[Writers block is pounding my arse hard right now. I'm working through it slowly...]
Accompanying soundtrack: It Bites – "Calling All The Heroes"
Jen woke to the sound of her alarm the next day, realising it was 7am and Tilly was still there. They'd both fallen soundly asleep within minutes of each other, completely drained by their amorous activities. Jen pushed Tilly gently hoping she'd be able to rouse her without too much effort.
"Tills, I have to be at work in an hour, are you going to wake up sweetie?"
Tilly mumbled incoherently and pulled the duvet higher over her ears. Jen sighed and slipped out of bed. It was obvious she needed a shower.
When Jen returned to the bedroom Tilly was still hunkered down under the duvet, although clearly awake, as upon Jen's re-entry into the bedroom she stirred and popped her face up. She watched Jen drying off, a vision of unclothed beauty momentarily loitering in front of her, long damp hair lightly sticking to her shoulders.
"I would wake up to this every day if I could. There is nothing more rousing than the sight that is currently in front of me." Tilly smiled and sighed lightly, gazing at brunette, her mind wandering between the Jen she could see right now, and the Jen she couldn't see last night. Jen smiled back at Tilly, noticing the slight gaze in her eyes, and picking up on the obvious reminiscing.
"As much as I'd love that," she paused and smiled, continuing to towel her hair, "I'd probably be late for work every day because I wouldn't want ever to get out of that bed." Fixing her gaze firmly on to Tilly, Jen licked her lips playfully. "Are you getting up, or should I leave you here? I can drop you off at yours on my way to school."
Tilly groaned, but pushed back the covers. She rubbed her face with her hand, and back through her tousled hair. She walked over to the window, and peering through the curtains observed the most regular of Manchester sights, a grey sky and pouring rain.
"I don't want to, but I'd rather grab a lift than walk in the filthy weather out there." She searched on the floor for last nights discarded clothes, wondering why they were strewn so randomly around the room.
"Ok, I'm going to make some coffee, I'll have one waiting for you when you come downstairs." Jen stopped for a minute, leaning on the door frame, her turn to watch Tilly get dressed, albeit in a much less co-ordinated manner due to her sleepy state. "If you like when I get home tonight I'll make some drawer space for you so you can keep some clean clothes here. I guess there's more likelihood of you staying here than me staying at yours."
Jen slowly withdrew herself out of the room and headed downstairs. She liked the thought of there being some of Tilly's stuff at her house. The idea that there would be small reminders of her in the house was comforting, but also would make the fact that they were back together that little more real. It gave it visibility.
Jen dropped Tilly off on her way to work, leaving her with a lingering kiss and a firm reminder of what they meant to each other. Tilly stood and watched Jen drive away smiling, mostly because she wanted to keep her in sight for as long as possible, but a small part still not really wanting to go back inside. As Tilly unlocked the front door she hadn't expected anyone to be up, but Callum was sitting on the sofa, glued to GTA V.
"Evening," he grinned, not really taking his eyes off the screen.
"It's morning! Have you been up all night?" she asked incredulously.
"Uh, shit, really. I lost track of time a bit!" Callum remained quiet for a moment, and eventually put the control down and looked at Tilly.
"So yeah, I heard George talking to Esther last night. I think they're doing something this weekend." Tilly's face fell, her eyes shutting briefly. It crushed her to the core to not be part of his plans.
"I don't remember them ever being this close when I was with her. Has he got some kind of misplaced loyalty going on? It's weird. I wish there was something I could do to fix it."
"I think he's supplanted you with her. Maybe it's a fag-hag thing." He smirked at the last comment, not meaning it with any malice but knowing how invested George was in his female company. "It's probably only temporary. He's hurting – you're his oldest friend and you're not there any more."
"Yeah well, that's his choice," she replied, clearly resigned to the fact. "Do you know what they're doing this weekend? Did you hear any details?" Tilly sounded desperate, but she wanted this resolved. Her emotions were constantly being tossed around by her conscience.
"Nothing specific. Although I do think there's a reasonable chance that Esther may come over to Manchester, what with all the gay stuff round here and Chester being more of an inbred locals place."
"If you find anything specific then will you let me know? I need to try something, I just don't know what yet."
"Will do. Where've you been anyway, out all night? At Jen's?"
"Aye," she replied contentedly. Callum saw the fondness in her eyes as she replied. He could see it was more than just superficial, and that Tilly really genuinely cared deeply for Jen. Something he didn't recall seeing when she'd talked about Esther. "Jen's the right one for you. Even though you didn't go about it the right way, the outcome is the right one. I can see it in your eyes."
"Thanks Callum," Tilly replied softly. "When did you become such an old romantic?"
He smiled, nodded, and picked up the control pad to continue his game. Callum had always been an old romantic at heart, but his experience with Maddie had seen it buried deep away for self-protection.
