran a light finger over Tilly's shoulder and down her back, "...you like to be in control too much. That's the redhead wanting to be in charge. This might allow you to change your perspective a little. Pleasure levels any playing field."
The confidence Jen had in her voice was enthralling, enhanced by the hot breath Tilly could feel on her ear and neck. Jen again felt Tilly react to her touch, with a mixture of cold, surprise and anticipation, and she kissed Tilly lightly on the back of her neck, as she did she noticed Tilly's hairs standing on end. Even with the blindfold on, Tilly closed her eyes at the light touch on her skin, Jen's fingertips once again tracing a line down her neck and back. Jen playfully tugged to the robe belt secured around Tilly's wrists, as she moved round to stand in front of her.
"It's only fair that if you're naked, then I should be too." Tilly was thoroughly disappointed she couldn't see what was happening before her, she could only hear the rustling of fabrics and occasionally she could smell Jen's perfume. And then, after what seemed to take forever, she felt the brush of skin against her thigh, and Jen ran her hands over Tilly's legs.
"Such soft and beautiful skin. So enticing to touch and hold." Tilly again flinched at the initial touch, but relaxed into it almost immediately. Jen allowed her hands to wander gracefully up from Tilly's thighs to her waist, a hand on each side smoothly curving round the contours, tickling Tilly slightly who let out a small laugh. Hearing the sound drop from Tilly's lips, she placed a gentle but firm kiss on them.
"What are you laughing at, Miss Evans?" Jen practically whispered into her mouth, lips brushing together all the while, moving herself in as close as she could.
"Your touch tickled me. I wasn't expecting it." Tilly sighed a little and Jen moved her hands up further still.
"You're not to expect anything. Don't think about what's happening, don't think at all. Just feel." and Jen pushed her lips firmly back on to Tilly's. The kiss was broken for a second and Tilly raised her head slightly, searching for Jen, until she sensed her right in front of her, and Jen straddled her legs and sat gently on her lap. Her arms tucked underneath Tilly's as she was drawn into an enveloping embrace, their lips met once again, and Tilly could feel Jen's breasts pressing against her own chest, her nipples firming. She wanted to raise her own arms so much to wrap them around Jen, but as she tried the soft restraints around her wrists reminded her of the impossibility.
Jen moved her mouth to Tilly's neck, she lightly kissed, gentle nibbles, hot breath cascading over Tilly's shoulders, and the sudden rush of warmth made her give another little shiver. Jen moved her hands to Tilly's shoulders, and ran them slowly down until she was cupping the firm breasts in front of her. Tilly let out a light "ummf" as Jen rolled tilly's nipples between her nimble fingers, tweaking and toying, darting the pressure of her touch between the edge of pleasure and pain. Tilly's nipples were now fully erect, standing happily to full attention at Jen's continued attentiveness. Jen moved her left hand back up to caress Tilly's face and re-engaged their lips, powerful kisses now flew between the two as Tilly's arousal continued to heighten, and Jen became more forceful with her tongue.
Again she tried to move her arms and couldn't. She growled a little in annoyance.
"I want to touch." Jen tweaked Tilly's nipple hard enough to force a small whimper from her. Jen traced her tongue along Tilly's lips, and finished with a gentle bite on her lower lip.
"You don't get to touch with your hands. You haven't earnt the right to yet," Jen whispered, in a tone which might have seemed menacing had she not been fully naked and straddling her obviously aroused girlfriend. She forced her tongue back into Tilly's mouth, eagerly received, but only momentarily. She withdrew her mouth and sat upright on Tilly's lap, finally releasing Tilly's well worked nipple with a slight sigh. The positional difference in their bodies became apparent as Jen pushed her breasts into Tilly's face, allowing one of her nipples to lie on Tilly's lips, and gently she moved her body so it inched along them.
Tilly was in the final approach, her thrusts more intense, more focused, her moans filling the room. Jen was awash with lust and fervour, her mind racing with the heated exchange, every inch of her completely enveloped in the moment.
"You do get to touch with your mouth, though," and without hesitation Tilly took Jen's nipple firmly into her mouth, flicking her tongue over it, rolling and nibbling it between her teeth. Her eyes still covered, all she could do was feel her way round with her mouth, her brain was doing all the graphic imagining, the thought of the image before her somehow almost being made greater than the real thing. Muffled sounds pleasure escaped from Jen's lips at the activity taking place below her, as she pushed her other breast into Tilly's waiting mouth for the same treatment.
"A little harder," Jen uttered as she slid her hands down to the curve of Tilly's hips, her fingers gripped on to the slender waist under her fingers, a silent gasp escaping from her lips. She could feel the fire within her core, the ache that she knew Tilly would also be experiencing.
Jen arched her back, eventually she released her breast from Tilly's wet and hungry mouth, a sad sob echoing from her until Jen filled Tilly's mouth once again with her own. She slid her hand down from Tilly's waist to the waiting warmth between her legs. Jen could almost feel the heat pouring from her, pouring from them both, their sources of ultimate pleasure mere centimetres from each other. Lightly, Jen ran her fingers along Tilly's folds, her wetness undeniable, a slippery, slick sensation met her wandering fingers. Tilly inhaled sharply at the touch.
To Tilly's confusion Jen immediately broke their kiss and stood up, the blindfold affording her no clue as to why. Jen walked to the bed and grabbed a pillow and dropped it on the floor in front of Tilly before she dropped and knelt on it. She placed her hands on Tilly's thighs once more and looked up towards her face, seeking a response and slightly startled her willing captive. She licked her lips in anticipation.
