Accompanying soundtrack: Disclosure – "White Noise"
Jen sat on the sofa, plate in her lap, toying with the fries. She wasn't intentionally being mean, she just wanted to tease a little to see what response she could elicit. Tilly was watching Jen's every move and her impatience was plain to see. She slowly leant in towards Jen, fingers creeping towards the fries on the plate, only to have her hand swatted away.
"OI! My fries! You've eaten already lady!" Jen feigned indignation, knowing exactly what game Tilly was up to. Tilly grunted.
"You're taking foreeeever to eat them! It's not fair." She pouted, putting on her best child-at-the-cinema-being-denied-expensive-sweets face.
"You're so impatient," Jen grinned wickedly. "Tell me about your day whilst I'm finishing my food," as she popped another fry into her mouth.
"It was dull. I had a couple of classes, and some prep work for a design that's due in a couple of weeks." She paused for a moment. "Well, it wasn't dull, but it's been a slow day, and all I've done is daydream - looking forward to being here with you tonight." A blissful smile appeared on her face as she looked at Jen.
"Oh, yeah, Callum told me like half an hour ago that Esther and George are out in town tomorrow." Jen nodded as Tilly's face lit up as she spoke the words. "I want to try and find them. Bump into them… I've not thought it through yet but I need to do it." She looked at Jen for a reaction or some kind of indicator to signal she wasn't completely insane.
"I'm not entirely sure that's the best way to approach it," Jen replied, finishing her mouthful. "But I can see how much this means to you to try and mend the bridges. Do you think it's something you should do on your own?" Jen wasn't trying to get out of going with Tilly, she just thought it might hinder the delicate negotiations.
"Yeah probably. I'm not sure having you there would help the cause much. Given the history and all" She looked at Jen, worried for a second that offense might be taken.
"I completely understand. The last thing you need is for Esther to think you're rubbing our relationship in her face." Jen scooped the last fry up from her plate and munched through it, she looked Tilly up and down as she did, and placed the empty plate onto the table.
"Now I'm all yours," she said, licking her lips.
Tilly slipped into the club, careful to not been seen by Esther or George just yet. She'd followed them from their regular bar, thanks to Callum giving her some last minute plans he'd overheard them talking about over tea. Tilly had been in the line behind them, and careful to not be seen she had stayed back at a safe distance. They headed down the stairs and Tilly loitered at the top for a short while to give them an opportunity to head for the bar, and to make sure she had enough opportunity to slip down the stairs unseen. She settled into one of the darker corners and watched. The music was loud and the base was thumping especially loud, reverberating from the walls behind her.
Esther and George were laughing – laughing so much. Tilly found it hard to watch, confusing pangs of annoyance and guilt intermingled, but she continued, her eyes transfixed, interrupted only by a short blonde who stopped right in front of her and bluntly offered to buy her a drink. Annoyed at the distraction Tilly dismissed her with a wave of her hand, and when she looked back up she could no longer see either of her targets. She searched frantically with her eyes before she realised they were walking in her direction. She had yet to move, and they had yet to see her, but the timing had given her no alternative, and desperate to address the burning issue that plagued, Tilly walked towards George and Esther sooner than she'd anticipated.
George spotted Tilly coming in their direction and stopped Esther mid-sentence to point out what he'd seen, holding his hand up in front of her chest to cease their advances. Esther stopped and stood still, she watched as Tilly approached, their eyes met in an uncertain contact.
"What do you want?" barked Esther, instantly on the offensive and already probably past any opportunity for a civilised conversation.
"Could we have a talk? I….I need to talk to you." Her face pulled a most earnest look, hoping she would be able to find the smallest hint of compassion from Esther, which meant she would hear Tilly out.
"I don't have anything to say to you. Nothing you could want to discuss would be of interest to me." The words hissed from Esther's mouth through clenched teeth and arms gestured. Esther made moves to turn her back.
"Look - I want to apologise for my behaviour," and Tilly lightly grabbed hold of Esther's arm to stop her from turning completely away.
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!" Esther bawled, returning full to face Tilly. She probably could have predicted what happened next, but Esther took her full glass and threw her drink over Tilly's head.
"Will you just FUCK OFF?!"
Tilly stood in front of Esther in disbelief, sticky beer dripping down her face and top whilst Esther stood frowning back, a fire burning in her eyes. Other people who were standing close had stopped what they were doing and were staring at the two of them. The music continued to pulse in the background unabated.
"I never thought of myself as the vindictive type, but it seems I was pushed to it somehow." Esther's lips pursed cruelly as she dropped the words impassively. "I don't need to talk to you – what can you possibly say that could change anything. Hell, I don't want you back. But if you think that you'll get away with what you did Scott free," she grinned manically, eyes wide and focused as she shook her head from side to side, "then you're very much mistaken." Upon the last word Esther moved her head closer to Tilly, wanting to impress up her the seriousness of her words.