It was ten minutes before classes started, and Jen felt better as she entered the staff room, partially by thoughts of the night before, but she thought that maybe a corner had been turned. If she didn't think about the Esther thing she could only see positives stretching out in front of her. She had Tilly and things were good. Really good. And work was slowly getting better. Positivity was a self-fulfilling prophecy. The better Jen felt the better things seemed generally. Wrapped up her thoughts she didn't notice someone Carla beside her.
"Every time I see you you're always off somewhere lost in your thoughts. They must be pretty good thoughts!" She smiled, and Jen felt her cheeks redden slightly, immediately appreciative that telepathy had yet to be significantly figured out.
"Let's just say I'm feeling more optimistic about things than I was the other day. Sorry about coming across as being on a bit of a downer. I'm not usually the type to blurt things out to complete strangers."
"Well, hopefully not strangers any more?" Carla tilted her head to evoke a response from Jen. Jen just smiled. "You don't seem to interact too much with the other teachers…." Carla was clearly digging a little, and Jen wasn't entirely sure why, but assumed it was idle curiosity, but she didn't want to open old wounds and have the issue raise its head again if people didn't know.
"I'm just one of those people who's a bit slow to integrate. Like when we put on the kids report 'doesn't play well with others.'" She smiled, and with a quick follow up, "But of course once people get to know me I'm awesome." Carla smiled back at her. She could see Jen wasn't going to be hard work.
"I get it, we're teachers – all leather elbow patches and bad breath. Who needs to deal with that shit?" Carla laughed, and nudged Jen with her elbow.
"Come to the pub tomorrow after work. It's a regular thing. There's always someone there, and it's the easiest way for you to 'integrate' yourself a bit more."
She stressed the word Jen had herself used, not really giving her the opportunity to say no. Carla stood as the bell rang, and placed a firm hand on Jen's shoulder and looked at her directly. "It'll be fun - give me someone else to talk to?" And she headed off to her class.
Jen had settled down for a relaxing evening doing nothing again. She didn't feel the need to spend every evening with Tilly, although she would happily have jumped at the chance had it been offered. No matter how much Jens brain thought it was in charge, the suggestion of physical contact with Tilly pushed logic firmly out of the window. She assumed this was how H felt every single day of her life, and wondered how she could possibly manage to cope with that every day. She assumed that H probably didn't, and that's why she was the loveable sex addict Jen knew and loved.
Jen had agreed to give Tilly a call around 8 during what would be her study break.
"Hello you – I missed you. How's your day been?"
"I missed you too, baby. I spent most of the day studying, which was booooring, but I did get some information. George and Esther are going to be doing something this weekend. I'm going to try and find out what." Tilly sounded almost excited as she told Jen the conversation she'd had with Callum. No matter how small the detail, Tilly saw this as her opportunity to mend the fences. Jen wasn't quite as convinced, and as much as she wanted to say something practical, it felt impossible to quash Tilly's enthusiasm.
"I hope Callum can find you out some more information then. What are you going to do if you do find out where they're going?" It was half-hearted, but covered up enough not to make Tilly question.
"Maybe confront them? I dunno, I haven't thought that far ahead yet!" Jen didn't want to push the matter any further.
"The French teacher at work talked to me again - asked me to the pub after work tomorrow." Subconsciously Jen knew why she was telling Tilly this. She wanted some confirmation that it was the right thing to do. Jen was still so unsure about socialising with her work colleagues in case they knew about her history.
"That sounds…. Fun?" Tilly, lightly teased, "At the pub with a load of stuffy teachers!" She laughed loudly, not making any attempt to supress her amusement.
"Hey, I'm one of those stuffy teachers!" Jen smiled to herself at the feigned indignation. "I think I'm going to go though. I need to try and ingratiate myself with the others. I hate being on the outside all the time. And this way I can try and find out if they know about me. If they know about Hollyoaks." When Jen thought of the past it always brought a black cloud over her mood. It was impossible to completely forget the past no matter how hard she tried. As much as she loved Tilly, she was the link to the historical pain, and that would always be a source of conflict for her.
"Do you think they know?" Tilly questioned gently, not wishing to obviously tear open old wounds.
"I've never heard anyone mention it. No snide comments, so I have to assume not." She paused, and Tilly didn't want to break the silence. "Let's not talk about this anymore. Will you be free to come round tomorrow evening? After I've been to the pub with my stuffy colleagues, I'll need to be with someone a little more fun… someone a little more... naked." Jen flicked the conversation easily back to something she was a little more comfortable with.
"I'm sure that can be arranged. Let me know when you're done with the grey squad, and I'll come over and add some colour to your day." Tilly countered, with a shameless acceptance.
"Love you, baby, see you tomorrow," and Jen grinned to herself at the prospect.