"You are so beautiful," Jen said softly. Just looking at you gives me shivers. And to see you here, helpless in front of me, betrayed by your desire..." Jen ran her finger over Tilly's beckoning moistness again, feeling Tilly quiver at her touch and again licking her lips at the thought of the taste awaiting her..."it's almost more than I can take. My patience is exhausted," and in a swift movement she parted Tilly's legs with the hands that were still resting on her thighs and pushed her face deep within. Jen wrapped her arms around Tilly's back, grasping onto her buttocks as she tried to pull her in closer. The robe belt on Tilly's wrists keeping her firmly in place Jen was forced to move herself forward to events the place she adored. Jen's tongue and lips grazed against the sensitive skin, Tilly's aroma of arousal nothing short of intoxicating as Jen inhaled deeply, her mind swimming with the imminent gratification, allowing her tongue to gently lap around, searching and tasting the inviting wetness that flooded onto her tongue. Tilly could do nothing but moan at Jen's touch, and Jen felt herself melt at the sound of unfettered enjoyment from the woman quaking at her touch.
Jen broke contact to place small kisses up the length of Tilly's thighs, Tilly's quiet begging and pleading moans suggesting an immediate need for Jen to return, the hot breath against her so intimate and arousing, her own breath quickened as Jen returned with her tongue, and Tilly began to move her hips a little with the momentum. Jen flicked her tongue around a little more, until she finally took Tilly's clit in her mouth and delicately sucked as Tilly jumped a little at the sensation, feeling the energy pulsing through her still tried to push herself further into Jen. She began to squirm a little, a pleasurable squirm but restricted by her inability to move fully, which only sought to urge Jen on even more. The feeling of Jen's tongue running up and down her was exquisite, as she finally dipped in to the source of the wetness, causing even more reaction, Tilly bucked her hips as much as possible against Jen's face as she searched her tongue around in the most sacred of places, moaning and groaning as the pleasure continued to roll over her in increasingly greater waves.
"Uhmmff fuck, oh my god!" As often happened when Tilly was in such a state, a slew of profanity fell from her lips, which Jen found unbelievably erotic, knowing Tilly's subconscious carnal self was in control. Jen was slowly losing the battle with her personal carnal desires, feeling her own wetness slowly escaping from between her legs, her whole being consumed in pleasing Tilly, in delivering unimaginable pleasure.
Interspersed with regular returns to delight Tilly's clit, Jen was wholly consumed by her actions, feeling tilly's responses below her, but also her own overwhelming desire which as much as she wanted to fight against would have to wait.
Jen groaned and purred with delight, the situation unfolding exactly as she'd planned, Tilly helpless and begging at her touch.
"I want to look at you as you come," Jen growled, eyes aflame with obsession, and she reached around with her free hand and released the knot of the silk scarf allowing it to graze Tilly's shoulders as it felt silently to the floor, desperate to watch Tilly's eyes as she came. Jen pushed her shoulders under Tilly's legs, raising them off the floor in an attempt to seek a position where she could engage eye contact during her final onslaught. This made the sight of Tilly even more accessible in front of her and without hesitation she pushed her face back into the aching wetness, her final and most passionate actions, equally rough and gentle forced Tilly past the point of no return, and she came hard and fast as Jen looked in to her eyes, she fought to keep them open as the intensity of her orgasm told hold, throwing her head back at one point until Jen dug her fingers into Tilly's leg and she dropped her head to reconnect their eye contact once more. Jen continued to lick and suck, swirling her tongue around to ensure the pleasure waves continued as long as possible.
Once she knew Tilly was truly spent and completely sated, she slowed the pace gently until finally she finally released her mouth from Tilly, who was panting hard, gasping for breath, slumped in the chair, hands still bound behind her. Heavy legs shaking, which were still draped over Jen's broad shoulders. Jen lowered herself to release Tilly's legs so she could steady herself on the floor. She stood up and again sat herself down on Tilly's lap, lavishing kisses upon her still gasping mouth, playfully stealing her air. Pulling herself in closer, Jen slid her hands around the back of the chair and undid the belt that had held Tilly to ransom so effectively.
"It's good not to be in control sometimes, and to surrender yourself to the unknown," Jen fixed her gaze on Tilly, staring with seductive, twinkling eyes.
Tilly's arms were stiff as she finally brought them round to embrace Jen, but it was short lived as Tilly forced her hand down between the middle of them, searching for the wetness that she knew was sitting in her lap. As she touched Jen she realised just the effect she'd had on her, hot juices running down the inside of her thighs. Jen could manage only a deep moan initially, which was followed with a strained utterance.
"You do... this to me... I can't control myself... Around you." Jen's breathing was shallow, and as the heat rose within her, Tilly pushed a furiously powerful kiss into her and Jen finally came, letting out an almost deafening shout into Tilly's ear, Tilly could feel her fingers being clenched tightly. Having been made to wait on the edge so long and the sheer concentration needed to hold back her own release had all been dropped the instant Tilly touched her. Jen gripped her arms firmly round Tilly, digging in her nails a little, holding on, trying to stay conscious as she drowned in the pleasure as her legs wanted to give way beneath.
Eventually, Tilly forced Jen up, and pushed her over to the bed, where they both slumped down, breathing heavily, beads of sweat riven across their faces, in no rush to recover. Facing each other they clung on tightly, Tilly's head nestled into the crook of Jen's shoulder. Wrapped in each other's arms, relishing in the unspoken bond between them, listening only to the sounds of breathing.