Tilly swallowed, taken aback by the undercurrent of venom present before her. Speechless she turned on her heels and walked away. She was closely followed by George, but she hadn't realised this until she was outside. He grabbed her by the shoulder.
"What in the actual hell are you doing? Are you stalking us or something? How… why are you here?" He rattled off a quick succession of questions as Tilly started to shiver slightly as the cold liquid continued to seep through her clothes.
"I want to sort this shit out, George!" Tilly shouted back at him. "I want to try and salvage the friendship we had. The friendship we all had." George snorted derisively, astonished at the bare-faced cheek. At this point Tilly had not only burnt all her bridges, but set the village on fire too.
"George, I love you – you're my oldest friend." She felt the sting of tears welling in her eyes, and she blinked rapidly as the darkness outside mixed with the brightness of passing car headlights blinded her dampening vision. "I made a mistake, and I'm truly repentant, yet you've chosen Esther over me. No matter what I've done I never thought you wouldn't choose me." Tears started to roll down her cheeks as the words spluttered out. Her eyes were stinging badly from the alcohol mixing with her tears.
"What you did to Esther, given all she's been through is terrible! Such a terrible thing. And with Jen of all people." He momentarily closed his eyes, and brushed his hand across and down his face.
"I love Jen, George! I've always loved her, even when I wasn't with her. Even when I hated her the most I still loved her. The most terrible thing would have been to string Esther along, repeatedly lying to her." She dropped her head with remorse, thinking that her words weren't doing her any favours. "And worse of all…. lying to myself." Tilly's voice was low and broken, and George looked at her regretfully.
"I know you're looking out for Esther. You always want to help the lame duck because you're such a caring person, George. That's one of the things I love about you most. That and you're a lovely big old camp queen." She smiled weakly, a slight frown furrowed on her brow, and her bottom lip trembling. George couldn't help but laugh. He dropped his head and stared at the floor momentarily before looking straight into Tilly's saddened eyes and throwing his arms around her. It was impossible to throw away their years of friendship.
"I do love a lame duck," he said quietly, arms still wrapped firmly around the redheads shaking body. "We'll work something out." Tilly sighed and he felt her body relax.
"I do hope so. I can't carry on with us merely just existing in the same space. I miss my George."
"I need to go back inside now, Esther will be wondering where I've gotten to. Next time you're home we'll talk – I promise." Tilly smiled as he released the hug and headed back inside the club. He turned momentarily to smile back at Tilly, before waving his stamped hand at the bouncer to gain readmission.
Tilly propped herself against a wall and breathed a huge sigh. That's where she stayed for a few minutes until the adrenalin subsided and the cold night air sought to remind her that she was chilly and damp. She'd already agreed with Jen that she'd pick her up if she needed, all she needed to do was send a text.
"Baby, will you pick me up, please. I'm outside Mutz Nutz"
She didn't need to say anything more. As soon as Jen read the message she jumped from her seat, grabbed the car keys and flew out of the door. Not knowing whether it had gone well, or if it had gone badly was largely immaterial, she just needed to get there for Tilly as soon as possible.
She looked ahead down the road, scouring the pavement for that familiar face, until she saw it, looking somewhat bedraggled as she swiftly pulled up alongside her. Tilly opened the door and slid in, saying nothing but reaching her arms out for Jen. Jen held Tilly in the strongest hug she could manage without restricting breath. Jen wanted Tilly to be the first to speak, and she waited for almost an eternity for the silence to break. And it was eventually broken by a big sigh as she pulled back slightly from Jen.
"This," and she waved her hand up and down her torso in obvious demonstration of the sticky mess, "is Esther's handiwork. A whole fucking pint no less." She smiled wryly. "I probably should have expected it, and I'm grateful it wasn't a punch in the face!"
"Bloody waste of a pint though, eh?" Jen leant in and gave Tilly a soft kiss on the lips, hoping that her remark might be more of a tension breaker.
"Aye. She was so mad though. Like crazy mad. And then she told me to just fuck off. So I did." Tilly shrugged her shoulders in blithe acceptance. "George followed me out, really angry at first, but we talked and I think things will be OK." She sighed again. It was a large weight off her mind, and more than anything recovering the friendship with George was her main aim.
"I'm pleased babe, I really am," Jen nodded gently, smiling back at the emotionally exhausted face in front of her. "Let's head home, shall we. I think you probably need a shower." Tilly looked lovingly at Jen.
"And after that I need the biggest cwtch you can muster. I want to fall asleep in your arms and not think about this again for as long as I can manage." Tilly rested her hand familiarly on Jen's leg as she pulled out into the traffic and headed back to Jen's.
[NB: 'Cwtch' (Pronounced 'Kutch') is a beautiful Welsh word for hug or cuddle, but it means so much more than the word hug can convey really, almost like small safe place.]