Hello! Don't have much to say, so I won't ramble on! Hope you enjoy the chapter! Still have about the next 4 chapters written so the next one should be up next week. Please review! Enjoy

Chapter 6

Scars

The room was dark once again. I sat on the bed, my knees pulled to my chest. In just a few hours it would be a new day, but I wasn't ready to let the old one go.

My mind raced with snapshots of the conversation with Rossi. Maybe I don't have a reason to stick with this job anymore. Maybe this is life's way of telling me to call it quits, and I'm just too stubborn to see it.

There'd been the voice nagging in the back of my head the moment I'd come back to the BAU. There was a part of me that hadn't returned after Doyle. There was a part of me that was buried in the ground under a false gravestone; a part of me that would never fully heal.

And then everything happened with Chandler. New wounds appeared over the old ones; I was broken again before I'd ever fully healed. And part of me feared that if I kept going any longer that I would forever be covered in scars.

But right now the bigger part of me wanted to see this through. No matter how much it hurt, or no matter how scared I was. I had to prove to myself that I could face darkness and push through, even if I was walking blindly.

It might be the worst decision I ever made, or the best thing that I ever did for myself. But sitting there, in the quiet dark, memories and new thoughts flooding into my mind quicker than I could comprehend, I knew I had to win this fight.

I was awake just as the sun began to filter through the hotel window. JJ was already up and getting ready. The smell of hotel coffee filled my lungs as I stretched the tired muscles of my body; I cursed myself for falling asleep in such a god-awful position.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, the previous night's events cascaded into my mind. I wanted the whole night to just be a nightmare, instead of a night plagued by them.

My cheeks flushed at the thought of the whole team witnessing one of my most demeaning moments. I closed my eyes and let out a small grown; I want to go back to sleep.

I heard a soft laugh and opened my eyes. JJ sat on her bed across from me, running a towel through her wet hair.

"Did you get much sleep?"

"You mean after my lovely 'episode' that woke the whole hotel." I sat up and faced her, raising an eyebrow as the sarcasm seeped into my voice.

She smiled. "It wasn't that bad."

I laughed, un-amused. "The whole team was standing at the foot of my bed before I was even fully awake. It had to have been bad."

Her face became serious. "We've all been there, Emily. It's happened to all of us, we all just happened to witness when it happened to you."

I shrugged my shoulders, instantly regretting it as the pain trickled down my arm. I clenched my teeth and hoped that JJ hadn't been watching me too closely.

"I'm gonna go get ready." I could feel her eyes on me but pretended not to notice as I gathered my clothes together. "I'll meet you downstairs in twenty minutes?"

Not waiting for her response, I slipped inside the small bathroom and closed the door behind me. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the door. All I wanted to do was go home.

My whole body seemed to throb with the insistent headache and every time I moved my shoulder a buzzing pain shot down my arm. Even though I hated how they clouded my mind, I seriously wanted some hardcore pain killers.

I looked at my sullen reflection in the mirror. Seemingly permanent dark circles hung under my eyes and my skin looked a few shades paler, which I honestly thought would not have been impossible.

Carefully, I took the baggy sweatshirt over my head, leaving only the white tank top and a dark pink three inch scar. I let my fingers graze over the torn skin.

Three inches deep; torn muscle; slight knick to artery. There was no permanent damage, just lingering pain. I was told I was lucky that it missed my heart; that I was lucky to be alive. I wouldn't call it luck.

He knew what he was doing. He'd made the same cut to his eight previous victims. Knowing it would be painful; that it would be a slow bleed, but they would survive. Survive just long enough for him to torture them more.

I gripped the edge of the sink, suddenly feeling light headed.

Now there was another UnSub, doing the exact same thing. It was bad enough the first time around; the bloody autopsy photos, the young girl's bodies covered in wounds that would never get a chance to heal.

Shaking my head, I turned on the shower as hot as the water could go. Standing in a hotel bathroom reliving things that can't be changed wasn't going to get us any closer to catching this new UnSub.

And the sooner he was caught, the sooner I could find comfort in my own home.

And not to mention, a lovely little bottle of painkillers.